Veronica 2030 (1999) day two. Last night, we introduced the characters, now lets put names to them. The two models who work for the lingerie fetish shop are played by Wendy Dudson and Sandy Wasko. Wasko has several credits for acting and stunt work. Dudson is a one-time wonder. The female scientist is played by Stephanee LaFleur, who has modeled for Bayliner Boats, worked with Playboy, and is again making films. And last is Veronica, played by Julia.
The two scientists must come back in time to retrieve Veronica, veronica sees her boss, whom she has a crush on, having sex with the two models, and goes to work for Nikki Fritz for a while, but everything turns out fine in the end. Meanwhile, all of the women show everything, and most of them have numerous sex scenes with both men and women, and model exotic lingerie the rest of the time.
IMDb readers have this scored at 2.2, but based on comments, they are reviewing a heavily edited and censored version. I am giving it a C+ as a soft-core. What it lacks in plot complexity, it makes up for in nudity and simulated sex.
Wendy Davidson and Sandy Wasko
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Wyatt Earp (1994)
A quick refresher to get you up to
speed. In 1993-1994, there were two major Wyatt Earp movies, both of
which have now become two disk DVD sets. The first was
Tombstone, with Val Kilmer and Kurt Russell as Doc Holliday and
Earp, respectively. That one received some critical kudos and
garnered $56 million at the box office. This film, Wyatt Earp,
was in the "me too" position, featured two far less charismatic
actors (Kevin Costner and Dennis Quaid), was three hours long, and
did a disappointing $25 million at the box, despite a lavish $63
|as Wyatt Earp
|as Doc Holliday
|as Virgil Earp
|Rotten Tomatoes (% positive
That chart leads you to believe that Wyatt Earp is Tombstone's
retarded cousin, but that impression is not precisely accurate.
It is true that Tombstone is far more
iconographic, more flamboyant, and a much better yarn. On the other
hand, I spent some time looking up what really happened in the
lives of the people involved, and where the two movies differed,
Wyatt Earp had the more accurate version.
A couple of examples:
Shortly after the death of Morgan
Earp, Wyatt and some of his posse killed Frank Stillwell (presumed
to be one of the men who ambushed Morgan and Virgil) at the Tucson
train station. Tombstone showed Wyatt bravely facing Stillwell down,
then letting Ike Clanton go when he begged for mercy. The other
movie showed the truth - a revenge-bent mad dog Wyatt Earp unloading
bullet after bullet into Stillwell after he fell.
The death of Johnny Ringo was
portrayed in the Russell version in a legendary manner. Ringo was
set to fight Wyatt Earp, who he expected to kill in a fair fight,
because he was a great gunfighter and Earp wasn't. Somehow, Doc
Holliday, the greatest of all the gunfighters, crawled out of his
death bed and got to Ringo before his friend Earp could arrive, thus
changing the gun battle to one which Ringo could expect to lose, and
did lose. Not only does this version have no basis in fact, or even
in legend, but it doesn't even make sense in the script. Earp had to
go to point A, where he got a message to meet Ringo at point B - a
place Holliday did not know about. So even if Holliday could have
crawled out of bed, dressed, saddled his horse, and raced past his
friend to get to Ringo first, despite his friend's massive head
start and good health, he could not have known where to go in the
first place! There is simply no way he could have been there to
battle Ringo, yet there he was.
Even the actors in Wyatt Earp, being
down-to-earth "regular Joe" kinds of guys, seemed much more
believable than the ones in Tombstone. Kevin Costner portrayed Earp
as a decent guy with a cold, hard streak and sometimes a viper's
tongue, but Kurt Russell's Earp seems more like a movie hero than a
real man (although Russell looked more like Earp, and managed to
grow the correct moustache). Dennis
Quaid gave an excellent performance, and probably represented Doc
Holliday as he really was, while Val Kilmer was completely
unbelievable and sometimes downright silly - he seemed like he was
playing that histrionic actor character in The Fantastiks.
But compared to Quaid, Kilmer was far
Oh-oh. There's the real point. Look
at the last three words of the preceding paragraph. Wyatt Earp is
three hours and ten minutes of credibility (with another twenty
minutes of deleted scenes). Tombstone is two hours of entertainment.
Which one do you want to watch?
I don't know about all of you, but
when it comes to movies, I find that the truth is highly overrated.
Joanna Going (1,
Annabeth Gish (1,
The first rule of Patriot Club - don't talk about Patriot Club.
The Sun picks the best cleavage ever
25 famous (or semi-famous) first lines.
Great tool - Textalyser - analyze any passage or website for lots
of different things, with many modifiable parameters.
Environmental protection, water systems - lots of videos from the
Saddam files war crimes suit!: "VETERAN French lawyer
Jacques Verges will today file a war crimes suit against Britain
at the International Criminal Court in The Hague. Mr Verges, who
says he has been asked to act for former Iraqi president Saddam
Hussein, said the suit would be on behalf of 'the families of
prisoners of the coalition in which Britain participates'."
Pacino's latest project.
Some nice pics from Spider-Man 2
The first trailer for Constantine: Based on the
DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer, starring Keanu.
Kurt Vonnegut on war and power.
The Daily Show looks at the prison abuse scandal.
The Citizen Kane of XXX dinosaur porn
Courtney Love is lookin' good!
Brooklyn Historical Society opens beer exhibit.
American Idol update. Clips, judges' comments, votes.
Archaeologists have found what they believe to be the site of the
Library of Alexandria, often described as the world's first major
seat of learning.
Party Set for Andy Kaufman this Sunday, Just in Case He Was Faking
Pi to 1,000,000 places
Gnaughty gnomes gnot gnude gnow.
- URL says it all:
Sexual Positions Free - Learn Some New Sexual Positions
Does your penis look like Jesus'? Circumcise yourself in four E-Z
at home steps "For this procedure you will need: A
kitchen knife, a can of Crisco, a roll of paper towels, and your
Boston Globe publishes bogus GI rape pictures. Remember
when we busted those fake prisoner abuse pictures from the
Hungarian porno site? Several days ago? Well, although they were
laughably obvious fakes, the Boston Globe bought them hook,
A Southern California city known as 'Little Saigon' has become the
first U.S. city to declare itself a 'no Communist' zone.
Of course, our city has always been a "No Depardieu" zone.
The Iraqi national soccer team qualifies for the Olympics!
The Calgary Flames must have the best naked fans in all of sports.
You wan cher fuckin' Flying Car? We got cher fuckin' Flying Car
right chere (grabs crotch).: "Moller International has
developed the first and only feasible, personally affordable,
personal vertical takeoff and landing (VTOL) vehicle the world has
ever seen. "
George Costanza spotted in Florida: "A short, dumpy man
has been going around town faking choking episodes, apparently to
get attention from women"
ESPN - Writing down the 'Unwritten Rules' of Sport .
- URL probably says it all, although I don't know exactly what
A sexually excited stallion bit a Polish man to death when he
tried to calm the beast. Wait, that was no horse. It
was Colin Farrell!
Have 17 years passed already? Trillions of cicadas to hit eastern,
southern states. All they do is mate frantically until
their next hibernation begins. They're also a lot like Colin
Ollie North on Torturegate: "the kind of thing that you might find
on any college campus nowadays" Gosh. That makes me
want to be young again.
Complete recap of the HIV outbreak in the porn industry.
The teaser poster for Ocean's 12
Film stars staying at the ritzy Carlton hotel during the Cannes
festival risk finding their beds unmade and mini-bars empty.
Oh, my God. What will they do? Isn't this, like, in the Geneva
Convention or something?
Colorado braces for 16 inches of snow: Hey, December
called, they want their headline back.
John Waters's 'Dirty Shame' Gets NC-17 Tag. It is only
the third such film of the year (Young Adam and The Dreamers are
the other two.)
Shocking shots of sexcapades involving Pfc. Lynndie England were
among the hundreds of X-rated photos and videos from the Abu
Ghraib prison scandal
Roadside Architecture. 300 pages of roadside kitsch,
memorabilia, art deco, nostalgia, and just plain crap.
- This week's movies:
Coffee and Cigarettes - 54% positive reviews. This film
is expected to be seen by anywhere from 0 to 2 people, depending
on how many of the director's parents are still alive.
- This week's movies:
Breakin' All the Rules - 29% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
Troy - 45% positive reviews.
Quiz: which Homeric hero are you?
- Presidential Rochambeau:
Quentin Tarantino, secret bastard son of John Kerry and/or Vince
McMahon, shows dad how to throw a proper "rock"
John Kerry's "short list" for a way to define himself to the
My Life - The Memoirs of Bill Clinton - optioned for a movie,
starring Ron Jeremy.
The Hot MILFs of Network TV
You got an ice cream cone in my Pizza! No, you got pizza in my ice
cream cone? Mmmmm ... it's the konopizza! "The
Konopizza is the biggest fast-food invention since the hamburger."
(Actual quote from the company) And there's already Konopizza the
TV series, with Zulupizza as Konopizza. .
Asians have their own Inflatable Love Dolls. (And they
all look like the chicks on Speed Racer)
New CD: The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld and Other Fresh American
JoBlo.com takes a sneak peek at Resident Evil 2
A completely hilarious little clip from Dodgeball: A True Underdog
Story . Highly recommended!
Gangs used Internet to plan street fight. "The Jets are
gonna get more RAM tonight". "I've just met a girl named Maria.
Unfortunately, I met her in a chat room, and she's a 42 year old
House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, said he thought 'some
people are overreacting' to the gruesome new abuse photos.
'The people who are against the war are using this to their
political ends,' said the former pest control specialist.
The President's approval ratings fall again, amid Iraq woes.
His overall rating is at its lowest ebb, as is the approval for
his handling of the economy.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Holly Marie Combs in A Reason to Believe (.avi, .wmv)
Mia Sara in Undertow (.avi, .wmv)
Nicolette Sheridan in Raw Nerve (.avi, .wmv)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Can it Be Love (1992) is also known as "Spring Break
Sorority Babes." That's about all you need to know
about this one.
Plot goes something like this: two Midwestern nerds
travel to Southern California, lose their money and
car in short order but are adopted by a female private
investigator. She wants them to find one of fifty
sorority sisters with a distinctive birthmark, for ya
see: 1) the sorority gal is an heiress; 2) the
inheritance has an "acquire-by" date that is just
about to expire. The birthmark is no place readily
apparent, even on the beach, so our boys, the
detective and a second woman work out ways to view
each of the sisters in some state of undress.
Shee-it, that there is plenty of plot. All the durn
plot you need to make yourself a right-nice movie.
Simple procedure. Hire a bunch of great-looking young
women, get them undressed and film them as the boys
look at them.
And to a first approximation that is what the makers
of this movie have done. But somewhere along the way
they lost their nerve. The problem is found in the
very different groups of women who make an appearance.
There are those who are named and who appear singly.
Only one of them, Lorissa McComas, gets sincerely
Then there are the groups of gals who appear
collectively in three scenes, a fantasy sequence, a
wet t-shirt contest and a cheerleader lockerroom and
shower. These gals do give up major goodies and many
of the same women appear in all three scenes, but they
are named as a group and in only one case was I able
to figure out which name went with which babe.
A third group, unnamed babes at the beach, make
appearances throughout the movie. These women tend to
wear thongs, which makes 'Can It Be..." a real treat
for guys with the appreciation for bums as little ol'
So, ya sure, for breezy entertainment with lots to
look at, this is just a fine and dandy little movie.
But it could have been so much more if its makers had
followed the sage advice of the wise Uncle Scoopy.
Once you've shown boobies, the R rating is a given, so
why not show a lot more. It's the Scoopy
tits-are-free principle, which rivals the Heisenberg
Uncertainty Principle for its elegance and power. But
the logic eludes those who made this opus magnum. And
so the director has many women get to the threshold of
exposure and pull back.
The exposed and identified women include:
Women who are named and who get darn close to goodie
exposure but not quite include:
- 1) Lorissa McComas, who shows off her robohooters and her
- 2) Shelly Jones, who peels off her top in the entirely
gratuitous but so very welcome wet T-shirt contest.
Shelly is at least semi-famous. IMDb says she was
once an Orange Bowl Queen but has lately rurned to
movies of a decidedly adult flavor. She appeared in
the Hefmag a while ago and from the pics I was able to
- 3) Stephanie Finley, who like Lorissa, strips before a
two-way mirror. Her scene, however, is marred by the
obtrusive reflection of a nerd-hero as he gazes upon
her loveliness. Stephanie is a veteran bikini model.
- 4) Jennifer Langdon, a tall skinny blonde, who kind of
shows off her mini's and her bum in a shower.
- 5) Lesa Steene, patriotic bikini girl with a killer bum.
And then there are the unknowns. These women are
credited, but only as a group. Lots and lots of bum
and some rather nice upper goodies, to boot.
- 1) Blake Pickett. She plays the private investigator
and looks fantastic. The movie was made in the short
period between Blake's job as a gameshow hostess on
The Nashville Network and her most recent incarnation
as a blonde B-movie bim. Here you see the side of a
breast and her shapely but covered bum in a bikini
(collage 1) and not much in lingerie (collage 2).
- 2) Julie Clarke, Heffer of the month for March 1991.
Julie poses in lingerie that reveals a bit of her bum
and what looks to be the darkness of her furry bits.
- 3) Karen Trella. (1,
3) This woman is the best thing about
the movie. Karen makes her appearance in the movie
wearing a bikini that is skimpy over a body that is
yummy. First collage is a composite of frames in a
slow pan across her body, whereas the second shows off
her el primo bum.
Later in the movie Karen plays a cheerleader who
wears a thong under her uniform, instead of those
granny pants these girls usually wear. Great friggin
idea! I say we make this mandatory for all
cheerleaders outside of Nebraska (where throwing some
oil and vinegar on a lawn is called "salad.") Karen,
for those who are interested, appeared in the 1994 SI
- 5) Maryann Mixon was the main female character. You
see her in a bra late in the movie. Nuthin else,
nuthin more. First movie she ever made... and the
last. Let that be an object lesson to you Hollywood
newbies: give up the goodies or you'll never work in
- assorted unknowns
I liked this movie, watched it through to the end not
because of the way it lifted the human spirit but
because of the babes in and out of bikinis. If that's
what motivates y'all, then by all means pick up this
DeadLamb's recap of some recent TV highlights.
- The new, improved Anna Nicole Smith stopping by the Tonight Show. I don't think she's ever looked better.
- From Monday night's episode of "Las Vegas"
Vanessa Marcil, excellent cleavage and pokies
Nikki Cox, her usual cleavage.
Jessica Rey, no skin, but the former Power Ranger looks very cute.
- Pam Anderson on Leno. As Pat mention in the Comedy Wire section yesterday, Pam was wearing a sheer dress that revealed her nipples under the studio lights during her interview.
- Jewel doing a Loreal ad.
- Joie Lenz, showing some pokies on an episode of "One Tree Hill".
- Sandra Bullock, making a guest appearance on "George Lopez".
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"The Curse of the Komodo"
B-movies have their own responsibility. They gotta be bad, of course, but they also need decent acting, a plot that isn't totally ridiculous, some good looking monsters (if they're monster movies like this one), some reasonable production quality, and some gratuitous nudity. 2003's The Curse of the Komodo got most of it right.
A group of genetically altered Komodo Dragons turn against their creators on a remote tropical island. Will the scientists that created them wind up as dinner? You betcha. Oh, and for kicks, let's turn a couple of the guys into zombies after touching the slime exuded by the Komodos. Lame enough to be bad, and good enough to watch, this is a fun B-movie, which has already shown up on Sci-Fi channel (minus most of the nude bathing scene).
|Buffy's little sister showing some cleavage and looking fantastic in bra and bikini 'caps from "Eurotrip". The critics panned it, and it didn't stay in theaters very long, but don't let that keep you from seeing this movie. As Scoop mentioned in his review, this movie is "...wildly underrated. This film is in exceptionally bad taste, is completely politically incorrect, and is absolutely hilarious." Look for it on DVD June 1st.
|Señor Skin 'caps of all 3 of Bello's B's in scenes from the very good indie movie "The Cooler", starring William H. Macy and Alec Baldwin (who was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this role).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
PORN INDUSTRY BACK IN BUSINESS
Porn Again! - Wednesday, the Southern California porn industry ended its
self-imposed moratorium a month earlier than expected. They said batteries
of HIV tests have been complete, so performers not on the quarantine list
can safely return to work. The porn stars had been out of work for 30
They were so broke, they almost stooped to having sex for money.
Finally, they can get out of bed and go back to bed!
Thank God! The long national nightmare is over!
PLAYBOY SEEKS WOMEN OF HOME DEPOT
Next: Naked Cafeteria Ladies! - Playboy.com is seeking women to pose for a
"Women of Home Depot" nude pictorial. Home Depot said they do not endorse
it, but they didn't say if they would take any action against employees who
pose. Playboy said they want female employees to "shuck their orange
smocks and show their hardware."
Standards of beauty sure have changed! Women used to have software.
Women who pose nude will be demoted to the screw department.
Just what wives need: another reason for their husbands to spend their
entire Saturdays at Home Depot.
PAM BECOMES AN AMERICAN
She Could Pass It With One Breast Behind Her Back - Wednesday, Canadian
Pamela Anderson took her final test to become a U.S. citizen. She had to
undergo an interview with immigration officials and take a 10-question
test, which included such puzzlers as "What are the colors of the flag?"
and "What is the White House?" Pam's spokeswoman said she did "fabulous"
Of course she did: her breasts are harder than this test.
The test took ten minutes, but the officials interviewed her for 12
So Bush wants to give blanket amnesty to illegals from Mexico, but he
makes Pamela Anderson pass a test to get in?! This wouldn't have happened
under Bill Clinton!
FAVORITE BOOTED FROM "AMERICAN IDOL"
The Only LaToya Who Can Sing - "American Idol" voters delivered another
shock last night, voting off odds-on favorite LaToya London, widely
considered to be the best singer, as the audience booed. Some theories:
the familiar charge of racism, that London and Fantasia Barrino split the
African-American diva vote, that London was technically great but
personally cold, and that Simon Cowell actually saved the worst singer,
Jasmine Trias, by being so hard on her that she cried and got the sympathy
Her strategy for next week is to be really bad and bawl her head off.
So from now on, Simon will be kind to everyone...Ha, just kidding!
At this rate, they should've let William Hung compete...He might've WON!
(PAT'S PREDICTION! Next American Idol: Should be Fantasia, but it'll be
Diana DeGarmo. She's the better singer of the remaining non-black people.)