"Shandra: The Jungle Girl"

Shandra: The Jungle Girl (1999) is a titty flick straight to vid. Shandra (played by Lisa Throw) is a jungle queen who lives forever, and has sexual power over men. A research institute wants to capture her to find her secrets, and a government agency wants to take her apart with the idea of developing a super biological weapon. The institute hires Lisa Comshaw, a big game hunter, to capture her. Mia (AKA Mia Zottoli, Ava Lake) and her scientist partner go along. Vanessa Taylor, as a stripper, rounds out the female members of the cast, and the exposure.

They manage to capture Shandra, and everybody has sex with her at least once. Everyone is interested in exploiting her except Mia and her partner. All four women show breasts. This is an awful film, and an equally bad transfer. There is little nudity, the sex is tepid and mainly implied, and I think all of the dialogue was improvised, based on the illiterate English it was peppered with. IMDb readers weren't fooled, and have it at 2.1. This is a clear F.

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  • Lisa Comshaw (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Lisa Throw (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Mia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Vanesa Taylor (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Veronica 2030"

    Veronica 2030 (1999) is an excellent soft core, not because of the plot, but because of the amazing amount of nudity and simulated sex in clear light. Also, the plot justifies having all the women in provocative lingerie. Two scientists from the future have created a sexual android (Veronica) with an eye toward rekindling the human races interest in sex. When a security guard has sex with her, then messes with the lab computer, he transports her into the past. She lands in a Hollywood fetish lingerie shop, and joins the two regular models in a photo shoot. Meanwhile, the shop is not doing well, but Veronica promises to turn that around, she is that hot.

    Which finally gets us to tonight's nudity. Nikki Fritz own a very successful competing fetish sex business, and a hard core cable network. Naturally, she wants to steal Veronica. Fritz shows everything (as do all of the women in this film) and has sex with two or three men and one woman. Tomorrow night, the rest of the review and the other three naked women.

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  • Nikki Fritz (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The King's Whore (1990)

    I wrote last week that this is not available on DVD, and two alert readers wrote to tell me that it is, albeit on an incredibly crappy DVD, one of those that comes in the hard plastic see-through case and sells for four bucks at Best Buy.

    So here it is.

    The transfer is abysmal, but at least it allowed us to cap a large, fairly clear representation of the famous Valeria Golino open beaver shot. (Collage number three).

    • Valeria Golino. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) There was quite a bit more, but the poor transfer didn't permit any worthwhile images.




    La Mentale (2002)

    I'll be damned if I can figure out how people decide which French films to distribute in America. I can see the logic in distributing great movies, movies that are uniquely French, or movies that provide something fresh and creative that can't be seen in American films.

    What I can't follow is the logic in distributing a grade B French copy of an American genre film which consists mainly of grade B films to begin with! If we wanted to see a film like La Mentale, there are about 10 Hollywood movies and 10 indies with this exact same premise every year, and they have the extra benefit of being in English.

    What's it about?

    I'll give you the start of the premise. Let me see if you can guess the rest.

    A criminal is released from jail. He is determined to work a regular job and make a decent life with his beautiful straight-arrow girlfriend, but his old criminal buddies want him to come back for ____________.

    Is your answer locked in?

    If you guessed anything else besides "one last big job", shame on you. This has now been the premise of about every third film since the Lumieres screened their first film. In fact, this very plot was probably in the Lumieres' second film.

    Our ex-con gets drawn in deeper. Yadda yadda. Gang wars. Yadda Yadda. Turf battle. Yadda yadda. Ex-girlfriends. Innocent people killed. Yadda yadda. Bloody shoot out. Tragedy. Yak yak. And so forth.

    This film has absolutely no American audience. It has no appeal to the intellectual Francophiles who adore French cinema, and it has no appeal to mainstream audiences who would go to see a French film if it were truly special, ala Amelie. The type of Americans who want to see this kind of film are not the same type that go to movies with subtitles, especially when the film covers no new ground at all.

    If this really appeals to you, you should be able to find a few hundred American movies with the same plot, better production values, and no subtitles.

    Even the nudity is a cheap rip-off. Pretty Marie Guillard flashes a nipple in the opening credits - pretty promising, right? That was it for the entire film.

    Even Clotilde Courau, who makes a living by being "the slutty-lookin' chick who gets naked", played against type in this film as "the slutty-lookin' chick who stays dressed".




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    • Before Owen Wilson, there was Ryan O'Neal. Wilson's 2004 film, The Big Bounce, was a remake of a 35 year old Ryan O'Neal film, or more precisely, the second unsuccessful effort to translate the Elmore Leonard novel to a screenplay. The earlier film sucks just as bad, but has much better nudity. Here's Leigh Taylor-Young. (1, 2, 3, 4)





    Hi Scoop,

    Could you ask your readers if anyone has these shots?

    - TV legend Jaye P. Morgan apparently bared her breasts in "The Gong Show Movie." I've had the hots for her since I watched this show as a kid.

    - Actress Lisa Edelstein played Rob Lowe's hooker girlfriend in the first season of "The West Wing." In the pilot episode, in a scene in bed with Lowe, she rolls over on her knees and gives a glorious pantied, posterior  view of her nether regions. No nudity, but the shot is quite sexy, as you can still see a lot. It's a quick but clear frame on the DVD.

    thanks for a great page,

    Scoop's response:

    Here is the Jaye P Morgan picture, courtesy of Celebrity Sleuth Volume 3, Number 3.

    One of you guys will have to help out with the other request. I drew a blank.



    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    • Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio in January Man (.avi, .wmv)

    • since Clotilde Courau didn't get nekkid in La Mentale (above), Shiloh got together a perfect clip of her -  stark naked, full frontal, in great light in Le Poulpe. Simply a great scene, kind of a serious version of Amanda Peet's famous scene in The Whole Nine Yards (.avi, .wmv)

    • Julia Ormond always seemed to me like one of those actresses who never became as big a star as she deserved to be. This film, The Prime Gig, came and went without anyone noticing.  (.avi, .wmv)

    • Joanna Going, a nudity hall of famer, in Lola  (.avi, .wmv)




    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    A few quick paparazzi edits by Brainscan. Sadly, no nudity today.

    • Josie Maran, the model and current "Van Helsing" babe showing a little cleavage.

    • Leslie Bibb

    • Mandy Moore, the young singer and actress also showing a tiny bit of cleavage.

    • Rachel Boston, the "American Dreams" co-star wearing a lo-cut dress.

    Crimson Ghost
    Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1982 nekkid-chick-vigilante-revenge movie "Alley Cat" (1982).

    • Karin Mani bares breasts and bum in two shower scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

    • Karin Mani .wmvs of her shower scenes. (1, 2, 3)

    Hudson Leick
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    To me she'll always be the evil Callisto from "Xena". Here she is topless in scenes from "After the Game" (1995) or (1997) aka "The Last Hand" (2004). Click here for Scoop and Tuna's reviews.

    Susie Porter
    (1, 2)

    Topless in scenes from the very off beat Aussie film "Welcome to Woop Woop" (1997).

    Geneviève Rioux
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Topless in scenes from the French Canadian movie "Le Déclin de l'empire américain" ("The Decline of the American Empire") (1986).

    Monique Parent
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of one of the hardest working babes on Skinemax. Since 1991 she's been in 74 movies! Here she is topless and showing a bit of bum in scenes from "Mirror, Mirror III: The Voyeur" (1995).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Jackpot! - Last night, Pamela Anderson appeared on Jay Leno's "Tonight Show" from Las Vegas. Leno showed a nude photo of her from Playboy with only her nipples pixilated. Apparently, neither Leno nor Pam realized that under the bright TV lights, her stretched-tight, black spandex top became semi-transparent, and her nipples were plainly visible throughout the entire show.

  • Oddly enough, turns out her nipples really ARE pixilated.
  • And we won't even mention her black spandex pants.
  • The NBC censors figured, "Eh, everyone's already seen them a million times already..."
  • It's nice to see an old fashioned girl who displays her nipples on national TV without any kinky piercings or medallions.

    It'll Be Gone In A New York Minute - According to Box Office Mojo, the Olsen Twins have a record failure with their new movie, "New York Minute." The teens have made a billion dollars in home video, but their movie's $6 million debut weekend is the lowest ever for a movie playing at over 3,000 theaters. At this rate, it's expected to gross a total of $18 million, breaking the record set by "Battlefield Earth" for the least money earned by a movie playing in over 3,000 theaters.

  • How could any movie with 17-year-old female twins earn less than a movie with John Travolta in a Halloween costume?
  • It's in over 3,000 theaters, which means it was seen by more projectionists than customers.

    Carb Overloading - Thanks to the low-carb craze, food makers are taking the carbs out of all the popular summer foods, just in time for vacation season. Look for new "low-carb" versions of ice cream, pizza, Minute Maid lemonade, burgers, beer and sodas, including Coca-Cola C2 and Pepsi Edge. But some nutritionists warn that people should look closely at the labels. For instance, some "low-carb" beers have only one fewer carb than regular light beer, while a certain "low carb" coffee creamer has more carbs than half-and-half.

  • But it must be better because it costs three times as much.
  • So be sure to have it with some low-carb coffee.
  • Another big hit this summer will be Coppertone's new "Low-Carb" sunscreen.