Entertainment News
Subject: "Battlefield Earth"
MOVIE GOSSIP!, by Uncle Scoopy.....Advance word is that "Battlefield Earth" is a neutron bomb of "Hudson Hawk" proportions. Could be a good topic of conversation, if you love trashing bad movies as much as we do. The "E-meter" sez...It's "Excrement"

Subject: "Hollyweird"
Hollywood has gone completely looney, by Scoopy Jr....On Thursday, the Kool-Aid Man was immortalized by having 'his' footprints placed in cement in front of Mann's Chinese Theatre. That's right folks, along side legends of the silver screen, brilliant filmmakers who have revolutionized the industry, and entertainers of incredible rests the footprints of a 25 year old ad campaign!
Click here for the full press release about the drink mix that has made us laugh, cry, and enjoy the movies?

El Kabong
Alice Dodd

Ana Paula Lemes

Amanda Lewis

Esther Canadas

Kim Smith

Mena Suvari

Simone Muterthies

More great scans from the Maxim Hot 100
Katrin Cartlidge from "Naked"

Katrin Cartlidge #2 from "Career Girls"

Emily Lloyd in "When Saturday Comes"

Siri Neal in "The Cloning of Joanna May"

Charlotte Rampling from "Caravan to Vaccares"

Vanessa Redgrave from "Isadora"

Rachel Scorgie, vidcaps from "Twin Town"

Juliet Stevenson in 'caps from "Secret Rapture"

Nina Thomas from "Dead Cert"

Carol White, vidcaps from "Nutcracker".

Comments By Schmutzfink: I have to warn you first. These are the ugliest women I have ever sent pics of. They are my pics of women from Great Britain, where the most beautiful Hollywood actresses came from. But the women of my finds are British, but not so great. These actresses have mostly stayed at home and rely on qualities like talent that are of minor interest here. Although it is the best scene I know of Emily Lloyd.
Blinky's Runway Report
Here is Jasmine Guinness (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)  
Elektra from ECW. Nice thong and cleavage 'caps

Amy Dumas "Lita" getting her top ripped off, but not showing us the goods, from WWF Raw

Trish Stratus. 'Caps from WWF Backlash

Kim Catrall (1, 2)

Valentina Cervi (1, 2)

Lots of thong and But action with Kim from "Live Nude Girls"

Valentina in 'caps from "Rien sur Robert". I haven't seen this, but I really enjoyed the viewer comments in the IMDb:
"Summary: Worst you can expect from French cinema
I don't even want to waste my time describing how bad this movies is. Avoid it at all cost, you'll thank me. But anyway, here goes: A very good example of French movie crap. Plotless, pointless, depressing, just plainly bad. A waste of talent, time and money."

Tea Leoni (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) No nudity, most leg and head shots...But still great 'caps of the very sexy Mrs. Duchovny from her break through role in "Bad Boys".
and ...
Georgina Cooper See-thru nipple peek on the runway.
Emma Sjoberg On the runway with see-thru views above and even a little below the equator.
SÚverine Caneele For the Euro Scoopy fans....Vidcaps with a clear beaver shot from "L'HumanitÚ"
Dominique Blanc Topless 'caps from the French movie "Milou en mai"
The Funnies
From a viewer that wanted to share...this one is called "Man's Greatest Fear". Actual Newspaper Headlines
  • 1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
  • 2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
  • 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  • 4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
  • 5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  • 6. Farmer Bill Dies In House
  • 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  • 8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
  • 9. Stud Tires Out
  • 10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
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    "Love, Etc", from Tuna

    Tuna's comments: "This is a lovely little French film. Charlotte Gainsbourg is superb as a woman who meets a man through a personals ad, falls in love, and marries him. Problem is his best friend, who can't believe his unsophisticated buddy managed to meet and pursue a woman that interesting and attractive. The best friend makes a play for Marie (Gainsbourg) and a very poignant set of problems ensue."

    thumbnails Gainsbourg (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Tuna's comments on yesterday's cinema classic: "The Dirty Seven is a terrible film, and a terrible DVD transfer (looks like they digitized a second generation VHS) about a group of mercenaries who go on a rampage of rape and murder. The sister of one of their victims gets revenge. The location (Cyprus) is not very photogenic, and the acting (especialy the drunk/rape/murder scenes) is over the top."


    "The King of Marvin Gardens", from Johnny Web

    This one has been largely forgotten, despite the presence of Jack Nicholson. This was a re-teaming of the group from "Five Easy Pieces", and you will easily spot the similarities in tone. Jack Nicholson is a late-night radio monologist, spinning heart-warming material for insomniacs, laboring for a bit above minimum wage. His brother (Bruce Dern) is a dreamer, a very low level mob guy who dreams of opening up a casino and resort on his own island in Hawaii. The shy and scholarly Nicholson somehow gets enmeshed in his brother's web.

    Spectacularly photographed movie. Cinematographer Laszlo Kovacs did such respected films as "New York, New York", "Frances", "Mask", and "Ghostbusters", and he did a great job at evoking the lost glory, decadence, emptiness, and desperation of pre-gambling Atlantic City in the wintertime. For you foreigners, Atlantic City has had a great renaissance in the past two decades, and was a great resort in the 1920's and 30's. However, from the end of the war until the legalization of gambling, it just kept getting seedier and more run-down. If for no other reason, you should see this movie just to see the marvelous evocation of that epoch of decay. The best view of the city comes in a sweeping panorama when Dern and Nicholson hold a standing conversation in a closed sky ride, a scene which serves as a tribute to the genius of the classic film, The Third Man.

    Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the movie is that Nicholson and Dern switched roles just before shooting started, and Nicholson got to play the soft-spoken nerd instead of the high rolling dreamer. Although he did OK in the role, there are times when you really wish he would show some of his usual spark.

    The Dern character lives with two women, a stepmother/stepdaughter who are essentially classy hookers. In the original script, Nicholson was supposed to end up with the stepdaughter, beautiful screen newcomer Julia Ann Robinson. (The imdb lists her as "Julie Anne" Robinson). As the filming progressed, everyone realized that there was no chemistry at all between Nicholson and Robinson, and the screenwriter kept reducing the significance of her role. She did have a couple of scenes that were pretty stiff and rough around the edges, but she was so ethereally gorgeous that I didn't pay that much attention to it. I guess she pissed off the wrong guy, because she never worked in another movie in her lifetime, so her entire career consists of a starring role opposite Jack Nicholson! She disappeared without a trace, and some years later died in a tragic fire. She sure looked great with her top off in that squirt gun scene.

    The other nudity featured the very ample chest of 40 year old Ellen Burstyn. Of course, there really aren't any nudes of Burstyn as a young woman. Burstyn, who won one Oscar and was nominated for four others, never made a movie at all until she was 37. She worked as a model, and then as one of the high-kicking Rockette-cum-Busby-Berkley hoofers called the June Taylor Dancers. You probably remember them from the famous overhead cam shots on the old Jackie Gleason variety programs. She then worked as a stage actress for a decade or so, with an occasional TV guest appearance until she caught a break and Bogdanovich cast her in The Last Picture Show. She's nearly 70 now, but still working steadily.

    Although I liked the film, I don't especially recommend it except for the marvelous visuals. It is a noble effort at creating a big-budget American movie in the European fashion, concentrating on character development rather than action. If you're really a film buff, you'll have to rent the DVD because it is a marvelous transfer of Kovacs' work. If your tastes are more mainstream, you'll find it talky and disjointed. The relationship of certain scenes to the main plot development is very unclear, some are just pure atmosphere, and the scenes jump from one to another without clear transitions, so you have to fill in a lot with your imagination. Still, I enjoyed the total package, and consider it somewhere between a highly-flawed masterpiece and a noble failure, both of which are OK by me. Ellen Burstyn (1, 2) "Julia Ann" or "Julie Anne" Robinson (1, 2)

    "Swann in Love", from GR

    Another movie with that wacky comic genius, Jeremy Irons.

    This is a multi-lingual Volker Schloendorff (The Tin Drum) film of part of Proust's ponderous masterpiece "Remembrance of Things Past". It takes place, of course, in fin de siecle Paris, where Big Jer is a mover and shaker and the usual phony-baloney Count or something. He runs into a bit of a problem when he falls in love with a low-born courtesan and has to choose between his wealthy and powerful place in society or his beloved slut. Unfortunately, a wrong choice could result in neither because the love interest doesn't seem to love him back, and continues her promiscuous ways. This results in plenty of opportunities for society to ridicule him, and for Irons to deliver many anguished facial expressions, as is his wont.

    The movie is currently unavailable. I would love to see it on DVD if for no other reasons than (1) the cinematographer is my favorite, Sven Nykvist (2) one of the things he gets to photograph is the magnificent Ornella Muti

    Ornella Muti

    Bimbos and rants from Stone Cold

    Yo, Scoop. Here's da goods from the latest issue of Dead Women, which must be what Femme Fatales mean in English, even though I don't parlez no French, since I'm not planning to visit any of the brothers in Haiti soon, or listen to any songs from Johnny Depp suga.

    Most of this she-it about something called Zorrita, which is like Zorro with tits. Zorro lady be wearin that cape, but no shirt under there, so them guns flop out for our viewing enjoyment. I gotta think that them big floppy plastic guns ain't so good for swordplay, since they make a pretty easy target for doing any of that Errol Flynn she-it. On the other hand, they useful for the love sword.

    Kinda hard for me to relate. You don't see many swordfightin brothas. Walkin down the streets, I see brothas with lotta different protection, but never with a sword. Of course, a sword kinda hard to conceal in the first place. I mean you can't really hide the fact that you packin an epee. Second, sword action require some fancy rappin in a different rhythm, hear me? Kinda rare to hear one of the bros say "en garde, foul blackguard" or any of that mofo'n Basil Rathbone shit. Now if I was gonna get a sword, it won't be one of them little needledick fencing swords like the crackas use at the mofo'n Sorbonne. It be one big fat mofo like Conan use to kill them snake gods an shit. If you carry around some mofo'n phallic symbol, you got to have one that symbolize you proper. Maybe if you get in a duel with some monocle-wearin' mofo visiting from Heidelberg, he kill your ass with his precision strokes, but at least you die with a big dick.

    Shauna O'Brien in Zorrita Shauna in public, with the weapons unconcealed Shauna in full Zorrita uniform Kara Styler's behind Kara Styler's guns, covered some by her hands, but still plenty left to look at Venessa Blair in see-through lingerie Venessa Blair in the Zorrita uniform Dani Leon Laurie Wallace at the grave of Edgar Allen Poe

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