The Slaughter


"A female demon hell-bent for revenge"

Getting your female demons bent by hell is so predictable, and so overpriced. It's like getting your car repairs done at an authorized dealership. Lucifer is like Mr. Badwench. Personally, I get all of my female demons bent by a local chop shop over in the warehouse district. OK, sometimes Manuel doesn't use genuine parts, but he does the job just as well as Satan, and at half the price.

You may have noticed that I've given up on reviewing crappy genre movies unless they are hot off the presses. This might lead you to ask why I'm looking at the previous work of a director who has three more recent films to ridicule. Fair enough. The reason is that it's from the writer/director of Zombie Strippers, which I watched last week. While I didn't find Zombie Strippers to be a classic of either gorotica or horror/comedy, I was impressed by its high energy level and its unabashedly depraved sense of humor, so I wondered whether those characteristics had been prominent in the auteur's previous offerings, and I picked up a used copy of The Slaughter for five bucks from Amazon Marketplace.

The answer to my question about his previous efforts, at least as it relates to The Slaughter is "yes and no." The Slaughter is an odd one. For about the first half of the film the script seems to be taking itself seriously, which is to say you may find it funny, but you will not know whether it was meant to be. If the author's tongue was in his cheek, he never cracked a smile to let us in on the joke. In the beginning it seems like one of those films which is funny only in the sense that the MST 3000 guys would have a ball making fun of it, although they probably would have to find a new network to do so, since the first three minutes of the film consists of non-stop female nudity. But then, about halfway through the film, there is an abrupt tone shift, and the film becomes deliberately jokey, silly and self-referential, indicating that it is not a bad rip-off of Evil Dead and Night of the Demons, but rather a comic riff on those films. The experience of watching this film is like watching 40 minutes of Manos, the Hands of Fate followed by 40 minutes of Scream. Is it a laughably bad horror movie or a movie which winks at you as it laughs at bad horror movies? Depends on which half you watch.

Of course, after I watched the second half, I realized that the first half must also have been intended as genre spoofery, but it had kept a straight face about the satire until later in the film, when it finally decided to nudge my arm and say, "Just kidding, dude."

Lots of bad horror films begin with a prologue situated in the past, so this one begins with two such prefatory scenes. It begins around the year 1900, when a witches' coven gets nekkid to summon a nekkid female demon.  Then, some sixty years later, the unleashed demon forces a mother to kill her young daughter in a gothic mansion. The present-day story begins when a sleazy real estate agent hires a group of entrepreneurial college students to clean up the same mansion, which has been now neglected for forty years. The annoying student stereotypes take on the roles that The Bowery Boys or Abbott and Costello would have occupied in the horror comedies of yore, the everyday losers who are still arguing about mundane matters despite being in the presence of ancient evil. As they start housecleaning, the kids stumble upon an ancient book of magic, and one of the clueless twerps soon starts reading aloud from the book. Bad idea, as you might imagine.

Of course the one horror movie rule more important than "don't read aloud from the book made of human flesh" is "the kids who have sex die first," so you can guess what will happen next, what the consequences will be, and that the house's resident demons must be somehow related to the twin prologues.

You've probably realized by now that I can't really rip on the film for making the kids annoying and stereotypical, because that's all part of the joke. In that sense, the film is virtually immune to criticism since the author has intentionally created trite characters and situations to lampoon the genre. If you ridicule his material, well, dammit, you just don't get the joke. I'm pretty sure I got the joke, and I did laugh once in a while, but I don't think the film was entertaining enough to sustain it at feature length.

Film clips:

  • Adraina Esquivel and others. Adriana gets totally naked as the female demon. The topless witches are: Elana Blank, Jessica Elder, Ellyn Daniels, Jessica Harbeck, Kristen Karvouni, Jennifer Salvucci, Tiffany Tejeda, Sasha Yates, Tiffany Hayden and (surprisingly enough) Judi Dench. OK, I'm kidding about Dench. As for the witches, I have no idea which witch is which.



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








The Sister of Ursula



Two sisters check into a beach-side hotel. People start dying, screwed to death by a giant dildo. One of the sisters, Ursula, has premonitions, and is clearly not quite right mentally. She always sees and talks to her dead father. Also, there seems to be drug dealing at the hotel. We are supposed to wonder who the murderer is, and whether the murders are related to the drugs.

The Sister of Ursula is a giallo from first time writer/director Enzo Milioni. It was based on an old mystery novel, hence is a true giallo, but was released near the end of that genre's heyday, hence the inclusion of occult aspects. As is the case so often with gialli, the story is a little muddled, but there is plenty of nudity, the photography is lovely, and some of the oral sex seems very close to the real thing.

  • Region 0
  • Italian Dolby Stereo
  • Optional English Subtitles
  • 1.85:1 Widescreen
  • Trailer
  • The Father Of Ursula - Featurette with Director Enzo Milioni


Anna Zimmerman 4


Antiniska Nemour 21


Barbara Magnolfi 4


Stefania D'Amario 57


Yvonne Harlow 25


Unknown 1 17


Unknown 2 25










Pretty Woman


Julia Roberts

(film clips)








Zombie Strippers


Another look at "Zombie Strippers!" but without the scenes after the girls turn into zombies. Yuk !


Jenna Jameson shows it all working the pole.



Shamron Moore also gives it all up on stage.



"Tiny Tots" only from Roxy Saint.









Notes and collages

"Two and a Half Men"

Jenny McCarthy, s5, e16









I will be submitting several clips from a 90's Italian show called Tutti Frutti. Barest of plots, in the most literal sense of that adjective. Gal comes out, gal wiggles around, gal strips down to her panties and wiggles around some more. What a concept! You would think with all the thievery committed by Hollywood in ripping off European shows someone would have thought to steal this one, too.  But no. Anyway, you will recognize a couple of women in these clips - Tracy Dali at the beginning of an episode, two clips of Sandra Wild and two of a European nude model and sometime actress, Petra Vieten.

Today's clip(s): Sandra Wild








Into the Wild


Into the Wild is a beautiful movie: beautiful scenery, a poignant story, and beautiful acting, wrapped up in a great package by director Sean Penn. It also is based on a true story of an amazing but troubled young man.

Fed up with the constant bickering and manipulation by his parents after years of family dysfunction, Christopher McCandless graduates in 1992 from Emory University where he was a top student and athlete. Chris walks away from all his possessions and his family, giving his entire $24,000 savings to charity.

Chris hitchhikes to Alaska to live in the wilderness, and along the way, meets a series of people who shape his life just as he changes theirs. And even in leaving, Chris has a profound effect on his family, in a most positive way.

An absolutely excellent movie, a treat for both the eyes and the mind, and one I'd advise you must see.

Signe Egholm Olsen Nudists






Silent Madness


Horror shot in 3-D but the current cut on region 2 DVD is heavily edited.

April Daisy White: topless

Belinda Montgomery: sexy

Paige Price: brassiere

Tori Hartman: crotch shot in leotards

unknown: topless





Sleazy rape exploitation.

April Daisy White: full frontal showing more than her daisy whites.

Elizabeth Kaitan: full frontal.

Juliet Graham: sexy.

Samantha Fox: topless skinny-dipping and having lesbian sex with Juliet Graham.

unknown skinnidippers: full frontal





Slasher from the makers of Samhain and the Recon straight-to-DVDs. Very little nudity with the exception of a no-name stripper hired at the last minute and an accidental nipslip by a stuntbabe.

Heidi Hawkins: sexy

Tisha Svetlana: nipple slip

stripper: topless



American Pie Presents: Naked Mile

 (2006, R-rated vs unrated comparison)

The nude shower babe was given a pair of mismatching bra and panties and the full frontal nude runners were cropped.

Canadian hefmag models Michelle Suppa and Pamela Mars, who would later be in Beta House, have been spotted.

Michelle Suppa

Pamela Mars









Christina Aguilera, naked and pregnant in Marie Claire

More crazy pics of Eva Mendes from Vogue Italia

Tara Reid on Miami Beach: nice rear view

Tomiko Martinez as a victim on Dexter

Missy Pyle in American Crude

Jennifer Lopez in the full-screen version of The Money Train

These higher-definition caps of Mila Kinis in Boot Camp are disappointing. They show that her breasts have either been covered with a patch, or digitally blurred. Perhaps both.

Finally, several woman from Perfume: Story of a Murderer

Jessica Schwarz

Karoline Herfurth

Rachel Hurd

Sara Forestier



Film Clips

Susan George in The House Where Evil Dwells. Well, Evil did dwell there back in the 80s, but it moved out when Dick Cheney bought the place. Even pure, unadulterated Evil has some standards.

Keeley Hawes in Karaoke, a rarely seen 1996 miniseries from BBC. I've never seen this clip before.

Hillary Duff in War Inc. The bad news: very big download, no nudity. The good news: it's still worth watching. It's very sexy stuff, and The Duffer is now quite a big star in both the film and music worlds, although she has not yet turned 21. She's also very easy on the eyes.