Sexophrenia (1970) pushes the soft core envelope to the limits, including male and female full frontal, gyno shots, and genital fondling. The plot, such as it is, is as follows. A guy is trying to seduce his fiancee. She escapes to the ladies room, he puts Spanish Fly in her wine. The who of them have wild sex, then he brings in another woman for a three way. Still not satisfied, he invites another couple over for a little swap. The fiancee is played by Jane Tsentas, the girl in the three way by Cindy Hopkins, and I was unable to identify the third woman. IMDb claims Rene Bond, but it is neither her head nor her body. IMDb also has the plot summary completely wrong.
Perhaps the most interesting thing about this film is the sound track, which consists of elevator music arrangements of such songs as Lazy Bones, Cielito Lindo, Greenleaves of Summer, Theme from a Summer Place, Up a Lazy River and Blackbird. Paying for use of any of these tunes would certainly have cost more than their entire budget. All three women show everything, including gyno views. The genre is plotless soft core, and this one touches all the bases, making it a C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
This may be a first. I'm talking about three movies today, and I
liked them all to one degree or another.
The Jacket (2005):
Pictures yesterday. Here are my all-too-lengthy comments. I liked
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004):
I love The Life Aquatic. This is a terrific movie on its own
terms, but I need to tell you what it is not, because the marketing campaign
was quite misleading. The sample clips on the internet consist of three or four scenes
which are quirky-funny in a deadpan way. You'll watch those and get
the wrong idea. There are some very funny things in the film,
but it ain't filled with yuks, and it ain't filled with gentle
So if it isn't a comedy, you're
thinking, what is it?
I didn't say it isn't a comedy. Maybe it is. There
are a lot of funny moments. But if is a comedy, it certainly is a
tragic one. And if it is a tragedy, it certainly is a funny one. In
short, it's a comedy about sadness, about the death of loved ones,
about violence, about forgiveness, about losing what we once were
and the dreams we once followed. Those things, as a rule, are not
funny matters unless they are addressed by Mel Brooks, but this is
not a balls-to-the-wall, soft hearted, "anything for a laugh"
Brooksian comedy. Not even close. This is a peculiar and sometimes
grotesque movie which finds humor in tragedy. Imagine Hamlet turned
into a dark comedy and told from the POV of Hamlet's father's ghost,
and you'll start to get the idea.
The basic storyline is simple. It seems to be the tail end of a
declining career for marine researcher and filmmaker Steve Zissou
and the crew of the Belafonte. (Get it? Their version of
the Calypso is a Calypso singer). The last adventure for the legendary team will
be to track down and destroy the gigantic and unknown form of shark
that ate Zissou's best friend. What would be the scientific purpose
of destroying a one-of-a-kind-creature, he is asked.
The Life Aquatic derives its underlying tone from a
bittersweet sense of the odd - treating extraordinary occurrences
with an odd mix of understated wonderment and blasť acceptance. A
long-lost son? Unimaginable sea creatures? A giant jaguar shark? A
boatload of pirates? Pillaging the lab or a competing oceanographer?
All in a day's work for Team Zissou, the Bizarro-world version of
Team Cousteau. Not only is the film odd, but it is odd in an odd way
- almost totally lacking in energy.
Several of the key actors (especially Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, and
Anjelica Huston) deliver lines in a laid-back,
world-weary way that makes it seem like they are sleepwalking.
Pointing that out is not criticism on my part, just reporting, or
possibly even praise, because the
blasť tone is a calculated symphony, and the actors' voices are
additional instruments in the orchestra. It seems to work just fine.
Of course, you should not expect a Wes Anderson film
to pick a single course and stick to it, any more than you should
expect the same from Steve Zissou's Belafonte. During the course of
the story, the film plays mind games with the audience by making
radical and unexpected turns. It's a comedy. Wait, now I'm watching
a thriller. Wait, it's a tragedy. The pirate attack on the Belafonte is a good example. That episode is not played out the way Mel
Brooks might do it, by comical corsairs who pull off an operation in
such a way that we know nobody will be hurt for real. Not at all.
These are real pirates, violent and heavily armed men with nothing
to lose. When the Zissou crew is being tied up and threatened, the film switches
into the mode of a legitimate thriller, and we
fear for the lives of our main characters, as we do in many
incidents throughout the movie. Indeed, in the course of the film,
Zissou (Bill Murray) loses his best friend and his son.
Well, maybe it's his son. Or not.
What can ya say? The Life Aquatic is truly original. Originality is the ultimate hallmark of
genius, the one thing that separates true geniuses from highly
competent mortals. Steven Spielberg, for example, is a highly
competent director, arguably the greatest ever, but no genius. He blazes no new trails. He
simply does things much BETTER than others have done them before.
Writer/director Wes Anderson, on the other hand, is a genius. He does things others
would never think of. In a world of syncopation, sequels, and
copycats, Wes marches to ... I was going to say "to a different drummer",
and the drummer part may be right, but Wes doesn't march.
When the band is playing Sousa, Wes is waltzing to
I think that's a good thing. It may produce good or
bad results, but the instinct itself is good. We need these loopy,
The Life Aquatic will be one of those film
experiences where you'll walk out of the theater unsure whether you
liked it. As we say in Texas, the film takes some gettin' used to.
In spite of that, it's absolutely worth a watch for those of you who
are sick of the usual recycled tripe. Despite the low energy level, and a very slow build, and
despite the fact that it the film is ostensibly a
comedy, the story even manages to pack a
surprisingly strong emotional punch. You won't expect it at all. It's one of those sucker punches that just
sneaks up on you when you aren't looking, and doesn't tell you it's
coming - like the punches thrown by Steve Zissou himself.
- Robyn Cohen. (1,
She is topless in four different scenes in the
- and one more of Robyn Cohen in the deleted scenes!
The Last Shot (2004):
Here is Tuna's summary of the film:
Last Shot (2004) is a comedy based on the true story of an FBI sting
operation in which the Feds pretended to be making a movie in order
to incriminate some mob officials.
The bogus film scheme is concocted by an FBI agent
(Alec Baldwin) who has been relegated to assignments leading nowhere
in minor field offices. He realizes that by posing as a producer
with union problems, he can trap some mobsters into accepting a
bribe to "persuade" the union to co-operate, thus committing illegal
racketeering. The agency approves his idea but he knows nothing
about making a movie, so he travels to Hollywood for consulting
advice, and discovers that he will need a script. As luck would have
it, he discovers the perfect sucker in an aspiring writer (Matthew
Broderick), a naive dreamer who is 40ish but still clinging to his
show business aspirations by working as a ticket taker at Grauman's
Chinese theater. Broderick has written a script called "Arizona"
about a woman who is battling cancer and seeking the holy grounds of
the Hopi Indians deep within the Grand Canyon. The writer is
thrilled that anyone wants his script, and even more thrilled that
the "backers" also want him to direct! In fact, he is so thrilled
that he offers only minimal resistance when Baldwin tells him that
they have to film in Rhode Island, "the Arizona of the East."
Toni Collette plays an actress who had a drug
problem after her Academy Award nomination, was blackballed, and did
a little porn, but is now clean and wants in the movie badly. Her
performance is one of the many highlights of the funniest new film I
have seen in a very long time. I do not want to spoil any of the
jokes by revealing more of the plot. I have to believe this film
could have done well if promoted properly, but it could be that
understanding the humor requires more knowledge of filmmaking than
the typical mall audience has.
The only disappointment for me was that it was
over so quickly.
Here are my own thoughts:
"Dear Dad. A funny thing happened to me on my way to a hit movie ...
Last summer I saw several comedies in commercial theaters and it seemed
to me that almost
every film came with a trailer for The Last Shot. It seemed to me
that they were building this up as the big comedy hit of the Autumn.
The next time I heard anything significant about it, it was being
released to DVD this week. In between those two periods, the
distributor snuck it into a mere 35 theaters in the entire United
The ironic upshot of the situation was that the director of The Last
Shot had an experience similar to that of the director character in
his film - a lot of excitement about making his first movie,
followed by a lot of disappointment. I guess he did better than the
character. At least he got to make the entire film, and it's not bad
at all, although I didn't share Tuna's unrestricted enthusiasm. I
liked it, but I didn't love it, presumably because I have seen
umpteen comedies about the film-making process. The actual making of
the film takes up a lot of running time, and is basically a
recycling of material seen elsewhere. I'm tired of films about
making films, and I didn't see any new ideas here.
The FBI portion of the story, however, is original and excellent,
made even juicier by the fact that the core of the story is
essentially true. Jeff Nathanson, author of the highly praised Catch
Me If You Can, made his directorial debut here, using his own
screenplay for The Last Shot, which was inspired by "What's Wrong
With This Picture?", an article in the February 1996 issue of
Details magazine. In real life, the FBI actually duped a pair of
screenwriters named Dan Lewk and Gary Levy into thinking they would
make a movie.
"This is much more of a true story than people realize. The
FBI really did do this. The FBI really went to Providence, Rhode
Island, with a script that was supposed to be about a road trip
through Arizona. The first thing that caught my attention was
that they really thought they could nail mobsters by making a
movie. And I had lived the Matthew Broderick part, a frustrated
wannabe in Los Angeles, for many years. So I had two things I
really liked, and I put them together.
Not only did these guys (Lewk and Levy) think they had it
made in Hollywood, they thought they were going to direct other
movies. They started scouting locations. They started casting.
They had a famous actress who was there, trying to get into
their movie. They had production offices. They were building
sets. They were doing the whole thing. In fact, they were going
to do three movies, all over the country. And then, of course,
they had their dreams shattered.
The FBI agents involved saw it as just another sting
operation, and one that happened to fail. They still thought it
was a good idea, even though they didn't nail anyone. They never
got the movie made, and they never convicted anyone. One mobster
died awaiting trial and the other, I think, got off. In the end,
our taxpayer dollars went for naught."
For me, the greatest pleasure of the DVD came not in the film
itself, but in a very edgy special feature. When the FBI agent
pulled the plug on the bogus film, he simply told the two filmmakers
that the investors had backed out. He never informed them that
nobody ever intended to make their film, and that the entire project
was part of an FBI sting. They did not become aware of it until much
later when they were surprised to see the the whole story, including
their own names, in a law enforcement article in the newspaper. They
never again saw the FBI agent who had duped them into thinking he
was a producer ...
... until now.
The director of The Last Shot arranged for the FBI man and the two
aspiring auteurs to meet again after all these years, and they
talked it all through. They were all encouraged to speak freely, and
the G-man was allowed to speak candidly and on the record. They were
all polite, but the two suckers were obviously still pissed off. Now
THAT was some impressive theater, and a great addition to the
already excellent DVD package.
As for the film, it has lots of pleasures. Broderick and Baldwin are
excellent in roles tailor-made for them. (Baldwin is even from Rhode
Island!) There are some great performances in small roles. Tuna
mentioned Toni Collette, but the one that cracked me up was Joan
Cusack as a foul-mouthed producer. There are also some funny cameos
from such Hollywood stalwarts as Eric Roberts (naked!) and Mr. Myagi
(thankfully not naked!).
Bottom line: Tuna loved the movie; I was not as enthusiastic about
the movie, but loved the DVD features. Either way, we got a lot of
pleasure from this package.
HOOKED! (1966 Comic Book)
- Reach out and touch someone - of the opposite sex, please.United
American Technologies, a 'Christian-based phone carrier' based in
Oklahoma, uses an anti-gay sales pitch. The company
describes itself as "the only carrier that is taking an active
stand against same sex marriages and hardcore child pornography."
Their telemarketers verify that "MCI basically has a child
pornography ring." And don't get me started on "Gay T&T."
AFI's 100 YEARS OF FILM SCORES. The sidebar also offers
many other lists, like 100 years of movie quotes.
Paula Abdul wasn't happy with the whole SNL experience
Roger Ebert remembers the highlights of 30 years at Cannes.
Great anecdotes, including one whch begins, "There is always the
possibility of a riot whenever Jerry Lewis comes to Cannes ..."
Cracking the Google Code:: "Here's how Google scores
your web pages."
An interview with Bram Cohen, creator of BitTorrent
- Thinking of buying a hybrid car? Oh, you are so Tim Robbins.
Anyway, here is the first reliable
Mileage Database for Hybrid Electric Vehicles & Cars.
So what does Kenny Chesney (Renee Zellweger's new husband) look
like without his cowboy hat? Well - to tell you the
truth, he looks exactly like my accountant, except without the
First look at Natalie Portman witha shaved head. (First
paragraph. Click on the word "better")
Man has now brought home a souvenir baseball from 388 consecutive
major league games.
German man tows stranded Polish motorist - at 160km/h .
The Polish guy was a little scared, but also proud to have set the
Polish land speed record.
Coach Mike Nolan recently petitioned the NFL to allow him to wear
a suit on the sidelines during game days. The league
turned Nolan down. Head coaches must wear the NFL-sanctioned team
garb, and must be groomed with the NFL-sanctioned Republican
32-Year-Old Man Conducts His Own Personal Panty Raid.
- According to the story, one of the crimes he was charged
with was "theft by unlawful taking." His lawyer plea-bargained
that down from "theft by lawful taking," which carries a
lifetime sentence in Pennsylvania.
- I love that phrase - not only the redundancy, but also the
old-fashioned frosty mug taste of it. "And thy client, brother
Samuel, be charged with growing a beard before marriage, theft
by unlawful taking, and the possession of butter by unlawful
churning. I ask unto thee, how pleadeth he?"
A new clip from the ensemble drama, Crash
The trailer and two clips from Brothers.
- "The lives of two very different brothers become
simultaneously intertwined and thrust apart in this intense and
powerful Scandinavian drama directed by Susanne Bier."
- Oh, those clips! And you thought "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
The trailer for the L.A. streetdancin' documentary, Rize
- The cast list sums this up so much more eloquently than I
possibly could: "Tommy the Clown, Lil Tommy, Mountain Do, Larry,
Lil C, Suga Kane, Dragon, Dokta No, Tight Eyez, Baby Tight Eyez,
Kermit Z, Miss Prissy, Swoop, Masta Rasta, El Nino, La Nina,
Daisy, Lil Abna, Big X, lil x, Quinesha"
- OK, I admit I made some of those up. Can you guess which
- I didn't make up "Larry." Larry? Just plain "Larry?" How did
he get in there? Some cracker wandered in from Kentucky an'
started freaky streetdancin'?
- The Daily Show:
Bush and Putin's relations have cooled of late, but it's nothing a
little "together time" can't fix.
Swiss wrap glacier to slow ice melt
'Louie, Louie' gets the go-ahead. McCord Middle
School's marching band got new marching orders Thursday. They will
be able to play the song, "Louie, Louie" during the Blossomtime
Festival's Grand Floral Parade Saturday. Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!
- This week's movies - very limited release -
Layer Cake: 81% positive reviews. This one is
specifically targeted at fans of "Snatch" and "Lock, Stock and Two
- This week's movies - 1000 screens -
Mindhunters -62% positive reviews. A throwaway release
for a popcorn movie delayed two years.
- This week's movies - 1800 screens -
Unleashed: 50% positive reviews. Written by Luc Besson,
starring Jet Li, so you know there will be stylized violence, my
- This week's movies - 3000+ screens -
Monster-in-Law - 20% good reviews.Let's sample these,
- "The experience of viewing this movie represents a one-way
ticket into tedium and a forced 90-minute imprisonment with
Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, both of whom give performances
that can charitably be called cringe-inducing."
- "A deeply dispiriting movie, not just because it is
grindingly bad but because Jane Fonda actually chose this for
her comeback after a 15-year absence from the screen."
- "...Jane Fonda probably should have stayed retired (the
actress emerged from a 15-year sabbatical for this?)"
- ... And you should see the negative reviews.
- This week's movies - 3000+ theaters -
Kicking and Screaming -100% positive reviews, but only three
reviews published. "Will Ferrell is one funny guy."
That he is, but the movie appears to be almost identical to Little
Giants. We'll see.
The Weekend Warrior's predictions for the weekend. He's
making it "too close to call" between the two 3000 theater
releases, Kicking and Screaming (Will Ferrell) and Monster-in-Law
(J-Lo and J-Fo). Jet Li's Unleashed is expected to finish a
respectable fourth, despite being in only 1800 theaters, and
Mindhunters (1000 theaters) will likely be chugging into tenth.
Given four new releases, House of Wax is expected to die a painful
'Monty Python's Spamalot' Receives 14 Tony Nominations
Cate hates botox.
Cate Blanchett has slammed other actresses for using botox. She
says it makes her sad that so many young girls feel the need use
Botox to stay looking young. I agree. Plastic surgery is so much
David Schwimmer: master thespian and ladies man.
Asian/Pacific Heritage Month 2005: President's Proclamation
Professing Respect for America's Exotic and Peculiar Subculture of
Chinese-Flavored Peoples - WHITEHOUSE.ORG
May 9th (yesterday) was Orgasm Day in Brazil, and today
is Cigarette Day. By a weird coincidence, Texas celebrates Ocho de
Mayo as Fake Orgasm Day.
Letterman's "Top Ten Tips For Winning The Kentucky Derby Presented
By The Winning Jockey From The 131st Kentucky Derby, Mike Smith"
Borowitz: "RUMSFELD UPGRADES IRAQ FROM QUAGMIRE TO MORASS"
Various meditations on the meaning of Bai Ling's tat
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Scoop came up with a good idea for our next poll that should stir up some conversation, if not some controversy.
This week's poll....
Email Scoopy Jr. if you'd like to add nominees or offer suggestions for future polls.
Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
A nice bit of variety today from The Ghost...
First up, mid-late 90's babe Athena Massey showin off her robo-boobs in several scenes, plus a bit of pubes as well ('caps 5 and 13, video clip #5)
- Athena Massey
- Athena Massey
Next up, a few video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the Rob Lowe/James Spader movie "Bad Influence" (1990). The director of this movie later went on to make a movie or two that you may have heard of, like "L.A. Confidential" and "8 Mile".
A few more odds n' ends.
- Here is beautiful, former Bond Babe ("Never Say Never Again") Barbara Carrera topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from "Embryo" (1976) (zipped .wmvs).
- The co-star of "Fight Club", "Big Fish" and the upcoming "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", Helena Bonham Carter. Here she is briefly showing a bit of breast and bum in a love scene from "Till Human Voices Wake Us" (2002).
- Susanne Benton bares all in scenes from the 1975 sci-fi flick "A Boy and His Dog" (1975).
- Linda Dona takes off her dress to reveal breasts and bum in a scene from the 1991 Denzel Washington movie, "Ricochet".
'Caps and comments by Dann:
In the spirit of giving you more for your money, this British 2003 effort is a horror/thriller that also threw in a lover's triangle just to make things interesting.
A struggling young artist Daniel is invited by his childhood friend Natasha to return to the village where they grew up, and stay in a house she has recently acquired. He happily accepts, bringing not only his painting materials but also his finance, Laura.
As Daniel leaves Laura in the house to catch up on old times with Natasha, Laura finds the house spooky, unexplainably cold, and full of scary noises. In addition, she's majorly pissed about Daniel spending a lot of time with Natasha without her around.
While all this plays out, Daniel hears local legends about a demon that lives in the sea just off of the house preying on people who have hidden guilt about past events. Naturally, Daniel does.
Typically British, this is a low-key horror flick that is not at all bad to watch, with blood and gore (although present) kept to a minimum. The last minute of the movie will provide the shocker for most people.
|Both ladies show see-thru wet t-shirt-ness in scenes from the early David Cronenberg "Shivers" aka "They Came from Within". 'Caps by DeVo.
|Señor Skin takes a look at the 1990 direct-to-vid flick "The Haunting of Morella". The late Lana Clarkson is topless in the tub and gets wet in another scene as well. Magazine publisher and former Page 3 babe Gail Harris also shows her big'uns, plus a bit of bum.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
Confused PETA Members Walked Out - Over the weekend, dozens of top
sexologists gathered in San Francisco for a conference on "Unstudied,
Understudied and Underserved Sexual Communities." The seminar topics
ranged from autoerotic asphyxiation (or "breath play") and transgender
dating to animal lovers ("zoophiles") and teenagers with underwear
fetishes. One doctor leading a seminar on "specialized" gay sexual
behavior said, "Let me tell you, it was not easy finding these pictures."
It took nearly 20 minutes of searching the Internet.
What cute name do they have for 45-year-old men with fetishes for
Isn't the entire city of San Francisco a study in transgender dating?
If you survive the Autoerotic Asphyxiation seminar, you get an "A."
RAF TRAINS SOLDIER TO POLE DANCE
Best Defense Is A Good Offense - Britain's Ministry of Defense is defending
paying $4,000 (US) to train a former Royal Air Force flier to be a pole
dancer. Stephanie Hulme, 23, completed five years' service, which
qualified her for a program that retrains departing military people for
civilian jobs. She wanted to become a pole dancer, but she was surprised
that it was approved. A Defense spokesman said what they choose to do is
up to them, as long as it's legal. The ex-senior aircraft woman now dances
under the name Kitty at the "For Your Eyes Only" club in Mayfair.
And she makes more money than any other former veteran.
I figured she'd end up at some club called "The Cockpit."
She's the only dancer who knows 35 ways to kill a man with the pole.
It's just like the air force: she goes out on the runway, then takes
ROBERT BLAKE TRANSCRIPTS REVEAL WEIRDNESS
Is It Too Late To Change Our Verdict? - Newly-released jailhouse
transcripts from Robert Blake's murder trial show that he suggested a PR
strategy of getting other '70s TV stars, like Gavin McLeod of "The Love
Boat" and Lindsay "Bionic Woman" Wagner, to rally support for him. He also
told a visitor that people who end up on juries usually have an I.Q. of
about 85, and they "dig" defenses like "if it doesn't fit, you must acquit"
because "they're the people that go bowling."
And who watch a lot of '70s TV shows, which explains their low I.Q.'s.
They obviously weren't swayed by "Don't do the crime if you can't do the
An I.Q. of 85, huh? Well, he can't say he didn't get a jury of his
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