Friday


Notes
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HUGE NEWS!
Can it be? Jennifer Lopez follows Tonya Harding and Pam Anderson with a home made porno? Here are the details.

Tuna
Tuna has the day off today, but will return tomorrow.

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Talkin' baseball. Did you see the latest ruling by baseball's statistical geniuses? Randy Johnson struck out 20 in 9 innings the other night, a record he has been chasing all of his life. But it won't go in the record books. Seems the record is only valid if your team is ahead or behind after nine innings. If your team is tied, the record is invalid, since it is then technically an extra inning game, not a regulation game. Is that great or what?. Of course he struck out 20 in nine innings, exactly the same as Clemens and Kerry, but it doesn't count. Nyah, nyah. 


I try to go through every new release every week that may have nudity. I skip G and PG movies unless there is some reason why I want to watch the movie. With the rest of the films, I rely on the ratings, the reasons for the ratings, and the advance info sites like cndb and screen-it. "Unrated" movies are the biggest crapshoot. They may have no nudity at all, or they may be filled with lustful encounters.

I don't have any pics tonight because this week I watched two unrated films that had no nudity at all, and both turned out to be basically two-character stage plays. Wadda world. Wadda world.

"Boesman and Lena"  is a 1970 stage play about two people of mixed race displaced by the South African apartheid policy. On stage, they spent the entire play on a single set representing a muddy riverbank. 

On film, it's a real riverbank.

Whew, I had to catch my breath from all the excitement generated by the realism.

Godot does eventually show up, but he can't speak English, and dies during the night.

This play is dated. The director was a sickly 82 years old and died right after they wrapped filming. The whole concept was much too artificial to begin with. Danny Glover and Angela Bassett act it out with big voices, big gestures, and big accents, exactly as if they were at Stratford, declaiming to the cheap seats. It is sincere and well-meaning, but just more pavement for the hell-bound Road of Good Intentions. It is EXACTLY like watching a film of a stage play, except the mud is real. I wanted to like it, but couldn't. My review gives some more details of the director's interesting life and his long relationship with this play.

"The Interview"  is actually a very taut little Australian movie about a cop interrogating a suspect. But what is he really suspected of? Is he an innocent guy being brutalized by a Kafkaesque state, or is there more to it than that? Is the cop also being investigated? Who is really manipulating whom? Clever, and eminently watchable for a film that basically involves two men looking at each other over a desk.

This one is NOT like watching a two-character stage play. In fact, the director is very inventive in his use of camera angles and set-ups to maintain the tone he wants in each twist of the plot.

Graphic Response
  • Dina Meyer, topless of course in "Starship Troopers".

  • Kelly McGillis, great exposure as McGillis goes topless and bathes herself in scenes from 1985's "Witness".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

  • Jr's Babe of the Day
    Move over Colleen, there's a new "Survivor" babe in town! Here is my favorite, Elisabeth Filarski, posing in a very small swimsuit from "US" magazine. Thanks to AC for the scan, unfortunately it's not the best quality, but who cares, she's hot!

  • Elisabeth small version (127k)
  • Elisabeth big version (390k)

  • Brainscan
    What say we start with a clowder of French babes?

  • Annais Jeanneret, actress, author and baby-faced nekkid person.

  • Anne Parillaud, who was (if memory serves) the original Femme Nikita; the pic was a mess; scan took forever to clean up.

  • Bambou, a rapidly growing plant favored by Pandas (yes, yes I know that's bamboo but, sheesh, bend a little, will you), or in this case an actress whose given name is Caroline Von Paulus. Or so says IMDB, which credits Ms. Bou (or Bam, as her friends call her) with two movies, one in which she plays herself. Only famous people play themselves in movies, so that first film must have been a real winner. (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Caprice Bourret, as famous for being nekkid as she is for whatever else she's famous for. (1, 2)

  • A quick hop across the Channel brings us to Debbie Boyland, page 3 girl and former SO of that monster talent, Julian Lennon. That's right, Julian Lennon. Imagine, if you could, that Ken Griffey Sr.'s son had looked vaguely like him but had less talent in his whole friggin bod than dad did in his right nut. Would anyone have signed him to play the role of mascot much less to patrol centerfield? Nope. And why not? Cuz baseball is a meritocracy, pure and simple. And music? Hah! All the data you need on that matter is two words: Julian Lennon. (1, 2, 3)

  • Then there is Hoara Borselli. Who? Don't know and don't care because she has an A number 1, first rate, el primo killer arse.

  • Linda Brava is said to be a concert musician of some sort or another. Posed for the Hefmag a while back. This scan is from GQ, UK variety.

  • And we end where we started, with zee French babes. Marie Gillian and Marlene Jobert. Mea maxima culpa on the Marlene scans: age had turned the pages a most interesting shade and there was nothing I could do to balance it all out.

  • The Snapper
    Greetings from Snapperland,

    More monochrome naked fashion models for you today. The first two are by Paolo Roversi, the Godfather of supermodel nudity: Nathalia (errr, don't know her surname...) and Zora Juranova; followed by an obviously hungry Jenny Shimizu (and friend) photographed by Ellen von Unwerth; and finally the lovely Sophie Anderton by David Bailey.

  • Nathalia: topless pose
  • Zora Juranova: fully nude with breast, and partial bum exposure
  • Jenny Shimizu: hot lesbo lovin'
  • Sophie Anderton: nude pose with side breast exposure and lots o' leg

    A couple of follow-up remarks about recent film reviews....

    "Miss Congeniality":
    This one also got terrible reviews in the UK but I thought it was a really enjoyable film; not 'Schindler's List' certainly, but not meant to be: Sandra Bullock was perfect in the role, as were Caine, Bergen and - aaargh! - Shatner.

    "Bridget Jones":
    A towering performance by Renee Zellweger, well supported by Colin Firth and my old schoolmate Hughie Grant. Poor old Renee, it was a true de Niro effort, but no-one will ever remember it: as a Brit who works in the same media, publishing world that this was meant to represent, she did a near phoneme perfect accent. But mainly I want to highlight the fact that Bridget Jones' Diary contains the first mainstream heterosexual anal sex gags (pillow talk scene between Grant and Zellweger) in a major theatrical release. I demand a special achievement Oscar!

  • Zenguru
    The king of the runway collages has been fighting the time clock lately, but returns today with 9 new images of hot supermodels.

  • Fernanda Tavares, wearing a very nice see-thru top with nipples in sight.
  • Frankie Rayder, she might as well not be wearing a top!
  • Bridget Hall, see-thru partial breast exposure.
  • Lida Egorova, a single exposed breast.
  • Kate Moss, a bit of a nip slip.
  • Anouk Lapere, a single breast in plain view.
  • Karolina Korkova, #1 shows a single breast and lot of leg. #2 has less leg, but both breasts are in sight. (1, 2)
  • Ana Claudia Michels, both breasts are visible.

  • Spaz
    The Obscure Canadian actresses series continued:

    Alberta Watson Currently known for her role in the TV series "La Femme Nikita" she has appeared nude in many films. But the pictures circulating around the internet are from her later movies. This topless scene from "In Praise of Older Women" (1978) was done very early in her career.

    Cyndy Preston Cyndy has been in a lot of bad movies, but still somehow manages to keep her clothes on. In the very arty "Whale Music" (1994) she had a lead role as a groupie running around in various stages of (near) undress.

    Helene Udy "Sweet Murder"(1990) has the exact same plotline as "Single White Female" but was made two years earlier in South Africa! Helene Udy plays the shy roommate who turns out to be a nymphomaniac psychopath. All 3 B's can be seen, but anything below the waist may belong to a body double since you don't see her face.

    Lisa Langlois Lisa was topless in "The Man Who Wasn't There" (1983) but showed all her goodies as we see in these 'caps from an earlier movie, "Phobia" (1980).

    Lisa Schrage Lisa getting it on with the Beastmaster, Marc Singer in a rather explicit love scene from "Indigo Autumn" (1987). Clear breast exposure, plus partial views of other B's.

    Pita Oliver Pita is best known for mooning the teacher in "Prom Night" (1980). She showed full frontal goodies (as seen here) that same year in "Double Negative" (aka Deadly Companion). She stopped acting a year afterwards.

    Teri Austin Full frontal nudity on autopsy table covered in movie blood. Scenes from "Terminal Choice" (1985).

    Tracey Cook From "Snake Eater III: His Law" (1992). The last installment of the Lorenzo Lamas "Snake Eater" trilogy. Of course Lorenzo has a love scene with his leading lady, and we get to see her breasts in the dark.

    Venus Terzo Venus is currently known in Canada for her role in the CBC TV Series "Da Vinci's Inquest". She is also the voice of Black Arachnia in the cartoon "Beast Wars Transformers". While she has never done a nude scene she did sport some nice underwear in the television movie "Home Movie" (1992).

    and ...
    Sherilyn Fenn

    Meg Register

    Nicolette Scorsese

    Dann's visual review of "Boxing Helena". As always, excellent collages with plenty of nudity.

    Assorted Aussies
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Contestants giving up the goods from the Australian Big Brother.

    Annabella Sciorra
    (1, 2, 3)

    Looking sexy in black undies on "The Sopranos". Vidcaps by DeafBeer.

    Claire Skinner Topless in scenes from "Perfect Strangers " by Watty.

    Entertainment News
    Obituaries

    The XFL gets pinned.
    After only 14 weeks, Vince McMahon's XFL can't power out and stays down for the 3 count. Loses by WWF and NBC are expected to be about $35 million each.

    Celeb News

    From Ananova.com...

    Fatal Attraction star is new Mrs Robinson
    US actress Anne Archer, who played Michael Douglas's wife in Fatal Attraction, will be the next star to bare all in the West End production the Graduate.

    Archer, 53, is the oldest of the four stars to take the part and will take over from Amanda Donohoe in the hit play as Mrs Robinson.

    Jerry Hall and Kathleen Turner have also starred as a boozy middle-aged woman who seduces a university graduate half her age, Benjamin Braddock.

    The actress flew to the UK to see the play with her 24-year-old son and was impressed by the show, which was one of the hottest tickets in London when it opened in March last year with Turner in the role.

    It has taken more than 7 million at the box office since then.

    Archer will start rehearsing for the role at the Gielgud Theatre on May 21, before making her debut appearance on June 11. She will be in the play until September 29.

    She told US entertainment newspaper Daily Variety: "It's a character who is so deliciously amoral. I'm an actress. And I'm old enough to play it."

    In Fatal Attraction, she was the wife wronged by her cheating husband, played by Douglas, who is then stalked by an obsessed Glenn Close.

    Archer will come to London after starring in The Vagina Monologues in Beverly Hills.

    The Funnies
    HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

    1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
    2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
    3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
    4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
    5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.
    6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
    7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
    8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.
    9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.
    10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.
    11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above the steering wheel, driving in the left lane at 35 on the Interstate with the left blinker on: Florida.
    12. One hand on wheel of '72 VW bus, one hand on bong, Oregon.


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