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I looked at three Region 2 DVDs today from the UK, hoping for uncut
versions. I got screwed. All three were cut.
Cat Chaser is even labeled "complete and uncut,"
on the DVD box, but
Kelly McGillis's famous spread-legged
shot is not there! There is some good news. (1) The image quality
is markedly better than the Region 1 DVD (2) Although not "uncut,"
it is "less cut" than the Region 1 DVD, so we got one new image
(collage 1).
Kelly McGillis looked better in this film than she
has ever looked at any other time.
Review here.
Red Heat and Chained Heat are boxed together.
(Both are "Linda Blair in Prison" movies.)
Red Heat is a poor movie which is
redeemed only by two scenes: (1) the sex scene between Linda
Blair and Sylvia Kristel and (2) the shower scene.
Unfortunately, the sex scene is missing! The film itself is
too lame to be taken seriously, and too tame to be a good
exploitation film. It does generate some unintentional laughs
from the legendary Euro-bimbo Sylvia Kristel, who was cast as
the "tough broad," with hilarious results. She looked about as
tough as Florence Henderson on The Brady Bunch. I don't know
if Kristyel is wearing a crotch patch in that shower scene. It
seems so. Either way, she was way out of shape below the belt
(last collage)
The good news: these are much better images
than any we previously had from this film.
Here is a film clip of the shower scene.
(Zipped .wmv)
The last Linda Blair image below is not my
idea of a collage. It was a dreaded triple-dissolve, and that
is an actual screen cap of the dark sex scene between Blair
and her boyfriend.
| Linda
Blair |
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| Sylvia
Kristel |
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| unknown |
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Chained Heat is actually an excellent WIP
exploitation movie. It's totally goofy and over-the-top, and was
never meant to be taken seriously. It has Dean Wormer as the
sex-crazed evil warden, tons of nudity, catfights, shower
scenes, and Sybill Danning. This DVD came very close to
perfection, because the image quality is excellent and it is a
widescreen anamorphic transfer. Only two problems: (1) with as
much nudity as they left in, they cut the scene where Dean
Wormer rapes Linda Blair! (2) Because it is widescreen, and
the previous VHS versions were full-screen, there are some
sections where nudity is lost at the bottom of the screen,
including (sigh) Linda Blair getting soaped up by Sybill
Danning in the shower. Linda was a couple of years younger here
than in Red Heat, and looked much fitter and trimmer.
| Monique Gabrielle |
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| Sharon Hughes |
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| Sybil Danning |
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| Marcia Karr and Edy
Williams |
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| Linda Blair |
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| unidentified |
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Linda Blair Bonus
The Skinster captured her in two of her more obscure roles:
| Linda Blair
in Bedroom Eyes 2 |
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| Linda Blair
in Fatal Bond |
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The Civil War (1990 TV)
My final item has nothing to do with celebrity nudity. For no
very good reason other than it is the greatest work of art
produced by mankind since Michelangelo died, I scribbled a few
words about The Civil
War, the famous documentary by Ken Burns. I ended up skipping
a night of sleep to watch it all the way through!
Other Crap:
"Pamela Anderson could kill
someone on a cold day"
- Yeah, the plastiboobs
look good, but her face is starting to look
too much like Dick Cheney's
First-ever Television
Appearance by "Weird Al" Yankovic
DNA evidence shows n connection
to Duke lacrosse players in the rape charge,
so prosecutor charges them with "Having an
open container of beer in the passenger seat
of a car"
- My God. What are today's
youth coming to?
- Man, North Carolina sure
has turned into a pussy state in the last
few decades. Why not just change the name of
the state to "South Massachusetts"? Why is
it even a crime for my passenger to drink a
beer if I am driving?
Britain's Post-UFO Report: the
myths that won't die ...
Unusual MI3 Ticket Sales at
Hollywood ArcLight Near Scientology Celeb
Center
Jennifer Aniston To Buy Mr T's
Mansion
- ... although he pities
the fool who pays full asking price
"Jessica Simpson showed up to
the NCLR ALMA awards with curly red hair and
the weirdest looking breasts I've ever seen."
Genius scientists prove that
lesbians like chicks!
Opus versus Opie
A script review of Oceans 13!
Check out these shots of David
Blaine's hands after living in his fishbowl
for nearly a week.
Ya gotta love naughty European
commercials
Headline of the day:
Doctors Save Keith Richards'
Brain
Berlin brothel offers special
deal for virgins Buy
1, get 1 free?
Penis artist's work shocks
father
A new clip from X-Men 3!
(Hang on through the Brazilian Portuguese.)
BIDEN ADMITS COPYING STUMP
SPEECH FROM YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
- Calls Forty Similar
Passages "An Honest Mistake"
Blaine Fails to Set Underwater
Record
- "Stunt artist David
Blaine was pulled from an aquarium by divers
Monday nearly two minutes short of his goal
of setting a world record for holding his
breath underwater"
Cheerleader guy says:
"David Blaine is in bad shape
as he gets ready for tonight's stunt.
This guy is making a good living doing this
kind of thing. God Bless America. I will be
watching Nick at Night."
Headline of the day:
"Lindsay Lohan Wants More Tits
and Ass"
- Who was it who said about
her: "The girl smokes more meat than a Texas
BBQ pit."
"Dianetics - Scientology
Propaganda Video"
A good way to start off on
Monday. A funny video of the evolution of
dance. Try NOT to
watch all six minutes.
- Reminds me of Denis
Leary's line about Michael Flatley, Lord of
the Dance. "The last time somebody showed up
calling himself a lord, we crucified him.
And we still know where the nails are."
Etiquette Tips for Game Show
Contestants
URL says it all:
PimpMySnack.com
Psst ... don't tell
President Bush about this. It sounds worse
than human/animal hybrids.The
first self-replicating robots
Twart - a portmanteau of twat
and art ...
TEENAGE BOYS NOW CALL FOR
CENSORSHIP OF SOUTH PARK AFTER FAMILY GUY
PARODY
Brooke Shields' post-partum
depression disappears as Cruise movie fizzles"
- “You know I just had my
second child, and I was again battling
post-partum depression,” said Shields. “But
when I saw the M:I3 box office reports I
suddenly started feeling better. As a matter
of fact, I haven’t felt this good in years.”
STEPHEN COLBERT BEING HELD AT
GUANTANAMO BAY ...
host beginning to regret scathing speech
MICHAEL MOORE COMES OUT OF
HIDING, ATTEMPTS TO KILL STEPHEN COLBERT
Saturn's moon, Titan, as seen
from five miles above its surface.
- The larger version is
actually too large to be useful
ABC now has Sunday's episode of
Desperate Housewives online in its entirety.
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Sex and Fury (1973)
Sex & Fury (1973), or Furyō anego den: Inoshika Ochō, is another Pinky
Violence offering from Panic House, and is of the same superb quality as all
of their other releases. This is more of a "girl Yakuza" than "girl gang"
film, and stars Reiko Ike, whom we have seen before, but never looking better.
At the start of the film, we learn that she is an accomplished pickpocket and
gambler. She receives the dying wish of another gambler, to take his bank
account and redeem his sister, who is to be sold into prostitution. She
resolves to accomplish the mission.
Then we learn that Ike also has her own mission in life, to revenge the
three people who murdered her detective father. Each has a tattoo that matches
a Japanese gambling card design. Unfortunately, because of advantages gained
when they killed her father, they are in charge of the Japanese ruling party.
Another major player, Christina Lindberg, is a foreign spy who has taken the
job because she is in love with a Japanese dissident. The dissident, it turns
out, is after the same people as Ike. Ike locates the sister (Rie Saotome) and
gambles with Lindberg for her freedom, but Saotome's virginity is taken by one
of the bad guys, whose thing is virgins, before she is turned loose.
Ike does in the first of her targets by covering her body with poison, and
having him lick it off. The other two deaths are harder for Ike to come
by. In the process, she is chained, beaten, then tied up and hung from the
ceiling. My favorite scene starts with Ike in a hot tub. She is attacked, and
springs out of the tub, completely naked, and dispatches dozens of armed men
with a sword, first in the building, then outside in the snow. Her other fight
scenes are equally impressive.
There is very good news in the nudity department. it seems like Reio Ike is
naked most of the film, and shows breasts, buns, and even a hint of bush.
Christine Lindberg also gives a 3b performance. Jun Midorikawa shows breasts
and buns in a three way which includes Lindberg. Both Rie Saotome and Yonk
Mihara show breasts.
The DVD package is very attractive, and includes commentary, good optional
subtitles, a pristine transfer, cast and crew bios, a trailer, and an essay on
Japanese exploitation. Again, this film was made at a major studio (Toei), and
reflects that in all technical aspects.
IMDb readers say 7.1, demonstrating a high level of acceptance among genre
fans. The genre is Japanese exploitation, and this is an excellent one, well
packaged.
Obvious C+
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Dann reports on Death 4 Told:
Four horror short stories, whose common bond is they all end in death,
make up this 2004 collection.
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The first story deals with a writer and
his wife who move into a haunted house.
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Next comes a story of three college
couples on a camping trip where tall tales suddenly become reality.
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In the third, a TV crew prepares to tape
their hit show, "World's Most Haunted Places". Unfortunately, this time
they picked a place that really WAS haunted.
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The final story, titled "The Psychic"
(shown in the collage), stars Margot Kidder as a phony Tarot card
reader whose predictions suddenly start coming true, to her dismay.
Interesting and well done stories,
although they appear to have been shot on a tight budget. The DVD transfer
is horrible, but the stories aren't.
Beverly Swaile |
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Carroll Baker
in Paranoia |
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Liv Ullman in Ung Flukt |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
A four-year secret study of UFOs written in 2000 by Britain's Defense
Ministry has been declassified. It declares that UFOs do exist, but they're not
alien spacecraft. They say most are atmospheric phenomena: glowing "plasmas" of
gas created by electrical charges that appear to move at great speed and change
course when air flows around them. But there's no evidence that these lights
are solid or hostile or under any type of control.
* Of course, that's what the aliens told them to say.
The Sea Mammal Research Unit at Scotland's St. Andrews University has discovered
that dolphins recognize each other by name. Over 30 years of research, they
found that a young dolphin begins using a distinctive whistle that seems to
function as its name, allowing other dolphins to recognize that specific dolphin
by the sound. They said it shows that dolphins have great intelligence and
complex social structures. For instance, they responded strongly to the
whistles of dolphins that were their relatives or associates, but generally
ignored those of dolphins to whom they had no connection.
* If they were as smart as humans, they'd learn to ignore
their relatives.
Sunday, President Bush was asked to name the best moment of his
presidency, and he joked that it was "when I caught a 7-1/2 pound largemouth
bass on my lake"
* Oops, turns out he wasn't joking
* Finally, something Bush and the Democrats agree on.
Three teenagers in the Arab town of Qalansawe, Israel, were arrested after
police found 150,000 detonators in the house of one of them. They claimed the
detonators were meant for their personal use
* Teenagers! They're just bursting with ideas! |
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