"The Last Shot"

The Last Shot (2004) is a comedy based on the true story of an FBI sting operation, where they pretended to be making a movie to incriminate some mob officials. An FBI agent (Alec Baldwin), brother to an FBI director, who has been relegated to field offices and assignments leading nowhere, concocts the scheme, and gets funding approval. Of course, he knows nothing about making a movie, so he travels to Hollywood, and discovers he needs a script. As luck would have it, he discovers the perfect sucker in Matthew Broderick, a ticket taker at Gruman's Chinese theater, who has written a script about a woman battling cancer and seeking holy Indian grounds of the Hopi called Arizona, that takes place in the grand canyon. Baldwin doesn't let the fact that he needs to shoot this in Rhode Island for the sting to work. I do not want to spoil any of the jokes by revealing more of the plot.

This is the funniest new film I have seen in a very long time. The only disappointment was that it was over so quickly. Toni Collette plays an actress who had a drug problem after her academy award nomination, was blackballed, and did a little porn, but is now clean and wants in the movie badly. Her performance is one of the many highlights of the film. We see her breasts when a mob figure watches her on a porno. IMDb readers have this at 5.5 of 10. It had a limited release last year, peaking at 40 screens. I have to believe it was simply not promoted properly, but it could be that it requires more knowledge of film making than the typical mall audience has to understand it. This is a very high C+. IT is the finest adult targeted comedy I have seen in a long time.

  • Thumbnails

  • Toni Collette (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Julie Walking Home (2002):

    • Miranda Otto, of Lord of the Rings, looking absolutely beautiful in this Agnieszka Holland film. The first .wmv is short and unimportant, but the second is sweet. (1, 2)


    Out of the Blue (1991):

    • The quality of this .wmv file is poor, and the image is small, but it is WELL worth it to see a seldom-capped scene from this obscure BBC film, and add it to your collection. "Why?", you may rightfully ask. I'll tell ya why. Catherine Zeta-Jones is topless and 21 years old. Good enough reason?


    The Prophecy II (1998):

    It's sequel time, and the Archangel Gabriel (Christopher Walken) continues to prosecute the second civil war in heaven while various good angels conspire to defeat him. Apparently the official angel lore states that the war in heaven will be ended by ended by one of the Nephilim who, according to this movie at least, are the earth-born offspring of angels and human women.

    It all relates to this passage from Genesis 6 (Revised standard version)

    When men began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them,  the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were fair; and they took to wife such of them as they chose. Then the LORD said, "My spirit shall not abide in man for ever, for he is flesh, but his days shall be a hundred and twenty years."  The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men that were of old, the men of renown.

    John Gray clarified the Hebrew myth in his book Near Eastern Mythology "The tradition in Genesis 6.4 may reflect the Canaanite myth of the birth of minor gods from the union of El and human women. The conception of the Rephaim as supermen may reflect the Canaanite tradition of defunct kings as rp'um, or Dispensers of fertility. Those giants...are termed n'philim (lit. 'those who have fallen' or 'perished'). A similar tradition mentions such a race of primordial giants in the Rephaim. The identity in tradition of 'the fallen ones' of Genesis 6:4 and the Rephaim is supported by the nature of the latter in Proverbs 2:18; Job 26:5 and Phoenician funerary inscriptions"

    King Jimmy had a slightly different translation. Instead of  "The Nephilim were on the earth in those days", his version rendered the phrase in words more familiar to our ears "There were giants in the earth in those days." Either way, the movie is basically using that passage to prove that the Nephilim are the scion of angels, and have walked among us.

    In order to create the Nephilim lad who is prophesied to defeat Gabriel, the good angels believe that one of their kind must take human form and have some rip-roarin' good sex with Jennifer Beals. Danyael thinks this sounds like a pretty sweet assignment, so he volunteers. Beals is fairly pleased with the procedure until Danyael is just about to do the deed, when he goes all angel on her, drops the whispers and pillow talk, and starts speaking like Richard Burton in a biblical movie, solemnly intoning stuff like "dost thou accept me?" And she's, like, all "what the fuck, homes" until she sees that he's not kidding, so she says "OK, OK, I accept you" just to get on with the fuckin' already. Unfortunately for her, angels aren't really too experienced in the sack. Ol' Danyael kinda dispenses with the small talk and the tenderness portion of the activity and commences to pound into her like a jackhammer. Needless to say, this one sex act places his angel seed in her lady egg.

    Hoo, boy is Gabriel ticked off when he find out that The Chosen One has been conceived! He had been hanging around in hell, kinda doing a buddy thing with Lucifer when he had to return to earth to deal with the baby who could someday defeat him. Or maybe Lucifer just evicted his ass from hell for non-payment of rent. I'm not sure. Either way, since Gabe doesn't expect to be invited to the baby shower, he makes it his sole goal in life to hunt down Jennifer Beals and rip the baby from her womb. Oh, yeah, and while he's at it, he'll probably rip out her heart as well, just because heart-ripping seems to be his M.O., his hobby, and a source of real relaxation in his tension-filled life.

    Will Big Gabe track her down, or will Danyael and his boss, the powerful but cryptic Michael the Archangel (the ever-holy Eric Roberts), be able to save her?

    This is a straight to vid cheapie that needs a few lightbulbs, and lasts only 75 minutes between credits. It doesn't offer much entertainment except the predictably weird Christopher Walken and a few crazy examples of over-the-top imagination. For example, Michael and Gabriel must battle in the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately, humans have built an ugly factory on the site, and there is nothing left of the original paradise except one unhealthy, sparsely blossoming tree which bears a grand total of one apple. (Someone reaches for the apple and Walken admonishes, "Don't touch that. Trust me.")

    • Jennifer Beals (1, 2, 3)


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Scoop came up with a good idea for our next poll that should stir up some conversation, if not some controversy.

    This week's poll....

    Email Scoopy Jr. if you'd like to add nominees or offer suggestions for future polls.

    Here are the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
    Best Lesbian Love Scenes

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Dangerous Love" (1988)
    Thriller starring Elliott Gould.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Riding the Bullet"
    Being a huge Stephen King fan, I was looking forward to this movie. As often happens, anticipation exceeded reality.

    This 2004 horror/thriller follows a young college student as he thumbs his way home to see his dying mother. This young man is preoccupied with death, and during his travels, he keeps seeing things in his mind that MAY happen. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

    As time passes, the young man begins to believe that the stranger who is giving him a ride may actually be dead, and even worse, may control his mother's destiny.

    A good story, and I'm willing to bet King's version was excellent, but the movie confuses the watcher by showing many events that turn out to be nothing but in the character's head. It's not always clear when these events are or are not the actual events of the movie. By the middle of the movie, your interest starts to stray, and the ending is low-key, tame and without much punch.

    There have been many excellent screen adaptations of Stephen King's work, but this, unfortunately, is not one of them. I'm glad I watched it, but I expected much more.

    Incidentially, I did this collage a little differently than usual.....actually, backwards. The scene really started with the closeup, and ended with the wide shots, but I decided it made a better collage the other way. Call me crazy.

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Amelia Cooke
    (1, 2)
    Sunny Mabrey
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Both babes looking great while baring breasts and bum in scenes from the sci-fi sequel, "Species 3".

    Claire Danes
    (1, 2)

    Claire in her first topless scene from the indie film "Stage Beauty".

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    (1, 2)

    The Oscar winner going topless in scenes from "Sylvia" (2003).

    Even more HDTV 'caps featuring some of last week's Prime Time Skin highlights.

    Nikki Cox Showing a little bit of her lovely cleavage and looking hot as always on last week's episode of "Las Vegas".

    Nikki Griffin
    (1, 2)

    In a bikini top and cut-offs as well as showing some wonderbra cleavage on "The O.C.". Look for her on the big screen this summer in "The Dukes of Hazzard".

    Iva Franks Showing truckloads of cleavage while playing a brothel madam on "Las Vegas".

    Scorpion's Skinemax
    Here's a great variety of porn-babes and late night ladies showing some skin and gettin' it on Skinemax style.

    From the "Hannah's Surprise" episode of the late night series "Hot Line".

    Next up scenes from the from the late night cable series "Thrills". Episode: "Club Plasma".

    • Antionette Abbott...all 3 B's and plenty of pseudo-sex. (1, 2, 3)

    • One of my favorite ladies of late night...Catalina Larranaga. Here she topless and showing some pubes while gettin' it on. (1, 2)

    Here we have a few scenes from "Deviant Passions".

    • Beverly Lynne, the former NFL cheerleader turned softcore actress. Here we she her topless and showing just a hint of bush in a couple of sex scenes. (1, 2)

    • Porn babe Julie Meadows shows off pubes and robo-boobs in a couple of sex scenes. (1, 2, 3)

    • Kelli Tyler, topless only in this first collage, however she does join forces with Felicia Fox for a 3-way scene and then with Wendy Divine for some sun bathing and lesbo-lovin.

    • Wendy Divine naturally has her own sex scene with a dude.

    Moving on, Scorpion takes a look at "Sexual Temptations" (2001)

    • Chelsea Blue, the adult film star bares all. You may have seen her in such hard core classics as "A Face Full of Ass" and "Ass Lovers Special". (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Heere is adult and softcore babe Dru Berrymore baring all. Later she is joined by Susan Hale for a 3-way scene.

    • Susan Hale again...this time doing a dude without Dru.

    • Another adult film star, Nikita Cash, also bares all in a sex scene. Cash is one of those rare adult stars that shows tan lines.

    Next up, 'caps from the soft core flick movie "Carnal Confessions" (2004)

    • Here is pint-sized adult star Daisey Dukes (aka Melissa Milano) gettin' it on.

    • Wendy Rice bares all in a couple of sex scenes. In #5, it looks like Scorpion may have caught them doing the deed for real. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Porn babe Star E. Knight also has a little sexual fun. (1, 2)

    • Exotic beauty Tess Broussard also gives a triple B performance. Unfortunately, her plastic surgeon was either blind or drunk when he did her installation.

    Here we have a few scenes from "Blind Passion".

    • Iliana Fischer shows off her robo-hooters and full frontal nudity while gettin' it on.

    • Wendy Guess gives up all 3 B's in a couple of sex scenes. (1, 2, 3)

    • Mia Zottoli aka Ava Lake shows off her big'uns, along with the other two B's as she gets into the shower.

    Billie Piper
    (1, 2)

    The paparazzi catch the young UK pop star and actress doing a little topless sunbathing. Currently you can see her starring on UK TV in the new "Doctor Who" series.

    Jennifer Hawkins The Aussie babe and Miss Universe wearing very little while visting Rio and celebrating Carnival.

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