"Almost Pregnant"

Almost Pregnant (1992) has always been a favorite sex comedy, and I finally located it on DVD in the UK. Linda and Charlie Alderson (Jeff Conway and Tanya Roberts) are seeing a fertility doctor (Dom DeLuise), and discover that the problem is with Charlie. When changing style of shorts and ice packs on the testicles don't help, Linda comes up with another solution. Since Charlie keeps striking out, she suggests a pinch hitter. Charlie reluctantly agrees, and weird neighbor Gordon Mallory (John Calvin) is drafted. It is to be a secret from his wife Maureen, who is a hip mom with a large family. "You don't hit your kids, do you?" asks Linda. "No ... they are too fast," she answers. Things get more complex when Maureen reveals to Linda that Gordon has had a vasectomy, Linda turns to Charlie's cousin for additional help, and Charlie starts a thing with Maureen for something to do while Charlie and Linda are together.

The credits list Lisa Comshaw as a body double, and there has always been speculation about who really showed what, but DVD quality and single frame capability have solved the mystery. Lisa Comshaw was used for some breast and bun shots interspersed in a long sex montage, probably done long after principle photography was a wrap. We see breast and bun closeups, and no hint of face in these shots. Roberts shows breasts and buns on and off through much of the film, and we even get a flash of bush in one scene. Severance shows breasts and buns, including one scene where she is dancing on the bed doing a dance of the seven veils. As her face was covered for much of this, some have suggested that the double was used here, but this is clearly not the case.

IMDB readers have this at 4.5 of 10. I think it suffers from being too much of a comedy for the soft porn lovers, and having too much nudity for the comedy people. As I enjoy both, I highly recommend it. Severance is great, and there is some very funny material. C.

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  • Joan Severance (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
  • Lisa Comshaw (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Tanya Roberts (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Truth or Consequences, N.M. (1997)

    I wrote once that if there were no Quentin Tarantino, mankind would have to invent him.

    Pulp Fiction was a cool film, telling a story from the point of view of different types of baddies and losers, combining its stylized ultra-violence with "hip" pop lingo. I didn't think it was quite as hip as everyone else seemed to think, but I thought it was an interesting piece of lurid entertainment, and a perfect match to its title.

    Unfortunately, Tarantino's success and acclaim inspired a whole bunch of people to try to do just about the same thing. Truth or Consequences is one such example. A bunch of low rent thugs rip off some mobsters. The heist gets messed up and all the mobsters end up dead. One of the mobsters was an undercover DEA agent. They also manage to kill a bunch of police officers in the process of making their getaway. Therefore, our low-rent heroes have both the mob and the Feds after them as they make a low-tech run for the border.

    We have the usual characters in the band of four. The flamboyant loose cannon guy. The crime-as-a-lunchbox-job guy who just wants to make one score and move to Mexico with his girlfriend. The actual girlfriend. Another undercover cop. The gang manages to pick up two hostages along the way, and the male hostage becomes a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, thus tries to become one of the gang, a rather complicated procedure since one of their gang is a cop to begin with!

    Along the way to their inevitable big shoot-out in an old deserted house, the crooks and hostages create a massive body count and exchange pseudo-Tarantinian banter about the nutritional properties of breakfast burritos, the discomfort factor in Early American furniture, the gas mileage in recreational vehicles, and so forth.

    This was the first theatrical film directed by Kiefer Sutherland, who also played the hammiest role (the trigger-happy, gun-crazy guy).

    It grossed $54,000. Total.

    That's the bad news. The good news is that I picked it up at Fry's for seven bucks.

    I got started on this film in the first place because I was going to round out the career nudity for Kim Dickens.

    • Kim Dickens (1, 2)


    Other crap:

    Is that Falwell a tool, or what?


    • Honte's Swedish and International Celebrities is updated 


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we return to "Olga's House of Shame" for another visit.

    Our victim for the day is Brenda De Naut, who is tied to a tree and is whipped and has her voluptuous breasts exposed for our pleasure.

    Brenda indeed made a lovely "Babe in Bondage" in this 1964 classic roughie.

    Scorpion's Skinemax
    Alicia Moorland Breasts, bum, a hint of pubes and some sport humpin from an episode of the late night series "Erotic Confessions".

    Bobbie Phillips Brief breast views in scenes from the movie you've never heard of, "Cheyenne" (1996)...starring M.C. Hammer! Of course "X-Files" fans know and love her best as "Dr. Bambi".

    Brandi Lee Braxton Serious robo-hooters and some thong views from "Erotic Confessions".

    Carrie Phenix and Zoe Paul Breasts, bush and plenty of lesbo lovin'! Also from "Erotic Confessions".

    Cory Lane A blonde with big fake boobs on Skinemax? What are the odds. Ms. Lane shows all 3 B's in scenes from the "Erotic Confessions" episode: "The Wedding Party".

    Lauren Hays One of my favorite Skinemax babes showing off breasts, bum and bush (close ups!) in another "Erotic Confessions" episode.

    Nicole Leto Topless in scenes from the "Savannah Gardens" episode of the late night series "Erotic Confessions".

    Regina Russell
    (1, 2)

    Another triple B and sport humping performance from "Erotic Confessions".

    Susan Featherly Full frontal nudity from...yup, you guessed it, "Erotic Confessions".

    Gwyneth Paltrow The Oscar winner showing a hint of see-thru nipple while out in public. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Lacey Chabert The former ""Party of Five" co-star all grown up and looking pretty good on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn.

    Jennifer Brooks
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Very nice topless 'caps by Señor Skin from the 1972, Hankster approved movie "The Abductors". Tuna reviewed this movie back in the 12/24/02 edition of the Fun House, and gave it a very thorough once over, including 58 collages.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Needs More Viagra - "60 Minutes" may yank the Clinton-Dole debates before they even run the 10 they scheduled. They've generated no interest or ratings. Producer Don Hewitt said the war was an inhibiting factor because neither man wanted to seem unpatriotic by really going after Bush or each other.

  • Plus Bob Dole was uncomfortable working around people who were so much older than him.
  • And Clinton's entourage of interns really disrupted the set.
  • Does this mean Bill Clinton is NOT a "60-Minutes man"?
  • They'll be replaced with Andy Rooney debating cereal boxes.

    What A Waste Of Musical Talent! - US Weekly reports that Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne are furious that Kelly Osbourne has been dumped by Epic Records due to low sales of her debut CD, "Shut Up." She was just finishing her second album. Her dad has been with Epic for over 20 years.

  • Or so they tell him; he doesn't remember...
  • But compared to her, Ozzy is a great singer.
  • If she wants to keep her record contract, she'll need to bite the head off something other than her brother.