Tuesday

Duos sur canap

Film clip yesterday. Here are the collages:

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shirley Valentine

Shirley Valentine (1989) is a British romantic comedy based on a one-woman stage play. Both the play and the movie starred Pauline Collins as Shirley, a woman in her late 40s. Her two children are out of the house, and she has become cook and maid to her husband. She feels that she has lost her real self. She relates episodes from her school days, where she was a rebel and jealous of the teacher's pet, and then sees the same woman she was so jealous of getting out of a limo. She is green with envy until she discovers that this woman is now a hooker, and always envied Shirley.

When her girlfriend invites her to go to Greece for a two week vacation, Shirley feels she can't get away until her husband forbids it. After several other missteps, she ends up in a Greek Island where her feminist friend meets a man Shirley calls "Walking Groin" and abandons her. She loves Greece, and has an affair with a pub owner. Has she found herself? Will she return to Liverpool and her drab life with her drab husband? Is the pub owner, played brilliantly by Tom Conti, her true love?

A brilliant script, great supporting players such as Joanna Lumley, and the perfect lead (Pauline Collins), made for a very enjoyable watch. Further, many men could stand this lesson in what a woman means when she says she has "lost herself."

B-. A good watch even if you are not fond of romantic comedies or stage play adaptations.

The reviews were 80% positive and IMDb readers say 7.2, with only a slight edge (7.8) from female voters. Pauline Collins was nominated for Best Oscar in a very tough year, and the film also received a best song nomination. To give you an idea of the competition that year, we have:

  • Born on the Fourth of July
  • Driving Miss Daisy
  • Dead Poets Society
  • Henry V
  • Glory
  • Crimes and Misdemeanors
  • The Fabulous Baker Boys
  • Enemies: A Love Story
  • Parenthood
  • Steel Magnolias
  • Batman
  • The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
  • Harlem Nights
  • Valmont
  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
  • Lethal Weapon 2
  • Back to the Future Part II
  • Cinema Paradiso
  • The Little Mermaid
  • Field of Dreams
  • Sex, Lies and Videotape
  • When Harry Met Sally

It is no wonder this small film escaped my notice.

 

Pauline Collins shows breasts and buns in clear light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning

 

April Scott played a young Daisy Duke. No nudity but some nice cleavage.

 

Casey Durkin & Carrie Minter are topless as they soak up some sun.

 

Trishelle Canatella shows off the hooters.

 

Plus a bunch of topless unknowns.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cold Room

A British teenager (Amanda Pays), who joins her father (George Segal) for a vacation in East Berlin. Spending time in her tiny room in an old-fashioned hotel, she gradually comes under the spell of another girl who lived in the same house during the war.

 

 

Amanda Pays

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Alexandra Paul

topless in American Flyers

full frontal nudity in Eight Million Ways to Die

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Prayer for the Dying

 

 

Sammi Davis

Although she's not technically topless, in the first collage she might just as well be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Breastford Wives

A 2007 sexploitation Sci-Fi film, The Breastford Wives can be reviewed in one word: Boobies! They threw in a plot, too, but you may wonder why they bothered. Any film with softcore queens Glori-Anne Gilbert and Taylor Wane is bound to be simply lots of naked bodies wrapped in a thin plot, and this one is no exception. Chances are, no one who watches will care.

A direct rip-off of The Stepford Wives classic, the little town of Breastford is run by a doctor who is also the mayor, fire chief, dog catcher, etc. The doc's a popular man with the other men because he's developed a mind control gizmo that turns all the women into sex slaves.

When Rob and Laura move to town, Rob can't believe his good fortune when he starts getting laid by every woman in sight, all of them total strangers. What he doesn't know is the mayor is using the device so Rob will join the men's group and help keep the secret of Breastford. Needless to say, all good things come to an end, but not before Rob gets very lucky.

Fine for a night of boob-watching, but don't expect any more out of this one. Don't expect a lot of natural breasts, either - there may be one set in the whole bunch.

Dylan Bailey Friday Glori-Anne Gilbert
Monica Rakocyova Sarah Maglaughlin Taylor Wane

 

 

 

 

 

Piper Perabo and Jessica Pare in Lost and Delirious. A rather sophomoric movie with artistic pretensions, but watching these two gorgeous women get it on is marvelous.
Piper has gotten rather more modest since those days, but here's her bethonged bum in Because I Said So. Lauren Graham and Mandy Moore also appear in the clip.
A perennial Fun House favorite, Monique Gabrielle, in Evil Toons
What can ya say? Paris Hilton heading to court, dressed to the nines, loose skirt blown up to her crotch by the wind.

The women of Epic Movie

Audra Lynn Carmen Electra Heather Storm
Laura Harring in Ghost Son
Here's Marvin's collages of Julie Wiggin in Framtid. These match up with the two film clips which have appeared here in the past week.

 

 

One of the most respected Dutch actresses, Renee Soutendijk, in De Flat

 

 

 

 

 


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

In what some pundits called the dumbest election story so far, the Los Angeles Times wondered if Fred Thompson's presidential hopes could be harmed if clips appear on YouTube of him playing a white supremacist who made anti-Semitic remarks while holding a copy of Hitler's "Mein Kampf" on the CBS drama "Wiseguy" 19 years ago, in 1988. 

*  That's like asking if Arnold Schwarzenegger really is a violent robot from the future, except in Arnold's case, it could be true. 


Hilton also claimed she's a target of cops because she's so pretty.  She says they pull her over "all the time" and ask her out.  She said, "I have so many cops' business cards."

*  Uh, Paris?  Those aren't business cards ... They're speeding tickets.


John Brandrick, 62, of Cornwall, England, was told by doctors that he had pancreatic cancer and would die within a year.  So he decided to
live life to the fullest: he sold or gave away his possessions, stopped paying his mortgage and used his savings to travel and dine out.  He was left with nothing but the suit he planned to be buried in.  It's now two years later, and doctors say their diagnosis was wrong: he's healthy.  Brandrick thinks the hospital should have to pay some compensation.  They say they sympathize, but a review of the case showed that if they had to do it again, they would have made the same diagnosis. 

*  Of course, they won't do it again, because he can't afford to pay the bill now.