Patrick Vive Ancora (1980) is an unofficial sequel to the Australian film Patrick (1978), which was a huge hit in Italy. They decided to capitalize on the popularity, and make this sequel. Following the rules, they got lots of women naked, had far more gore and violence, and left room for a sequel. There is only one review listed on the net, but it is sufficient, as they have it exactly right. They describe it as a soft core, but with violence and gore replacing the sex. It is misogynistic, and has minimal plot. He goes on to say that he enjoyed it, but warns that just watching it will permanently reduce your IQ.

Patrick, for those who missed it, is about a young man injured when hit in the head with a bottle thrown from a passing car, who is in a coma, but has telekinetic powers. Patrick now lives at his father's health spa, and daddy has accomplished two important things. He has narrowed the list of who could have been in the car that threw the bottle to 6 names, and has figured out how to couple brainwaves from three other people to boost his son's power. He finds a way to blackmail each of the six to stay at his spa, so Patrick can kill them.

An unknown shows breasts and buns as one of the three other test subjects.

Another unknown plays the part of the woman who runs around naked, gets abused and beat up by men, and is eaten by dogs.

Anna Veneziano plays the part of the woman that runs around naked, and is mentally sexually assaulted by Patrick.

Carmen Russo plays the part of the woman that runs around naked, gets abused and beat up by men, and is decapitated by an electric car window.

Mariangela Giordano plays the part of the woman that runs around naked, gets abused and beat up by men, and is skewered with a rotisserie spit from twat to mouth.

This last death was not scripted, but the director had a huge argument with her the previous day on set, and decided to change her death to something really humiliating to get even. The nudity, which includes full frontal for all but the test subject, is mostly well lit and photographed. Giordiano and Giani Dei in the title role were both celebs at the time, but the rest of the cast were unknowns at the time. IMDB readers have this at 4.3 of 10. If the idea of plentiful nudity, violence and gore appeals to you, this is a good looking film and a very nice transfer. The DVD also includes interviews with the director and others. IF you are looking for plot and scare, this one is not for you. C.

Things Behind the Sun (2001) - revisited

I'm back to my regular computer and full monitor today, and I thought I could improve on the best view of Kim Dickens in Things Behind the Sun,

• Kim Dickens

The Unsaid (2001)

The hallmark of the new millennium: copying Edward Norton's performances from the previous millennium.

• In The Believer, Ryan Gosling did a great impersonation of Norton in American History X.
• In The Unsaid, Vicent Kartheiser does a great impersonation of Norton in Primal Fear

Kartheiser plays a mental patient who may or may not be released into general society in a few weeks. He seems completely healthy and well adjusted. In fact, he already has the freedom to leave the mental health facility on a limited basis, but the resident shrink knows that as a young boy her patient experienced trauma when his father killed his mother, and the psychiatrist feels that the boy has never really dealt with this in a healthy way. The local shrink calls in an expert psychiatrist (Andy Garcia) whose judgment of Kartheiser will be critical to the release decision.

The kid researches his new shrink's own hot buttons, and then uses them to manipulate Garcia's decision. It seems that Garcia recently lost his own son to suicide, and Kartheiser uses the shrink's grief and guilt to offer himself up to Garcia as a substitute son. Like Edward Norton's character in Primal Fear, the patient seems as innocent as an altar boy, but his manipulations reveal that he may be hiding and/or repressing rage at great depths within his subconscious.

It plays out as a psychodrama in which Garcia must dig deeper and deeper into the facts of the father/mother incident in order to get beyond Kartheiser's facade. The investigation of the mother/father incident ends with a secret which is the key to Kartheiser's personality. While the secret is not difficult to guess, and some of the aspects of Kartheiser's personality could have been keep hidden longer to manage the suspense better, the childhood secret adds an extra layer of mystery to a complex plot which includes several sublayers:

• It turns out that Garcia also has a facade of his own to strip away, related to the death of his own son.
• At the same time he is working on the evaluation, Garcia must protect his own friends and family from someone who may be a brilliant, murderous young man pretending to be cured, because the patient knows that Garcia's recommendation is crucial, and the possibility of a negative verdict could trigger a rage reaction from the young man.

This film is not without merit. Solid C by our scale.

Garcia and Kartheiser do a great job in the leads, and the story is not bad at all. Although the film was never released theatrically in the United States, the acting alone lifts it a cut above the usual level of straight-to-video offerings and that, combined with a decent psychological mystery and a beautiful widescreen transfer, make it a pretty solid rental if you have a taste for a film that takes itself and everything in life very seriously.

• Sarah Deakins (1, 2, 3)

Borderline (2002)

Borderline is a straight-to-cable thriller. Like the picture described above, it is about a psychiatrist being manipulated by a patient. Unlike the other film, which takes itself completely seriously as an exploration of the human psyche, this one is a typically contrived and plot-driven "pure entertainment" picture.

Gina Gershon is a workaholic psychotherapist whose daughters are taken away from her by a court order, based on a suit by her vindictive and despised ex-husband. Her ex and his girlfriend are murdered the same day that they came for the kids. Meanwhile, one of Gershon's patients has been released from prison, and the murders follow the exact pattern of his previous criminal acts.

The mystery lies in the fact that there are three possible solutions to the murders. Did Gershon commit the murders in the fashion of her patient, thus framing him? Did the patient commit the murders because of his obsession with Gershon? Or did Gershon manipulate the patient into committing the murders to serve her purpose?

This is really a grade-B thriller, and the screenwriter simply ignored with a very important element. The killer was seen by the children. Later, the crazy guy was terrorizing Gershon's house, taunting her by swinging the kids on the outside swing set. Now think about it:

1) if Gershon killed her ex, why didn't her own children recognize her when she herded them safely into the bedroom?

2) if the psycho killed Gershon's ex, why did the kids play with him later? Why didn't they say, "oh, you're the guy who killed our daddy"?

3) we know that the killer wasn't wearing a mask, because we saw faces of the kids at the moment when he or she walked in the sliding door. They were not terrified. Surely, a masked man or woman carrying a knife would have frightened them.

In other words, none of the three possible solutions conforms to the facts of the case.

The other complication of the plot is that Gershon is dating the police investigator who is assigned to the case. What are the odds?

There are some positives as well:

1. The production is mounted handsomely for a low budget film, and the actors are quite competent.

2. I never fast-forwarded, and I didn't figure out whether Gershon was involved in the murders until the moment it was revealed.

3. If you are a fan of Gina Gershon, she looked marvelous and did a competent job in her role.

Based on this description, this film is a C-. It is a genre picture of minimal acceptable quality. There is no special appeal, however, except to die-hard Gershon fans and to those who just have to see every whodunit.

• Gina Gershon (no nudity, but REAL nice) (1, 2, 3)

Other crap:

• The lion doesn't lie down with the lamb yet, but the tiger lies down with the pigs
• Dick Cheney will run again in 2004. President Bush is counting on Cheney's presence to hold the key electoral votes from Undisclosed Location. The number of undisclosed electoral votes remains undisclosed, but observers say it will be "as many as necessary". Besides, Cheney has had so many heart attacks he's now immune to them. If Cheney dies in the second term, Bush gets to determine the V.P. by nomination, rather than by general election.
• Elton John and his longtime songwriting partner, Bernie Taupin, will pen music and lyrics for The Vampire Lestat, a brand-new musical based on the bestselling Anne Rice novels. Great. Singing vampires. Now I can combine my two favorite film genres.
• Liz Hurley is to play an actress-turned-serial-killer in her latest film, which is compared to Basic Instinct
• Norwegian students compile penis gallery. Hey, it's difficult to kill time in those Norwegian winters.
• Bill Shatner and his ex-wife are in court over horse semen.
• The minor leagues, where promos are still fun
• nude models unionize

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

The old time machine goes back almost 40 years to 1964 and a b&w movie that was quite notorious in it's time called "Olga's House of Shame". This was one of the so called roughies of that era and featured lots of "Babes in Bondage".

Today we feature a busty babe named Connie Oliver suffering some pretty nasty breast torture at the hands of the sadistic Olga played by Audrey Campbell.

• Connie Oliver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

First up, collages featuring scenes from the 1982 horror flick "Cat People".

• Annette O'Toole, absolutely gorgeous breast exposure.

• Nastassja Kinski, full frontal nudity.

• Lynn Lowry, toplessness and black lingerie.

Next up...scenes from the movie "Exposed".

Comments by Dann:

What's the most outstanding thing about this movie? How 'bout they did a great job of getting the actresses' nipples to stand up during the sex scenes. :-)

Plot-wise, it's pretty bad: famous male designer conspires with a model to steal designs from a newbie female designer, but is thwarted by the guy's girlfriend. Meantime, everyone is screwing everyone. Typical cable-rated fare, but like I said, they did a great job with the nipples.

• Jezebelle Bond showing something rare in the late night biz...natural breasts.

• Julia Kruis, the usual blonde with robo-hooters that comes standard with all Skinemax movies.

• Leah Riley, more natural goodies

• Julia Kruis and Leah Riley, both ladies topless.

KUTCHER SAYS HE PARTIED HARDY WITH BUSH TWINS
Those '60s Girls - "That '70s Show" hunk Ashton Kutcher told Rolling Stone that he once partied with Barbara and Jenna Bush. He said they were doing some underage drinking at his house. He went outside to check on the Secret Service, and one agent asked him if they'd be staying the night. Kutcher said no, then went upstairs looking for a friend, smelled pot, opened the door, and found his pal smoking a hookah with the Bush twins.