Zombie Strippers


At last, after more than a century of being banned and censored, the only unpublished work by the Bronte sisters has come to the silver screen.

Can you still call it a silver screen if the movie is in color?

But I digress.

The work was created not be the three Bronte sisters you are probably familiar with, but the lesser-known Kimmi Bronte, with a heart to dot the i's, their saucy little tart of a half-sister.

Imagine this: Kenneth Branagh, Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Siobhan McKenna, and Nicol Williamson ...

They are just six of the many great actors who will neither appear in this film nor even acknowledge having heard of it.

If you haven't already deduced it from the title, Zombie Strippers is not a filmed version of a Victorian romance novel, but rather a nasty, silly little bit of comedy gorotica which can best be described as a Troma-style film, although Troma actually had, to the best of my knowledge, nothing to do with it. It was distributed in an unusual manner, appearing simultaneously as a limited theatrical release and a pay-per-view cable special.

The story takes place about six years in the future, in the middle of President Bush's fourth term. (Oh, that silly constitution. It's just a piece of paper.) The president has taken the country into several more wars in the Middle East, stretching the American armed services so thin that the only possible solution to their personnel requirements is to re-animate dead soldiers into zombie super-soldiers, who will exhibit the same American fighting spirit with none of that pesky fear of death. That is the theory, at least, but the experiments go wrong, and an elite special forces unit is called in to eradicate the useless laboratory zombies. The soldiers do an excellent job, but one of them is bitten by a zombie in the course of the action. Knowing that his colleagues will have to shoot him in the head, he escapes through a basement window before he can zombify enough for the others to discover his condition.

It pretty much goes without saying that he ends up in an illegal strip joint where he doesn't look much different from the other patrons. As his condition degenerates, he eventually attacks the lead stripper (Jenna Jameson) and zombifies her. It turns out that the zombie virus has a different effect on women. While zombified men turn into shambling, slow-moving, brainless George Romero zombies, the women turn into cunning, fast-moving new-wave zombies who retain all their brainpower, but acquire an irresistible urge to devour human flesh. Their energy, athleticism and lack of inhibition makes the men in the audience think they are perfect strippers - well, at least until they get a guy alone in the Champagne Room.

Soon there are some more zombie strippers, and this really ticks off the other girls, who get booed off the stage because the guys want zombies, dammit! The club's #2 stripper, who has always wanted to be #1, finally gets herself zombified, whereupon she challenges #1 Jenna to a dance-off, which degenerates into the ultimate catfight in the manner of the Black Knight fight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with the girls ripping off each other's flesh, tearing out each other's limbs, and so forth.

I mentioned earlier that it's the most Tromatic film not actually created by Troma, and that should pretty much tell you whether you will like it. It is pretty funny in a lot of ways that Troma films can be funny: wildly exaggerated splatter and gore, (deliberately?) bad performances, black humor, and lowbrow jokes, all of as dumb as can be, yet salted with some recondite observations from the great existential philosophers. The adventure takes place in the town of Sartre, for example, and one of the zombie strippers notes that Nietzsche makes a lot more sense after one dies. The strippers spend more time discussing existentialism than make-up, and one can understand that. After all, zombies disdain make-up, and who is better prepared to understand the true nature of life and death than somebody who has tried both?

You get the picture. You may actually like this if you go for comedy/horror films. Zombie Strippers does not skimp on the nudity or the outrageousness and, while it is not my kind of movie, I do admire its demented, outré sense of energy.

Film clips:

  • Jenna Jameson, stripping before and after zombiehood, including full frontal and rear shots and a brief rear view of the inn of the seventh delight.
  • Shamron Moore, non-zombie stripping, including full nudity in one of the clips
  • Roxy Saint, stripping before and after zombiehood, topless only.
  • Group, various topless zombies
  • Penny Drake (no real nudity), pre-zombie stripping
  • Jenna Jameson and Shamron Moore - dance-off and catfight. This is the one to get if you want the real flavor of the film.

The actual clips are numbered #1 through #11, which matches their chronological appearance in the film.

Here are three samples of Jenna's more interesting frames:



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Naked Ambition


Naked Ambition (2003) a young actress attends a Hollywood party, and is taken home by the "hottest man in Hollywood." She gladly sleeps with him. Cut to her sister, a crime scene investigator, being notified of her death by suffocation with a pillow. Sis comes to help the investigation, despite being way out of her jurisdiction. Suspects include the agent who threw the party, the "hottest man in Hollywood" and another starlet.

There are much worse soft core films available. I did figure out the killer long before the end, but that is not unusual for me, as I have watched many of these. The sex scenes are a little dark, but short enough not to get boring, and the sex is part of the plot. The acting is above average for the genre.

Click on the image below for more info.

Naked Ambition DVD (2005)

Allura Eden 15


Jessica Drake 24


Jewel Valmont 31


Jacklyn Lick 26













The Halle Berry collages below were made from a 1920x1080 source.

Film clip (960x540)



Halle Berry bonus (Not from Aesthete)

Introducing Dorothy Dandridge










Here's our take on Scoop's film clips from "Born".

A little breastage from Alison Brie, before she gets the big stomach.


Azalea Davis with a nice outdoor topless scene.


The twin towers of the Costello twins Julie and Shawnie.

These scenes were kind of dark, but we did what we could with them.








Notes and collages

The Quiet


Edie Falco






Walk Hard


Truthfully, I don't usually like movies like Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, but this spoof of tribute movies and the performers in them was hilarious, and I really enjoyed it.

The movie tells the story of Dewey Cox (John C. Reilly), a fictional musician whose songs changed the world.

Starting with Dewey as a kid who accidentally cuts his brother in half with a machete, it follows Dewey through the 60's, 70's and up to modern times. He manages to sleep with 411 women, have three wives, 22 kids, 14 step-kids, his own TV show, and was friends with everyone from Elvis to the Beatles. He got addicted to, and kicked, every drug known to man, but still managed to become a national treasure.

This thing is funny, takes pot-shots at a lot of stars including of course Johnny Cash but many more as well, and also contains a lot of cameos by people you'll recognize. A great and really well done comedy.









Mischa Barton. If you are a fan of hers, you may want to skip these, as they will destroy your illusions and leave you unable to masturbate for weeks.


One more of Bai Ling from the Crank 2 set. I'm not sure what you can see beneath her jeans, but I thought you might want to research it for yourself.


It's Bai Ling again. That woman is everywhere. This time she's kayaking with Pink. Ling wears a modest bikini, but Pink shows some bum action.


Olga Kurylenko in a French Fashion Mag



Film Clips

The curiosity items of the day are a couple of stage performances. In this case they are not from the legitimate theater or opera, but from burlesque.

Valentina Cervi in Rien sur Robert (1999)

Veronique Genest in "Serie noir: La nuit du flingueur" (late 1980s)

A second clip of Martine Stedil in Barbed Wire Dolls (1975 WIP film from Jess Franco)

Emilie Duquenne in The Housekeeper (2002)

Ashley Scott in Strange Wilderness (2008)  (She's wearing pasties.)

Anouk Grinberg in Mon homme (1995)

Two women from Carried Away (1996): Amy Locane and Amy Irving.

Another take on Mila Kunis in Boot Camp (2008). Sample right.
Alice Evans in The Escort. (1998) The sample to the right and the one below are not collectible. They function only to help you determine whether you want the film clip.
Claire Skinner in The Escort (1998)