Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Junior is in transit, so I'm batting leadoff today.
He returns tomorrow.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
"Careful, He May Be Watching"
Careful, He May Be Watching (1987) is another Classic Era porn,
this time with three superstars. Seka, Kay Parker and Shannah McCullough
combined have 389 credits at IMDB. The story is a simple one. Seka is married to
Mike Horner, an airline pilot, who is trying to talk her into a three way, and
has the hots for a new stewardess, Shannah McCullough. Hubby would be amazed to
know that, during the day, Seka puts on a wig and makes porno films. Her
director talks her into trying a girl/girl with Kay Parker, and she finally
agrees to the three-way with hubby and McCullough.
Parker was 43 in this film. Although she is best known for Taboo, this is
considered one of her better films. Seka, who also co-produced and co-directed,
was 33, and McCullough was the baby at 27. Everyone shows everything of course,
with Seka in most of the scenes containing nudity. IMDB readers have this at 5.7
of 10, which is a respectable showing for a hard core. It won Best Film at the
AVN awards. The transfer is too bright and lacks saturation and contrast, but is
a fairly clean 4/3 transfer. This is a C+, as a top notch couples hard core.
Shanna McCullough (
Kay Parker (
I'm away from my computer, and I'm not sure if these have run before. If so, no
real harm done:
Anna Nicole Smith in Skyscraper (1,
Anna Nicole Smith in To The Limit. (1,
Hsu Chi, aka Qi Shu, the babe from The
Transporter, in some explicit activity. (1,
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Things Behind the Sun" (2001)
This drama features Kim Dickens in a hot threesome and To Die For's Alison
Follan in a hot love scene.
Dickens: nude love scene, distant gyno-cam.
Folland: breasts nude love scene.
Elizabeth Pena: braless pokies.
"Mortal Challenge" (1996)
Roger Corman sci-fi reminiscent of the Arnie classic The Running Man except with
Calderoni: braless pokies.
(7) Korrine St.
groupie in topless love scene.
"Green Aka Whatever" (1998)
Indie druggie-road movie made by a bunch of slackers. Despite the lead actress
Dana Millican whose character sleeps with three guys and is featured half-naked
on the videobox cover, in the movie she wears more clothes than a nun in the
Millican: not nude whatsoever.
(11) Kim North: major
pokies but they look fake.
Dreadful MTV comedy based on the premise that teen pregnancy is funny.
Pasternak: underwear only.
(13) Sadie LeBlanc:
(14) Melody Johnson:
in orange bikini with Sadie.
(15) Carolyn Guff:
sexy caboose shot.
The Outer Limits (1995). Again no nudity because it's the tamer syndicated
episodes. In particular in episode "The Origin of Species"
a scene of four topless women was re-shot with their arms crossed over their
(i) episode "The Origin of Species".
(17) Kathleen Duborg:
arms over boobs, then on floor.
Spencer-Nairn: arms over boobs.
(19) Clare Lapinskie:
arms over boobs.
(20) Terri Lynn
Ibisoglu: arms over boobs.
(ii) episode "Nightmare".
(21) Kerry Sandomirsky:
bra-less pokies while tied up.
(22) Brandy Ledford:
tight t-shirt while tied up.
(iii) episode "Lithia".
(23) Claire Rankin: bare
shoulders in love scene.
(24) Dora Kaskanis:
upskirt panty-wedgie in the aussie film "Head On" (1998) (possible body
Loridans: slight pokies tied up in "Video Murders" (1988)
Kruger: classic full frontal in "Little Mother" (1973).
(27) Unknowns: some topless
cheerleaders in "Gimme an F" (1984). The non-topless one with the long
blonde hair sitting on top of the
box may be Lisa Wilcox of Nightmare on Elm Street fame.
||We have to get Cat Chaser on DVD. How often does a
Hollywood star do a spread beaver shot, as Kelly did in this film, shown here in
non-DVd caps that only hint of the ultimate glory.|
|Dann's usual cool collages from 100 Women|
|Susan McIver (1,
||in 1974's Policewomen, from Herr Haut|
||The sexy WWE star in a see-through. If I remember
her correctly from GLOW, she didn't have that kind of chest. I think she was
Tina Moretti, or something like that, and was the GLOW champ for a while.|
News in white. Pat's coments in yellow.
Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed "Baghdad Bob" al-Sahaf may be out of a
job, but he's still in demand. Britain's Sun tabloid reports that a UK record
producer is mixing some of his outrageous boasts, such as "God will roast their
stomachs in Hell," into a dance track that clubs are already clamoring for. And
a former Iraqi general says that Sahaf is in hiding and wants to give himself up
and go to Egypt. He said Sahaf has a lot of money stashed in a bank there, and
he "loves those Egyptian women very, very much."
* At least, he TELLS them he loves them very, very
much...And he TELLS them he has a lot of money stashed in the bank.
* For all the lies he's told those women, God will roast his stomach in Hell.
* "God Will Roast Their Stomachs In Hell"?...Is that a cover of an Ozzy
* Any man who could do that much unfounded boasting was bound to end up as a
With the Romanian economy suffering, prostitutes are doing their bit to help
hard-up clients. In the town of Hunedoara, hookers are offering credit
accounts. You can "do it" now and pay later in full, or pay it out in
installments. One girl said it's worked very well because she stands outside
the factory on payday to insure they make their installment payments.
* If they don't, what does she repossess?
* It's no big deal: she'd be standing outside the factory on payday anyway.
* Sometimes, she has to bring her whip and get rough...And that adds even more
to their bill.
* She's like the government: she takes her cut before their wives even see
* It's like buying a used car: you're screwed once, and you pay for it for 36
Researchers from Iowa State University and the Texas Department of Human
Services proved that violent song lyrics can trigger violent feelings. 500
college students were given psychological tests and after listening to songs
about violence, they showed an increase in aggression. The style of song - rap,
heavy metal, or whatever - didn't matter. Listeners even had more violent
thoughts after hearing funny
violent songs, like Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue" and Weird Al Yankovich's
"The Night Santa Went Crazy," about Santa massacring his reindeer.
* But if they listen to enough Weird Al Yankovich,
they're able to plead insanity.
* Some songs with nonviolent lyrics made men feel violent, if they were by 'N
* So it's a good thing the lyrics of most songs are completely unintelligible.
* But what gave the students the most violent thoughts was telling them they
had to stop downloading free songs.