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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior is in Kentucky or some such place, and I , Uncle Scoopy, am your EmCee for a while.

Boy, here's some good news. Tom Green is making another movie. The title is Stealing Harvard. The really good news: he shouldn't have to worry about sophomore slump.

Silly.  A new Italian Opera about Bill Clinton.

Spiderman set the all-time box-office weekend record by nearly 30%. No film had ever come close to an opening weekend of $100 million. The record was $90.3m. Spiderman had $114 million. The audience included equal parts male and females, thus indicating it will rise above the fan-boy films, and it included equal parts of people over and under 25, indicating wide demographic appeal. Impressive.




The final installment from the new issue of Celebrity Sleuth, which is dedicated to divas.

  • Mary J. Blige (1, 2)
  • Aaliyah (1, 2, 3)
  • Li'l Kim
  • Eve
  • Kelis
  • Dita von Teese, Marilyn Manson's latest flame. Now I see why Manson dumped Rose McGowan. Too tan. (1, 2)


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


Tonight, we have two Red Shoe diaries episodes, both from Volume 19, but first some announcements and a call for help.

* I did take a look at the early Lucy Lawless CD that ICMS mentioned. Not only did it have no exposure, but the two shorts with Lucy did not have her on screen for a significant time.

* If anyone has an online source for Region 2 Spanish DVDs, I would very much like the URL.


"As She Wishes"

  • Red She Diaries 19: As She Wishes  features Amber Smith, with many of the scenes in bright sunlight, and often nude, but there were very few frames worth capping. The film was plagued with most of the usual faults of this series, namely too many cross-fades, too many extreme close-ups, bad focus, and lots of motion blur. Yet, we do see her breasts, and her buns often enough for me to create a few images.

    The plot is worse than usual. Amber washes ashore onto a nearly deserted island, and is rescued by the only other inhabitant. They get it on, supposedly enjoying being completely abandoned, but when her domineering boyfriend finds her in his yacht, she swims right back to him. Call this a D+, technically no worse than many in the series, but with a lame plot and very little passion.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Amber Smith ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 )



Red She Diaries 19: Weightless  features Darya Povarenova, who shows buns and breasts. The story, as near as I can make it, must have been submitted posthumously to "Red Shoe" by her, because she dies in it. There are three time frames, interspersed. She narrates all of the tale, I guess from the grave, she is on a spaceship with her lover (the two were in astronaut training together) and they are running out of oxygen, and she has flashbacks of their previous relationship together. On the spaceship, they are attempting tantric sex until the oxygen runs out, and everything is dark and blue. The past is oversaturated, and sort of orange. I had a lot more trouble getting useful images from this one, as it has all the problems of As She Wishes, and also strange lighting. D-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Darya Povarenova (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Graphic Response

    • Tanya Roberts in a film I like to think of as the official Funhouse entertainment, "Beastmaster"

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.


    Helcrom was one of the original contributors to the Fun House, back in the day. If memory serves, he was the first contributor ever to submit personal, logo'ed work. He's still at it, now having produced more than 1200 colorful and fun collages.

    Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run

    Renee Amman in Ladykiller

    Charlie Spradling in Johnny Skidmarks

    Barbara Bach in Force 10 from Navarone

    Angie Everhart in Garden of Evil

    Jeanne Millar in Ladykiller

    Sara Peterson in Garden of Evil

    Monique Parent in Ladykiller


    Not a lot of nudity in today's caps.

    Melanie Griffith

    Cecil B Demented is a movie about making an independent movie. It's a shocker. Melanie Griffith plays a conventional actress that is kidnapped to star in the movie. No nudity, but you can see what wonders medicine can achieve these days.

    Brandy Sanders

    Brandy Sanders is in Demolition Man for about 10 seconds and demonstrates why you have to be very careful about dialing wrong
    numbers when using a video phone. Brief, low quality nudity.

    Attila the Hun

    Attila the Hun was originally, I think, a mini-series under another name. In Australia we saw it as a movie. Some brief see-through nudity during a Roman orgy. Kirsty Mitchell looks very sexy but doesn't show anything.

    Amanda Schull

    No nudity by Amanda Schull in Center Stage, a clone of Fame, just nice caps.

    Alison Eastwood

    Some mild pokies by Alison Eastwood in If You Only Knew. One more.

    Christina Ricci

    Continuing with the pokies, a very skinny Christina Ricci displayed a left pokie on The Tonight Show about a week ago. Very pretty in pink.

    Aimee Guillot

    Some topless views of Aimee Guillot (1, 2) in the short film So, What Do You Think?

    The Third Walker

    Some topless views in The Third Walker of Andrée Pelletier and another unnamed actress.

    Rebecca Miller

    It looks like a nice view of Rebecca Miller's butt in Consenting Adults. Unfortunately, it has all the signs of being a body double.

    Out of Depth

    The nudity in Out of Depth comes from an unnamed stripper. Virginia Fiol and Josephine Butler are just eye candy.

    Shriek if You Knew What I Did Last Friday the 13th

    With a name like Shriek if You Knew What I Did Last Friday the 13th you know the movie is not to be taken seriously. It was a bit like
    Scary Movie but lacked the humour. No nudity but a bit of an upskirt by Majandra Delfino.

    Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye

    Another movie that didn't work was Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye. Some see-through butt of Lea Webster and a pokie by Jennifer Blanc.
    Melinda Songer and Kari Wuhrer (1, 2) are the eye candy.

    Film 1 : Piranha Blues

    Some topless nudity by Jade, Eva and Saturne in Film 1 : Piranha Blues. The play three prositutes and, with names like that, I wonder
    if that is their real-life occupation.

    Cutting Class

    Cutting Class is another teen flick. A very good upskirt by Jill Schoelen (1, 2, 3) and some unclear topless nudity by an unknown girl in the changing room. Brenda Lynn Klemme (1, 2)  is a cheerleader and removes her knickers to spark up the crowd. We get a nice view but it is probably a butt double.

    The Expendables

    Idalis DeLeon

    Scorpion's Week


    Scorpion's tribute to Jillian McWhirter, who I once called "The Streep of Shit", a capable actress and a classy woman who is almost always the best thing in the kind of films she makes.   (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)



    Mardi Gras for the Devil

    • Lydie Dernier . Don' feel left out if you have never heard of this. Me neither. But I'm always pleased to see Lydie without her bra.

    Love Street


    Ph D

    • Nina Bagusat in "Vater wieder willen: Rivalen" (1, 2)


    "The Rainbow". Best quality caps I have seen from this film, which includes abundant nudity.
    • Sammi Davis and Amanda Donohoe  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Sammi Davis without Amanda, or any of the other Rat Pack members

    Valerie Perrine

    rare caps from the immortal cinema classic, "Steambath", also featuring Dr Banner in his hulk-free state

    Kirstie Alley

    in a stage play "The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahogany". The celebrity community's resident Sherlocks, Fake Detective and Celebrity Sleuth, say these are really Kirstie.

     Have you seen her lately? She must weigh more than 200 lbs.

    Linda Lovelace the recently deceased porno legend from the cover of Leg Show - last year - 20 years after she left porn!

    Milla looking tres adorable

    Rhona Mitra with a breast on display

    Giu Montanarini (1, 2) One more example of Italy's greatest natural resource. Well, in principle, anyway. I have spent a big chunk of my life in Italy from Rome northward. I loved it there. Seriously thought about moving there at one time. I did like the women, because they were generally intelligent and full of spirit. But they never looked like these Italian movie and magazine babes.

    Miou-Miou  (1, 2, 3) in "Josepha"

    Emmanuelle Seigner  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) in "Detective"
    Belinda Chapple (1, 2, 3, 4) singer in the Aussie pop group, Bardot