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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Junior is in Kentucky or some such place, and I , Uncle Scoopy,
am your EmCee for a while.
Boy, here's some good news. Tom
Green is making another movie. The title is Stealing Harvard. The really
good news: he shouldn't have to worry about sophomore slump.
Silly. A new Italian
Opera about Bill Clinton.
Spiderman set the all-time box-office weekend record by nearly
30%. No film had ever come close to an opening weekend of $100 million. The
record was $90.3m. Spiderman had $114 million. The audience included equal
parts male and females, thus indicating it will rise above the fan-boy films,
and it included equal parts of people over and under 25, indicating wide
demographic appeal. Impressive.
The final installment from the new issue of Celebrity Sleuth,
which is dedicated to divas.
- Mary J. Blige (1,
- Aaliyah (1,
- Li'l Kim
- Dita von Teese, Marilyn Manson's latest flame. Now I see why Manson
dumped Rose McGowan. Too tan. (1,
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
Tonight, we have two Red Shoe diaries episodes, both from Volume
19, but first some announcements and a call for help.
* I did take a look at the early Lucy Lawless CD that ICMS
mentioned. Not only did it have no exposure, but the two shorts with Lucy did
not have her on screen for a significant time.
* If anyone has an online source for Region 2 Spanish DVDs, I
would very much like the URL.
"As She Wishes"
- Red She Diaries 19: As She Wishes features Amber Smith, with many of
the scenes in bright sunlight, and often nude, but there were very few frames
worth capping. The film was plagued with most of the usual faults of this
series, namely too many cross-fades, too many extreme close-ups, bad focus,
and lots of motion blur. Yet, we do see her breasts, and her buns often enough
for me to create a few images.
The plot is worse than usual. Amber washes ashore onto a nearly deserted
island, and is rescued by the only other inhabitant. They get it on,
supposedly enjoying being completely abandoned, but when her domineering
boyfriend finds her in his yacht, she swims right back to him. Call this a D+,
technically no worse than many in the series, but with a lame plot and very
- Amber Smith
Red She Diaries 19: Weightless features Darya Povarenova, who shows buns
and breasts. The story, as near as I can make it, must have been submitted
posthumously to "Red Shoe" by her, because she dies in it. There are three time
frames, interspersed. She narrates all of the tale, I guess from the grave, she
is on a spaceship with her lover (the two were in astronaut training together)
and they are running out of oxygen, and she has flashbacks of their previous
relationship together. On the spaceship, they are attempting tantric sex until
the oxygen runs out, and everything is dark and blue. The past is oversaturated,
and sort of orange. I had a lot more trouble getting useful images from this
one, as it has all the problems of As She Wishes, and also strange lighting. D-.Thumbnails
- Tanya Roberts in a film
I like to think of as the official Funhouse entertainment, "Beastmaster"
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
Helcrom was one of the original contributors to the Fun House, back in the day.
If memory serves, he was the first contributor ever to submit personal, logo'ed
work. He's still at it, now having produced more than 1200 colorful and fun
Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run
Renee Amman in Ladykiller
Charlie Spradling in Johnny Skidmarks
Barbara Bach in Force 10 from Navarone
Angie Everhart in Garden of Evil
Jeanne Millar in Ladykiller
Sara Peterson in Garden of Evil
Monique Parent in Ladykiller
Not a lot of nudity in today's caps.
Cecil B Demented is a movie about making an independent movie. It's a shocker.
Melanie Griffith plays a conventional
actress that is kidnapped to star in the movie. No nudity, but you can see what
wonders medicine can achieve these days.
Brandy Sanders is in Demolition Man for
about 10 seconds and demonstrates why you have to be very careful about dialing
numbers when using a video phone. Brief, low quality nudity.
Attila the Hun
Attila the Hun was originally, I think,
a mini-series under another name. In Australia we saw it as a movie. Some brief
see-through nudity during a Roman orgy.
Kirsty Mitchell looks very sexy but doesn't show anything.
No nudity by Amanda Schull in Center
Stage, a clone of Fame, just nice caps.
Some mild pokies by Alison Eastwood
in If You Only Knew. One more.
Continuing with the pokies, a very skinny
Christina Ricci displayed a left pokie on The Tonight Show about a week ago.
Very pretty in pink.
Some topless views of Aimee Guillot (1,
2) in the short film So, What Do You
The Third Walker
Some topless views in The Third Walker of
Andrée Pelletier and another unnamed
It looks like a nice view of Rebecca Miller's
butt in Consenting Adults. Unfortunately, it has all the signs of being a body
Out of Depth
The nudity in Out of Depth comes from an
unnamed stripper. Virginia Fiol and
Josephine Butler are just eye candy.
Shriek if You Knew What I Did Last Friday the 13th
With a name like Shriek if You Knew What I Did Last Friday the 13th you know the
movie is not to be taken seriously. It was a bit like
Scary Movie but lacked the humour. No nudity but a bit of an upskirt by
Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye
Another movie that didn't work was Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye. Some see-through butt
of Lea Webster and a pokie by
Melinda Songer and Kari Wuhrer (1,
2) are the eye candy.
Film 1 : Piranha Blues
Some topless nudity by Jade, Eva and Saturne in
Film 1 : Piranha Blues. The play three prositutes and, with names like that, I
if that is their real-life occupation.
Cutting Class is another teen flick. A very good upskirt by Jill Schoelen (1,
3) and some unclear topless nudity by
an unknown girl in the changing room. Brenda Lynn Klemme (1,
2) is a cheerleader and
removes her knickers to spark up the crowd. We get a nice view but it is
probably a butt double.
Scorpion's tribute to Jillian McWhirter, who I once called "The Streep of Shit",
a capable actress and a classy woman who is almost always the best thing in the
kind of films she makes. (1,
Mardi Gras for the Devil
- Lydie Dernier .
Don' feel left out if you have never heard of this. Me neither. But I'm
always pleased to see Lydie without her bra.
- Nina Bagusat in "Vater wieder willen: Rivalen"
"The Rainbow". Best quality caps I have seen from this film, which includes
Sammi Davis and Amanda Donohoe (1,
without Amanda, or any of the other Rat Pack members
|rare caps from the immortal cinema classic, "Steambath", also
featuring Dr Banner in his hulk-free state
|in a stage play "The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahogany".
The celebrity community's resident Sherlocks, Fake Detective and Celebrity
Sleuth, say these are really Kirstie.
Have you seen her lately? She must
weigh more than 200 lbs.
||the recently deceased porno legend from the cover of Leg Show -
last year - 20 years after she left porn!
||looking tres adorable
||with a breast on display
|Giu Montanarini (1,
||One more example of Italy's greatest natural resource. Well, in
principle, anyway. I have spent a big chunk of my life in Italy from Rome
northward. I loved it there. Seriously thought about moving there at one time. I
did like the women, because they were generally intelligent and full of spirit.
But they never looked like these Italian movie and magazine babes.
|Emmanuelle Seigner (1,
|Belinda Chapple (1,
||singer in the Aussie pop group, Bardot