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"Hidden Agenda"

Hidden Agenda (1998) is an espionage thriller that is set in Berlin after the wall fell. Since this one had no surprises for me even not knowing anything about it in advance, I really don't want to write a spoiler, but the plot revolves around a disk that contains names of everyone who informed for the East German Secret police, and everyone is after it. Everyone includes Andrea Roth, who has good pokies in a German Damenhemden, or women's shirt.

For me, every plot twist was telegraphed way in advance, and they had a lot of trouble ending it as well. They did create a unique form of torture for a long scene. The victim is strapped in a chair with arms restrained, and devices are attached to his eyelids to force them open. They dilate his pupils, then turn on floodlights to torture him. The transfer is a grainy, dark and undersaturated 4/3 transfer, which was so bad it made even Germany look dreary and boring. There was nothing seriously wrong with the acting, but the plot was just way too obvious. C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Andrea Roth (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "The Governess"

    The Governess (1998) was covered by both Scoop and I, but this was another case where my caps did not do this film justice, and I have to say that I enjoyed it more the second time around. Minnie Driver is a Jewess whose father dies, leaving the family hurting financially. Minnie takes a job as a governess to a Scottish family pretending to be a Christian. The father of the family is a scientist trying to discover the secret of "fixation" to make photos last more than a day. Minnie not only seduces him, but discovers the secret of fixation and becomes a master photographer, but the father takes all the credit. Portions of the film are beautifully shot, and Driver shows a breast in two scenes, and a great nude shot from the back. An unknown hooker shows a breast early in the film as well.

    IMDB readers say 6.3 of 10. It was a critical success with both Ebert and Berardinelli awarding three stars. On second watching, I think it was more the imagery that impressed me, as I remembered the story well. It is a costume drama, which is usually not my favorite genre, and I didn't mind this one, so it must be at least a C+.

  • Thumbnails

  • Minnie Driver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Hooker

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    To Gillian, on her 37th Birthday is a 1996 weeper with a better than average cast, including Michelle Pfeiffer and Claire Danes. It isn't bad for this type of movie (man can't move on after the death of his beloved wife), because it has at least one character that seems genuine (Danes), and Pfeiffer was absolutely radiant as the idealized memory of the dead wife. If I were you, though, I'd skip the rental.

    Although it is watchable if your significant other forces the issue, it is probably not the film of choice for the estrogen-challenged among us, based upon the following characteristics:

    • No beer drinking
    • No weapons
    • No killing of animals
    • No uncovered breasts
    • No rugby, football, boxing or other rough, manly sports
    • No large, powerful vehicles
    • Unmanly karaoke performances of Leo Sayre songs in wimpy falsettos by guys in white prom tuxes
    • Grown men engaged in delicate sand castle construction
    • Freddie Prinze Jr

    For you truly manly men, there were some buns from:

    • Claire Danes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Laurie Fortier (1, 2, 3)


    The new issue of Celebrity Sleuth is out, dedicated to songstresses. Here are some slips, see-throughs, and such.


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Julia Ormond topless in "Nostradamus" (1994). Now here's a cast for ya...Tchéky Karyo (official French guy of all movies), F. Murray Abraham, Rutger Hauer and Amanda Plummer! A regular smorgasbord of psycho actors!

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    So a couple weeks ago I was pissing and moaning 'bout the fact that Meg Foster, uber-cutie, got nekkid briefly, in the dark and from far, far away. Not so fast, a righteous reader of the Funhouse replied. What about "Adam at 6 A.M.?" he asks. Adam, indeed. Got a copy and sure enough, about five minutes into her first movie ever, done at the age of 22 or 23, Meg briefly but closely and clearly gives up the goodies. Three collages worth! First one has her rolling over in bed next to Michael Douglas (said to be his second movie), second has leaning over to light up a cigarette and third has her standing up to put on a bra (the clearest shot of the three). These are boobs-only caps, but there is the feel to this scene that it started out with much more Meg exposure but got trimmed back to fit a PG rating (for example, there are jump cuts between Meg about to show something and Michael's face...for no good reason except to show that he is bored out of his skull). How does one get ahold of the out-takes to such things?
    • Meg Foster (1, 2, 3)

    Next, a few collages from the 1986 movie The Vindicator (aka Frankenstein '88). This part of the -ATOR series of low budget scifi movies that followed in the footsteps of the Terminator. Not much to talk about here except for two babes of the nekkid variety: veteran actress Teri Austin getting out of a bubblebath to reveal bum and the side of one breast, and cute little Caroline Arnold showing boobs only. By the way, she looks seriously pissed off in the second collage because the main baddie has boffed her and thrown her away. Just shows how bad he is.


    Lana Clarkson is back. This time as the Babe in Bondage in 1985's "Barbarian Queen". Lana spends about 5 minutes of screen time tortured on a rack in a scene that has become somewhat of a cult classic.

    Anne Parillaud
    (1, 2)

    The French actress looking fantastic in "La Battant" (1983). (She was only about 23 at the time). Breasts in #1, breasts and bush in #2. By the way, Yanks know her best as the lead in the original "La Femme Nikita" movie.

    Dorothée Breif breast exposure in scenes from "Pile ou face" ("Heads or Tails") (1980).

    Gaëlle Legrand
    (1, 2)

    Tragic hair do, but lovely breasts. Also in scenes from "Pile ou face".

    Joanna Cassidy

    Topless in one of the best Sci-Fi flicks ever..."Blade Runner".

    On a side note, Scoop and I were recently talking about "Blade Runner" and we both agree, we LIKE the original theatrical release with Harrison Ford doing the voice over. In my mind, it's kinda the element that makes the movie. It's the closer. The voice over is what completes the homage to the classic 1950's, film noir, sleazeball detective movie, which is basically what Blade Runner is. It's been reported that Ford hated the voice over, and as a result purposely read the lines as poorly as possible thinking that if he did it badly enough, it wouldn't be used. Yet, if you look at the Deckard character, the unkempt, uncaring washout that drinks himself to sleep on the couch...Ford's dislike for the lines, and poor delivery are perfect! Do you think Deckard's inner monologue would be dramatic in any way? Of course not! It would be dull and monotone. This was a character that was sick of everything, including himself.

    Director's Cut vs. Original Theatrical Cut. This is an old debate so I won't go on too much, but...I think it would be a heck of a DVD if BOTH versions were available, with commentary from Ridley Scott and Harrison Ford comparing the two. Especially since Ford and Scott have both been quoted as having different views on the "Is Deckard a Replicant" issue. It's too late for a 20th Anniversary release, but maybe in 5 years?

    Ludivine Sagnier The young French actress bares her breasts in a love scene from "Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brûlantes" aka "Water Drops On Burning Rocks" (1999).

    Mónica Randall Topless in scenes from "Soleil rouge" (1971).

    Ursula Andress The original Bond babe also going topless in "Soleil rouge".

    Enigma 2001

    It’s March 1943 the outcome of World War 2 is in the balance and likely to be influenced by the ability of Allied convoys to successfully run the gauntlet of German U Boats in the Atlantic. The convoys are aided by the deciphering of German naval communications being carried out at Station X in Bletchley Park. Suddenly the Germans change the communication code (Shark) used by their Enigma cipher machines. Tom Jericho (Dougray Scott the mathematical genius who first broke Shark is recalled to Station X. Jericho and his team of code-breakers is given the task of breaking back into Shark before the convoy sails into the waiting U boats. With the involvement of a spy suspected everyone at Station X is under scrutiny from Wigram, a member of the British Intelligence Service. In addition to breaking the German Enigma, Jericho has a personal enigma to solve. Claire Romily (Saffron Burrows), the girl who broke his heart and caused the nervous breakdown that forced him to leave Station X has disappeared without trace. He enlists the help of her friend Hester (Kate Winslet) to unravel Claire’s disappearance and possible involvement with another code-breaker at Station X while avoiding the clutches of the overbearing Wigram. Jericho, more accustomed to intense brain action, finds himself a reluctant action hero in a race against time to resolve both enigmas.

    Unlike many war movies there is no glorification of the characters. They are depicted how they really were – a group of extremely intelligent people who sat around drinking tea and playing chess waiting the arrival of intercepts to be deciphered. The movie and acting is good and the technical features of Enigma are dealt with in an informative but non-complicated manner. If you’re looking for an action packed war movie avoid this. The action is character driven rather than militaristic. However this is a pretty good thriller.


    Saffron Burrows is briefly topless in the sex scene. Kate Winslet didn't get nude! Most likely due to her being pregnant at the time of filming.

    Historical Note

    The Germans considered Enigma to be unbreakable. An Enigma machine resembled a cross between a portable typewriter and a small cash register. It had three rotors on a shaft with an alphabet around the outside. Inside each was electrical wiring that connected the position for each letter on one side to that for a different letter on the other. Each of the rotors made a different set of transpositions. When the operator pressed a key, electric current flowed through the three rotors in turn, each of which transposed the letter. The signal was then “reflected” back through the rotors, which transposed it three more times. It was transposed once more at the plugboard before the current finally lit a lettered porthole on the lampboard. Enigma was further complicated by the use of “daily keys” – the choice and order on the shaft, the position of movable rings on each rotor and the plugboard connections. The daily keys were changed every eight hours at the height of the war.

    The decoding of German signals owed much to the capture of an Enigma machine and naval codebooks from a U-boat. Early version computers were used to work out possible combinations using a menu of potential positions drawn by mathematicians.

    Source: The World At Arms, Readers Digest

    • Saffron Burrows (1, 2, 3)

    María Fernanda Callejón
    (1, 2)

    Full frontal poses from the Argentinean television actress.

    Tara Reid
    (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps by The Night of Tara in "Joise and The Pussycats". In his email he mentioned that he tried to use frames were Tara had weird facial expression and/or serious pokies. And folks lemme tell ya, there were plenty of both.

    Nicole Ari Parker Full frontal nudity in scenes from "Mute Love" (1998). Most folks will recognize her from "Remember the Titans" and the Showtime series "Soul Food".

    Sabrina Ferilli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    No nudity in this batch of scans. But the Italian babe still looks mighty nice.