"Ghost Ship"

Ghost Ship (2002) is almost a good film. It is a typical haunted house plot, transplanted to a derelict ocean liner, and a salvage crew out to get rich. The opening scene is very effective, and the ship setting makes for stylish ambiance, but the salvage crew needed more chemistry. The way they interacted, we wonder how they managed to live for so long together on a small tug. While the scares were few and far between, there was some doubt about who would survive. This did hold my interest to the end, but a much better picture could have been made.

Francesca Rettondini, as a ghost, shows breasts and buns luring one of the salvage crew to his death. IMDB readers have it at 5.5 of 10. Ebert, 2 1/2, Berardinelli 2, and Rotten Tomatoes 12%. Had they put as much work into the characters as they did into the set, it would have been much better. C-.

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  • Francesca Rettondini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Die Another Day"

    Die Another Day (2002) is the latest Bond adventure with Pierce Brosnan as Bond, and Halle Berry as an American agent. Bond must solve a conspiracy that starts and ends in North Korea, with side trips to Cuba and Iceland. While the film has all of the required elements of a Bond film, including chases, escapes, inferred sex, lasers, gadgets and clearly evil bad guys, there are a few new twists. For one, the Bond series usually begins with the conclusion of a previous assignment, but the Korean plot is the entire film this time. Moneypenny gets to have sex with Bond, if only in a fantasy, and M, and her American counterpart are dumber and less competent than in previous films.

    Berry is probably topless in one very dark sex scene with Brosnan, but arms manage to cover the wobbly bits. She shows cleavage aplenty in most of her costumes, and a lot of leg. Berry, as the NSA agent was badder and smarter than the typical Bond girl, and carried much of the weight of the film. In fact, for much of the film, the story could have been about her, rather than Bond.

    IMDB readers have it at 6.4 of 10. It grossed $160m in the US alone, against a budget of $142. Rotten Tomatoes records 58% positive, reflecting a critical split. Berardinelli was not impressed at 2 stars, while Ebert found it worthy addition to the franchise, at three stars. I tend to agree with Ebert. Some of the stunt work was very impressive, especially a couple of sword fights. The film looked great in a Widescreen transfer, and was everything I personally expect from a Bond film. Granted, I am a sucker for these, but I was entertained start to finish. This is a C. A good, solid 007 effort.

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  • Halle Berry (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Naked Lies (1998)

    Do you know how difficult it is to remember which Hugh Grant movie you're referring to - "um, yeah, it's the one where he plays the stammering, insincere, immature, smart-mouth, callous upper-middle class twit who comes to a measure of redemption".

    Well, if you think it's difficult to separate Hugh Grant movie in your mind, imagine how hard it would be to describe a specific Shannon Tweed movie. At least with Baby Huey, you can name the co-star. "Oh, yeah, it's the one with Sandra Bullock, or Renee Zellweger, or whoever". That isn't possible with Tweed. You never heard of her co-stars. I recognized Steven Bauer, but he had about three lines. Jeez, he must have some heavy-duty child support to pay, or something, to lend his name to this kind of movie. So anyway, this is one where Tweed plays a law enforcement officer who goes undercover and  "under the covers" to "bust" some baddies. She does some lame fight scenes and has some sex shot through a vaseline-coated lens. Then almost everyone dies and the film ends abruptly, in what seems to be the middle of a scene.

    I can't remember any more than that, because it's been nearly twenty minutes since I watched it. I can say this. If you like ultra-violent crime stories filled with nearly-naked middle-aged women , this is your Holy Grail.

    • Tracy Tweed's sister (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Mineko Mori (Isn't she the test that Kirk cheated on at Starship Academy) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • another chick. I don't know who she is, but unlike the other two she is less than 40 years old and actually did frontal nudity.

    Forbidden Sins (1998)

    This is another Shannon Tweed film which is trailered on the one above. Tuna wrote a brief review some time ago.


    Charlie's Angels 2: The Wrath of The Thin Man (2003)

    This movie, real name Full Throttle, is also trailered on Naked Lies. No nudity in this case.

    • Cameron Diaz (1, 2)



    Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.


    Other crap:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Angie Everhart, the sexy redhead actress/model topless and gettin' it on in scenes from the very lame installment to the Substitute series, "The Substitute 4: Failure Is Not an Option".

    • Charlotte Gainsbourg, the UK actress bares breasts in a bathtub scene from "Love, etc." (1996).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today the old time machine takes us way back to 1969 and the biker flick "Cycle Savages".

    This movie starred Bruce Dern, but the attraction here is Melody Patterson. This chick was cute and sexy and probably best known for the television series "F Troop" which ran from 1965-67 where she played Wrangler Jane and thrilled many a young boy.

    So here's scenes from "Cycle Savages" with the beautiful Melody and naked scenes, which did not reveal the good parts, but nonetheless she was a lovely lady.

    Blandine Bury
    (1, 2, 3)

    Very lovely toplessness and full frontal nudity in scenes from the French movie "Choses secrètes" aka "Secret Things" (2002).

    Sabrina Seyvecou Also baring breasts in scenes from "Choses secrètes".

    Mädchen Amick Breasts, bum and bush in scenes from "Dream Lover" (1994).

    Marie Gillain
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless in scenes from "L'Appât" (1995). In link #3 she is joined in the tub by Marie Ravel.

    Marie Ravel One more of Marie in the bath tub scene from "L'Appât".

    Milla Jovovich Another excellent (and huge, 675k) collage by Dann. Here is Milla topless and showing some pokies in scenes from one of my favorite Sci-Fi movies, "The Fifth Element".

    Lindsay Marsh ZonononZor takes us all the way back to 1974 with this collage featuring topless scenes from the movie "Can You Keep It Up for a Week?".

    Jaime Pressly
    (1, 2, 3)

    Here are 'caps of Jaime topless, in scenes from the movie that brought her into the spotlight, "Poison Ivy: The New Seduction" (1997). The sexy actress is best known for making a career out of playing white trash bimbos, and of course as the call collect angel.

    Debbe Dunning
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

    WOW! Amazing cleavage, pus great leg and upskirt views in scenes from "The Misery Brothers" (1995). Most folkd remember her from the Tim Allen show, "Home Improvement" (she was the "Tool Time" girl that replaced Pam Anderson).

    Sienna Guillory
    (1, 2, 3)

    Very nice 'caps by the Skin-meister from the recent USA mini-series "Helen of Troy". Here is Sienna (as Helen) showing her bare bum.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Stocks And Bondage - Thursday, a Melbourne, Australia, company called the Daily Planet became the first legal brothel to be listed on the stock exchange, and shares doubled in price on its first day. Hired spokeswoman Heidi Fleiss pitched the brothel as a five-star hotel that is recession-proof because it helps relieve stress. She said everyone knows sex is a smart investment, so "obviously, the price is going to go up."

  • And if it stops going up, they'll do whatever it takes to get it up!
  • There's also tremendous turnover, since it's the only five-star hotel that rents by the hour.
  • Just what stock market investors need: another way to get screwed.

    He's A Straight Shooter - A mob trial in Manhattan took a weird twist when a Mafia turncoat told jurors that he'd gunned down his boss because he was gay. Anthony Capo said the New Jersey-based DeCavalcante family, described as the "real-life Sopranos," feared their acting boss John "Johnny Boy" D'Amato would be outted, after his girlfriend confessed that he'd been picking up men in New York gay clubs. Capo said he had to be whacked because "nobody's gonna respect us if we have a gay homosexual boss sitting down discussing La Cosa Nostra business."

  • Hit men can't respect gay guys! Homosexuality is immoral!
  • What if he was giving some guy the kiss of death, and he got aroused?!
  • Behind his back, they called him the "Odd Father."
  • Johnny Boy was more like a boy soprano.
  • He had a secret bodybuilder boyfriend named "Muscles" Marinara.

    They Look Like Baked Potatoes - Supermodel Elle MacPherson reportedly spent thousands of dollars on a custom-built, lead-lined bassinet for her baby to shield him from high-altitude cosmic rays on airplanes. She also allegedly wraps herself and her five-year-old son in foil blankets. A spokesman for British Airways said cosmic rays are all around us, the plane protects passengers from radiation, and there's no evidence that a baby needs special protection from cosmic rays.

  • Especially if its mom is a supermodel, which makes it a SUPERBABY!
  • Still, what could be healthier for a baby than a lead-lined bassinet?
  • Elle must've had a lead-lined bassinet herself, and spent a lot of time licking it.
  • At least carrying it does tone her upper arms.


  • Former Van Halen singer David Lee Roth saw a man fleeing police and climbing the fence of his Pasadena home, fetched a shotgun, and held him at gunpoint from his balcony until police arrived... Police didn't arrest Dave for having the shotgun because as we all know, he CAN'T get arrested these days.

    The Pasadena Police department offer a different version of the events that took place. Click here for the story