Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

"Sweet Hearts Dance"

Sweet Hearts Dance (1988) is a lightweight romantic comedy that was not very comical and not very romantic, but had one very strong point in its favor. Susan Sarandon gives several peeks at her nipples. Sarrandon and hubby Don Johnson are childhood sweethearts who have been married for 15 years and have kids. She has grown up, and he hasn't. He and his best friend, Jeff Daniels, act more like teenagers than adults, despite the fact that Daniels has become the High School principal.

Sarandon and Johnson separate ... boy finds girl. Yes, it is the pat Hollywood formula, with nothing remarkable about it. IMDB readers say 5.5 of 10. Ebert awarded two stars, and I saw C. It is technically sound, but only die-hard romantic comedy fans will be entertained. Many romantic comedies are "chick flicks," but this one scores the same with both sexes.

  • Thumbnails

  • Susan Sarandon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Unknown

    "The Last Temptation of Christ"

    The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) Scoopy wrote extensively about this Martin Scorsese film when the Criterion Edition was released. It is about Christ's final temptation on the cross, where he is tempted by a quiet life with Mary Magdaline. The film is not attempting to make a bible pageant, but rather deals with the struggle of good vs. evil that is within each of us -- even Christ. It takes some poetic license with events in the 4 Gospels, but does an excellent job in my opinion. The Christian Right was in a furor over this film because they claimed it was sacrilegious to depict Christ being tempted, and because there was nudity. The temptations of Christ in the desert, in the Garden of Gethsemini and on the cross are found in the bible. It is difficult for me to believe that a prostitute like Mary Magdaline would not expose body parts. In short, there is nothing any more sacrilegious in this film than in the bible itself. As far as their basic quarrel with nudity, let me quote Woody Harrelson in The People vs Larry Flynt. "If they have a problem with the female body, let them complain to the manufacturer."

    The above is mostly recycled, as I couldn't find it in the old reviews. What I failed to mention then was that the film was beautifully filmed and painstakingly researched to get the proper look of the time. The transfer is excellent, and my first attempt at capping it was not very impressive. We see Barbara Hershey topless, buns, and even a hint of bush as Mary Magdaline, and several unknowns are either topless or completely naked. I am torn on a grade, but any film that generated this much controversy, and looks this good, was seen by many, and is therefor a B-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Barbara Hershey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Macbeth was made in 1971. It is a visually striking rendering of the familiar tragedy - using minimalist techniques to represent the isolation of old Scotland. A castle on a rock, surrounded by nothing. A few men riding, dwarfed by an endless landscape. The atmosphere is dreary, creepy, pervaded with dread and the imminence of evil.

    The film was notable for three other things:

    (1) the actors tried to speak their lines as if they were real characters rather than as reciters of poetry. This may not have been ideal for the nuances of iambic pentameter, but it turned the film into kind of a fresh populist interpretation, which was quite appropriate in the post-Woodstock pre-Watergate world from which it sprang, in which stuffy conventions were being challenged.

    (2) the movie was directed by the infamous Roman Polanski, genius auteur, director of Chinatown, lover of very young women, and husband of the slain Sharon Tate.

    (3) There was quite a bit of nudity. The pagan witches were naked, and Lady Macbeth's sleepwalking scene was performed stark naked. Many people claimed that these were authentic period details. I don't know about that, but I know that the naked Lady Macbeth in question was the stunning dancer/actress Francesca Annis, who would later come to some fame on both sides of the Atlantic as the Masterpiece Theater version of Lillie Langtry. Today, at 58, she is still a fox, and is romanrically involved with Ralph Fiennes. Fiennes is 18 years younger than Francesca, and one of the world's most eligible bachelors, so the fact that he is with her tells you far more than I could say with thousands of words.


    And you think you are in a strange business

    I guess because one never get this shit out of one's blood, I was looking at some corporate financial reports yesterday, and I noticed that Blockbuster reported total first quarter revenues of $1.33 billion, and EBITDA of $175.3 million. EBITDA is a concept used by many companies to estimate true operating earnings. The acronym stands for earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization.

    Now, a separate report on Blockbuster declared that late fees represent 13.4% of their revenue. 13.4% of $1.33 billion is $178.2 million. Therefore, if I understand their pro-forma correctly, if every customer returned their videos on time, the company would have negative operating cash flow, since the total amount of pre-tax operating earnings ($175 million) is actually less than the earnings from late fees ($178 million).

    That is one strange business, where they run the entire day-to-day business for free so they can get rich off late fees.

    My heartfelt thanks go out to all you schmucks who bring your tapes back late. If it weren't for you, Blockbuster would have to raise their prices substantially - to cover the $175 million they would need 13% more revenue. But you can't just raise prices 13% to get 13% more revenue, because when you raise prices you lower unit volume. I don't know their exact price/volume equation, but I assume they'd probably have to raise prices by 25% to cover the shortfall caused by the lack of late fees.

    So thanks, guys. That's about a buck a rental, and I rent about two hundred per year, so you guys are savin' me some righteous bucks.


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Part 2 of Lana Clarkson's fabulous Boobs in "Deathstalker".

    • Lana Clarkson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Amy Irving
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Rare full frontal nudity from the former Mrs. Steven Spielberg in scenes from "Carried Away" (1996). The only downside...Dennis Hopper is also full frontal. Vidcaps by Aesthete.

    Muriel Baumeister
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The Austrian actress topless in shower and love scenes from "Meine Tochter darf es nie erfahren" (2000), by DeVo.

    Eva Herzigova
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 )

    A artistic spread of B&W pics from the May 02 issue of Numéro magazine. Links 4, 9 and 11 have breast expsoure.

    Meg Ryan A nice scan with LOTS of cleavage.

    Jennifer Love Hewitt Not showing a thing at the "Spider-Man" premiere.

    Sally Field Full dorsal nudity in "Stay Hungry" (1976).

    The Funnies
    I think Scoop said it best in his email...there must be some irony here somewhere.

    "Baldwin to Teach Theater Class".

    Celeb News

    Hey Scoops,

    There's been a load of stuff in the UK tabloids in the last 2 days about a new production of "The Rite Of Spring" by Ballet Preljocaj - mostly because the lead ballerina has a ten minute nude solo!

    All the pics in the mass market papers are censored, but the editor of Guardian Unlimited - the web site for the high brow broadsheet The Guardian -obviously feels no need to get the airbrush out! It's a small pic but probably worth seeing. Click here for the pic and story


    Other News...

    Even though most most people are convinced he's dead, that doesn't stop The King from Taking Care of is some recent Elvis news. Apparently a website is selling what they claim to be a lost recording of Priscilla discussing intimate details of her sex life with Elvis.