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"Dogma",
from Johnny Web
I generally agree with
what Junior wrote above about Dogma. I, too,
couldn't wait to see it, and was disappointed.
For me, the problem is that it is all talk. It
isn't a script at all. It is a two hour
monologue. Since nobody will listen to a two hour
monologiue, he created some characters to deliver
the different lines, but you don't get involved
with them. They all speak in the exact same tone,
whether they are angels or devils or humans. You
could take pretty much any line and give it to
any other character and it would be about the
same.
The comedy isn't really
meaningful unless you are Catholic and actually
understand and are familiar with the beliefs they
are questioning. Then it's probably a lot of fun,
because they ask the same questions that you've
been asking yourself since you were a kid, and
they will end up reaffirming your faith, not
debunking it. In fact, the complete lack of an
edge is one of the great disappointments of the
movie. Once Kevin Smith was the great hope for
the future of film comedies, but the torch has
obviously now been passed to Trey Parker.
Personally, I only
laughed once or twice in the whole movie. I did
enjoy the fact that God banished the
insubordinate angels to the only place worse than
hell - Wisconsin. Unfortunately, that must make
it quite difficult for him to punish sinners from
Wisconsin, since they are actually grateful to be
in hell and away from those cheesehead things,
and can look forward to a pleasant,
bratwurst-free eternity.
The filmmakers also made
the assumption that the most terrifying thing in
the universe is Alanis Morrissette's voice. I
guess Kevin is too young to have heard of Yoko
Ono.
You'd think he'd be
familiar with Celine Dion, however.
Forget about Salma.
She's beautiful and charming, as always, but she
didn't show much of anything. However these
upskirts of Linda Fiorentino, which are invisible
to the naked eye (she's in rapid motion, hence
the blurring of her legs), and which I found by
mistake, made my entire week! Fiorentino (1,
2)
Salma
"Galaxy
Quest", from Johnny Web
Comedy recipe: take
one-third "The Last Starfighter",
one-third "Spaceballs", and one third
"Star Trek", and spin them all together
into a plot about aliens who ask the crew of a TV
series (obviously modeled after Star Trek) to
help them defeat their evil enemy. The aliens
don't understand the concept of theater or
television, and think that the old "Galaxy
Quest" re-runs are historical documentaries.
They carry the jokes off
pretty well. If you like the description of the
premise, you'll probably like the film. It's
actually an old-fashioned heart warming comedy,
in the true tradition of Mel Brooks. The parodies
of Star Trek are affectionate, not harsh. In
fact, this film, like Dogma, really has no edge
at all. No nudity either.
One more comment. Every
time I see somebody terrific in a movie, I look
up who it is. It seems like it always turns out
to be the same guy, and I never recognize him
from film to film. He does it again here, and his
name is Sam Rockwell as "Crewmember 6".
He is now my awardee of this year's Don Cheadle
Award for being brilliant in every movie,
stealing every scene he's ever been in, and
nobody knows WTF he is. (He's in the middle of
the lower image)
Quite aesthetic visuals
for a Brooksian comedy. The entire set design is
silver and burgundy. Sigourney Weaver
"Being
John Malkovich", from Johnny Web
This movie is a strange
experience. It is a true rarity - an arty movie
which is a genuine comedy. It features tremendous
characterizations from the four leads (including
John Malkovich as himself), a hilarious cameo
from Sean Penn, and some brilliantly imaginative
concepts. Plus the best puppetry you'll ever see.
If you don't already
know the premise, John Cusack plays a puppeteer
who accidentally stumbles upon a magical portal
that leads one into the mind of John Malkovich
for 15 minutes, and thence to the side of the New
Jersey Turnpike. Some people want to use this to
achieve alternate experiences, some want to
exploit it for profit or "love", and
some really need the portal for matters of great
cosmic significance.
I laughed hard during
the first 15 minutes or so, but then the tone
turns dark, and somewhat ugly when Cusack uses
his skill as a puppeteer to gain permanent
control of Malkovich's body.
Truly offbeat movie,
with many moments of great artistic achievement.
If you want your comedies ha-ha funny, you'll get
lost when the story finds its pace, but if you
like black comedy, it's one of the ornriest since
Dr Strangelove. Example - Malkovich in a
restaurant, patron comes up and sincerely thanks
Malkovich for his "compassionate portrayal
of retards". I think you will either
treasure it as one of your all-time favorites, or
hate it completely.
Unfortunately, probably
the darkest photography of any movie I've ever
seen. Makes SE7EN look like the outdoor scenes in
Sound of Music. Almost no flesh, so it didn't
matter that much. Catherine Keener
"Shiver
of the Vampires", from Tuna
Tuna's comments: "Naked lesbian Vampires,
castles, slow pace, great night lighting.
Brilliant colors and frames. I wonder who the
director was? The Shiver of the Vampires, aka:
Sex and the Vampire, Strange Things Happen at
Night, Terror of the Vampires, Thrill of the
Vampires, Vampire Thrills and Le Frisson des
Vampires is a very high quality DVD transfer from
the original interneg. The images are probably
the best Rollin I have done to date in terms of
showing his lighting and colors. As usual, the
images are far more important than the plot,
which concerns a newlywed couple who stop off at
the castle of her cousins. Seems the cousins were
rather serious vampire killers until they got
bit. The cousins now see the virtue of drinking
blood, and set about to recruit their cousin to
the cause with the help of a "roving"
female vampire. Again, Rollin proves that he
knows what to do with a camera." thumbnails,
part 1 thumbnails,
part 1 thumbnails,
part 1 Sandra Julien (1,
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15,
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Nikole Nancel (1,
2,
3,
4)
Dominique (1,
2,
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Castel Herce (1,
2,
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