- Charlie writes in to say, "(1) Emmanuelle Béart indeed keeps on
getting nude: she has a dark full frontal in L'Enfer. (2) It is not Aurore Auteuil in the
caps from Nathalie. Unfortunately for her, Aurore looks a lot
like her father (Daniel) (3) You forgot to name Depardieu's
only rival as "I sould be in every movie French lead actor":
Michel Serrault with a mere 153 entries at imdb. He is older,
but he did not get the support of US film-makers to reach this
SCOOP's NOTES: (1) The marvels of surgery and botox! (2) Tuna
has re-done those collages of the patient. Here they are below.
Hope we have the right woman this time, in
Sophie Séfériadès. (3)
I covered Nathalie myself today, and wrote a lengthy piece
about it. I didn't love it, but I rather liked it, which offers
some balance to Tuna's verdict of "utter crap."
Here's the article
with both of our positions, and the following are my three
Emmanuelle Beart collages:
If your greatest dream in life has always been to see the ugly
broad from Cagney and Lacy have sex on horseback, you may now die
contentedly. Check out this
from 1973's The Adulteress. She wasn't that ugly back then. She was
not likely to win any Michelle Pfeiffer look-alike contests, but she
The future of automatic doors - a lot
cooler than it sounds!
Naughty wrapping paper - Nice on the
outside... Raunchy on the inside!
The French trailer for the new Bond
film, Casino Royale (Looks
like they've taken all the sly, campy humor out of the
series and steered it into pure thriller territory.)
FEMA SENT TO IRAN TO SLOW DOWN
NUCLEAR PROGRAM ... Agency
Uses Bureaucracy, Red Tape to Hamstring Nukes
Illusionist David Blaine started his
latest stunt -- living in a water-filled tank for a week
before attempting the world record for holding his breath.
- The good news? If the trick
doesn't work perfectly, he dies.
- You know which magic trick I
would pay to see? If David Copperfield could make this
What if Howard Stern had started
his show when he was a kid?
Little Howie and the Stern Gang: The
Boy From Mars
Improv Everywhere Mission: Flood Best
Buy with 80 fake employees
Anna Nicole Smith wins Supreme Court
Origasmi: "The secret to achieving
sexual gratification through paper-folding"
If ever a movie needed to be remade,
it would be Revenge of the Nerds (coming 2007)
Jessica Alba to Host the MTV Movie
Helmets, Helmets, Helmets - every
football helmet, worn by every pro team in the modern era.
Lindsay Lohan Meets Her Competition:
The Straight Dope: Do McDonald's
milkshakes contain seaweed?
Time magazine names 100 most
- Stephen Colbert made the list!
I can't wait to hear his remarks.
Non-MVP Kobe single-handedly defeats
MVP Nash and his talented teammates.
Phoenix is on the brink of elimination.
New reality show:
Taking a Nap With the Stars
Eagles "Hotel California" performed
live in 1974
Lock in your votes: real or spoof
President Bush said: "People that
want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn
- There is good news for the
anti-Bush crowd. With that sentence, Bush has removed
himself from citizenship, and one must be a citizen to
be President, so ... no impeachment necessary! Just hand
the keys to Darth Cheney.
Editor and Publisher reviews the
White House Correspondents Dinner - President Not Amused?
CELEBRITY SUDOKU GAME SHOW A RATINGS
FLOP ... Host Chuck
Woolery suffers nervous breakdown
RapidShare zipped file - some caps of
Isabella Rossellini naked in Blue Velvet
USATODAY.com reviews the press corps
This week in Unnecessary Censorship:
President Bush does a joint
presentation with a Bush impersonator.
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Also known as Housewife, Dial Rat for Terror, and Beverly Hills Nightmare,
Bone is a very dark comedy which explores the fantasies of a Beverly Hills
couple (Andrew Duggan and Joyce Van Patten), and the black man who invades
their home, and holds the wife hostage. Yaphet Kotto as Bone is able to enter
their home and dominate them with no weapons of any kind. It is simply the
fact that he is large and black that intimidates them completely, playing on
the stereotype of the "scary black man." In one of many interesting speeches,
Kotto bemoans the fact that, with improved race relations, he has become an
outdated stereotype, and people were no longer afraid of him. His aim is
robbery, but he finds that they not only have no cash, but are overdrawn on
their bank accounts. Finally, he finds a secret bank account that Duggan has
hidden from his wife. Duggan is sent to withdraw the money, while Bone holds
his wife captive. The threat is that he will rape then kill her if he doesn't
get the money.
Duggan has second thoughts, goes to a bar, and ends up in bed with a cook.
Kotto feels like he has to rape Van Patten now that Duggan has not shown up,
but finds he can't perform. At that point, Van Patten has a few drinks to
fortify herself, then seduces Kotto. At that point, they become partners, and
go after Duggan.
The film could be Kotto's fantasy of having a rich white woman fall for
him, or Duggan's fantasy of getting rid of his wife, or Van Patten's fantasy
of a handsome, powerful black man seducing her. Then there was the couple's
son, who was actually in jail for hash smuggling in Spain, but whom they claim
is in Vietnam. The film might be the fantasy of the son, imagining revenge on
It was very brave for its time, and the concept that black men are just
plain scary because they are black is just as valid now as it was then. Cohen
feels the film was never promoted as what it actually was, a comedy. I enjoyed
it very much. It was not the usual fare, which is a good thing, and I had no
idea what was coming next. Some of the scenes had me laughing out loud, such
as the scene where Kotto and Van Patton are calculating exactly how they
should maim or kill Duggan in order to get the most money from his life
It was Larry Cohen's first film. Cohen shopped for distribution all over
town with very little luck, but the film eventually made money on the drive-in
IMDb readers say 6.2.
Scoop's note: Quite a find! I had absolutely
no idea that Joyce Van Patten ever flashed her honey pot on screen! (See
8 Days a Week (1997)
A reader requested images of Catherine Hicks and her almost nude appearance
in this film. She plays the part of a neighborhood divorcee who is clearly
making herself available to the young men in the neighborhood by flashing from
her window. It was a very brave performance, given her midriff bulges and love
handles, and she even obviously stuffed her bra. I found her performance
amusing but, at the same time, kind of sad and poignant. There are so many
women who have passed their peaks in physical beauty, but are at their sexual
peak. In a well-ordered universe, they would have all the sex they want.
Lorissa McComas is cult figure among B-movie aficionados and even among
those, like me, who are interested amateurs. She has an angelic face and the
makings of a angelic form were it not for a pair of after-market add-ons do her
no justice. In any case, she has been capped topless or better in over 20 movies
plus a few cable shows. These caps came from a disk entitled Private Dances 3.
Strip and wiggle performances from Lorissa and Danni Ashe and two others no one
has ever seen before...or since. Lorissa' part of the disk is called "Lorissa
Oil Me Down." 'Tis a bit confusing since the title seems to be neither a command
nor a quote and Lorissa does all the oiling, so just who is talking to whom? No
matter. Lorissa does the triple-B wiggle for 16 collages, including some
open-legged gynocam views.
And then there were a bunch of photos in the gallery that I stuck together
for six more collages. Every dad-gum inch of Lorissa makes an appearance in one
collage or another.
Pat's comments in yellow...
A truck driver in Dyersburg, Tennessee, reports that his
trailer containing 2,880 cases of the energy drink Red Bull, valued at $100,000,
has been stolen. Earlier in the week in Dyersburg, someone stole a trailer
containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces. The trailer was found in Ohio, but
the sauce was gone.
* I'm betting the fugitive who stole all the barbecue sauce will be easier
to catch than the one who stole all the Red Bull.
In an A.P. interview, thug rapper 50
Cent attacked Oprah Winfrey for her distaste for gangsta rappers and her
refusal to have many of them on her show. He said, "I think she caters to older
white women. Oprah's audience is my audience's parents, so I could care less
about Oprah or her show."
* So Oprah entertains older white women, and 50 Cent entertains their
kids...Who entertains black people? Barry Manilow?
A man was cutting a tree with a chainsaw near Darwin, Australia, when a
15-foot crocodile got annoyed by the noise, leapt out of the water, grabbed the
chainsaw in his mouth and repeatedly smashed it on the ground for an hour
... From the people who brought you "Snakes On A Plane," it's "Crocodile With
* Retired schoolteacher Claudia Lee of Yonkers, New York, is fighting with
Cablevision after she got a bill claiming she owes $1,431 for porn and gangsta
rap programming she never ordered
... What a coincidence! I just got a bill
from Cablevision for a bunch of pay-per-view Angela Lansbury movies!
she order porn and gangsta rap videos? It would be like going back to