• Charlie writes in to say, "(1) Emmanuelle Béart indeed keeps on getting nude: she has a dark full frontal in L'Enfer. (2) It is not Aurore Auteuil in the caps from Nathalie. Unfortunately for her, Aurore looks a lot like her father (Daniel) (3) You forgot to name Depardieu's only rival as "I sould be in every movie French lead actor": Michel Serrault with a mere 153 entries at imdb. He is older, but he did not get the support of US film-makers to reach this mark.

    SCOOP's NOTES: (1) The marvels of surgery and botox! (2) Tuna has re-done those collages of the patient. Here they are below. Hope we have the right woman this time, in Sophie Séfériadès. (3) Thanks!


    I covered Nathalie myself today, and wrote a lengthy piece about it. I didn't love it, but I rather liked it, which offers some balance to Tuna's verdict of "utter crap." Here's the article with both of our positions, and the following are my three Emmanuelle Beart collages:



Tyne Daly

If your greatest dream in life has always been to see the ugly broad from Cagney and Lacy have sex on horseback, you may now die contentedly. Check out this zipped .wmv from 1973's The Adulteress. She wasn't that ugly back then. She was not likely to win any Michelle Pfeiffer look-alike contests, but she looked OK.



Other Crap:

The future of automatic doors - a lot cooler than it sounds!

Naughty wrapping paper - Nice on the outside... Raunchy on the inside!

The French trailer for the new Bond film, Casino Royale (Looks like they've taken all the sly, campy humor out of the series and steered it into pure thriller territory.)

FEMA SENT TO IRAN TO SLOW DOWN NUCLEAR PROGRAM ... Agency Uses Bureaucracy, Red Tape to Hamstring Nukes

Illusionist David Blaine started his latest stunt -- living in a water-filled tank for a week before attempting the world record for holding his breath.

  • The good news? If the trick doesn't work perfectly, he dies.
  • You know which magic trick I would pay to see? If David Copperfield could make this guy disappear.

What if Howard Stern had started his show when he was a kid? Little Howie and the Stern Gang: The Boy From Mars

Improv Everywhere Mission: Flood Best Buy with 80 fake employees

Anna Nicole Smith wins Supreme Court ruling

Origasmi: "The secret to achieving sexual gratification through paper-folding"

If ever a movie needed to be remade, it would be Revenge of the Nerds (coming 2007)

Jessica Alba to Host the MTV Movie Awards

Helmets, Helmets, Helmets - every football helmet, worn by every pro team in the modern era. Ever.

Lindsay Lohan Meets Her Competition: Catfight!

The Straight Dope: Do McDonald's milkshakes contain seaweed?

Time magazine names 100 most influential

  • Stephen Colbert made the list! I can't wait to hear his remarks.

Non-MVP Kobe single-handedly defeats MVP Nash and his talented teammates. Phoenix is on the brink of elimination.

New reality show: Taking a Nap With the Stars

Vintage Performance: Eagles "Hotel California" performed live in 1974

Lock in your votes: real or spoof ... President Bush said: "People that want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English"

  • There is good news for the anti-Bush crowd. With that sentence, Bush has removed himself from citizenship, and one must be a citizen to be President, so ... no impeachment necessary! Just hand the keys to Darth Cheney.

Editor and Publisher reviews the White House Correspondents Dinner - President Not Amused?

CELEBRITY SUDOKU GAME SHOW A RATINGS FLOP ... Host Chuck Woolery suffers nervous breakdown

RapidShare zipped file - some caps of Isabella Rossellini naked in Blue Velvet

USATODAY.com reviews the press corps dinner

This week in Unnecessary Censorship: April 28th

President Bush does a joint presentation with a Bush impersonator.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Bone (1972)

Also known as Housewife, Dial Rat for Terror, and Beverly Hills Nightmare, Bone is a very dark comedy which explores the fantasies of a Beverly Hills couple (Andrew Duggan and Joyce Van Patten), and the black man who invades their home, and holds the wife hostage. Yaphet Kotto as Bone is able to enter their home and dominate them with no weapons of any kind. It is simply the fact that he is large and black that intimidates them completely, playing on the stereotype of the "scary black man." In one of many interesting speeches, Kotto bemoans the fact that, with improved race relations, he has become an outdated stereotype, and people were no longer afraid of him. His aim is robbery, but he finds that they not only have no cash, but are overdrawn on their bank accounts. Finally, he finds a secret bank account that Duggan has hidden from his wife. Duggan is sent to withdraw the money, while Bone holds his wife captive. The threat is that he will rape then kill her if he doesn't get the money.

Duggan has second thoughts, goes to a bar, and ends up in bed with a cook. Kotto feels like he has to rape Van Patten now that Duggan has not shown up, but finds he can't perform. At that point, Van Patten has a few drinks to fortify herself, then seduces Kotto. At that point, they become partners, and go after Duggan.

The film could be Kotto's fantasy of having a rich white woman fall for him, or Duggan's fantasy of getting rid of his wife, or Van Patten's fantasy of a handsome, powerful black man seducing her. Then there was the couple's son, who was actually in jail for hash smuggling in Spain, but whom they claim is in Vietnam. The film might be the fantasy of the son, imagining revenge on his parents.

It was very brave for its time, and the concept that black men are just plain scary because they are black is just as valid now as it was then. Cohen feels the film was never promoted as what it actually was, a comedy. I enjoyed it very much. It was not the usual fare, which is a good thing, and I had no idea what was coming next. Some of the scenes had me laughing out loud, such as the scene where Kotto and Van Patton are calculating exactly how they should maim or kill Duggan in order to get the most money from his life insurance policy.

It was Larry Cohen's first film. Cohen shopped for distribution all over town with very little luck, but the film eventually made money on the drive-in circuit. 


IMDb readers say 6.2.

Scoop's note: Quite a find! I had absolutely no idea that Joyce Van Patten ever flashed her honey pot on screen! (See collage #21)


Joyce Van Patten shows breasts, buns and a gynocam shot.


8 Days a Week (1997)

Part II

A reader requested images of Catherine Hicks and her almost nude appearance in this film. She plays the part of a neighborhood divorcee who is clearly making herself available to the young men in the neighborhood by flashing from her window. It was a very brave performance, given her midriff bulges and love handles, and she even obviously stuffed her bra. I found her performance amusing but, at the same time, kind of sad and poignant. There are so many women who have passed their peaks in physical beauty, but are at their sexual peak. In a well-ordered universe, they would have all the sex they want.


Catherine Hicks






Today the Hankster Hillbilly tour rolls on as we wrap up "Sassy Sue".

Tallie Cochrane and Sharon Kelly return and the action gets hot. They have an outdoor bathtub scene and Tallie's "Gyno-cam" is turned on. 


Then the girls hit the barn for a three way with "Junior" and you can play the "Spot the Tool" game with this set.







Lorissa McComas is cult figure among B-movie aficionados and even among those, like me, who are interested amateurs. She has an angelic face and the makings of a angelic form were it not for a pair of after-market add-ons do her no justice. In any case, she has been capped topless or better in over 20 movies plus a few cable shows. These caps came from a disk entitled Private Dances 3. Strip and wiggle performances from Lorissa and Danni Ashe and two others no one has ever seen before...or since. Lorissa' part of the disk is called "Lorissa Oil Me Down." 'Tis a bit confusing since the title seems to be neither a command nor a quote and Lorissa does all the oiling, so just who is talking to whom? No matter. Lorissa does the triple-B wiggle for 16 collages, including some open-legged gynocam views.


And then there were a bunch of photos in the gallery that I stuck together for six more collages. Every dad-gum inch of Lorissa makes an appearance in one collage or another.







Debi Mazar, poking in public

Katherine Heigl - plumber's crack

Tracy Erickson in Guardians of the Realm

Lana Pirian in Guardians of the Realm

La Alba - a HQ version of her semi-exposed rumpus





Pat's comments in yellow...

A truck driver in Dyersburg, Tennessee, reports that his trailer containing 2,880 cases of the energy drink Red Bull, valued at $100,000, has been stolen.  Earlier in the week in Dyersburg, someone stole a trailer containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces.  The trailer was found in Ohio, but all
the sauce was gone.

*  I'm betting the fugitive who stole all the barbecue sauce will be easier
to catch than the one who stole all the Red Bull.


In an A.P. interview, thug rapper 50 Cent attacked Oprah Winfrey for her distaste for gangsta rappers and her refusal to have many of them on her show.  He said, "I think she caters to older white women.  Oprah's audience is my audience's parents, so I could care less about Oprah or her show." 

*  So Oprah entertains older white women, and 50 Cent entertains their
kids...Who entertains black people?  Barry Manilow?


A man was cutting a tree with a chainsaw near Darwin, Australia, when a
15-foot crocodile got annoyed by the noise, leapt out of the water, grabbed the chainsaw in his mouth and repeatedly smashed it on the ground for an hour

...  From the people who brought you "Snakes On A Plane," it's "Crocodile With A Chainsaw!"

*  Retired schoolteacher Claudia Lee of Yonkers, New York, is fighting with
Cablevision after she got a bill claiming she owes $1,431 for porn and gangsta rap programming she never ordered

... What a coincidence!  I just got a bill from Cablevision for a bunch of pay-per-view Angela Lansbury movies!

...Why would she order porn and gangsta rap videos?  It would be like going back to teaching.