... and God Spoke (1993) is a mocumentary of two indie film makers, a producer and director, who have managed to secure studio money to make an epic film of the bible. Given the book sales, the producer figures the potential market is enormous. The first problem is casting, when they find out that even with a substantial budget, they can't get their first choices for God or Moses or the Virgin Mary. Their initial script, which covered the entire bible, old and new testament, seemed a little overly-ambitious even to them, so they cut out the boring parts. On the first day of shooting, they discovered that their Eve had a tattoo from her breasts to her crotch, and then that their snake was poisonous and not defanged. To top it off, their DP added a bunch of filters to symbolize what he saw as the dark days of mankind, resulting in a nearly black reel of film.

And so it went, from day one through the studio cuts and eventually dropping the project, to completing it with their own money. I don't want to give too much away, as most of the fun is in getting there, but to illustrate, Moses was played by Soupy Sales as Soupy Sales. Just before he takes his position to bring the commandments back from the mountain, the producer whispers something in his ear. Cameras roll, and he walks down with the stone tablets, and a six pack of coke. Seems the producer had made a deal for product placement.

The exposure comes early in the film, when they are talking about their first films, which included the immortal fictional classic, Nude Ninjas. Monique Parent, Ashley Rhey and Lisa Comshaw are topless and wielding swords in the included clip. IMDb readers have this at 6.0. I admit this is my sort of material, as I adore indie films, and am fascinated by the process of making them, but I enjoyed every moment of this film. This is a high C+, a very well made film for a limited audience.

Other Crap:

• Hitchhikers Guide #1, with a $22 million weekend.
  • On the other side of the coin, XXX: State of the Union got no better than a disappointing third place to go with some weak reviews. (15% positive at RT). Investors must be feelin' kinda panicky about that one, because it came in at about half of expectations. For example, The Weekend Warrior estimated $27.6 million for XXX, but it came in at $13.7 - and Warrior was pretty damned close on all the other movies!
• "(He) was seriously thinking of becoming a monk. And he thought he had to be celibate to maintain the purity of his instrument ... it became obvious we had to split.' " The speaker: Mimi Rogers. The subject Tom Cruise. In other words, virginal Katie is his dream-girl.
• Virgin gone wild! A nice quality soundless clip of Katie Holmes's great topless scene in The Gift. Submitter wrote, "Cruise movie opens July 29th (U.S. Premiere July 27th, with a half dozen foreign premieres in following 2 weeks). Katie movie Batman Begins opens July 15th (with an equal number of Premieres in following 2 weeks). Amazing how this works out: He’s got 2 weeks to go to all her premieres, and he won’t be alone on the red carpet for any of his. The timing, I’m sure, is entirely coincidental. …plus (in their minds, at least) they’ve eclipsed the publicity that the summer’s BIG showbiz couple is going to get (Brad & Angelina). It's gotta be a coincidence -- BTW, I wonder what Katie and Penelope were talking about at a movie premiere about a month ago.
• Girl Scouts Sue Deadbeat Cookie Buyers
• Enjoy Your Freedom - Our Days May Be Numbered! OK, this article is not funny or even especially good, but it caught my eye because the web site is "Bella Online - the voice of women", and the article is written by a guy.
• Doc Bwana's Shrunken Head Museum!
• The Art of James Bond
• Laura Bush cracks risque jokes at the White House correspondents dinner.
  • "I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year, when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse," she said.
• The "more cowbell" phenomenon.
• Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad
• eBay item - NAPOLEON DYNAMITE STYLE TIME MACHINE MODULUS UNCLE RICO. Incredibly, the bids are already more than $200
• The fourth annual Film Festival ended on a political note on Saturday when
  Tribeca's top feature film prize went to 'Stolen Life,' a Chinese drama that its director said was banned in her native country.
• RIAA - over 10,000 sued.
• HEAVY METAL HAPPY HOUR!
  • Submitter wrote: "Way cheesy, but lovable, horror lounge heavy metal piano cover band. Gotta be seen, and heard, to be believed. Kinda sorta sounds good, if you like the songs he covers."

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

This week's poll....

The Most Overrated movie.

Here's a short list to kick things off...

Napoleon Dynamite
Eyes Wide Shut
The English Patient
Titanic
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Blair Witch Project
Chariots of Fire
Sideways
The Piano
Dances Wiith Wolves
The Empire Strikes Back
Forrest Gump
Swingers
The Phantom Menace
Out of Africa
American Beauty
Life is Beautiful
Requiem for a Dream
Donny Darko
Gone With The Wind

Email Scoopy Jr. if you'd like to add nominees.

Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes

The 'L' Word season one DVD set.
Various guest stars.

• Sandra-Jessica Couturier: boobs and butt skinnidipping.
• Nicole McKay: pokies in wet bathing suit.
• Jana Mitsoula: full frontal and robohooters.
• Luciana Carro: pokies and jiggle-cam in flimsy nightgown.
• Nahanni Arntzen: full frontal plus beaver-cam as nude model.
• Laura Lee Smith: bra-less pokies with rock hard nibs.
• Audra Rickets: full frontal and coochie-cam.
• Heidi Iro: boobs having lesbian sex with Audra Rickets.
• Devon Casagrande: brassiere in lesbian heavy petting session.
• Sarah Strange: tight t-shirt.
• Michaela Mann: partial breast in lesbian porn shoot.
• Jade Robertson: boobs getting eaten out by Michaela Mann.
• Lolita Davidovich: cleavage and flimsy tank top as lesbian cougar.
• Rosanna Arquette: bra and panties plus partial butt.
• Ion Overman: tight t-shirt in women-in-prison episode.
• Anne Ramsay: boob having lesbian sex.
• skinnidippers: topless kissing in pool in episode Looking Back.
• model: full frontal in the biblical sense in Luck, Next Time.

"Blade: Trinity"
I suspect people either like the Blade series, or they don't, and if you do, the third one will be enjoyable.

Blade, a vampire hybrid, hunts and kills vampires. In this one, he's now wanted by the FBI (guess to them, dead vampires count), so he joins forces with a group called the Nightstalkers, ex-vampires whose goal is also to kill vampires. Things get really dicey when the baddest ass of them all, Dracula, shows up to play.

The stories are as limited as the comic books they came from, but the action and special effects are top-notch, so I've enjoyed all three

• Jessica Biel

"The Badge"
There's an unidentified topless stripper in The Badge and Cindy Roubal is a naked corpse. It's just some nice caps of Patricia Arquette and J C Seally.

• Unknown
• Cindy Roubal (1, 2)
• Patricia Arquette (1, 2, 3)
• J C Seally

"Chances Are"
It seems that whenever I hear Cybill Shepherd talking on the tele, she is always talking about her sexual conquests. In Chances Are she is in her underwear.

• Cybill Shepherd (1, 2, 3)

"Motives"
Some brief breast exposure by Caryn Ward during a ménage à trois, with Golden Brooks one of the others. Also some more sexy shots of Vivica A. Fox.

• Caryn Ward (1, 2, 3)
• Golden Brooks (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Vivica A. Fox (1, 2)

"It Runs in the Family"
Some pokies and a thong view by Michelle Monaghan in It Runs in the Family.

• Michelle Monaghan (1, 2)

"Agent Cody Banks"
Plenty of cleavage by Angie Harmon in Agent Cody Banks.

• Angie Harmon (1, 2)

"Stealing Home"
There's nudity in Stealing Home but there's nothing visible. Nice caps of Beth Broderick, Jodie Foster and Yvette Croskey.

• Beth Broderick (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Jodie Foster (1, 2)
• Yvette Croskey

"Waltz of the Toreadors"
No nudity just some nice sexy caps of the late French actress Dany Robin in the 60s comedy Waltz of the Toreadors.

• Dany Robin (1, 2, 3)

"Goodfellas"
Again, no nudity in Goodfellas but some sexy caps of Lorraine Braccco when she stuffs a gun down the front of her knickers.

• Lorraine Braccco

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