TV Recap

Naked News, 4/29 edition:

An audition from Addilyn

Whitney St John delivers the Hollywood XPress section


Outlander seems to be taking the lead on the nudity scene this year. Here is a summary of the last three episodes:


Kimberly Smart

Clair Sermonne


Adrienne-Marie Zitt

Grace Calder


Catriona Balfe
(Damn, this one is dark. The final capture below has been adjusted to approximate the appearance of the scene before the blue filter created a night effect.)

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"The Americans"

Season Three, 1920x1080

episode seven

Keri Russell


3-Headed Shark Attack


Jena Sims


A quick series from a wide array of Australian movies. All comments by Johnny Moronic.



Lantana is an ensemble drama in which police detective Leon Zat (Anthony LaPaglia) begins an affair with Jane (Rachael Blake), a women he met during a salsa dance class which he takes with his wife, Sonja (Kerry Armstrong). Sonja is seeing a psychiatrist, Dr. Valerie Sommers (Barbara Hershey), trying to work out the problems in her marriage. Valerie is releasing a book about the murder of her young daughter, but her husband John (Geoffrey Rush) is not happy about it and seems very distant in their relationship. Valerie is having a very difficult time with a patient Patrick (Peter Phelps), a gay man who is in a relationship with a married man. After a problematic session with Patrick, Valerie loses herself, goes for a drive and has an accident, leaving her stranded. While waiting for roadside service, Valerie stops a car to get assistance and is never seen again. Leon and his partner (Leah Purcell) are investigating her disappearance and suspect John. Jane sees her next door neighbour Nik (Vince Colosimo) arrive home in a worrisome state and throw something into the lantana bush. She finds that it's a woman shoe. She calls the police and Nik is arrested but things are never that simple. Leon admits to Sonja that he cheated on her although Sonja almost cheated herself.

Gripping story about a group of people all seemingly going downhill in their lives. Is at its best when on the disappearance of Valerie and is all very grim with no one coming out unscathed and the end is a total 'everything's fucked' scenario. But one thing did grate with me as it usually does with ensemble dramas is how everyone it amazingly connected to one another and in Lantana it just gets more and more laughable with every connection that is made. Even a seemingly random moment ends up being connected in a most unlikely manner. If the story wasn't that good, I'd probably hate Lantana for its ridiculous improbability of a fair portion of it.

Rachael Blake in a 1080hd film clip (sample below)

Those Dear Departed


Those Dear Departed is a comedy about a renowned stage actor named Max Falcon (Garry McDonald) who is about to be killed by his wife Marilyn (Pamela Stephenson) during a performance of his play Fraud! The Musical. He survives, but unperturbed, Marilyn continues to make attempts on his life while continuing her affair with his driver, Richard (Marian Dworakowski), who is a poet. After she accidentally poisons Max's agent Norda (Su Cruickshank), the police, including Inspector Jerry (John Clarke) and his sergeant Steve (Jonathan Biggins) become involved and place the blame on Max. Well until Marilyn and Richard fake Max's suicide and finally off Max. Max goes to 'theatre heaven' (surely hell...), where with Norda and his long lost father, they contrive a way from the afterlife to get Marilyn to confess to Max's murder, but all it results in is Marilyn falling in love with Max again and the death of Richard when he starts seeing their ghosts. So, will Marilyn confess or will she continue her homicidal rampage and continue to get away with murder?

Terrible, terrible movie, incredibly unfunny and worse for a comedy about a homicidal maniac, just uninteresting. One of those 80s comedies when they just discovered that death is actually funny except there's not a much funny about this. A great comedy cast has been assembled but material their given is appallingly bad. McDonald's character is a terrible bore and hedging the movie on this annoying character was a major error. Stephenson's character gets the only good stuff in the movie, which isn't much, but one scene involving her sniper shooting one of the cops is badly misjudged and belongs in a different movie. Appropriately, this movie died a horrible death at the box office and barely lasted a week which is saying something considering some of the movies that I've seen get a release.

unidentified in a DVD-quality film clip (sample below)

Casino Reef


Casino Reef is a 1998 thriller set in the Gold Coast. Devoted cop and husband Matt Phoenix (Colin Handley) takes down a drug dealer and kills him in the process. To keep up appearances, Phoenix is suspended from the force, but is secretly picked up by the new crime team, the ICA, who have been set up to take down notorious local kingpin Castelano (John Orcsik), the man who supplied the money in that raid. Castelano decides to kill Phoenix by placing a bomb in his car, but Phoenix's wife and daughter are in the car when it goes off, killing the wife and badly burning the daughter. Phoenix decides to dive headlong into work, assigned to protect eccentric inventor Smithy (Robin Stewart), who has created an engine that works in an environmentally friendly way, much to the chagrin of Castelano and his oil-loving buddies. Well, Smithy and his niece are kidnapped by a group led by one of the ICA's more renegade members and it's a race against time to get them back and stop Castelano.

Incredibly low-rent made-for-TV thriller. It stunningly has a revered TV director in the director's chair, but man, is this movie at the very low end of things. Awful clich├ęd plot and script, then there's the terrible acting including one topless actress who looks like she was forced at gunpoint to be in it although former Bless This House/Pacific Banana actor Robin Stewart is having a blast as Smithy. Some scenes are just laughable with anything involving the Russian member of the ICA just ridiculous including shooting a bloke backwards while lying on a moving motorbike and so many hot Gold Coast babes turning up, not really in any roles of note, but looking hot nonetheless. I would say that this is one of the worst movies ever made in Australia, but there isn't any allusions to anything great unlike the appalling Those Dear Departed, which has no excuse.

Deanne Imber, Nicole Kelso and others 1080hd film clip (samples below)

Imber and Kelso


Movie/TV Clips

Olga Kurylenko in La Corrispondenza (2016) in 1080hd

Martha Canga Antonio and Natascha Boyamba in Black (2015; 720p)



Patricia Velasquez in Liz en Septiembre (the other women is Eloisa Maturen) (2014; 1080hd)

Sophie Traub in Thou Wast Mild And Lovely (2014; 720p)

Ana Ayora in The Big Wedding (2013; 1080hd)


Kelly Rohrbach - major camel toe on the set of Baywatch