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A decade of Lena Headey (1992-2001)
Seen mostly in Brit films with limited
international release, Lena is not so well known in the USA, but
her nudity record is impressive, and she's a beautiful woman. As
far as I know, this collection represents every nude scene she has
ever done.
More Emmanuelle Beart
Since Tuna captured the famous French tootsie in
Nathalie (below), this seemed like a good time to share Herr Haut's caps
of her triple-B performance in 1989's Les Enfants du désordre.
She has now been doing nude scenes for more than two decades
(1983-2004), and will probably keep going, since she still looked
great naked in 2004's À boire, (See the Encyclopedia or
Charlie's section for the evidence.)
Other Crap:
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BrandonRouth.com has the
first clip of Superman flying
(from an Aussie Coke commercial, of all
places)
FilmJerk.com - The Early
Report for April 30
Colbert and his big balls
rip on Bush mercilessly to his face.
Colbert Does the White
House Correspondence dinner,
part 2
- Give Colbert credit
for a LOT of cojones. He made everyone in
that room squirm. Although he took on
President Bush and those in power, he saved
his sharpest barbs for the press. He was
funny and on target, but there were not that
many laughs!
Dateline Hollywood :
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN MISSING IN ARUBA
... Fox News host goes missing on 91st day
covering Natalee Holloway disappearance
JOSS WHEDON GROCERY LIST
GARNERING HUGE INTERNET BUZZ
- “Buffy” fans demand
studio order “Joss’s Grocery List” to series
The Filthy Critic reviews
RV
- "RV is the kind of
movie you want your family to see. There's
no way in hell you'll go with them, but it's
a perfect opportunity to go through their
stuff, steal loose change and read their
private correspondence."
- "Hell, there is
better unimaginative, joyless crap in the
john at the Elk Lodge after a pancake
breakfast. And it's free!"
Sunny Mabrey discusses
Snakes on a Plane
BUSH RAISES BOUNTY ON BIN
LADEN TO A GALLON OF GAS
... Highest Reward Ever For World's Most
Wanted Man
- Elsewhere, Rolling
Stones guitarist Keith Richards fell from a
palm tree in Fiji and suffered a mild
concussion, which doctors called “a
significant improvement” over his normal
mental state.
RapidShare Video: Chelah
Horsdal HD vids from Masters of Horror
Judge's own Da Vinci code
cracked
- A code hidden by a
judge in his written judgement in the failed
Da Vinci Code plagiarism case has been
broken.
- The message? "Drink
Ovaltine"
Weekend Box Office
Results, April 28-30, 2006
- The story of the
week, in general is that the three biggest
new releases underperformed.
- The surprise is
that the new release which was expected to
bomb did not. Stick It finished second in
revenues per screen, and third overall -
within a hair's breadth of second.
- The weekend was
soft. In the last three weekends, the Top 12
have gone from $110 million to $100 to $90,
while their edge over last year has gone
from 48% to 22% to 12%. The decline is
expected to reverse next weekend with the
release of MI3, which should stack up some
big numbers against a weekend which was weak
last year.
Report from Tribeca on
Hatchet:
"BUFFY/ANGEL veteran
(Mercedes) McNab sheds her TV inhibitions and
her top with enthusiasm."
RapidShare Video: Alicia
Loren on the Sopranos last week.
"Thieves Steal Trailer
Filled With $100,000 worth of Red Bull"
- "A trailer
containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces
also was stolen in Dyersburg on Monday,
authorities said. The trailer was recovered
by police in Ohio Monday night, but all the
sauce was gone."
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Shopgirl (2005)
Shopgirl (2005) is a romantic comedy written by Steve Martin, adapted from
his own novella. It stars Claire Danes as a young single woman working at the
glove counter in Saks 5th Avenue to pay off her student loans. She dreams of
being a successful artist, and finding someone to love. She meets Jason
Schwartzman in a laundromat. He is far from the perfect mate, as he has little
money, a dead end job, and is not cursed with awareness or sensitivity. About
the time he leaves on tour with a rock band, Steve Martin spots Claire at
Saks, and buys a pair of gloves from her, which he mails to her house. He is
rich and refined, and is attentive and generous. He, however, realizes that
she is way too young for him, and tries hard to explain to her that it is just
a physical thing. He enjoys her company, but there will not be any commitment.
Martin gives what he has, money, and gets in return a bright young woman on
his arm, one who is great in bed, and can carry herself appropriately for the
circles he runs in. She is so thrilled with the relationship, which she hopes
will become more permanent, that she stops taking her anti-depressants, which
is a big mistake. In the process of nursing her back out of clinical
depression, Martin realizes that the relationship, for him, is over. He has
become more like her father than her lover. When he has casual sex, and tells
her, she finally realizes that the relationship has no future, and she has the
choice of hurting now, or hurting later. Fortunately for Danes, Schwartzman
has been listening to self-help tapes on the road, and has evolved. It also
doesn't hurt that he loves her.
The story was a very personal work for Martin, who based the story on
things in his life, and the lives of friends. This Steve Martin is not the
"wild and crazy buy," but plays the role seriously. If anything, Schwartzman
provides the comedy. Danes was adorable, and her portrayal of someone in deep
depression was spot on.
This is a C.
IMDb readers say 6.8. Ebert says 3 1/2 stars, Berardinelli 3.
Nathalie ... (2003)
I have to admire the French for continuing to produce so many films, when
they only have one actor in the entire French cinema to go around. Yes, we
again have Gérard Depardieu, a successful businessman this time, and married
to a gynecologist (Fanny Ardent). When he misses his own surprise party, then
leaves his cell phone home, Fanny listens to his messages, including the one
from his "missed flight" the night before, thanking him for the great sex.
She confronts, he admits, but says it meant nothing. So Ardent does what
any wife would do in this case. She hires hooker Emmanuelle Béart to seduce
him, then report back to her. So, when Béart isn't busy with her day job of
hair dresser, or her night job in a private gentlemen's club, she reports all
the lurid details of her sex with Depardieu. That is pretty much it, except
for the very French ending.
This film is a very French love story, I suppose. The entire film is about
oral sex - in the sense of talking about it. It took 2 1/2 years to get to the
US, and then went almost immediately to DVD. Wendy Ide of the London Times
wrote
the review I wanted to. Like Wendy, I though the film was utter crap,
start to finish.
Béart shows breasts in two scenes. Aurore Auteuil shows breasts having a
breast exam.
IMDb readers say 6.3. Berardinelli liked it at three stars, but admitted it
was not for everyone.
I suppose the proper score is C-, as a very French art film.
Scoop's note's: there are actually four French
leading actors: Jean Reno, Daniel Auteuil, Depardieu, and Tcheky Karyo. This
puts a tremendous strain on them, since one or more must appear in every
French movie. Thus, Karyo has been in 86 films, Auteuil 78, Reno 65, and the
ubiquitous Depardieu in 155. To put Depardieu's number in perspective,
consider that Michael Caine, who is nearly 200 years old and seems to have
appeared in every movie made since the Lumieres first projected their little
experimental films, has only been in 129 films, and Gene Hackman has been in a
mere 96! Even Eric Roberts, who never turns a job down, has only been able to
accumulate 146 acting credits at IMDb.
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A Bynerama "The Best of Bizarre," volumes 3 and 4, the latest re-release of
the 1980s Byner-ploitation where Funhouse hero John Byner gets various females
topless in odd situations (shoe shops, dentist offices, restaurants, first
dates, and the well-worn talking t-shirt sketch). Lots of topless nudity by some
unidentified Toronto-area actresses and models.
Some of those ID'ed are Mary Beth Rubens topless as stripper
topless Judy Foster,
topless Candace Frazee,
and Luba Goy of Air Farce, showing more cleavage in another infamous Bigot
Family sketch.
There were 150 episodes produced, so there's lots more to come. |
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Dann reports on Dead Women in Lingerie:
When the cops can't catch a serial killer who is preying on immigrant
garment workers, the head of the lingerie factory hires a private
detective to do the job.
If you're interested in seeing some topless shots of Maura Tierney
(ER's Abby Lockhart), this 1991 film will do it for you. If you also want
a good crime thriller, you might want to forget this one, because it is
weak, not greatly acted, and fairly lame. Maura does a credible job as a
fashion designer for the company, and Jerry Orbach is good as her boss,
but male lead John Romo is incredibly bad as the P.I., most of the other
acting is also pretty bad, and the story is very predictable and weakly
scripted.
Maura Tierney |
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