Monday

A decade of Lena Headey  (1992-2001)

Seen mostly in Brit films with limited international release, Lena is not so well known in the USA, but her nudity record is impressive, and she's a beautiful woman. As far as I know, this collection represents every nude scene she has ever done.

 

More Emmanuelle Beart

Since Tuna captured the famous French tootsie in Nathalie (below), this seemed like a good time to share Herr Haut's caps of her triple-B performance in 1989's Les Enfants du désordre. She has now been doing nude scenes for more than two decades (1983-2004), and will probably keep going, since she still looked great naked in 2004's À boire, (See the Encyclopedia or Charlie's section for the evidence.)

Other Crap:

BrandonRouth.com has the first clip of Superman flying (from an Aussie Coke commercial, of all places)

FilmJerk.com - The Early Report for April 30

Colbert and his big balls rip on Bush mercilessly to his face.

Colbert Does the White House Correspondence dinner, part 2

  • Give Colbert credit for a LOT of cojones. He made everyone in that room squirm. Although he took on President Bush and those in power, he saved his sharpest barbs for the press. He was funny and on target, but there were not that many laughs!

Dateline Hollywood : GRETA VAN SUSTEREN MISSING IN ARUBA ... Fox News host goes missing on 91st day covering Natalee Holloway disappearance

JOSS WHEDON GROCERY LIST GARNERING HUGE INTERNET BUZZ

  • “Buffy” fans demand studio order “Joss’s Grocery List” to series

The Filthy Critic reviews RV

  • "RV is the kind of movie you want your family to see. There's no way in hell you'll go with them, but it's a perfect opportunity to go through their stuff, steal loose change and read their private correspondence."
  • "Hell, there is better unimaginative, joyless crap in the john at the Elk Lodge after a pancake breakfast. And it's free!"

Sunny Mabrey discusses Snakes on a Plane

BUSH RAISES BOUNTY ON BIN LADEN TO A GALLON OF GAS ... Highest Reward Ever For World's Most Wanted Man

  • Elsewhere, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards fell from a palm tree in Fiji and suffered a mild concussion, which doctors called “a significant improvement” over his normal mental state.

RapidShare Video: Chelah Horsdal HD vids from Masters of Horror

Judge's own Da Vinci code cracked

  • A code hidden by a judge in his written judgement in the failed Da Vinci Code plagiarism case has been broken.
  • The message? "Drink Ovaltine"

Weekend Box Office Results, April 28-30, 2006

  • The story of the week, in general is that the three biggest new releases underperformed.
  • The surprise is that the new release which was expected to bomb did not. Stick It finished second in revenues per screen, and third overall - within a hair's breadth of second.
  • The weekend was soft. In the last three weekends, the Top 12 have gone from $110 million to $100 to $90, while their edge over last year has gone from 48% to 22% to 12%. The decline is expected to reverse next weekend with the release of MI3, which should stack up some big numbers against a weekend which was weak last year.

Report from Tribeca on Hatchet: "BUFFY/ANGEL veteran (Mercedes) McNab sheds her TV inhibitions and her top with enthusiasm."

RapidShare Video: Alicia Loren on the Sopranos last week.

"Thieves Steal Trailer Filled With $100,000 worth of Red Bull"

  • "A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Kraft sauces also was stolen in Dyersburg on Monday, authorities said. The trailer was recovered by police in Ohio Monday night, but all the sauce was gone."

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Shopgirl (2005)

Shopgirl (2005) is a romantic comedy written by Steve Martin, adapted from his own novella. It stars Claire Danes as a young single woman working at the glove counter in Saks 5th Avenue to pay off her student loans. She dreams of being a successful artist, and finding someone to love. She meets Jason Schwartzman in a laundromat. He is far from the perfect mate, as he has little money, a dead end job, and is not cursed with awareness or sensitivity. About the time he leaves on tour with a rock band, Steve Martin spots Claire at Saks, and buys a pair of gloves from her, which he mails to her house. He is rich and refined, and is attentive and generous. He, however, realizes that she is way too young for him, and tries hard to explain to her that it is just a physical thing. He enjoys her company, but there will not be any commitment.

Martin gives what he has, money, and gets in return a bright young woman on his arm, one who is great in bed, and can carry herself appropriately for the circles he runs in. She is so thrilled with the relationship, which she hopes will become more permanent, that she stops taking her anti-depressants, which is a big mistake. In the process of nursing her back out of clinical depression, Martin realizes that the relationship, for him, is over. He has become more like her father than her lover. When he has casual sex, and tells her, she finally realizes that the relationship has no future, and she has the choice of hurting now, or hurting later. Fortunately for Danes, Schwartzman has been listening to self-help tapes on the road, and has evolved. It also doesn't hurt that he loves her.

The story was a very personal work for Martin, who based the story on things in his life, and the lives of friends. This Steve Martin is not the "wild and crazy buy," but plays the role seriously. If anything, Schwartzman provides the comedy. Danes was adorable, and her portrayal of someone in deep depression was spot on.

This is a C.

IMDb readers say 6.8. Ebert says 3 1/2 stars, Berardinelli 3.

 

 

Claire Danes shows buns while lying on her stomach in bed.

 

Nathalie ... (2003)

I have to admire the French for continuing to produce so many films, when they only have one actor in the entire French cinema to go around. Yes, we again have Gérard Depardieu, a successful businessman this time, and married to a gynecologist (Fanny Ardent). When he misses his own surprise party, then leaves his cell phone home, Fanny listens to his messages, including the one from his "missed flight" the night before, thanking him for the great sex.

She confronts, he admits, but says it meant nothing. So Ardent does what any wife would do in this case. She hires hooker Emmanuelle Béart to seduce him, then report back to her. So, when Béart isn't busy with her day job of hair dresser, or her night job in a private gentlemen's club, she reports all the lurid details of her sex with Depardieu. That is pretty much it, except for the very French ending.

This film is a very French love story, I suppose. The entire film is about oral sex - in the sense of talking about it. It took 2 1/2 years to get to the US, and then went almost immediately to DVD. Wendy Ide of the London Times wrote the review I wanted to. Like Wendy, I though the film was utter crap, start to finish.

Béart shows breasts in two scenes. Aurore Auteuil shows breasts having a breast exam.

IMDb readers say 6.3. Berardinelli liked it at three stars, but admitted it was not for everyone.

I suppose the proper score is C-, as a very French art film.

Scoop's note's: there are actually four French leading actors: Jean Reno, Daniel Auteuil, Depardieu, and Tcheky Karyo. This puts a tremendous strain on them, since one or more must appear in every French movie. Thus, Karyo has been in 86 films, Auteuil 78, Reno 65, and the ubiquitous Depardieu in 155.  To put Depardieu's number in perspective, consider that Michael Caine, who is nearly 200 years old and seems to have appeared in every movie made since the Lumieres first projected their little experimental films, has only been in 129 films, and Gene Hackman has been in a mere 96! Even Eric Roberts, who never turns a job down, has only been able to accumulate 146 acting credits at IMDb.

 

Emmanuelle Beart

Aurore Auteuil

 

 

 

 

 

More from "Sassy Sue" as we continue our "Hillbilly Heaven" tour.  Today we feature Karen Cooknell and she's not at all modest as she does our hayseed from yesterday and the not so bright hayseed's son. Full frontal from Karen

 

 

 

 

A Bynerama

"The Best of Bizarre," volumes 3 and 4, the latest re-release of the 1980s Byner-ploitation where Funhouse hero John Byner gets various females topless in odd situations (shoe shops, dentist offices, restaurants, first dates, and the well-worn talking t-shirt sketch). Lots of topless nudity by some unidentified Toronto-area actresses and models.


Some of those ID'ed are Mary Beth Rubens topless as stripper

topless Judy Foster,

topless Candace Frazee,

and Luba Goy of Air Farce, showing more cleavage in another infamous Bigot Family sketch.

There were 150 episodes produced, so there's lots more to come.

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Dead Women in Lingerie:

 

When the cops can't catch a serial killer who is preying on immigrant garment workers, the head of the lingerie factory hires a private detective to do the job.

If you're interested in seeing some topless shots of Maura Tierney (ER's Abby Lockhart), this 1991 film will do it for you. If you also want a good crime thriller, you might want to forget this one, because it is weak, not greatly acted, and fairly lame. Maura does a credible job as a fashion designer for the company, and Jerry Orbach is good as her boss, but male lead John Romo is incredibly bad as the P.I., most of the other acting is also pretty bad, and the story is very predictable and weakly scripted.

Maura Tierney

 

 

 

 

 

This is a collection of scans and caps I have been fooling with for a while.  Not sure if I have posted one or two of them before, but they were all labors of love.
 

 

Abi Titmuss Alexis Bledel Alicia Angel Alicia Witt Ana Hickman Andie McDowell
Bai Ling Bai Ling Charlize Theron Danni Ashe Drew Barrymore Emma Greenwood
Erika Christensen Gemma Atkinson Katie Price Kelly Monaco Kelly Monaco Leilani Dowding
Raica Oliveira Raica Oliveira Rhona Mitra Rhona Mitra Rhona Mitra Shannon Whirry
       
Tara Reid Victoria Silvstedtl        
 

 

 

 

 

More of Tiffany Bolton from "Black Tie Nights."


 

 

 

 

Tarrant wrote: "I captured Krystyna Janda's prison strip scene from "Interrogation," and fiddled a little bit with the controls in Photoshop.

Wow! A walking ad for the phrase "real woman have curves," Chelah Horsdal shows off her incredibly generous proportions in Masters of Horror. Very nice HDTV caps. If you like this, you can get the vid from RapidShare - the link is in the Other Crap section.