Elizabeth Perkins  (1991 and 1995)

Since Elizabeth was thoughtful enough to pose naked in Allure last week, I thought it might be a good time to look at the nudity she did when she was in her prime.

He Said, She Said is a fairly cute 1991 romantic comedy designed to be a date movie. Elizabeth Perkins and Kevin Bacon play newspaper columnists turned TV commentators who do a Point-Counterpoint routine every night on TV. They start out despising each other's politics, and competing for a single job, but the story is a romantic comedy, so I don't think I'm spoiling anything when I say that they eventually fall in love. In an earlier time, Tracy and Hepburn would have played the bickering journalists who fall in love despite their differences.

The film begins with an incident that represents their apparent break-up, and then breaks off into two separate segments. The first half shows Kevin Bacon's recollections of how they met and fell for one another, and the second half covers the exact same ground from Perkins's point of view. They do not always talk about the same incidents, because each of them had another love interest which affected the columnists' relationship in one way or another, and they dealt with those matters separately. The film's best humor, however, comes in the scenes where they have very different recollections of identical incidents.

Tracy and Hepburn would have added an extra layer of skill with the dialogue, but that kind of sharp badinage  was above the capabilities of Perkins and Bacon. They did bring some strengths to the table. Perkins was sweet and funny. On the other hand, Bacon had a tougher job than Perkins, since he was a womanizing, insensitive, egotistical reactionary who reformed for his true love. Unfortunately he was more believable before the transformation, and I was never quite persuaded that he was a good enough guy to deserve the dream-girl, but the script pushes all the right buttons.

On our scale it is a C: a good, not great rom-com.

Film clip (zipped .mpg)

Elizabeth Perkins
Ashley Gardner


Moonlight and Valentino is formulaic 1995 chixploitation film which covers typical ground. Elizabeth Perkins stars as a woman suddenly and tragically widowed when her perfect astrophysicist husband is killed in a jogging accident. She is comforted through her tragedy by the usual chick-flick suspects: her bossy, high-powered stepmother (Kathleen Turner); her kooky friend (Whoopee Goldberg); and her neurotic sister (Gwyneth Paltrow). The entire film basically consists of girl talk between them.

On our scale it is a D. It has good moments, but it is not a good film. It's basically a stock footage festival from chick-flicks, and rambles on to no particular destination.

Film clips (zipped .wmvs) (1, 2)

Elizabeth Perkins
Gwyneth Paltrow


Other Crap:

"The federal government intends to invoke the rarely used 'State Secrets Privilege' -- the legal equivalent of a nuclear bomb -- in the Electronic Frontier Foundation's class action lawsuit against AT&T"

One more reason to study your vocab words

The Tonight Show's Pump Cast News

BBC ON THIS DAY ... enter your birthday (or any other day) and see BBC's take on that day in history

Daily Box Office - Friday, April 28, 2006

  • The big surprise: Stick It, which was expected to finish 8th or 9th, pulled into second in Friday, beating United 93 and all the carry-overs. It didn't miss #1 by much!
  • The big disappointment: the well-reviewed Akeelah and the Bee, which was expected to finish third for the weekend, is languishing in seventh, and just barely holding on to that spot!
  • The overall Friday box looks a bit softer than expected, but that often happens on a week with many second-tier releases and no big grosser to shoulder the load.

Letterman: "Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Prom"

  • It's scheduled for Tuesday at 10:00 AM
  • Not only is D.J. playing Bryan Adams, D.J. is Bryan Adams
  • Instead of ice, punch bowl is chilled by the frozen head of Ted Williams
  • Principal interrupts festivities with a short film on Scientology
  • The janitor is mixing the punch with his wrench
  • It's chaperoned by Whitney Houston

The Wonder Years Pilot Episode

Jefferson Airplane sings White Rabbit on Ed Sullivan

Cheney Did Not Fall Asleep During Hu's Speech, He Died

The trailer and two clips from One Last Thing...

  • "'One Last Thing...' tells the story of 16 year-old Dylan Jameison (Michael Angarano) who has terminal cancer. When the charitable organization 'United Wish Givers' grants Dylan a last wish, he initially chooses to go fishing with his football hero, Jason O'Malley (Johnny Messner). In a moment of inspiration during the locally televised news conference, Dylan changes his mind and reveals that his actual final wish is to spend a weekend with the supermodel Nikki Sinclair (Sunny Mabrey), whose poster hangs proudly above his bed.

    Nikki is on the downward slope of self-destruction. In need of a splash of good publicity after pushing another model offstage at the latest fashion show, her agent (Gina Gershon) books a photo op with Dylan, setting the stage for an unlikely 'courtship.'

    With the help of his two best friends, Slap (Gideon Glick) and Ricky (Matthew Bush), Dylan spends his last days in Manhattan, trying to fulfill his wish, to the dismay of his single mom, Karen (Cynthia Nixon). In addition to the usual growing pains encountered by a boy his age, Dylan is faced with coming to terms with his imminent departure from this world. His resulting journey is both touching and surprisingly funny."

Lock in your guess - real or spoof? Keith Richards hospitalized after falling out of a palm tree

SOUTH PARK- Osama Bin Laden

  • Check out this abridged version of OSAMA BIN LADEN HAS FARTY PANTS from the animated series SOUTH PARK.
  • Funny spoof of Warner cartoons. After a short intro, it's "Bugs" Cartman against Osama Fudd Laden

Here's the HQ trailer for Monster House, the new family-style horror comedy in 3-D animation

The Vatican has urged Catholics everywhere to boycott the upcoming Da Vinci Code film for two reasons: (1) it patently 'offended' the Christian faith; (2) Jean Reno movies always suck when he doesn't wear sunglasses. Who would have guessed that L'Osservatore Romano had a hip movie critic?

Limbaugh weasels out cuts deal in drug probe

Jewel goes glam.

The trailer for Invincible

  • "From the studio that brought you 'The Rookie' and 'Remember the Titans' comes 'Invincible,' inspired by the true story of Vince Papale (Mark Wahlberg), a man with nothing to lose who ignored the staggering odds and made his dream come true. When the coach (Greg Kinnear) of Papale's beloved hometown football team hosted an unprecedented open tryout, the public consensus was that it was a waste of time -- no one good enough to play professional football was going to be found this way. Certainly no one like Papale -- a down-on-his-luck, 30 year-old, substitute teacher and part-time bartender who never even played college football. But against these odds, Papale made the team and soon found himself living every fan's fantasy -- moving from his cheap seats in the upper deck to standing on the field as a professional football player."

The first clip from X-men 3 (It's actually a pretty cool clip, thanks to Jackman, who is brilliant as usual!)

"A new television reality show, My Bare Lady, invites porn stars to test their serious acting abilities in London's theater district"



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Cash on Delivery (1992)

"Yu ya gong wu" is a Hang Kong comedy. A famous former gigolo who has turned to buying antiques, accepts a bargain with Veronica Yip to spend three days with her and make her pregnant, in return for a priceless antique watch. She and her husband stand to make a fortune from the husband's wealthy family if they produce an heir, but he is impotent and sterile.  Unfortunately, Simon is such a good gigolo and performed his role so perfectly that the sex-starved wife Yip becomes obsessed with him after their three days together. The gigolo is not interested because he has recently fallen for a young and inexperienced attorney.

The film then evolves into a courtroom drama when Yip's husband is killed in a fight, and she has Simon charged with the murder. The attorney who will defend him is, of course, his girlfriend.

Much of the humor was supposed to be in the dialogue, and it was lost in the translation. There was some physical humor that worked well, such as the battle between gigolos as to who could reach with their tongue into the deepest shot glass and retrieve a piece of paper on the bottom.

I found the ex-gigolo and the female attorney to be very sympathetic characters, but the cinematography was nothing special, and with the humor eviscerated by bad subtitles, this just doesn't have enough going for it to recommend. D+



Veronica Yip shows breasts and buns during a montage of their three days of sex.



Eight Days a Week (1997)

Eight Days a Week is a teen romantic comedy that played to ecstatic festival crowds, but was unable to win a real theatrical release, and went straight to video. It will be released next Tuesday on DVD. Scoopy wrote a wonderful review, which I completely agree with, including his award of a C+, as an intelligent but delightful coming of age teen romance story. It's rather talky, and a little light on pace, but made up for it in off-beat energy. This film works for me for several reasons. Russell is adorable, and her persistent suitor, Joshua Schaefer, is a very sympathetic character, smart, sensitive, amusing, and totally devoted to Russell.

To recap the nudity, Keri Russell spends the first several minutes of the film playing in a sprinkler in a wet shirt, is sunbathing showing major pokies, and her character shows a breast near the end of the film. I am suspicious of the actual breast exposure near the end of the film. While we do see Keri Russell's face and a breast in the same frame, it was carefully shot so the two are never connected. Further, her neck angle looks wrong to me. The breast is standing up much higher than in a swim suit scene with her on her back, and the clincher is that a previous scene that should have shown her breasts didn't. However, the opening wet shirt see-through action is worth the price of admission!

IMDb readers say 6.0.


Keri Russell.






The Hankster Hillbilly tour rolls on with more from "Sassy Sue". Tallie Cochrane kicks it off and she goes full frontal.

Sharon Kelly was a regular in soft-porn and also did hard-core under the name Colleen Brennan. The red-headed Sharon is a hoot running stark naked through the woods.

My wife wants me to turn the Time Machine around and  get my butt home. But I ain't leaving yet. There is too much  sex going on in them thar hills.





 From Dusk to Dawn

From Dusk to Dawn (1996) is an enjoyable vampire film, although a bit gory in parts.  The topless nudity comes from some dancers, who also happen to be vampires. Their names are in the credits but you have no idea who's who.

There are pokies by Juliette Lewis

and Salma Hayek looks stunning doing an exotic dance.


Body Double

Plenty of nudity in Body Double (1984), particularly by Melanie Griffith.

Barbara Crampton is also naked

and Deborah Shelton is shown in her underwear.

A few soft-core actresses are also in the movie, although it was a bit difficult working out who was who. However, I think I have identified correctly Linda Shaw

Barbara Peckinpaugh

Brinke Stevens

and Patty Lotz.

Denise Loveday is wet and in a bikini (l) but her nude scene is done by a body double Mindi Miller (r).


There are also five video clips to go with this one. They are zipped, in divx format. If they won't play for you, try re-naming the extension to .avi, and they should do fine if you have the latest divx codec.


Gas Pump Girls

With a name like Gas Pump Girls (1978) you know what you're getting - plenty of young women half-dressed.

We see boobs flashed by Rikki Marin

Sandy Johnson

and Kirsten Baker.

Leslie King (l-2) and Linda Lawrence (r-3) are shown in various stages of undress.


Bring It On Again

The only similarity between Bring It On Again (2004) and Bring It On
(2000) are the cheerleaders. There is no nudity.

Anne Judson-Yager strips down to her underwear

and there are some lovely cheerleaders to look at.

The Opposite of Sex

No nudity in The Opposite of Sex (1998) but some lovely caps of Christina Ricci

and pokies by Lisa Kudrow.






Heather Peace in Ultimate Force
Charisma Carpenter in Flirting with Danger
Eva Derrek: Standing Still
Carla Harvey: Standing Still
Nikki Ziering: Standing Still
Heidi Hawking: Grandma's Boy
Alice Braga: Cidade Baixa. She is the niece of long-time Funhouse favorite Sonia Braga.