• * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








The Masseuse Returns


The Masseuse Returns concerns a dirt bike racer who is off his stride because he's being sabotaged by his manager. His manager's plan is to screw the racer out of all of his sponsorship money. He supplies a succession of small breasted brunettes to keep him distracted, and fires his trainer, hiring what he thinks is a dumb blonde kids' gymnastics teacher. Big mistake. The blonde (Monica Mahem) is actually a former top female dirt bike racer who has always been hot for our hero, and quickly figures out the scam as well!

There is very little going on except lukewarm simulated sex, but there are positives: (1) the cast consists of some fresh faces, not the usual softcore players; (2) the music is acceptable; (3) several of the woman have natural breasts; (4)  Monica Mayhem is entertaining. Given those four elements, The Masseuse Returns overcomes a weak storyline to meet the minimum requirements for softcore genre entertainment.

Monica Mahem and three small-breasted brunettes show everything in a total of five sex scenes. All show labia to some degree.


Monica Mahem











The Tooth Fairy


A horror flick for today. Nothing special here except for one decent nude scene.

Carrie Fleming kicks it off with some very nice cleavage and then bares her delectable boobies.

Caps and three clips.


No nudity from Chandra West, but she sure is cute.







Notes and collages

Total Recall 2070


Carole Mackereth









Film Clips

Remember the Daze (2007), aka The Beautiful Ordinary, is "a glimpse into the teenage wasteland of suburbia 1999 that takes place over 24-hours, and the teenagers who make their way through the last day of high school in the last year of the past millennium."

Variety wrote: "In high school, every night can feel like the most important night of your life. The luster still remains eight years later in NYU grad Jess Manafort’s debut feature, which follows nearly 20 teens on the last day of senior year, 1999. As high school zeitgeist stories go, “Remember the Daze” holds no great secrets or revelations, no iconic characters or “American Pie”-style set pieces, but it demonstrates considerable promise on the part of its director and her up-and-coming cast. These are talents to watch; as soon as one breaks out, pic could become a hot commodity."


Here's Amber Heard and Marnette Petersen

The Take (2007) is a film you probably read a bit about because Rosie Perez said it was uncomfortable to do sex scenes with her platonic friend John Leguizamo. The sex scene scene in these clips is way too dark to see much of anything, but you can see a bit of Rosie's chest  in the shower scenes. She is 43 years old.

The plot: "After he's shot during a heist in East L.A., an armored-truck driver (Leguizamo) wrestles with rehabilitation and tracking down the man (Tyrese Gibson) who committed the crime."

Ubalda, All Naked and Warm (1972) is a silly Benny Hill-style sex comedy from Italy. This was typical of the Italian crap made in the early 70s. That may not sound so appealing until you realize that the cast includes two legendary Euro-babes, Edwige Fenech and Karin Schubert! Edwige was in her prime at 24, and Karin was 27.

Libertarias (1996), aka Juegos de Guerra is a Spanish film about the Spanish Civil War. I don't know anything about it, but I can see that Ariadna Gil is very naked, and she's a favorite, and The DVD only costs eight bucks new, so I ordered it. Maybe I'll be writing more about it later. Or not, if it bores the shit out of me.

I knew that my cable company's pricy subscription to the Flemish Network would eventually pay off for me. Here's Hilde Heijnen in the Flemish police series "Rupel." (2004-2006) (I'm kidding. I don't have a Flemish channel, and somebody else did these captures.)

Finally, here's Willa Ford as Anna Nicole Smith. Looks like some of this is definitely Willa, but some may (or may not) be a body double. I don't know anything about the quality of this production. There are no comments or reviews at IMDb.



Daisy Fuentes at St Barts last November. I suppose hi-q versions can't be far behind, but these are nice for a starter.




A pretty see-through from Claire Danes. I thought her career was through after Mod Squad, and she did disappear for about three years, but she re-emerged with a more elegant figure and new determination. She has proved remarkably adaptable and is apparently quite pleasant to work with, so she has continued to work and to build a solid career across a variety of different genres. She also now has a big endorsement contract with Gucci. Who could have guessed that in 2001?