Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated


Andre the Butcher (2005)

Also known as Dead Meat, this is an ultralow-budget horror/comedy about a butcher who prefers human meat. He's an unstoppable super-human monster (ala Jason in those Friday 13th movies), although he has a back story as a real human butcher. He also has the ability to show people their sins before he butchers them, and he's played by ... (wait for it) ... Ron Jeremy!

The quality of the film can best be summed up by the fact that Jeremy is not only the sole recognizable name in the cast, but he's also the best actor. The auteur did make the wise decision to keep the horror turned to low and the comedy to high, so the film is almost watchable for its own self-mockery. If it had some real T&A I would remove the "almost" from that phrase.

The most interesting thing about is it the nudity story, short story though it is. April Renee played a role which did not require nudity, but another role did call for a nude scene, and the actress refused. So ol' April basically said, "Why pay a body double? I have boobs. Give me the money." She thus ended up doing nudity in the film, but not in her own role! In keeping with the good humor of the project, she is credited twice, with one of them specified "boobs by April Renee." (See the collage)


Running Mates (2000)

Running Mates is a basic cable movie which is basically one of those childish "what if we had a Presidential candidate with integrity?" movies. Sixty years ago, it would have starred Jimmy Stewart as the honest "aw shucks" politician who stands up for the people against the money boys. Our current equivalent of Jimmy is Magnum P.I.

Most interesting is the fact that it actually has some nudity. TNT is getting pretty daring! I suppose this is a body double, but it is Teri Hatcher's character.

Here is the zipped .wmv

And here's the collage:

Other Crap:

Four clips from The Lost City - Andy Garcia's labor of love about pre-revolutionary Havana and its magical music.

"AIRLINES TO STOW PASSENGERS IN OVERHEAD BINS" ... Bold New Strategy to Boost Sagging Revenues

Rosie O'Donnell is expected to make a surprise return to daytime television by taking over exiting Meredith Vieira's slot on the talk show 'The View.'

Senate Bill May Ban Streaming MP3s, because Senate can find nothing more important to work on.

Early Names of Music Bands ... but where is the Rochester legend Gene Cornish and the Unbeatables?

Funny video: Great Moments in Black History looks at token black cartoon characters

13-year-old girl fulfills wish of terminally ill mom, plays in LPGA event

  • "Dakoda is three years older than Beverly Klass was when she made her LPGA debut as a 10-year-old in 1967."

Jumping Fish Hits Boater In Face; She'll Need Plastic Surgery

Now THIS is a pooch - Stubby the WW1 hero

'Galactica' Prequel on Tap at Sci Fi

My Space goes Hollywood

Conan O' Brien sneaks a kiss from Rebecca Romijn

Julie Brown - The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun

Snoop Dogg Arrested at London Airport

  • I keep tellin' the Snooper, "When you have to go to Europe, fly in through Amsterdam!"

Idol narrows it to five

Keira Knightley chosen world's sexiest by FHM

  • "The 21-year-old topped FHM's 100 Sexiest Women poll ahead of glamour model Keeley Hazel and Scarlett Johansson."

Sharon Stone wins libel payout from British daily

  • "Sharon Stone has accepted an apology and substantial undisclosed libel damages from a British daily newspaper over a claim she left her son asleep in a car while she dined out."

Jolie and Pitt to star in Atlas Shrugged?

  • The 49-year-old novel is 1100 pages long and has long been considered virtually unfilmable.

Yet another clip from Mission: Impossible III

This week's movies (125 screens): Hard Candy - 61% positive reviews (This is the "teenaged girl as Charles Bronson" movie)

This week's movies (2000 screens): Stick It -only two reviews on file.

  • Slant Magazine: "Jessica Bendinger looks to do for gymnastics what her Bring It On did for cheerleading: namely, give a stereotypically girlie-girl activity some defiant, individualistic attitude."

This week's movies (3600 screens) R.V. - 33% positive reviews

  • The bad reviews were very bad - like, lowest possible ratings

This week's movies (1800 screens): United 93 - 88% positive reviews

This week's movies (2200 screens): Akeelah and the Bee - 88% positive reviews


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




(Don't Stop My) Crazy Love for You (1993)

The former Miss Asia, Yvonne Yung Hung, is back again, as a popular TV personality, with a "man on the street" show. She lives with her auntie, sleeps with stuffed animals, and has the perfect rich and handsome boyfriend. Unfortunately, she also has a stalker. Other than his obsession with her, which caused him to move into a building within telephoto range of her, and to sleep with a mannequin he pretends is her, he is a normal businessman, an inventor of security systems.

We first see him get out of control when drunks heckle her in the street. He follows them to a restroom, and rearranges their faces with a baseball bat. She is alerted to the problem when she wakes up to find him standing over her in her bedroom, but she doesn't have time to see who it is. By coincidence, he is the one hired to secure her apartment. He manages to dispose of the perfect boyfriend, corners her, and the climax is a 5-minute rape scene which includes some of the best flubtitles ever assembled: "You shot my dickie. You are that cruel."

Of all the Hong Kong movies I have yet seen, Dang bu zhu de feng qing is the one most similar to an American thriller. This is no better than dozens of similar US efforts, and adds nothing to the genre. D.

4.9 at IMDb


The lovely Yvonne Yung Hung shows breasts,

as does an unknown party guest.


House of Whipcord (1974)

House of Whipcord  is a British Horror/Thriller.

A young French model is at a party and is a little embarrassed by a nude photo of her on display, the shooting of which got her arrested and fined 10 pounds, and was censored from the advertising campaign as well. She meets a young man at the party with the apt name of Mark D. Sade, and accepts a dinner invitation from him. They get along well, and he invites her to meet his parents. He neglects to mention that his father is a retired judge, and his mother a discharged prison matron, and that the two of them live in an old prison, where they punish young women they feel the courts were too lenient with. It is the son's job to lure them there.

Conditions there are awful, and there are many rules, including no talking at any time, bible memorization, and anything else that occurs to the woman running it. For the first infraction of any rule, it is two weeks in solitary. The second results in 40 lashes with a cat o' nine tails, and the third simply results in death by hanging. Although the judge, who is blind and forgetful, doesn't realize it, no prisoner has ever been released. In fact, he is told he is signing release orders, when he is actually signing death warrants. The French girl (Penny Irving), reminds the matron of the French prisoner that caused her to be sacked from her job as the youngest prison matron ever.

The conclusion is not what I would call a feel-good sort of ending.

The story could have been made into a first-rate genre film with more budget, better acting, three-dimensional characters and better direction/editing. The story is an interesting and unique one, but the execution (excuse the pun) could have been far better, and many scenes are so dark it is not possible to see what is happening.  The new widescreen DVD release by Shriek Show is just as dismal in video quality as the old full-negative 4/3 PAL tape, and has less nudity!


IMDB readers say 4.6 of 10, which may be about right.

Both my original images and the new ones are included to see the differences.

Penny Irving shows all three Bs after a shower, while chatting with her flat mate. She repeats the triple-b performance again in jail, while being strip-searched.

Old full-screen images

New widescreen images:

Ann Michelle shows breasts after sex with her boyfriend.

Old full-screen images

New widescreen images:

We see a long shot of a naked woman from the rear before being flogged.  It may or may not be Judy Robinson, as it was supposedly her character.






Today the Hankster Hillbilly Tour wraps up Southern Comforts.  

Wendy Winders topless.

The feature on today's menu is Monica Gayle who has that "girl next door" look. The girl that lived next door to me never got totally naked like Monica does in this little epic. She has a scene where she is fighting off a rape attempt by the dim-witted "Junior." I have no idea why she was protesting, because earlier she was all over him.

Nice full frontal strip at the beauty contest with other girls in the background.

I like Monica so much that I took a little side trip to 1968 for Monica's "Babe in Bondage" scene in "Undercover Vixens". She's topless in this one.






Clips from The Man Who Fell to Earth, in which David Bowie played an alien. Lots of nekkidness, including

some topless dorkie fondling.

Only gal who was the least bit famous is Candy Clark. Scrawny gal but cute as a dickens.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Continued tomorrow.








Emmanuelle Vaugier in Hysteria

The Girls of the Sunset Strip

Monique Parent Tanya Poole Maria Fallace Lisa Throw Kim Dawson Crysty Nelson





Three words: Alba wardrobe malfunction
Aussie actress Poppy Montgomery struttin' her stuff.
Kiki Dunst in the French trailer for Marie Antoinette.

 (The butt could be a body double. We don't know at this point.)




Pat's comments in yellow...

The Lanesborough hotel bar in London is offering what could be the most expensive drink in the world. It's a 1790 bottle of cognac produced three years before French King Louis 16th was beheaded.  One glass costs 1700 pounds (over $3,000 US).  One guest said he was there with three
companions and asked for something special to cap off a good night.  He said he considered the cognac until he learned four drinks would have cost 7,000 pounds ($12,500) and "we settled for a cheaper one."

*  It wasn't MUCH cheaper...They ordered Starbucks coffee.

Elton John's new musical "Lestat" opened on Broadway, and critics panned it with countless vampire puns, such as "bloody awful," "sucked of life" and "musical kiss of death."  The show could survive if it's popular with out-of-town tourists, but the story might not appeal to Mid-Westerners: it's about gay vampires, one of whom has a sexual relationship with his mother.  One critic said it does prove that "a gay vampire with a two-octave range can be just as dull as a straight one."

*  On the bright side, it also proves that something on Broadway sucks more than Julia Roberts.

A Bach scholar believes some of Bach's lesser works might actually be by his music student wife because of the handwriting and because they seem like the work of an immature female

* For instance, Bach's "Requiem Mass For the Breakup of 'N Sync."