Other Crap:

Sherlock Holmes is real! "A man who spent five hours naked and stuck in the chimney of his stepmother's home was arrested on "suspicion of being under the influence of drugs'"

Colbert looks at David Lee Roth's radio career

Colbert Report: Contacting John Lennon with psychic power

  • This is the kind of science Stephen likes -- the kind with the word 'pseudo' in front of it.

Colbert has found a threat almost as bad as bears: Tom Hanks

The Daily Show looks at gas prices

The Daily Show's Rob Corddry analyzes the President's new relationship with the oil companies.

Tom Selleck talks to Jon Strewart about 'Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise,' the first movie he's ever done with a colon in the title.

The Daily Show's "Resident Expert," John Hodgman, talks about judging the Army essay contest on how to defeat the Iraqi insurgency.

  • Hodgman is hilarious in this.

The trailer for The Death of Mr. Lazarescu, a Romanian film described as a "Dantesque odyssey deep into the bowels of a big city medical establishment."

Here's the trailer for Lonely Hearts, Salma Hayek's latest.

Watch Conspiracy Theory Rock, the skit which has been pulled from SNL re-runs.

  • The 1998 SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK parody, animated by J.J. Sedelmaier Productions, criticizes corporate ownership of the media and takes some sharp jabs at NBC owner General Electric. Needless to say, the cartoon aired only once on NBC.

The 2006 edition of The World Factbook is now online

C Is For Cookie

  • "Movie Trailer Spoof of V for Vendetta, featuring the Muppets. What happens in a futuristic world where the consumption of cookies is controlled by the government??"

The trailer for Pathfinder

  • An action-adventure set in the time when Vikings tried to conquer North America, "Pathfinder" tells the heroic story of a young Norse boy left behind after his clan shipwrecks on the Eastern shores. Despite his lineage, the boy is raised by the very Indians his kinsmen set out to destroy. Now, as the Vikings return to stage another barbaric raid on his village, the 25 year-old Norse warrior (Karl Urban) wages a personal war to stop the Vikings' trail of death and destruction. Forging his own path, his destiny is revealed and his identity re-claimed.

The worst song of all time, part II

FOX NEWS-WHITE HOUSE MERGER COMPLETED ... Bill O'Reilly Named Secretary of Defense

  • According to those familiar with the deal, the final sticking point in the negotiations was ironed out late last night when President George W. Bush agreed to report to Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch.

Angelina Jolie Tops People's "100 Most Beautiful List", just edging out Carrot Top once again. Clint Howard didn't make the list, but Kirstie Alley did - as numbers 92-96.

Woman wants $1.2 million for office spanking

Clerks 2 Video Blog - Fuck you, Rich Little!

  • "Randal" does a killer Hank Hill impersonation.

Softball on the Mall Was Bipartisan Fun Till Politics Intruded

  • This is such a great true story, you'd think it was fabricated. The Democrats wanted the year-end playoffs to be "socialistic" - high teams against high, low against low, to give the bad teams an equal chance. (The two top teams would play one another in the first round!) The Republicans favored the usual high-low seeding.

I want a Freeware Utility to ... 450 common problems solved.

The Spanish socialist party says apes should be given rights equal to men.

  • Like VOTING rights, for example? I wonder if apes will vote socialist? They seem more like libertarians to me.

Will Smith to star in the remake of The Omega Man

The first eight minutes of The Proposition

  • "Set against the harsh and unforgiving landscape of the 1880s Australian outback, 'The Proposition' is a visually stunning tale of loyalty, revenge and the quest for justice in a lawless land. Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) is a renegade. Along with his two brothers, Arthur (Danny Huston) and Mikey (Richard Wilson), he is wanted for murder. When Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone) captures Charlie and Mikey, he offers Charlie a proposition in an attempt to end the brutality that surrounds them -- the only way to save Mikey from the noose is for Charlie to track down and kill Arthur, his psychotic older brother. An impossible moral dilemma leads to a murderous climax."

The trailer and three clips from Down in the Valley, Edward Norton's new film

Four clips and a featurette - Art School Confidential

The first clip from Poseidon

Polish TV to ban erotic ads during pope's visit

  • Will the pope be watching a lot of TV while he's there?
  • "Ach, put on that Laverne und Shirley. I liebe those guys, even in Polish!"
  • Badziak also said TVP would avoid transmitting adverts for products such as beer and intimate hygiene items during the pope's visit.
  • Yeah, God forbid that he find out about women having periods!
  • Wait! Polish TV HAS erotic ads?

One of the greatest scenes in film history: Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia play the giant keyboard with their feet

David Fincher discusses his film, Zodiac

Incredible examples of Sand Sculpture (Great sculptures, but put your sound on mute if you're where people can hear you. It has a loud, obnoxious talking ad with clucking chickens.)

Kirsten Dunst shows her bum in the French trailer for that Marie Antoinette movie (actual link to the trailer)

The first 8 1/2 minutes of Hard Candy, the female revenge thriller.


  • Men hate breast implants, and don't care much for botox
  • Women prefer lumberjacks to metrosexuals.
  • 70% of men don't even think women should wear make-up

The Beerbelly - a false gut which can be used to sneak beer into ball games.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1995)

"Mun ching sap daai huk ying" is a classic Hong Kong Category 3 film featuring a former Miss Asia, Yvonne Yung Hung. She studied dance as a child, only to injure her back. She moved on to a successful modeling career, then won the Miss Asia pageant, then in 1993 decided to try Category 3 films, an unpopular decision with her upscale parents. She has gone on to many roles in both Category 3 and mainstream films, as well as a recording career. A Chinese Torture Chamber Story is the film that catapulted her to stardom because her ability to portray a victim made her perfectly suited for this role.

The films opens with voice-over, describing the torture and punishment that were a part of the Quing dynasty court procedure, where they tortured confessions out of the accused, and then dispatched them in inventive ways. The narration is played seriously and, I am told, is hilarious to those who speak Cantonese. The entire film is a send-up of Qing dynasty court procedure, Taoist sexual practices and Confucian moralizing. Cut to a courtroom, where Little Cabbage (Yung Hung) is accused of murdering her husband and committing incest with Young Scholar, a wealthy prince. The facts of the case are that someone prescribed an aphrodisiac for her husband, who already had an enormous cock, and it exploded, killing him. More about that later.

The judge decides to loosen her tongue before questioning, and commands his men to "beat her ass 20 times," which they do gleefully right in the courtroom. She still claims she is being framed, and is innocent of both murder and adultery. The young scholar also proclaims his innocence. Little by little, in flashback sequences, interspersed with courtroom torture, we learn the story. The young scholar is married to over-sexed Ching Mai, and requires inventive marital aids to satisfy her. He is attracted to Little Cabbage's small feet, and brings her into his household. When her parents are killed by robbers, he takes responsibility for her, and wisher to marry her as a concubine. She asks that he wait for her one year of filial piety (mourning) to pass before taking her. Meanwhile, the wife is not thrilled at her presence, even less so when Little Cabbage spies on her having sex with the judge's son.

Ching Mai waits until The Young Scholar is away on business, and marries Little Cabbage off to a poor man with a gargantuan penis, thinking that he will kill her with it. Afraid of him, Little Cabbage cowers on their wedding night, until he realizes that intercourse is probably not possible given his size, and we have a tender homage to the pottery wheel scene in Ghost, complete with Unchained Melody playing on traditional Chinese Instruments, while she masturbates him. Meanwhile, the young scholar is having adventures on his own, in the persons of two "Sex Fu" masters, our old hero Elvis Tsui and Julie Lee Wah-yuet, who fly through the air having sex, much like the fight scenes in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Elvis finally satisfies her with a combination of "Invincible Mouth," "Oral Attack," "Invincible Wheel" and "Wonder Screw."

The two befriend the young scholar, a friendship that later helps his sister save him and Little Cabbage. The judge's son is not yet through with his dirty work. He decides to become invisible, and then screw Little Cabbage. When he tries, her husband defends her honor against the invisible attacker, which includes slipping between the two and getting a mouthful for his trouble. Thus Little Cabbage, who is accused of adultery, is still a virgin. The judge, in trying to protect his son, employs everything he can think of to extract confessions, including finger torture, pulling out of fingernails, bamboo under the fingernails, and many more.

This film has a little less in the way of nudity than many of the Category 3 films, but includes ,. ,

IMDb readers say 6.0, and, as the film had a limited US release, there are a few reviews linked, all positive. It is my understanding that the dialogue is superb in the original Cantonese. The subtitles can't come close to giving us that experience, but they do add their own unique humor, such as a women shouting at the height of passion, "It is so comfortable, it is so comfortable." Remember that this is a comedy, lest you take the torture, which will make you wince, too seriously. If you are going to see one Hong Kong Category 3 film, this is a very good choice.


breasts and buns from Yvonne Yung Hung

 full frontal from Julie Lee Wah-yuet

breasts and buns from Ching Mai

breasts and buns from an unknown who plays the sister of the young scholar.






Today the Hankster Hillbilly tour zeros in on "Southern Comforts."

Like yesterday, the key phrase is pretty much full frontal nudity all the time. Top billed Judy Angel starts us off with a cute beaver flash to the local hayseed.

Cute Monica Gayle joins Judy Angel for some action down at the ol' watering hole.

Wendy Winders is back along with Judy Angel.

Wendy Winders and Monica Gayle.

All three girls together.






Brainscan returns with a few more video clips from "Satin Smoke".

The final Satin-Smokee is Hefmag model and B-movie actress Shannon Leahy. She sports a pair of robo-hooters that must have taken a year to get used to.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5)








"Le Matou" (1985) aka "The Alley Cat"

Quebec six-hour mini-series although what's shown in English Canada is far less - an abridged two hour television movie with all the naughty parts removed.

Monique Spaziani (no relation to yours truly) is nekkid under sheets,

Isabel Lorca shows pokies while bra-less in t-shirt,

Johanne Fontaine shows some mega cleavage,

Pauline Lapointe (twin sister of Louise Portal) shows bare butt in photo,

and some uncredited strippers shows some boobs and buns.


"The Associates": episode E Pluribus Unum

A 2001 sweeps episode with the obligatory strippers.

Melissa DiMarco (l) and Lori Alter (r) are sexy as strippers,

Tamara Hickey is caught in her legal briefs, and

Marnie McPhail shows some leg.


"Puppets Who Kill": episode Bill's Wedding

Deborah Odell is sexy

 while Paula Boudreau has some fully clothed puppet sex.


"Jinnah On Crime II" (2003)

Second part of short lived franshise.

Pamela Sinha and Veena Sood are both sexy exercising.



"Jeff Ltd.": episode In the End You Get What You Deserve

Episode ends with Jeff getting an anal probe.

Heather Mathieson shows a lot of cleavage and leg as nurse.


Godiva's season II: episode Little Engines

No nudity but the aptly named Ginger Busch shows some butt cheek

 and Ingrid Torrance some cleavage.


"Naked Josh" season III

Begins Tuesdays May 16 with at least ten new episodes.






A tiny bit of public see-through from Patricia Heaton.
A tiny bit of public see-through from X-Tina.
Amber Smith in Dead End
Debbie Rochon in Dead & Rotting
Alicia Loren on The Sopranos




Pat's comments in yellow...

The new painting of Bill Clinton at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery was not greeted warmly.  Unlike other dignified presidential poses, it shows Clinton standing in profile, his jacket pulled back and his left hand on his hip, looking toward viewers with an odd half-scowl.  Some people said he looks like a guy hitting on women at a nightclub.  And the artist left off his wedding ring.  The curator said Clinton appears "intense" and has a "warm gaze" as if to "greet an unseen visitor."  But an anonymous former Clinton aide told the New York Post, "I don't get the whole hands-on-the-hip thing. I don't know what it's supposed to convey."

*  He added, "And why isn't he wearing any pants?"

Three teenage thugs in Palm Beach, Florida, were arrested for allegedly robbing David Copperfield and two women on the street after his show.  They pulled guns and stole personal items and over $700 cash from the women, but Copperfield said he used a magician's trick on them: he turned his pockets inside out to show they were empty, even though they actually contained a wallet, passport and cell phone. 

* elephant!

Pinup model Cindy Margolis, who billed herself as the "most downloaded woman" on the Internet, has finally agreed to pose nude for Playboy on her 40th birthday.  She said she always refused because "in the past, it would have been for gratuitous reasons," but at 40, it's empowering.  She said, "Thank goodness for 'Desperate Housewives.'  You're not dead just because you are married and have children...It will be fun to go up against the 20-year-olds and show them that they don't have anything on me."

*  Why is it only empowering to pose nude once you've waited so long that nobody wants to see it anymore?


Tony Snow of Fox News will be named the new White House press secretary and mouthpiece for the Bush Administration

* Finally, a man with years of experience at the job!