"Dias de Boda"
Dias de Boda (2002) is a Spanish dogma film, or at least claims to be. I have some trouble believing that they managed a dark blue night sex scene with ambient light, but anything is possible. The camera work, often hand held is certainly bad enough to be Dogma compliant. Now for the bad news -- the plot. Dias de Boda means Wedding Day, and is a wedding told in near real time. Comba Campoy, daughter of a publisher, is marrying his most famous author. Her mother is not pleased with the choice. Turns out there is ample reason, as the has to be one of the most dysfunctional families in cinema history. Seams the groom is bisexual, and has had a long time affair with her father, among many others. The mother is a piece of work in her own right, and doesn't like anyone or anything. The most normal person in the story is her aunt, a lesbian psychic who is more a mother to her than her own mother.
A rather un-priestly priest, a movie producer and his star and mistress, Pilar Saavedra, and the groom's grandparents, who ran away from their managed care facility and hitch-hiked to attend the wedding round out the major characters. It seems the groom is constantly kissing someone passionately, more often male than female, and, surprise surprise, the bride ends up jealous. Oh, and I almost forgot the wedding band, which consisted of two bagpipes, two drums, and someone who played sea shells.
Both Saavedra and Campoy show breasts in sex scenes. IMDb calls it a drama, and has it rated at 6.2 of 10. I suppose it might have some appeal to the gay/lesbian community, but it held no interest for me whatsoever. I find it telling that 4 of the 12 voters gave it a one. That is my take as well. The idea of a Dogma film is that you take away the glitz and concentrate on telling a story. I guess nobody told these folks that the story should be worth telling. This is a D-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Just One of the Guys (1985)
The mid 80s were the Golden Age of school-oriented comedies and
light "triumph of the underdog" dramas. The 1983-87 era produced Revenge of the Nerds, Risky
Business, Better off Dead, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, One Crazy
Summer, The Karate Kid, and Back to School, as well as a slew of
minor films like Just One of the Guys and Nerds in Paradise. These
films made stars of John Cusack, Tom Cruise and Matthew Broderick.
The youthploitation films of that era have many common elements:
The nerds, outsiders, and outcasts
must eventually triumph over the rigid caste system.
William Zabka is often the
one-dimensional evil jock who must eventually get his comeuppance.
Curtis Armstrong is often our hero's
nerdy best friend.
Just One of the Guys has all the
usual suspects except Curtis Armstrong, who didn't really fit in
because our hero is a girl.
A high school senior girl feels that
she has been denied a chance to win a journalism contest simply
because she is a girl. Therefore, following the official logic of
movie students, she transfers to another school, changes her hair
and clothing, and re-submits her article as a guy. She finds that
being a guy isn't as cool as it seems, especially when she is
pursued by a horny girl, and falls in love with a guy who thinks
she's another guy.
It isn't any better than it sounds,
but it isn't any worse either. Although it fails to rise to the
level of the best films listed above, it is a cute enough film which
mines some easy laughs with weird minor characters and predictable
situations. I didn't really get absorbed in it, and it never
raises itself to a level of either great truth-seeking or great
comedy, but I didn't feel an urge to grab the remote while I
watched, mostly because Joyce Hyser is quite believable and
sympathetic as Teri/Terry.
Scoop's note: Hyser just about disappeared from the business
around 1990. After Wedding Band, she had few roles of any size and
never had another lead - until now. Last year she did a
straight-to-vid flick called Art of Revenge which will be re-issued
on DVD in about a week, and is apparently awful. (Ziggy's
- One of the truly disgusting sites on the net-
Ogrish.com : Can you handle life?
Blender Mag looks at Courtney Love. (Includes a new-to-me topless
British audience shocked ... SHOCKED ... to determine that Britney
lip-synchs in concert!
Cate Blanchett gives birth to a son, reportedly with an
epic, swelling musical score in the background.
- The trailer for the Cole Porter biopic,
Puffy opens on Broadway in 'Raisin in the Sun'
One woman tries to catch a banana in her
mouth - when it is shot out of another girl's bum
- The trailer for an offbeat thriller,
The Burial Society
- Here's the trailer from
Frankie and Johnny Are Married: " A romantic comedy
about Michael Pressman, a successful television director/producer
and Lisa Chess, a talented struggling actress, who are married and
decide to mount a production of 'Frankie and Johnnie in the Clair
de Lune' in equity-waiver in Los Angeles with the hopes of
bringing some life and joy back into their marriage. They bring in
Alan Rosenberg to play Johnny and Lisa plays Frankie and Michael
directs. What starts off as a simple idea to revitalize the
marriage turns into an utter nightmare. Alan becomes insanely
difficult and the marriage becomes even more strained as the
rehearsal process becomes tense and explosive. It reaches a point
where after a devastatingly disastrous preview, Michael shuts the
play down and loses his whole investment, and possibly his
marriage. His only choice is to take over the role of Johnny
himself and fire Alan Rosenberg. Now the stakes are truly high as
to whether or not this couple can pull it off. "
- A full ten minute clip plus six short clips from the De Niro
- Seven new clips from Tina Fey's
- Clear out your calendar. Have your secretary hold your
appointments. It's time to watch,
"The Making of Garfield"
- Nine new clips from
Van Helsing. The marketing of this high budget film is
starting to seem a bit desperate.
- Apaprently unaware it is a work of fiction,
defenders of Christianity Rebut 'The Da Vinci Code'.
Next they plan to rebut The Chronicles of Narnia.
Paria Hilton is The New Guess Girl.
- An oldie but goodie:
Posh Spice flashes the goodies in public
PRINCE HARRY has landed a date with teen rocker AVRIL LAVIGNE
- The trailer for
Open Water : "Based on true events, 'Open Water'
follows an American couple, Daniel and Susan, (Travis and Ryan) on
an island holiday. Upon arrival at their hotel, we learn that
Daniel and Susan's relationship is under strain from their
workaholic lifestyles, and they need a vacation even more than
they realized. The next morning, the loving and rested couple,
certified scuba divers, board a local dive boat for an underwater
tour of the reef. The boat is crowded with other vacationers, and
due to a series of innocent miscommunications and a distracted
crew, the couple is, after only 40 minutes or so underwater,
accidentally left behind. What follows is the story of their
ordeal: cold, alone and miles from land, the couple is adrift in
Preternaturally perky starlet Jessica Simpson is pals with
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, one of the least perky
government officials ever, reports Us Weekly."
- This is awesome.
The Star Wars Kid will Kill Bill
Jordan breaks up al Qaeda offense, Pippen and Rodman
clog their passing lanes.
Eric Idle has compared his crucifixion in Monty Python's The Life
of Brian with the latest one in The Passion of the Christ
and has found his own infinitely superior. Writing in Sunday's Los
Angeles Times, Idle commented that although he hasn't seen the Mel
Gibson film, 'I gather that Mel doesn't handle the comedy too
well, and he seems to totally ignore the singing opportunities of
the crucifixion altogether."
Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups
- VICTORIA Beckham was publicly humiliated last night when an
advert featuring husband
David's sex adventures appeared on the big TV screens - while Posh
watched the game
Save up your pennies - Charisma Carpenter will be featured in the
Clinton's Memoirs to Be Released in June: "If Bill
Clinton turns out a first-rate memoir, especially about his
presidential years, he will be a true path breaker. The only
highly regarded presidential memoir is by Ulysses Grant, who
devoted the vast majority of the book to his triumphant Civil War
military leadership and wrote virtually nothing about his often
disastrous presidency. Most presidential works have the dull,
self-serving tone of a prepared speech. They suffer from the
impersonal hand of a ghost writer or from the impersonal tastes of
the president. The memoirs of Herbert Hoover, for example, include
balance sheets on food assistance to Armenia and Lithuania and
estimated totals of dried fruit exports. "
What's With Our 15 Intel Agencies? - The CIA, we know. But what
are the other 14?
Virtual Uffizi: the complete catalogue of the Uffizi Gallery in
Alfred Hitchcock - The Master of Suspense "IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN THE SUSPENSE MEISTER THIS LOVINGLY ASSEMBLED SPOT
SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST STOP ON THE WEB."
Iraq is not Gigli, says Rumsfeld: "For one thing, Gigli
was out of theaters after two weeks, and the war in Iraq will be
with us for years and years and years and years, Mr. Rumsfeld
Iraq gets new flag, drops 'God is Great', adds Halliburton phone
Here's the new $50 bill
Report: Conte Gave Steroids To Bonds, 26 Others: "The
list of athletes includes five-time Olympic medalist Marion Jones,
track star Tim Montgomery, and baseball players Barry Bonds, Jason
Giambi and Gary Sheffield."
Elvis Movie Title or Cocktail?
The Late Show with David Letterman : Klassic Komedy Klips
Mel Gibson to be the next pope?
ANNIESPRINKLE.ORG - the wisdom of the porn star turned Ph. D.
Heather Locklear is set to play Hilary Duff's mother in the
romantic comedy 'The Perfect Man'
The crazy phenomenon of Stiltsville. Everyone who loves
Miami remembers some houses that sit out in the water, in the
middle of Biscayne Bay, off Miami's shoreline, just south of Key
Biscayne. There were two dozen or more structures at one time, and
their reputation includes some unsavory stories of gambling and
bootlegging, but hurricanes have reduced the number to seven.
More great 80's Commercials from X-E
Russkies may sue Mel Gibson. Apparently, the entire
country wants a refund for What Women Want.
Actor Kenan Thompson as Fat Albert, or as he is now
known, Metabolically-impaired Albert. You think this movie might
just ... um ... suck?
The text of John F. Kerry's testimony before the Senate Committee
on Foreign Relations on April 22, 1971. Oh, darn, I
just don't know what I did with those medals.
Director Sam Mendes (AMERICAN BEAUTY) has decided on his next
project. Mendes will direct an adaptation of the
Anthony Swafford war memoir JARHEAD. The book chronicles one
Marine's experiences during the Gulf War.
- Four clips from Tina Fey's comedy,
"Friends" bid Sayonara on May 6
It's official: NASA will not do movie reviews. In a
related story, Roger Ebert has abandoned his Mars mission.
Now this is a strange concept. Hitler eating watermelon.
The Mouseketeer wanders through London with dirty hair, no make-up
Four free videos from Playboy's Twins &
Playmate Gallery of Heather Kozar, Playmate
of the Year in 1999. Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
- What the hell is going on with the Yankees?
Yankees get four hits, are swept by Bosox. Jeter drops to .175,
Bernie .167. Jeter is 1-for-30 in his past seven games.
Prague's National Theatre Premieres Opera About 1998 Czech Olympic
Hockey Triumph The opera ain't over until the fat lady
cross-checks ... er ... cross-Czechs.
MY BROTHER, KEVIN SPACEY,IS A LYING WEIRDO.
Salman Rushdie marries Padma Lakshmi, the
hottest Indian chick ever.
Jacko Replaces His Lawyers
Walken: a man of a thousand faces -- all his own
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
This is a Tinto Brass film. The
expression "tinto brass" is Italian for "pretty pictures of bums and
gyno close-ups". Shiloh sent in 19 clips. Here are numbers 14-19
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Tragredire (.avi, .wmv)
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)
Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Leaving Metropolis" (2002)
Gay film but with a healthy dose of heterosexual
action by Cherilee Taylor from Paradise Falls.
- Cherilee Taylor: boobs and butt.
"Mask of Death" (1996)
Another movie starring Funhouse favorite Lorenzo Lamas.
No nudity but Heather Hanson spends most her role in her
This biography has been capped before but the
anonymous groupies have now been identified.
Future Envy TV hostess Hayley Verlyn is the
smart one who kept her clothes on.
She's the blonde behind Jimi Hendrix.
Oscar winning pg-rated musical. The only nudity is provided
by Monique Ganderton (the brunette) and April Morgan (the blonde)
credited as "bare woman 1 and 2".
Videonasty about a group of four female clubbers
who think that beating another female clubber to death is funny.
"Freddy vs. Jason" (2003)
Some new caps not covered before.
...cleaning up my hard drive:
'Caps and comments by Dann:
This 1989 Australian horror flick provides an interesting look at late-80's Australia, and a few decent nude scenes, but that's about all.
Story is of a serial killer running amuck at a private boarding school, strangling students with a piece of barbed wire. Unfortunately, poor acting, a lame script, and complete lack of mystery (you have the identity of the killer figured out in the first 10 minutes) keep this from being a very good movie, but they do have the prerequisite shower scene. For nudity watchers only.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Black is another PG rated movie with no nudity, although Marsha Thomason and Jeannette Weegar come close.
"We Married Margo"
No nudity in We Married Margo with some lovely pokies by, in what look like, a silicon-enhanced Jillian Johns. There are also some other lovely ladies.
The Posers, which are a group of bitches, are Sarain Boylan, Emily Hampshire, Jessica Paré and Stefanie von Pfetten. No nudity, just pokies and underwear by the ladies.
"People I Know"
The brief nudity in People I Know comes from an unnamed actress. From Téa Leoni we have pokies and a brief upskirt.
Some lovely breasts shown by Lynette Waldon, Lara Flynn Boyle and some unnamed actresses in Mobsters.
- Lynette Waldon
- Lara Flynn Boyle
Lots of cleavage in Loco Love (aka Mi Casa, Su Casa) by Laura Elena Harring and Margaret Scarborough.
- Laura Elena Harring
- Margaret Scarborough
The nudity in Tripfall comes from that well-known unidentifed stripper, but Katy Boyer fills out a thong bikini very nicely!
- Katy Boyer
|Gena Lee Nolin
||Everyday I thank the Gods for the British Tabloids! Here is a scan featuring Nolin in undies and topless from a News of the World scoop on the former "Baywatch" babe's naughty home video. Here's the story.
|Johnny Moronic 'caps of the beautiful and very sexy Lane in scenes from "Unfaithful" (2002).
|Señor Skin 'caps of Emmanuelle Seigner's younger sister showing off some very lovely breast exposure in scenes from 2 movies. Links 1 and 2 are from "Betty Fisher and Other Stories" (2001), links 3-7 are from "Tristan" (2003).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DA VINCI INVENTED THE CAR
They Forgot The Wings - Among his other achievements, Leonardo da Vinci
might have invented the car. The Institute and Museum of the History of
Science in Florence, Italy, created a model of a spring-propelled car
sketched by da Vinci in 1478, and to their surprise, it works. It was the
first self-propelled vehicle, and was designed to be a robot: it could
travel about 40 meters using programmable steering and a brake released at
a distance via a hidden rope. A museum spokesman said it anticipates the
car by over 400 years, and is even similar to the Mars Rover.
Except that it actually works.
It runs on a spring, only goes 40 meters and you pull on a rope to
stop it...Wow! Da Vinci invented the Yugo!
CELEBRITY PLAYMATE NEWS ROUND-UP
Show Us Your Velveeta - "Showgirls" star Gina Gershon said that at 41, she
was finally ready to pose for Playboy, until she saw the type of layout the
editors wanted and thought it was "really cheesy." She said Playboy "used
to be amazing" but "their pictures are horrible now." She said she feels
so strongly about this, she wishes someone would buy it and let her run it,
and she'd return the nude photos to their "cool '70s style."
So models could finally have pubic hair again?
When she turned them down, they just got Pamela Anderson....again.
Next Stop: Porn - The Star tabloid claims that a source close to Britney
Spears says she's negotiating to pose nude for Playboy because she "wants
to shed her good-girl image completely."
I'm shocked!...Britney Spears thinks she has a "good-girl" image?!
Well, she's already shed her image as a singer.
Now, everybody who had "July, 2004" in the Britney Playboy Spread Pool
is really excited.
BEYONCE'S WIGGING BOTTOM IMMORTALIZED IN WAX
Now Make Her Shake Her Groove Thing! - Sculptors at Madame Tussaud's Wax
Museum in London are working on a model of Beyonce Knowles that's so
realistic, it will have a wiggling butt. A source with Beyonce told the
Sun tabloid that Beyonce's shake is "quite a fast action," so it was hard
to perfect the mechanical booty, but "it's coming along great guns."
It was also hard to perfect her great guns.
Actually, they perfected it weeks ago...They just can't stop staring at
The biggest challenge was finding enough wax to make it.
They tried making their J-Lo statue shake its booty, but it required too
much heavy-duty industrial engineering.