"Dias de Boda"

Dias de Boda (2002) is a Spanish dogma film, or at least claims to be. I have some trouble believing that they managed a dark blue night sex scene with ambient light, but anything is possible. The camera work, often hand held is certainly bad enough to be Dogma compliant. Now for the bad news -- the plot. Dias de Boda means Wedding Day, and is a wedding told in near real time. Comba Campoy, daughter of a publisher, is marrying his most famous author. Her mother is not pleased with the choice. Turns out there is ample reason, as the has to be one of the most dysfunctional families in cinema history. Seams the groom is bisexual, and has had a long time affair with her father, among many others. The mother is a piece of work in her own right, and doesn't like anyone or anything. The most normal person in the story is her aunt, a lesbian psychic who is more a mother to her than her own mother.

A rather un-priestly priest, a movie producer and his star and mistress, Pilar Saavedra, and the groom's grandparents, who ran away from their managed care facility and hitch-hiked to attend the wedding round out the major characters. It seems the groom is constantly kissing someone passionately, more often male than female, and, surprise surprise, the bride ends up jealous. Oh, and I almost forgot the wedding band, which consisted of two bagpipes, two drums, and someone who played sea shells.

Both Saavedra and Campoy show breasts in sex scenes. IMDb calls it a drama, and has it rated at 6.2 of 10. I suppose it might have some appeal to the gay/lesbian community, but it held no interest for me whatsoever. I find it telling that 4 of the 12 voters gave it a one. That is my take as well. The idea of a Dogma film is that you take away the glitz and concentrate on telling a story. I guess nobody told these folks that the story should be worth telling. This is a D-.

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  • Comba Campoy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
  • Pilar Saavedra (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Just One of the Guys (1985)

    The mid 80s were the Golden Age of school-oriented comedies and light "triumph of the underdog" dramas. The 1983-87 era produced Revenge of the Nerds, Risky Business, Better off Dead, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, One Crazy Summer, The Karate Kid, and Back to School, as well as a slew of minor films like Just One of the Guys and Nerds in Paradise. These films made stars of John Cusack, Tom Cruise and Matthew Broderick.

    The youthploitation films of that era have many common elements:

    • The nerds, outsiders, and outcasts must eventually triumph over the rigid caste system.

    • William Zabka is often the one-dimensional evil jock who must eventually get his comeuppance.

    • Curtis Armstrong is often our hero's nerdy best friend.

    Just One of the Guys has all the usual suspects except Curtis Armstrong, who didn't really fit in because our hero is a girl.

    A high school senior girl feels that she has been denied a chance to win a journalism contest simply because she is a girl. Therefore, following the official logic of movie students, she transfers to another school, changes her hair and clothing, and re-submits her article as a guy. She finds that being a guy isn't as cool as it seems, especially when she is pursued by a horny girl, and falls in love with a guy who thinks she's another guy.

    It isn't any better than it sounds, but it isn't any worse either. Although it fails to rise to the level of the best films listed above, it is a cute enough film which mines some easy laughs with weird minor characters and predictable situations.  I didn't really get absorbed in it, and it never raises itself to a level of either great truth-seeking or great comedy, but I didn't feel an urge to grab the remote while I watched, mostly because Joyce Hyser is quite believable and sympathetic as Teri/Terry.

    • Joyce Hyser (1, 2)


    Scoop's note: Hyser just about disappeared from the business around 1990. After Wedding Band, she had few roles of any size and never had another lead - until now. Last year she did a straight-to-vid flick called Art of Revenge which will be re-issued on DVD in about a week, and is apparently awful. (Ziggy's Review)





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Trasgredire (2000)

    Part 3

    This is a Tinto Brass film. The expression "tinto brass" is Italian for "pretty pictures of bums and gyno close-ups". Shiloh sent in 19 clips. Here are numbers 14-19

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Tragredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Leaving Metropolis" (2002)
    Gay film but with a healthy dose of heterosexual action by Cherilee Taylor from Paradise Falls.

    • Cherilee Taylor: boobs and butt. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Mask of Death" (1996)
    Another movie starring Funhouse favorite Lorenzo Lamas. No nudity but Heather Hanson spends most her role in her underwear.

    "Hendrix" (2000)
    This biography has been capped before but the anonymous groupies have now been identified. Future Envy TV hostess Hayley Verlyn is the smart one who kept her clothes on. She's the blonde behind Jimi Hendrix.

    "Chicago" (2002)
    Oscar winning pg-rated musical. The only nudity is provided by Monique Ganderton (the brunette) and April Morgan (the blonde) credited as "bare woman 1 and 2".

    "Posers" (2002)
    Videonasty about a group of four female clubbers who think that beating another female clubber to death is funny.

    "Freddy vs. Jason" (2003)
    Some new caps not covered before.

    ...cleaning up my hard drive:

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    This 1989 Australian horror flick provides an interesting look at late-80's Australia, and a few decent nude scenes, but that's about all.

    Story is of a serial killer running amuck at a private boarding school, strangling students with a piece of barbed wire. Unfortunately, poor acting, a lame script, and complete lack of mystery (you have the identity of the killer figured out in the first 10 minutes) keep this from being a very good movie, but they do have the prerequisite shower scene. For nudity watchers only.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Black Knight"
    Black is another PG rated movie with no nudity, although Marsha Thomason and Jeannette Weegar come close.

    "We Married Margo"
    No nudity in We Married Margo with some lovely pokies by, in what look like, a silicon-enhanced Jillian Johns. There are also some other lovely ladies.

    The Posers, which are a group of bitches, are Sarain Boylan, Emily Hampshire, Jessica Paré and Stefanie von Pfetten. No nudity, just pokies and underwear by the ladies.

    "People I Know"
    The brief nudity in People I Know comes from an unnamed actress. From Téa Leoni we have pokies and a brief upskirt.

    Some lovely breasts shown by Lynette Waldon, Lara Flynn Boyle and some unnamed actresses in Mobsters.

    • Lynette Waldon (1, 2)
    • Lara Flynn Boyle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Unknown (1, 2)

    "Loco Love"
    Lots of cleavage in Loco Love (aka Mi Casa, Su Casa) by Laura Elena Harring and Margaret Scarborough.

    • Laura Elena Harring (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Margaret Scarborough (1, 2)

    The nudity in Tripfall comes from that well-known unidentifed stripper, but Katy Boyer fills out a thong bikini very nicely!

    • Katy Boyer (1, 2, 3)
    • Unknown (1, 2)

    Gena Lee Nolin Everyday I thank the Gods for the British Tabloids! Here is a scan featuring Nolin in undies and topless from a News of the World scoop on the former "Baywatch" babe's naughty home video. Here's the story.

    Diane Lane
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

    Johnny Moronic 'caps of the beautiful and very sexy Lane in scenes from "Unfaithful" (2002).

    Mathilde Seigner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Emmanuelle Seigner's younger sister showing off some very lovely breast exposure in scenes from 2 movies. Links 1 and 2 are from "Betty Fisher and Other Stories" (2001), links 3-7 are from "Tristan" (2003).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    They Forgot The Wings - Among his other achievements, Leonardo da Vinci might have invented the car. The Institute and Museum of the History of Science in Florence, Italy, created a model of a spring-propelled car sketched by da Vinci in 1478, and to their surprise, it works. It was the first self-propelled vehicle, and was designed to be a robot: it could travel about 40 meters using programmable steering and a brake released at a distance via a hidden rope. A museum spokesman said it anticipates the car by over 400 years, and is even similar to the Mars Rover.

  • Except that it actually works.
  • It runs on a spring, only goes 40 meters and you pull on a rope to stop it...Wow! Da Vinci invented the Yugo!

    Show Us Your Velveeta - "Showgirls" star Gina Gershon said that at 41, she was finally ready to pose for Playboy, until she saw the type of layout the editors wanted and thought it was "really cheesy." She said Playboy "used to be amazing" but "their pictures are horrible now." She said she feels so strongly about this, she wishes someone would buy it and let her run it, and she'd return the nude photos to their "cool '70s style."

  • So models could finally have pubic hair again?
  • When she turned them down, they just got Pamela Anderson....again.

    Next Stop: Porn - The Star tabloid claims that a source close to Britney Spears says she's negotiating to pose nude for Playboy because she "wants to shed her good-girl image completely."

  • I'm shocked!...Britney Spears thinks she has a "good-girl" image?!
  • Well, she's already shed her image as a singer.
  • Now, everybody who had "July, 2004" in the Britney Playboy Spread Pool is really excited.

    Now Make Her Shake Her Groove Thing! - Sculptors at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London are working on a model of Beyonce Knowles that's so realistic, it will have a wiggling butt. A source with Beyonce told the Sun tabloid that Beyonce's shake is "quite a fast action," so it was hard to perfect the mechanical booty, but "it's coming along great guns."

  • It was also hard to perfect her great guns.
  • Actually, they perfected it weeks ago...They just can't stop staring at it.
  • The biggest challenge was finding enough wax to make it.
  • They tried making their J-Lo statue shake its booty, but it required too much heavy-duty industrial engineering.