"Alabama Love Story"

Alabama Love Story (2003) is a straight to vid story about a down on his luck rodeo cowboy (Roper, played by Mark Collie) who decides to kidnap the wife of a prominent attorney and political hopeful, Goodie (Coley McCabe). Only problem is, after he gets her to a secluded country farm, he discovers that her husband doesn't want her back, and, in fact, has been plotting with his mistress to get rid of her.

Naturally, the two fall in love, get lots of money, and live happily ever after. McCabe showers naked outside in a translucent plastic curtain. We can make out the three Bs, but barely. I got really sick of the country accents, didn't much like the country music sound track, and smelled the ending coming a mile off. If you want it locate it at IMDb, look for Roper and Goodie. Maybe that was a working title or something at one time, but it has never been released under that name. It is still awaiting 5 votes. Act one reminded me very much of Ruthless People, and it went down hill from there. D.

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  • Coley McCabe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Threes, Menage a Trois"

    Threes, Menage a Trois (1967) is a Nick Phillips nudie film, shot in 1967 in San Francisco. To find a lot of his titles, you will have to combine the IMDb listings for Nick Millard and Steve Millard, two of the dozens of names he has used. During this era, nudie films could be exhibited in many major cities in the US with relative impunity, but it was illegal to make them, and doing so could get you arrested in most places in the US. The exception was San Francisco, where he made many of his films. He also filmed in Germany. This was like most of his films. It was shot in B & W with a minimal plot designed to bridge the gaps between nude scenes, narration, rather than dialogue, and a score laid down by one of many inexpensive local jazz trios. Jazz trios were cheap, you could always find one that wanted the work, and Nick liked jazz.

    This one includes the French phrase Menage a Trois in the title because French and Italian films were good box office with the art house crowd. IMDb simple lists it simply as Threes. Jane Lako stars. As it opens, she is walking along a beach, trying to come to grips with the fact that her husband is dead. She explains their open marriage, her student lover, a porn loop she watched that showed three women, a stripper her husband watched, and finally how he died.

    She and four unknowns all show everything, but the most explicit frame (unknown26) was in the trailer, but not the film. IMDb is awaiting 5 votes. These are, frankly, boring as hell, but have a certain historical importance, and I have a personal connection. I was in San Francisco during this time on a Navy ship, and watched some of these films in North Beach. One of my buddies advocated supporting them, even though they admittedly were not at all good. His reasoning? If they make money, more people will make them, and they will improve. The transfer is amazingly good for a film this obscure and this old. If the genre is mid 60s nudie films, this is a C+. The photography is better than most, and it has more than the usual amount of nudity, including full frontal. Of course, judged against real movies, it is a zero star effort. A have to applaud Guilty Pleasures for preserving these on DVD. Not only are they an important chapter of sex in the cinema, but I enjoy the looks at 1960s San Francisco.

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  • Jane Lake (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Eating Raoul

    The late Paul Bartel is one of the seminal figures in the development of independent cinema. He got his start as a second unit director with Roger Corman, and did well enough that he eventually kinda became Corman's designated go-to guy for comedy, directing Death Race 2000, and then serving as both writer and director in Cannonball, another cross-country race movie. (In case you were wondering, it was made five years before the high budget Burt Reynolds version, Cannonball Run, which was directed by Hal Needham.

    Even after two successful projects, Bartel could not convince Corman to finance his pet project, a black comedy he had written, called "Eating Raoul". He was finally able to make the movie after his parents sold their home and gave him the profits! He shot the film in 22 days of filming, but it took him almost a year, because he only shot on weekend days when his eclectic cast was available. (The supporting cast  seems like a 1970s or 80s repertory comedy troupe: Edie McClurg, Buck Henry, Hamilton Camp, Garry Goodrow and Ed Begley Jr.)

    Bartel and his frequent comedy partner, Mary Woronov, play a conservative, down-to-earth married couple who sleep in matching jammies in their twin beds. Stuck in dead end jobs, they daydream about opening their own gourmet restaurant, but don't have the money for a down payment. They accidentally stumble upon a way to get their money when a swinger makes an insistent pass at Mary, requiring Paul to hit the guy over the head with a skillet. Their shame over having killed the guy doesn't last long, since they considered him a sexual deviant, and more important, since they rifled through his wallet and raked in some serious moolah. They then conceive of a scheme in which they will do this to various unsuspecting swingers, two per day. Mary will place an ad in an underground newspaper, lure various johns over to their house, and kill them for the money.

    This is a light comedy. They kill all their victims casually, as if they were simply breaking eggs for breakfast.

    When their plot is uncovered by a local burglar named Raoul, it seems to them that the jig is up. In fact, the jig has never been farther down. Raoul knows several ways to make their scheme even better. They had been concentrating entirely on the wallets of their victims, but Raoul cannily realizes that the victims' expensive cars and even their bodies have far greater value than their pocket change.

    The plot thickens when Raoul decides he wants more than the money. He also wants Mary. In the last act, Paula and Mary must figure out a way to dissolve their partnership with the young burglar.

    Eating Raoul became an instant cult favorite with the arthouse set in 1982. In addition to pleasing student audiences with silly comedic riffs, it struck a chord with intellectuals, who saw in the couple a metaphor for an America which finds murder and cannibalism perfectly normal behavior, but is shocked by levels of sex and nudity which would be considered just normal in many cultures.

    Personally, I find the concept interesting, but the execution dreadful. Most of the humor either falls flat or is too broad. The funniest lines and concepts are squashed by bad timing or heavy-handed performing.

    • Mary Woronov (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Some other miscellaneous items:


    Here are some caps I made from Bertolucci's The Dreamers. I don't have the DVD. These caps are made from the DIVX clips, many of which we saw yesterday. The capture quality is not as good as usual, but the film is so gorgeous that they are still look pretty damned good.


    El Lado oscuro del corazón 2 was definitely not my kind of movie. The entire film has a metaphorical existence with no concrete counterpart, which is to say that characters don't engage in real human behavior and dialogue, but in some kind of allegorical behavior, as in a dream poem. The main character is a poet who is looking for "a woman who can fly". This, I suppose, symbolizes our quest for a woman who makes us feel like we are flying.

    I guess.

     The dialogue consists of stuff like this:

    "I'm a physicist"

    "Great, I want to know about gravity. It scares me."

    "Why are you afraid of gravity?"

    "I'm not afraid of vertical gravity, which pulls us inevitably down to earth, but horizontal gravity, which pulls us inevitably forward in time to death"

    And so forth. Swirling camera, vibrant colors, romantic music, faux-poetic dialogue. That kind of crap. This is sort of like a Spanish-language version of a Zalman King story. Imagine a long episode of Red Shoe Diaries En Español

    It was a long-awaited sequel to a 1991 Argentine movie which was an arthouse favorite. The sequel has the same director, same main character, same star. I haven't seen the much-praised original, but the sequel is seriously pretentious, and even the lush photography is ruined by excessive repetition. The good news is that there are several topless women, all quite beautiful, but all shot in exactly the same boring sex scene, (woman on bottom, man looking into her eyes, woman's breasts barely visible in dark lighting). The only one that interested me enough to capture was Ariadna Gil, a perennial Fun House favorite, and the ongoing winner of the Spanish division of the Kate Beckinsale look-alike contest.


    Some stuff from other imagers:

    1. One more of Ariadna Gil in Lado Oscuro 2. This guy did a better job than I did, for sure.
    2. Leelee Sobieski in Dangerous Liaisons. No nudity, and Leelee gained too much weight, in my opinion, but the extra pounds sure made her boobies look ginormous in that bra.
    3. Misty Rowe in "Goodbye, Norma Jean" (1, 2, 3)
    4. Serena Williams in a see-through top





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Trasgredire (2000)

    Part 2

    This is a Tinto Brass film. The expression "tinto brass" is Italian for "pretty pictures of bums and gyno close-ups". Shiloh sent in 19 clips. Here are numbers 7-13

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Tragredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)

    • Yuliya Mayarchuk in Trasgredire (.avi, .wmv)



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    As promised, here is part two of the Ghost's coverage of "Animal Instincts II" (1994). Fans of the naturally busty B-babe Shannon Whirry should be very pleased.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "The Rain People"
    Going back a few years to The Rain People. There is brief side nudity and possibly a bit more by Shirley Knight.

    • Shirley Knight (1, 2)

    K-9 was only PG rated so there is no real nudity. We find Colleen Morris and Mel Harris down to their underwear with additional pokies by Mel.

    Some of these caps from Goldmember have appeared in the FH before, especially those of Beyoncé Knowles. But there are some sexy images of Gwyneth Paltrow, Donna D'Errico, Nichole Hiltz, Carrie Ann Inaba and Diane Mizota.

    "The Banger Sisters"
    Goldie Hawn is getting on a bit but she still looks good in The Banger Sisters. She mainly shows the benefits of a push up bra but there may be a bit of a nipple poking through when she takes a bath in the third collage.

    • Goldie Hawn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Eight Legged Freaks"
    No nudity in Eight Legged Freaks just lots of nice caps by Kari Wuhrer and Scarlett Johansson.

    "The Craft"
    It's a similar story in The Craft, but Robin Tunney, Rachel True, Neve Campbell and Fairuza Balk look good.

    "Carry On Doctor"
    Not a lot of nudity in Carry On Doctor with the most coming from Jenny White when her bath is disturbed. Copious underwear by Anita Harris and Barbara Windsor.

    The nudity in Bones comes from a topless Erin Wright. There are terrific pokies by Bianca Lawson and lovely caps of Pam Grier and an unnamed actress.

    Lacey Chabert The former "Party of Five" star showing almost a full breast (side view with basically everything but nipple), in scenes from "The Scoundrel's Wife" (2002)

    Rachel McAdams
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The Canadian actress and co-star of new movie "Mean Girls", going topless in scenes from the Italian movie "My Name Is Tanino" (2002).

    Ami Gearhart
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Topless and full frontal (links 4 and 5) in scenes from "Rampage" (2003). 'Caps by the Skin-man.