Swedish Wildcats (1972) is now billed as a Joe Sarno film, and it is part of a major effort by the Retro arm of Seduction Cinema to bring his works to DVD. They are presenting nice packages with an interview about the film with Joe and his wife, and also a featurette produced by Seduction Cinema based on the same story. It is the tale of two sisters who work for their aunt in a high class brothel. One of the two enjoys a rich fantasy life during the day, and begins a romance with a young man who claims to be a test pilot. She tells him she is a ballerina. Meanwhile, her sister meets someone, a rich architect from a good family. Both want to escape from their aunt, played by Diana Dors.
So, this is a romance, right? Not exactly. Part of it plays like a romance, and it seems very much like Sarno's usual work. However, many of the brothel scenes involve violence and S/M, which is not like Sarno at all. The interview explained. Sarno had a concept of the girl who doesn't like her real life, and lives by day in a fantasy world that ends sort of like a Cinderella story. When he shared it with producer Vernon P. Becker, Becker wanted to make the film, but with a few minor changes to make it more commercial. It was Becker who added the violence and S/M, and the Sarnos to this day are not comfortable about that content, although Joe admitted that it probably did make it more marketable. To me, it was sort of Schizophrenic.
The firsts brothel sequence has all of the women in body paint as exotic animals resulting in some great imagery. I was only able to identify breast and buns from Cia Löwgren as the daydreaming sister, and full frontal and rear from Solveig Andersson as the other sister. There are several images of unknowns who show body parts. As I have mentioned before, Sarno wanted to make erotica for US distribution, but realized that, while he could get away with releasing it in most places in the US, he could easily be arrested while making the films, so tried Sweden, and fell in love with the Swedish casts and crews.
IMDb readers have this at 4.7 based on only 16 votes. The genre is early erotica, and Sarno was a master of it. The transfer is very nice given the age, and the English wasn't dubbed, although most of the characters had accents. This is a solid genre effort, and the animal makeup is worth the price all by itself. This is a C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- There are 235 updated individual volumes in the Encyclopedia.
The Zone (1996):
The Zone is probably not a movie you want to see.
Spinning it positively, it is a modest third-tier international
actioner which belongs in the hyphen world (straight-to-vid, or
made-for-cable). It stars Robert "Captain Cable" Davi as some kind
of renegade free-lance operative who has to be coerced by an
boss into taking each new mission, presumably because of some bad will
generated by previous betrayals. The end of the movie seems to
indicate that this film may have been the pilot for an ongoing
series of films, something like a second-rate James Bond franchise. Whatever
future plans the developers once had for ace fly-boy
Rowdy Welles, they never materialized. There may have been many
reasons for that, as you'll see later in these comments, but the
major drawback to such a series can be summed up in five words:
Robert Davi as James Bond.
Rowdy Welles (Davi) has exactly the same
tempestuous love-hate relationship with his CIA boss (Ben Gazzara)
that McCloud had with J.D. Cannon. Gazzara knows that Davi is a
reckless cowboy who disregards the rules, but he gets the job done, dammit,
and he's one hell of an American. In this case, the job involves some arms dealers in the newly-emerging
country of Marvesh (played by Hungary) who are planning to deliver
nuclear bombs to terrorists. Despite the fact that Marvesh is so
corrupt that the head arms dealer (Alexander Godunov) really runs
the country, Captain Cable has to stop the plan virtually
unassisted, although he is fortunate to have an ally working
undercover as the arms dealer's girlfriend.
Everything progresses as predictably as you might
expect, but the film is not a total washout. I can tell you some
vaguely interesting things about it.
Alexander Godunov, the loose and limber classical
dancer who became a stiff actor, plays the psychotic bad guy.
Because Godunov seems like kind of a shy, handsome, quiet type, and
is not too cocky, the casting adds a little flavor to the film.
Although he was trim and athletic and not very old (46), Godunov
died mysteriously just a few weeks after this movie was lensed,
presumably as a result of a lifetime of very heavy Vodka
consumption. If you watch this film, you can not only see his last
public appearance as an actor, but you can also see the last time he
danced in public, since he cavorts around in an impressive Hungarian
(er ... Marveshian) folk dance with a gypsy entertainer. I'm not
sure how logical it is to portray a peasant arms dealer as the
possessor of this kind of dancing talent, or how sensible it is to
insert a long musical number into a violent film about terrorists,
but I guess those are the sorts of things you do when you are
producing low budget films, and one of your stars happens to have
been one of the greatest dancers in the world. Why waste it?
The Zone was actually filmed in Hungary, the first
half mostly in Budapest, the second half on a military base
somewhere out in the countryside. The interiors are actual Budapest
restaurants and shopping bazaars and the early action scenes are
actually filmed on boats cruising the Danube, on actual local
streetcars, at the Luna Park, and across a wide swath of city
streets on both sides of the river. That may be interesting to you
if you enjoy the travelogue aspect of Bondian films. I once lived in
Pest, and had a girlfriend who lived in Buda. I miss my time and my
friends in Hungary, so a lot of the film consisted of nostalgia for
There are some pretty good aviation stunts, if you
like that sort of thing. The film follows the Bond formula
slavishly, and that means there is a spectacular opening sequence in
which Davi's character shows off some some impressive aerial
There are plenty of other homages to Bond, including
a classic scene where the bad guy has Davi cornered on a bridge, and
is about to kill him, when Davi times a precipitous jump perfectly
to land on a passing boat. When the villain runs to the downriver
side of the bridge, Davi is holding a champagne bottle and hoisting
a glass upward in the direction of Mr. Baddie. Classic Bond moment,
and probably the best two minutes of the film.
So much for the interesting things. On the negative
side, you already know that the plot and characterizations consist
of film clichés. Those problems would not have been enough to cast this film
into the utter oblivion which it has achieved. The reason why you
don't see this on cable once in a while is that some of the film's
dialogue, which seemed innocuous in 1996, now seems tasteless in a
post 9-11 world. A very specific example is that Godunov is going to
supply the terrorists with "enough explosives to destroy the World
Trade Center." Oops.
If not for the unfortunate prescience of such
dialogue, you might catch The Zone on cable now and again, but now?
Well, that probably ain't gonna happen.
To tell you the truth, I don't know anything about the two females
listed below in the nudity report. I looked up Lara Harris, and she
has been in some good movies that I have seen, like The Fisher King,
Demolition Man and Cameron Crowe's Singles. I don't remember her in
any of those films. Of course, you'd have to have a helluva memory
to recall her unforgettable performance in Demolition Man as "Taco
Bell Customer", especially since that film takes place in a future
time where ALL restaurants are Taco Bell.
Oh, yeah, now I remember her. She's the one who took the medium
sauce and an extra napkin. Awesome!
Oh, well, good roles or not, she was at least in some good films in
the early 90s, but she has done almost nothing in the past five
As for Patricia Rive, she was also in Demolition Man. I guess these
two women work as a team! In Ms. Rive's case, however, that
appearance as "police officer" was the highlight of her career, and
she has not been seen on screen since her topless scene in The Zone.
As it is, you'll have a hard time finding a DVD even if
you're curious about The Zone. It was never issued on Region 1 DVD.
The link to the left leads to VHS info. It is long out-of-print, but
you can find cheap copies from sellers on Amazon's Marketplace.
As for DVD I watched a featureless Region 4 copy from
Amazon UK indicates
that they have a region-free PAL version available for six quid.
(TECHNICAL NOTE: if you live in North America, you
can play a region-free PAL DVD with no problem on your computer's
built-in DVD drive. You will not be able to play it on a stand-alone
DVD player with a North American TV. Your DVD player will have no
problem with it and will think it is doing fine, but your TV will
not render a picture unless you have adapted your system for
Based on this description, this is a C-.
To be honest, this flick is not altogether awful, but it has been
assembled completely by the numbers. Every moment of the film is
derivative of some earlier, better film. It has the usual plot, the
usual characters, the usual action scenes, and the usual dialogue,
all assembled with less than the usual amount of money.
- Lara Harris (1,
- Patricia Rive
- Bonus: Senor Skin also captured Lara in a film called Circuit
Breaker, in which she does some serious werewolf fuckin'! (1,
Cute stuffed animals perform the final scene from
Pope Benny Hex elected in a landslide.
"possibly rallying an impressive 100 out of 115 votes, Italy's La
Repubblica has reported." In the first ballot, Benny Hex got some
40 votes with the same number of ballots going to Italy's Cardinal
Carlo Maria "Vodka" Martini. When the balloting went against him,
Martini was shaken, but not stirred.
Cops Nab Woman, Say Wendy's Finger a Hoax.
They also arrested her on another charge unrelated to the Wendy's
King's Ransom - going for a perfect zero at RT.
I don't think any film has pulled it off since Benigni's
- Here is a great question for the next edition of Trivial
Who is the best-selling comedy recording artist of
Cher is the eighth best Armenian athlete of all
- A serious website with a silly title:
"The Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club."
Sure, I admit it, I joined the Benny Hex Fan Club. It's a "hell"
of a deal. The decoder ring alone was worth the price of the dues,
and as a member of the Junior Pontiffs team, I will be officially
infallible for 14 seconds on the 11th of September. The only thing
I didn't like - I decoded my first Latin message from the Vatican
TV broadcast, and the Pope said "Semper emo Ovaltinum"
- This may be fixed by the time you get there, but ...
The new Pope looks familiar. Wikipedia's picture of
Benny Hex is actually Emperor Palpatine!
Scientists find an unusually complete and
well-preserved skeleton of a fossil whale - in the Egyptian desert.
Still no sign of a Confederate ship.
Spring Break Fun on the Texas Gulf Coast
A LAP-DANCING club boss today revealed he had to
axe male stripper acts at his club because the women were too
rowdy and 'disrespectful'.
First look: Nic Cage in Ghost Rider.
He has to ride the hell cycle mighty slow in order to keep the wig
from blowing off.
- The rich are different, said F.Scott Fitzgerald. For example,
this lad's high school problems are somewhat different from the
ones I experienced.
A 17 year-old high school student faked the theft
of his BMW in order to collect insurance money to upgrade to a
Ladies, before you date that hunky guy you met last
night, read the 10 vital signs that will reveal if he's a STUD or
a DUD in bed. "The list was compiled from a
dozen different American and European studies of male sexual
behavior and was edited by Weekly World News' own crack medical
reporting team." And I think we all know the rigorous screening
required for membership in the WWN Medical Reporting Society.
The trailer for Ma Mere
- My kind of film - rated NC-17 for "strong and aberrant
sexual content," yet also pretentious and self-consciously arty.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Tarkovsky meets Ron Jeremy.
- "'Ma Mere' takes place in the Canary Islands, where the
film's family shares a home. The mother (Isabelle Huppert) and
her teenaged son Pierre (Louis Garrel), a pious Catholic back
from boarding school, discuss his father's infidelity; the next
they hear, he is dead in a car crash. Mom launches into a wild
series of parties, gradually involving her son in her drugging,
drinking and sex-fuelled nights out.
When she mysteriously goes away, her son is left in the care
of her mistress and an icy blonde sadist with whom he falls in
love. As the film evolves, we realize that this is a period of
initiation for the young man until his mother can return and
fully bring him to sexual maturity and adulthood.
The Turnpike Prank: Avoiding Tolls On The
Three supreme justices deny that the judiciary is
running amok, then they hog-tied and tattooed
Tim Russert and trashed the NBC studio.
Virgin Mary on Chicago Highway: Lynne Cheney's
Remarks to Christian Faithful Gathered at Roadside Shrine to Holy
Likeness of a Cavernous Yawning Vagina (Even
nastier than the usual article from WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Jon Stewart reports that one hundred eighty-five
percent of Americans are overweight.
Ocean's Twelve wins the weekly DVD "rental box
office" by a landslide
- . DVD rentals can't be predicted directly from the box
office. For example, Sideways and Elektra are virtually
identical performers in the rental market. They came out on DVD
the same week and have produced the same results. But Sideways
was an acclaimed film with a respectable $53m box office, and
Elektra was a $23m flop.
- Look down the list for some crazy surprises. Fligyht of the
Phoenix has been a solid rental hit with $28m - compared to a
$16m box office.
Movies for the PSP are selling well.
The Squooshy Pineapple is a site that re-captions
news photographs. Some of them are very funny.
- For those of you with too much time on your hands - try
building elaborate towers out of coins.
Whoa! A bunch of pictures of Kelly Cuoco wearing a
flimsy shirt, no bra. ("8 Simple Rules ...")
Universal's Summer movie preview!
Natalie Portman update ...
Remember the woman who claimed she found a finger
in her bowl of Wendy's chili? I reckon it was
all bullshit. She's a professional litigant anyway, and in this
case the police have hauled her away kicking and screaming. They
will provide details of the investigation and arrest at a press
First look: 'Superman Returns'
The required high school reading book that's all
wrong. James Agee died two years before his
novel, "A Death in the Family," was published in 1957. He never
lived to see the book win the Pulitzer Prize in 1958. He never
even approved its final form. Now Agee scholar Michael Lofaro says
that "A Death in the Family" was pulled together by a misguided
editor whose final version does not match Agee's intentions.
Brad Pitt and J-Lo top 'best butts' poll
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
This week's Poll...
Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...vids from 1988's "Dangerous Liaisons".
- A then 18 year old Uma Thurman looking absolutely gorgeous topless!
- Laura Benson, baring her bum.
- Valerie Gogan, toplessness in one more scene. The scene starts with brief views and lame lighting, but ends with very nice exposure.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"CQ2 (Seek You Too)" (2004) aka "Tout près du sol"
French-Canadian ahht-house movie written and directed by Carole Laure
and starring her real-life lookalike daughter Clara Furey in her nude debut.
- Clara Furey: underwear dancing, bare assed getting gangbanged, then
topless love scene.
- Danielle Hubbard: boobs and butt having sex. Check out those rockhard
- Mireille Thibault: partial boob for those who like matronly tubbies.
- lesbians: nude having sex in prison shower.
"Watermelon's Baked & Baking" (2003)
Stoner improv comedy featuring various hash brownie recipes.
I first saw Watermelon in a bit part
as a cashier in the Canadian indie Last Wedding.
Further digging reveals that she's a Vancouver area
comedian and pot activist who doesn't mind showing her cantaloupes
at the local nude beach. She has an official webpage
- Watermelon: very sexy in bustier, then topless as burlesque stripper
- Lola Lush: topless burlesque stripper with pasties.
"Wilby Wonderful" (2004)
Comedy starring Paul Gross so you know there's going to
be no female nudity. But at least he spared us by not baring
his butt this time. Stars Ellen Page best
known as the untouchable daughter of the trailer park supervisor
in the cable series Trailer Park Boys.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
I loved this movie! The filmmakers of this 2004 comedy/horror flick said they tried to make a movie that would feel like a 70's drive-in movie, although set in modern times. They succeeded admirably.
Every drive-in cliché is here, and everything about the movie is well-done cheesiness. When a fish farmer's fish start mutating beyond belief (20 eyes, for example) Dr. Barbara Michaels, openly gay biologist from the EPA, comes to town to investigate possible pollution from the town's chemical plant. She doesn't mind, because her girlfriend Trixie happens to be the bartender at the local Moose lodge.
Evil plant owner Huntley Grimes has been hounded by the EPA for 30 years, so he's having chemicals dumped in a landfill near the town's water supply (and the fish farm's lake). When Barbara shows up, he convinces brother-in-law Sheriff Buford Lawson that he's being harassed, so the Sheriff sets up surveillance on Barbara.
When Barbara sends a badly mutated tadpole for analysis, it comes back with mutant genes that are similar to, but not, human. She explains that if one of these tadpoles were to grow into a frog, it would be driven to mate with its genetic match, the closest of which would be a human female. Inevitably, she's called a wacko dyke.
Suddenly a giant man-sized frog shows up and starts raping the local young women. Since poetic justice is an absolute requirement of this genre, his first victim is the plant owner's daughter.
This is just classic drive-in stuff, a ton of fun to watch, and updated with plenty of nudity, lesbianism, etc., but still just as cheesy and funny as the original. A must see!
|Jolie showing some skin in scenes from one of her earlier and lesser known films, the off-beat Comedy(?) "Mojave Moon" (1996). In #1 she's stripped down to undies only. In #2 she's topless in a shower scene.
|One of my personal all time favorite exotic beauties gettin' nekkid in scenes from 1993's "Excessive Force". In #1 we have partial breat and thong views. In #2 we have fantastic toplessness!
|Salma in a silver bra and briefly showing a bit of breast in scenes from the indie fllm "The Velocity of Gary" (1998), starring Thomas Jane and Vincent D'Onofrio.
|Another one of my long time personal favorites (I admit it, I fell for her while watching "Seaquest"). Here is the naturally busty, blue-eyed brunette showing off her fantastic bod in scenes from "Luther the Geek" (1990). Link #5 features deleted scenes from the recently released DVD...now with rear nudity!
|Both B-legends bare some flesh for the 1992 movie "Almost Pregnant". Severance briefly bares breasts and a thong view. Roberts much more clearly gives up the goodies, including breasts, bum and a quick bit of pubes in #2.
|Vejiita 'caps of the actress and former ballet dancer baring breasts and bum in scenes from the Mexican film "La Tregua" (2003).
|Flautista 'caps of the B-movie and Skinemax regular topless (with implants) while riding a dude. Scenes from the movie "Recoil".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
PHOTOS SOON TO TALK
And Porn Will Talk Dirty! - CombiWith, a Tokyo day care company, is about
to market a "talking photo." It's a picture that contains embedded
messages of up to 12 minutes in the voice of the person in the photo.
They're activated by running a small scanner over invisible bar codes on
the photo. A spokeswoman said a typical customer might be grandparents who
live far away from their grandkids and who would be delighted to hear their
After 12 minutes of squalling, they'll be delighted they live so far
Or maybe they have a son or daughter they'd like to nag.
This is a great idea, unless the person in the photo is Fran Drescher.
Even porn photos will talk, but it'll cost you $3.99 a minute.
KFC RETURNING TO OLD NAME
Grease Is The World - Fourteen years ago, Kentucky Fried Chicken changed
its name to KFC, out of fears that health-conscious Americans associated
fried chicken with fat and grease. Now, as part of a push to revitalize
the chain, they plan to open 50 new restaurants under the original name.
They say they want to "move the brand into the future" by tying in to its
In fact, they're trying to figure out a way to work in the word "gravy."
Also, when they took the word "chicken" out of the name, people had a
hard time figuring out what it was.
Plus, they finally realized that no matter what you call it, health food
nuts don't buy fried chicken.
And in light of Wendy's problems, they wanted to be sure people knew the
"F" in KFC didn't stand for "finger."
LAWYER MOONLIGHTS AS PORN STAR
Both Lawyer And Layman - Los Angeles criminal defense attorney Ronald S.
Miller and his wife both have unusual night jobs: they're porn stars.
Miller has made over 90 films under the name "Don Hollywood." He says he
tells his clients about it, and that there's nothing more unethical about
it than being an actor or novelist or someone who sells frozen yogurt. He
said he does it because he wants to "experience everything, try everything"
and he's always "been one of those people who sees the wet paint sign and
has to go up and touch it to see if it's wet."
...And if it's not wet, then he's just not doing his job.
Wow, lawyer by day, porn star by night! He screws people around the
Being a porn star is more ethical than being a lawyer...At least the
people you're paid to screw enjoy it.
Playboy announced that they will offer Playmate photo galleries and videos specially made for the PlayStation Portable handheld video
The first video is called "Children Of The Porn"
It's great news for people who can't endure a 20-minute bus ride without porn.
Let's hope the handheld PlayStation can be held in one hand.
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