"Instinct to Kill"
Instinct to Kill (2001) seems to have had a release of some sort in the US under the title "The Perfect Husband." Policeman Tim Abell
courts and marries cheerleader Missy Crider, but life is not rosy. He is abusive, then she discovers that he is a serial killer. She manages to get her husband's partner to save her from being killed by the husband, and the husband is jailed. When the husband escapes, the real story starts. Crider is sent to Tucson to learn self-protection at the hands of an ex cop her age who quit the force when his wife died in a traffic accident.
The entire remainder of the story is predictable.
The script was clearly written expecting nudity from the female lead, as it has a shower scene and two sex scenes with her, but she has sex with her clothes on, and shower cams only show from the neck up in her shower. Tracy Ryan, who plays one of her girlfriends, shows all three Bs, when Abell seduces then kills her trying to learn where Crider is. Ryan holds what must be a record. She has appeared in 20 films according to IMDB, and has been credited as Tracy Ryan, Tracy Angeles, Tracy Voyek, Dalia Avalon, Jennifer Avalon, Allison Dark and Tracy Leah Ryan.
IMDB readers score this 3.8 of 10. The only on-line review is Dutch, and awards 2 of 5 stars. The film has nothing going for it, other than a very bad villain. Most of the fighting was badly choreographed, and the eventual outcome was telegraphed in the first few minutes. This is a D.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Deadly Species (2003)
My kinda movie!
A college professor requests a grant to search for
a lost tribe of Native Americans in the Everglades. A mysterious
philanthropist agrees to fund the expedition, but insists on going
along. Well, it turns out that the sponsor is not just a guy
interested in science. He has reason to believe that the Fountain of
Youth has been found, and he fully intends to use its waters to
become a trillionaire. His major obstacle is that the fountain is
guarded by some flesh-devouring Sasquatch creatures with long,
poisonous claws that can kill humans almost instantly.
Do you need to know any more?
Needless to say, while
they are deep in the Everglades, they find everything that has ever
been lost in Florida, and some things which were lost elsewhere but
moved to Florida to retire: the fountain of youth, Ponce de Leon,
Mercury Morris, the missing Indian tribe, Sasquatch, the Yeti,
Amelia Earhart, Dr Livingstone, several other scientists from
earlier expeditions, a Honus Wagner baseball card, Glenn Miller,
Judge Crater, the keys to a 1955 Studebaker
convertible, some golf balls that Ch-Chi lost while playing the Blue
Monster at Doral, all your missing socks, and Bobby Bonilla's home run
At one point, one of the Sasquatch dudes attacks the scientist but
does not kill him. This works the same as a non-fatal
vampire/werewolf attack, and the scientist starts to turn into a
Sasquatch. Luckily, the Fountain of Youth is also the Fountain of
Sasquatch Venom Antidote, and a quick glass of its restorative
waters, mixed with some Schweppes Bitter Lemon, leaves the professor
both fully human and curiously refreshed.
Now here's something crazy about the lost Indian
1. They have not been seen since
1850, so they've had 150 years to multiply.
They have found the Fountain of Youth, and a 300 year old Spanish
explorer is living with them, so we know that they live pretty much
3. Among them, there is a mother with
a newborn baby, so we know they are not sterile.
4. Despite all the above, the tribe only consists of
about ten people.
Look how many people are on the planet now, even
though we die! If we stayed young forever like these Indians, there
would be twice as many people. Obviously we need to go back to this
tribe and find their ancient secret of population control.
Speaking of Bobby Bonilla, the cast of this film also comes out of
- The star, Pete
Penuel, was last credited by IMDb in 1996, in the challenging role
of "man in parade". You think DeNiro had to prepare to do Jake
LaMotta? That was nothing compared to learning how to hang on to
the Underdog float while staying in step with a Sousa tune. This
guy had to practice his marching for ... well, who knows how long?
Now that I think about it, I guess his parading couldn't really
have been that good if it took him seven years to get another job.
Maybe he was out of step.
- A cast member named Britt
George has appeared in minor roles in several similar "B" projects
in the past three years. He's run the full gamut of
characterizations, playing everything from "Cop #1" in The
Falkland Man to "Policeman #2" in Quigley. He's also played "party
husband", "marine", and "delivery guy".
- Those two guys are the only
members of the cast with any other IMDB credits at all.
Based on this description, this
film is a D. It doesn't look too bad, and
the monsters are not too silly, but the premise is far-fetched
and completely uneconomical, the dialogue is probably half
improvised (but the scripted lines aren't any more original), most of
the cast members were inexperienced amateurs, and some characters
serve no purpose at all other than to get naked. Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
The girls were fairly attractive, and were shot in good light. So
it's got that goin' for it. Unga-galunga.
The Grifters (1990)
The Grifters is a fine piece of atmospheric
filmmaking, with a top-notch cast, but actually not a very tight story. You'd
think in a movie about con men, they'd have everybody conning everyone
else constantly, but the movie instead concentrated on the characters
and the effect of their insane profession on their ability to
lead a "normal" life. In a way, everyone does double-cross everyone
else, although not with gimmicky capers, but just because that's the
attendant professional hazard of the life they have chosen. They have
to trick, lie, and steal to survive. Like sharks, they normally eat other game, but they'll eat each other if it is necessary to
Annette Bening isn't too hard on the eyes. Her face was absolutely gorgeous - her smile is just
scintillating. In her own way, she has the best smile in film history
- just as great a smile as Cameron Diaz's, for example - Bening's
smile is more knowing than Cam's, more seductive, more amused with
herself. She did nude scenes here, but she actually looks better with her clothes on,
because her legs are great, and clothing hides the flaws in some of
her other bits. Maybe because of all that, they kept the nude scenes
dark, but she's so pretty and so seductive that you'll never really
see any flaws. Before I studied this movie, I wondered why this
particular woman was able to bring that ol' lecher Warren Beatty into
matrimony, but now I can understand the power of her appeal.
Huston, on the other hand, looked
too old for the role. In reality Huston and Cusack were just about the
exact age of the characters in the script (Huston was 39, like her
character, and Cusack was 24 compared to 25 for the character). The
dialogue assures us repeatedly that Huston was not supposed to look
old enough to be Cusack's mother, but the problem is that she was not
a young looking 39, and she looked plenty old enough to be his mom, so
the dialogue sounded loony in context. (Until the last minute, the
director was also considering Sissy Spacek or Cher for the role, and
Melanie Griffith was actually hired at one point.)
The film does have some flaws. For
one, some of the scams and plot details don't make sense.
- At one point, John Cusack is
fleecing some sailors into a game with loaded dice. He gets them
interested by pretending to find one of the dice on the floor. That
much is sensible, but where did he get the second die from? He
already told the sailors that the first one wasn't his, so would
they be likely to believe that he happened to find a match, or even
less likely, happened to have a matching one in his possession?
- Why in the world would Anjelica
Huston be stuffing the secret stash of money into her car in public
at the track, in full view of the clubhouse? She wouldn't. That was
a cheesy plot device to allow Annette Bening to see the cash.
- I'll be damned if I can figure
out what finally happened to the money in the car.
- More important, why did Huston
leave all the money in the car after her faked death. Since nobody
knew how much was in there, nobody would have known if she left a
fourth behind and took the rest. It just made no sense that she
abandoned 100% of the money. With the majority of that stash, she
would have had no need for Cusack's stash.
Those things aren't really
important, however. It isn't a sting movie or a caper flick. It's a
character study, and a portrayal of how the fight for survival affects
people in the criminal life. In those respects, it is a fascinating
and entertaining movie.
The Grifters was nominated for four
Oscars (including best director), but is rarely discussed among the
great films of the 90's. It's a B by our standards. The details of the
plot are not tidy, but the characterizations and atmosphere are
Oh, yeah, and Annette Bening got naked as a jaybird.
Some old, rare, Marilyn Monroe nudes to add to your collection. (1,
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Coup de Torchon (1981), marketed as Clean Slate, is a first-rate movie. I am willing to bet that most folk could watch it without a working knowledge of French and with subtitles turned off, and still they would find the movie interesting. Briefest of synopses: sex-murder farce set in French equatorial Africa just before the beginning of WWII. White folks behave badly, particularly one local official who kills folks for any good reason and boffs just about every woman in the area. That character and all others are played extremely well. A real winner, this one.
Two women give up the goodies. The luminous Isabelle Huppert gives a triple B performance. Would love to play connect the dots with that woman's freckles; probably has a million of them. Or maybe not because she has to be the smallest actress of modern times.. excluding maybe Linda Hunt. I figure she can't be any more than 5 feet tall and probably 90 pounds soaking wet. Anywho, six collages of the divine Isabelle: topless in 1, 4 and 6; topless and bum view in 2, topless and bush view in 5, see-thru action in 3.
- Isabelle Huppert
Second woman to strut her stuff in Coup de Torchon is Irene Skobline. Miss Skobline is terrific in the role of the local school marm, the only one of the male protagonist's women who knows about all the others. She appears topless in a shower scene as she is spied upon by the local perv (see the last collage). Irene is truly scrawny but attractive in ways that ring my chimes, at least.
Bottom line on this one: it's worth every penny you'll spend to rent it, every minute you'll spend to watch it.
- Irène Skobline
||Or Ling Bai, depending on the movie. Nice cleavage from the made for TV movie, "The Lost Empire".
||Single breast exposure in scenes from "Disturbing Behavior" (1998).
||Showing some great pokies, also in scenes from "Disturbing Behavior".
|Unknowns showing brief exposure in scenes from the Mel Gibson classic, "The Road Warrior". Link #1 has anonymous breasts. Link #2 has a back door view of the goods.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
I have an idea: let's come up with a really neat werewolf script about a werewolf searching for a "purebred female werewolf" in order to mate and make lots of babies. It'll be very different than standard werewolf stuff.
Then, let's really screw up the movie with lame acting and really bad CGI special effects.
Well, someone did that, and they called it "Darkwolf".
Even with the bad stuff, the story concept is great and there's some neat nudity throughout which makes this worth watching, if only to laugh at the bad stuff. The scene where the models dance together painted up as wolves is one of the hottest scenes I've seen in an R rated movie. If you don't agree, please check your pulse, you may well be dead. :-)
||A nice collage by ZonononZor featuring Davis' brief toplessness from "Sex and the City".
||Topless in scenes from an episode of the German series "Die Glückliche Familie"
||More from German TV, the Polish actress topless from an episode of "Lindenstraße".
|Great 'caps by Señor Skin from the UK mini-series "The Camomile Lawn" (1992). Ehle looks fantastic as she shows off her wonderful chest in almost all of these. She also shows bum in link #2 and #3, plus full frontal nudity in links 4,5 and 20.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CRAWL THROUGH A GIANT COLON!
More Popular Than The Clinton Library - Both kids and adults in Little
Rock, Arkansas, can learn all about colon cancer up close thanks to the new
"Colossal Colon." It's a 40-foot-long replica of the human colon.
Visitors can crawl through it and see the different stages of the disease
from polyps to full-blown cancer.
For people in Little Rock, it's like reliving the Clinton years.
The trip isn't all that bad, but emerging from the end is rather
If you get tired, just let the peristaltic movement sweep you along.
The giant colon ends at a gift shop that sells crap.
If it's not a hit, they'll turn it into a water park ride and call it
RICH TECHIE FUNDS SCI-FI MUSEUM
Beats The Giant Colon - Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen is giving sci-fi
buffs someplace to go besides "Star Trek" conventions: he's bankrolling the
Science Fiction Experience, the first sci-fi museum, opening in Seattle in
summer, 2004. He said it will be filled with classic sci-fi books, movie
posters and other memorabilia, including Captain Kirk's original command
chair. He expects it to draw up to 200,000 visitors a year.
After all, it's not like sci-fi fans have anyplace else to go.
He could draw 200,000 sci-fi geeks with just one good wax dummy of 7 of 9.
The most popular exhibit will be the wing of the museum devoted to all of Captain Kirk's alien girlfriends.