* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Schoolgirl Report Volume #1:


"What Parents Don't Think is Possible" (1970), originally "Schulmädchen-Report: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten" has also been known as The School Girls. It is German sexploitation that has received drive-in and cable play and spawned 11 sequels. It is now being released on Region 1 DVD. It is basically the type of mockumentary made in the 70s to add "redeeming social merit" to a bunch of naked girls.

A High School girl is caught by a teacher screwing the bus driver on a field trip. The principal calls a meeting of the parent advisory council, intending to expel her, but one of the parents is a psychologist, and explains that young women nowadays fuck. It is what they do, and is normal. To illustrate, he relates several case studies, which we, of course, see, and also interviews random girls on the street. The nudity summary will give you the idea.

  • Claudia Holl - brief breasts getting into bed and waiting for her boyfriend
  • Gitti Netzle - full frontal and rear seducing gym teacher
  • Helga Kruck - breasts seducing bus driver
  • Jutta Speidel - breasts seducing priest
  • Lisa Fitz - breasts seducing teacher
  • Marion Habert - breasts in a changing room
  • Mascha Rabben - full frontal in a montage
  • Sandra Kruger - full frontal masturbating in same room with little sister
  • Susanne Woelfel, Karin Simsel and Gundi Schwobel - Full frontal and rear seducing lifeguard

Also body parts from several unidentifiable women.

IMDb readers grade it 3.5, which probably is the proper comparison to The Godfather, but on our scale this film is clearly a C+. The genre is early European sexploitation, and this is an excellent example filled with young naked women doing sexy things to themselves and others. Like other films in the genre, the attitude is that sex is good clean fun, unlike US efforts of the time, which somehow made sex dirty and forbidden. Impulse Pictures evidently intends to release all 12 in this series. While I found the original nostalgic, I am not sure I am up for eleven more.



Claudia Holl



Gitti Netzle



Helga Kruck



Jutta Speidel



Lisa Fitz



Marion Habert



Mascha Rabben



Sandra Kruger



Susanne Woelfel, Karin Simsel and Gundi Schwobel












The Naked Mile

Last Monday they had the Boston Marathon, today we have "The Naked Mile,"  or more specifically "American Pie 5:The Naked Mile." This is a fun movie with lots of nudity and just plain sexy women.

Angel Lewis shows off the hooters.



Really nice tits from Candace Kroslak.




Cleavage from Jaclyn A. Smith, but stick around it gets better later.



Jessy Schram cute and sexy even with no nudity.



Underwear shots from Jordan Madley & Melanie Merkosky.



Michelle Cormier the boobs in bed.



Oh wait, Michelle is joined by Stephany Sexton and her tits, that's one lucky guy.



Jaclyn A. Smith, Candace Kroslak, & Angel Lewis all strip down for "The Naked Mile."





We wrap up this "Marathon" with some sexy and naked unknowns, even a dash of full frontal in a couple.









Andreas Baader (Frank Giering) starts out as no more than a small-time thug with ambition. He plans to overthrow the state by setting fire to department stores and stealing cars. After several visits to the slammer, he decides to go underground and form a terror gang with his loyal girlfriend Meinhof (Laura Maori Tonke). Their ultimate agenda is to create as much chaos as possible and let the world know that they are against the Vietnam war and for power to the people.


Laura Maori Tonke


Bettina Hoppe


Sarah Riedel







Notes and collages

H.O.T.S., Part 1

Angela Aames, from the very top of the alphabet

Angela Aames








Live Feed

Live Feed, 2006, is a poor man's Hostel or Turistas. Very poor. Poor script, poor production, poor photography, poor acting, just generally not very good at anything. Like the other two films, it starts as another "American tourists in trouble" film, and descends to a splatter flick.

A group of American tourists in Hong Kong accidentally offend a Japanese Triad chief at a local night club, so he sets them up by luring them into a porn theatre, then has them tortured and killed one by one.

The gore is over the top, although it's so badly photographed you'll have trouble seeing it all. There's also some fairly lame fight sequences, and the Womb Service collage is from a short (not really porn, or even soft-porn, mostly just nudity) that they did to pull out very brief clips to show on the screen of the porn theatre. It's included on the DVD, and although it's pretty bad, the quality of the photography is actually better than the main film!

Gore/torture fans might like this one; for the rest I recommend a pass.

Ashley Schappert Caroline Chojnacki Charlene McCulloch Linda Stang and Janna Jolynn






"Robson Arms"

Season one DVD set of a sleeper Canadian comedy about an ensemble cast of tenants living in an apartment building that's falling apart.

Leah Cairns is topless
Gabrielle Miller has some fully clothed sex
Alisen Down has a massage and some fully clothed sex
Jane McGregor shows some nice pokies and upskirt
Megan Follows is shown in bra and panties
Costume designer Allisa Swanson shows some cleavage






A film clip: part 5 of the extensive Bo Derek nudity in Tarzan the Ape Man. This time Bo and the Tarmeister mosey down to the ol' waterin' hole to scrub off the whitewash and hang out with some other primates. While the chimp and the orang were not quite as good as Richard Harris in the acting department, they were quite a bit better than Bo.
Asia Argento shoots a beaver in Scarlet Diva.

She is one weird chick. Check out this pic. I think she uses the same hair stylist as Sanjaya. Or maybe the one from Vanilla Ice.

By the way, Miles O'Keeffe (Tarzan) is still acting now and then. He's 53 this year, and you'd never recognize him, although he looks pretty good for his age. IMDb page

Suzannah York in The Silent Partner.