Lagrimas Negras (1998), or Black Tears, is a Spanish romantic tragedy staring Ariadna Gil, who was cast against type, and gave a stellar performance. As a matter of fact, she was nominated for best actress Goya. Fele Martinez is living a nice life. He has a nice apartment, a nice fiancee (Elena Anya), and a nice job editing film and doing photography, which is exactly what he wants to be doing. After dropping his girlfriend one night, he is kidnapped at gunpoint by Ariadna Gil, and her heroin addict girlfriend, Ana Risueño. Before they steal his car, they tie him up, and Gil has sex with him.
A few weeks later, his car turns up. One of the tires is flat, but nothing, including his camera, is missing. When he spots Gil in a video he is editing for a shrink, he learns that she is rich, but disturbed, and sets out to meet her. This leads inevitably to a sexual relationship. The question is, will this woman with a degenerative mental disorder be his ruin, or will he be her salvation? The more he learns about her sordid past, and the prognosis for her mental condition, the more determined he is to save her.
Gil, who usually plays hip, attractive, witty leading ladies was absolutely brilliant as the deranged, often unkempt woman. Risueño was also very strong in her role, and Anya was more than believable. Gil shows breasts in two scenes, and Anya shows breasts and buns in a sex scene.
IMDb readers have this at 7.6 of 10, with nearly equal marks from male and female, and young and old. Rocardo Franco, who co-wrote, and started the directing died before filming was completed. They continued with Fernando Bauluz in the director's chair, but stayed true to Franco's vision. The cinematography was wonderful, with some breathtaking shots of the Portuguese coast, and interesting night shots of Madrid. In short, it is a very well made film. A tougher question is, will you enjoy it? I felt like Martinez was being stupid all along, and would have preferred a happier ending, but it did hold my attention the entire running time. This is a high C+. It was shown at one Spanish Language film festival in the US, and is only available on Region 2 PAL from Spain. If tragedy is your idea of good cinema, this is a very good one.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Dark Harvest (2003)
(Here's a requested film.)
Stop me if you've heard this one,
A bunch of city kids plan to spend a
week in an isolated, deserted farmhouse which they have never seen.
When they stop for directions, the crotchety and somewhat inbred ol'
geezer at the general store tells them to stay away from that place,
because something awful happened there years ago. They ignore the
warning, frolic around for the rest of the day, then start dying at
sunset. Some of them survive.
Oh, you've heard it?
In this version, one of the kids
inherited the farm from a father he never knew. Way back in the
thirties, his crazy ancestor had managed the farm to bumper crop
after bumper crop in the midst of drought, famine, and the closure
of everyone else's farms. He did that by killing his neighbors and
using their bodies as scarecrows. I'm not clear why this technique
worked, but it did. In the present time, the
scarecrows are still hanging around the ol' farm in convenient ghost
form, and when they find out that
our modern-day hero is a descendant of the guy who killed them, they are some
mighty angry-ass scarecrow ghost dudes.
The film has many negatives.
(1) The acting is way below par. It
would be below par for a porn film. I never heard of any of these
"actors", and neither has IMDb.
(2) the special effects are about as
bad as any film not made by Ed Wood
(3) well, you've read the plot
summary, so you there's nothing original
(4) the dialogue is routine stuff "We
have to leave now". "C'mon, don't tell me you believe those old
legends". Yadda yadda.
In the midst of the bad acting,
special credit must be given to Joshua Dodrill, whose performance as
Scarecrow #2 was only exceeded by his turn as Scarecrow #3. There is
a rumor that the Oscar committee may give him two of the five "best
supporting actor" nominations, because they just can't decide which
scarecrow was better.
There are some minor positives:
(1) Some of the
photography is quite good, even though the camera movement and
editing were not especially proficient. The scenes from the 30s
actually look pretty darned good.
(2) There is a good skinny-dipping
(3) The ending credits include funny outtakes
which demonstrate the problems with no-budget filmmaking. This was
absolutely the best part of the film.
Aside from that, move along. Nothing to see here
except this nudity:
Jeanie Cheek (1,
Aimee Cox (1,
Jessica Dunphy (1,
Wild Things (1997)
JoBlo looks at Oliver Stone's new Alexander the Great movie.
Porn Industry May Face New Safety Law. No. You're thinking
that those OSHA inspectors just want to spend all day checking out
porn sets. You cynic.
The Daily Show looks at outrage in the Middle East
NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK SET IN BUSH WHITE HOUSE
‘Wizards of Mass Destruction’ Latest Tell-all Memoir.
Watch Britney Spears's controversial 'Everytime' (Suicide) Video
Maverick gazillionaire Mark Cuban writes his own blog - rips Trump
a new one
- URL says it all:
The fire in George Tenet's hair
Vida Guerra Thong Gallery
Alanis Morissette likes to walk around naked
British kids to be fed orange juice with fish oil. Thankfully,
they are British, and this will taste better than their usual
- Biggest news EVER in Norway:
26 seniors from two high schools in Norway will participate in a
porn film to finance their end of the year parties.
Heimlich saves Nicole Kidman
Monday, April 26: the Bureau of Engraving and Printing will unveil
the new-look $50
Tom Brokaw, the face of 'NBC Nightly News' since 1983, will retire
Tarantino to direct Jimmy Kimmel Live
Super Hero Hype goes nuts with new Batman news.
Complete specs - original Star Wars Trilogy DVD
abe vigoda life status -updated constantly
Eminem sux in the sax
TheDeadballEra.com - dedicated to deceased major leagers. Is
A-Rod on that site yet?
Celts add dance/cheer squad - last team in NBA to do so.
Lucid Dreaming - Frequently Asked Questions Answered by The
Funny hockey promo.
Sony develops paper DVD Maybe a professor from Sony could have
gotten Gilligan and the gang off of the island.
Pop star Christina Aguilera seems to have taken her career to the
next step by deciding to appear naked in a phone ad
Medicine perfects cosmetic 'Voice Lift' Surgery Get in line
behind Minnie Driver and Bill Shatner.
People pitch in to help porn stars in need. Sally Struthers
says that for only pennies a day, you can feed one of these poor
waifs. Except maybe for Ron Jeremy. Feeding him might cost you a
A former Nevada prostitute is suing former Motley Crue frontman
Vince Neil, the brothel and its owner.
Disgusting food from around the world.
New theory states humans evolved from pigs, not monkeys. That
does explain Roseanne Barr.
Weekly World News Editorial: "I'm madder than Adam with a one-inch
fig leaf at how these left-wing heathens, atheists and agnostics
are trying to stuff this evolution baloney down our kids'
The Sun catches curvy Kelly Brook on the beach in a tiny bikini
The Best Things in Life are Free - Free Ice Cream tomorrow at Ben
Was Hitler in the closet?: "'The Hidden Fuhrer: Debating the
Enigma of Hitler's Sexuality.' " Tonight on Cinemax, seven
Colin Powell: "We were instructed to talk to Woodward".
Advanced foreign policy analysis from the Jackson family.
Jermaine weighs in on US-Islamic relations. Next up: Tito joins
Michael Kinsley and Bill Kristol for a debate about the Uruguay
round of the General Agreements on Tariffs and Trade.
Maradona filled with more coke than an Atlanta 7-Eleven.
Babies may die after being fed the 'traditional African way',
which occurs, of course, when they feed the baby to a pack of
starving hyenas. The amazing thing is the use of the word "may".
Sometimes the kids tough it out.
Kate Beckinsale Promises Van Helsing Is Titillating "Although
the Hugh Jackman thriller features Dracula, the Wolfman and
Frankenstein, Beckinsale tells 'GQ' magazine she '...doesn't think
you'll ever see more boobs in a movie.'"
- Hello, Dalai.
It's Goldie and Dalai - together at last. Rumor is he hit on
her. Big hitter, the Lama.
- Five years ago he was the league
MVP and the superbowl MVP. Three years ago he was again the league
MVP and almost broke the single season record for passing yardage.
Today the Rams told Kurt Warner he will be cut.
John Kerry refuses to release more military records. Turns out
he got the Purple Heart for getting a sour milkshake at the
officer's malt shop.
William Hung: Racism, Or Magic?
The Stepford Wives poster
This week's DVD releases
Media Groups Ask F.C.C. to Reconsider NBC's "Bono Ruling". Or,
as Bono replied, "fook 'em"
Der Spiegel covers Spring Break in America 2003. Mit den
The great Manhattan hamburger hunt.
- Interesting blog:
Meeting Quentin Tarantino at the mall.
Michael Winslow's NOW HEAR THIS! This is the site of that guy
in Police Academy who does the mouth noises.
- This could be the beginning of
some serious shit.
Broadcasting & Cable - FCC Gets S-Word Complaint Or the END of
some serious shit.
'Net ninjas' take on web censorship. Gotta root for these
folks. Their goal is to prevent a government or governments from
taking over the people's technology, so that certain foreign
governments can't block the freedom of their people to access the
internet, and so that the web doesn't become another radio, where
people may only say what the FCC allows them to say.
Dr. Seuss Went to War. A catalog of political cartoons by Dr
The latest Woodward excerpt: Cheney Was Unwavering in Desire to Go
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Beatles-related biopic about Lennon's mate, Stu
Sutcliffe, who dropped out of the group to study art, and died while
still a 21 year old student, before he could ever do anything
significant. Kinda cool movie if you are interested in The Beatles,
but just routine if not. Sheryl Lee's nude scenes are delightful in
Sheryl Lee in Backbeat.
Sheryl Lee in Backbeat.
Wings of the Dove 1997
Helena Bonham Carter. Total chick-flick which may
put many to sleep before the last reel. That's a shame, because
Helena gets VERY naked in the last few minutes. By the way, it is a
decent chick-flick. Beautiful period settings and costumes, fairly
interesting story, magnificent photography of Venice. The DVD
quality is gorgeous! Unfortunately, these clips appear to be from
VHS. (.avi, .wmv)
Helena Bonham Carter in The Wings of the Dove
Helena Bonham Carter in The Wings of the Dove
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Call Girl (1995) used to be entitled "Nighttime Lover"
back in the olden days, when videotapes ruled the
earth. With the change in title any and all forms of
subtlety leave this movie. For you see, this is a
movie about an artist... a female photographer of
erotic images... who struggles to make ends meet and
takes up high-priced hooking because, after all,
prostitution is just another lifestyle choice, like
driving a Lexus or owning a Siamese cat.
Her visits to forbidden places of the night bring out
the kinky in our artist, making her photographs edgier
and oh so arty. Art with a capital F, that is.
Everything about this movie fails. What is supposed
to be erotic is boring, what is meant to be disturbing
is laughable. None of the male characters is the
least bit interesting, for the most part because the
guys what play them can't act a lick. And who in hell
wrote the dialogue? An 8-yr-old can do better... an
eight-yr old border collie? But them dogs is really
Women do get naked. Melanie Hall, aka Meilani Paul,
who IMDb says was one of the back-up singers in the
Ray Charles Pepsi commercials, is the
artist-turned-hooker. She shows boobs and bum, in a
scene shot with a camera strapped to Katherine
- Melanie Hall, aka Meilani Paul
Two of her models romp around a lot. They are played
by veteran B-movie babe, Jennifer Leigh Burton, and
former Heffer, Pia Reyes (Miss Nov 1988). Both are
fleetingly fully frontal. Pia is something of an
enigma. She was in 8 movies from 1993-1996 and gave
up some goodies in most of them, but she is one of the
least known former Heffers of the past two decades. I
think she was a real cutie and so I grabbed just about
every frame of Pia's performance. The collages show
her in a playful photoshoot (collages 1-4), the
black-and-white products of that shoot (5 & 6) and
finally in a kinkier shoot later in the movie (#7).
- Pia Reyes
- Jennifer Leigh Burton
JJ Mantia is another veteran of B movies who does an
almost triple-B performance. JJ plays a woman chosen
to engage in copulatory acts as her husand watches
behind a window. Yep, that's what the screenwriter
decided was so very forbidden.
Dominique Simone and Jenna Lynn Minardi play
streetwalkers hired to pose for photographs when Pia
can't stop laughing over what Melanie wants her to do.
Shari Eckert has the oddest scene, as a woman tied up
and hooded, apparently frightened as a man undresses
her and gropes her. I think you are supposed to be
disturbed by it all, but it was so damn silly I took
Pia's cue and laughed my way through it.
And then there three attractive unknowns who fill out
the roster in one of the forbidden hideaways where
only the rich and perverted hang out. The poor and
perverted hang out on the internet.
So, yep, sure, uh-huh there are a bunch (a pod, a
herd, a covey) of nekkid babes but yumpin yiminee the
tedium you must endure to see them is near-bout
unbearable. IMDb scores this one a 3.2. I think
someone misplaced a decimal point.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
In May of 1998, my first collage was of this 1996 comedy/drama. The collage was gawdawful I still have it on my site just to laugh at it. It was really bad. When the unrated DVD came out, I got it right away with the intent of doing a new version, but it got buried in the stack until now. Hopefully, this version is an improvement. :-)
An FBI secretary loses her job because her estranged husband is a crook, then loses custody of her daughter to the no-good husband because she is out of work. She gets a job as a stripper to try and win her daughter back then gets involved with a slimy politician who promises to help with the daughter.
The story is campy and often lame, but despite being just a mediocre movie, it was very successful because of a sometimes naked Demi Moore. The movie, if you are one of the three people in the world who haven't seen it, is worth watching because of Demi, but probably not for any other reason. In addition, the Unrated version does have some nice additional nudity.
First up from the Ghost...
Aussie actress and "Alias" co-star Melissa George showing off some lovely toplessness and rear nudity in scenes from the underrated sci-fi movie "Dark City".
Next up, from the so-bad it's good horror/creature flick "Python" (2000), LoriDawn Messuri is topless in a lesbian love scene.
|DeadLamb 'caps from Monday night's episode of Las Vegas. Cox shows off her always impressive cleavage, and Marcil is seen stuffing hot dogs in her mouth
|The "Titanic" star bares goes topless, full frontal and bares her bum in scenes from "Iris" (2001).
|From the Skin-man...rare topless 'caps of the UK actress in scenes from the 1971 movie "Secrets". Crimson Ghost sent in some .wmv video clips that go nicely with these 'caps. Bisset fans should check the archives for the February 22 update.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
VIDEO PRODUCER SUES RAPE ACCUSER
Mr. Wonderful - "Girls Gone Wild" video mogul Joseph Francis filed a
defamation lawsuit against the Texas woman who accused him of rape.
Francis claims they had consensual sex, he even had lunch with her and her
friend the next day, and he won't "sit back and be called a rapist." He is
suing for $25,000,036. That's $25 million for defamation of character and
$36 for the cheeseburgers the two women ordered from Room Service for
$36 for two cheeseburgers? He should be suing the hotel!
They saw that Room Service menu and just WENT WILD!
So he claims it was consensual sex when the woman slept with him BEFORE
she got dinner, then she had to pay for it herself?!
COURTNEY LOVE'S EVIL DOGWALKER
The "Fiduciary Institution" Is Her Dealer - Courtney Love told Blender
magazine that her financial problems are due to people close to her ripping
her off. She said a "fiduciary institution" she was in business with stole
$40 million, she only recently found out that her dog walker was making
$100,000 a year, and that someone charged a BMW to her credit card.
Oops! That was her...
Turns out she hired the dogwalker while she was on heroin.
The dogwalker is paid so much because Courtney has spent $7 million
She was paid so much because it was also her job to walk Courtney
SPACEY RETRACTS MUGGING CLAIM
Really Spacey - It was reported that Kevin Spacey was mugged in a London
park Saturday morning, but he later admitted he'd made an incorrect police
report. He was walking his dog when a young man with a sob story asked to
use his cell phone. Spacey said he even dialed the number before handing
it to the kid, who took off running. Spacey gave chase, but tripped over
his dog and hit his head. He apologized for claiming he'd been mugged, but
he was too embarrassed, especially since he'd played con men in the movies.
He said he knows people will ask what he was doing in the park at 4:30
a.m., but "my doggy had to go!"
Okay, that's a lie, too...HE had to go.
And he likes to walk his dog at 4:30 a.m. because it's a great way to
Spacey would like to find that kid because he's an AMAZING actor!
NAKED FEMALE CELEBRITY NEWS ROUND-UP
Okay, Then Lose The Shirt - Angelina Jolie has some good news for male
fans: she plans to keep stripping on screen until she's 40. Britain's
Daily Star quoted her as saying that she wouldn't mind doing it when she's
over 40, but by then, her adopted son will be a teenager and might be
uncomfortable with it. Jolie said she's not "overly shy" about nudity, and
"I reveal more of myself when I'm extremely open emotionally than when I've
got my shirt off."
She could be the greatest Barbara Walters interviewee ever.
By the time she's 35, the studio will already be insisting on a
20-year-old body double.
She would keep doing nudity over 40, but she doesn't want her son to
think she's weird.
Nice View! - Duran Duran fans got a treat at their concert last week in
Wembley, England, when they played the never-before-released video for
1984's "A View To A Kill" and it turned out to feature a then-unknown Liz
Hurley frolicking naked in only stockings and garters. An insider said Liz
was desperate for any publicity then, and he doubts she would do that now.
Unless, of course, she was paid a lot more.
On the other hand, any actress who's pushing 40 is desperate for
Liz had quite a set of Duran Durans.
Tale Of The Tape - WENN Entertainment News claims that Paris Hilton was
furious she was voted only #38 on FHM's list of the 100 Sexiest Women, and
is trying to think of ways to appear sexier.
She could eat a pizza once in awhile.
She could try doing porn...Oh wait: she already has.
I hate to see someone with her talent trying to get noticed just for
"APPRENTICE" JUST A FIGUREHEAD
Good News For The Tenants! - The New York Daily News reports that
"Apprentice" winner Bill Rancic will have no real authority in his new
high-paying job. The Chicago skyscraper he's "overseeing" will actually be
built by experienced construction experts answering to Donald Trump.
So he'll be more like Trump's son.
In other words, Trump couldn't find one person in the whole bunch with
enough brains to be an apprentice.
"50 WORST SONGS EVER" OR "WHO LEFT THE DOGS OUT?"
Their Brain's In A Blender - Blender magazine listed their "50 Worst Songs
Ever." They left out songs like "The Macarena" and "Who Let The Dogs Out,"
which they say are meant to be cheesy. The list includes some classics
such as "The End" and "The Sounds of Silence," which they say is like a
parody of pretentious '60s folk rock. Counting down the top five: "Ice Ice
Baby," "Rollin'" by Limpbizkit, Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight,"
"Achy Breaky Heart," and at #1, Starship's "We Built This City," which the
editors say claims to be anti-commercial but reeks of the corporate rock
commercialism that killed rock in the '80s.
How do you get to be the editor of a music magazine when you've
obviously never heard "Watchin' Scotty Grow," "You're Havin' My Baby" or
"Seasons in the Sun"?
"The Macarena" was meant to be cheesy...That's why it was the perfect
theme song for Al Gore.