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"Cadillac Man"

Cadillac Man (1990) is a Robin Williams comedy, which might be all some of you will need to know to make a rent or ignore decision. In this one. he lives for two things -- selling cars, and chasing women. He has an ex wife and daughter, lots of debt, two girlfriends, and is suddenly in danger of losing his job if he can't sell 12 cars in one day. Girlfriend one, Fran Drescher, shows a breast at the beginning of the film while Williams is munching her box under the covers. She is married. Girlfriend number two, Lori Petty, is scene in skimpy lingerie, and with a great pokie. The film really gets going when the jealous husband of Annabella Sciorra, who is doing the owner of the car dealership, takes over the showroom with an automatic weapon and takes everyone hostage. Played by Tim Robbins, this jealous husband was much more entertaining than Williams. The rest of the film is Williams talking Robbins into giving up.

IMDB readers say 5.2 out of 10. Ebert awards 2 stars. Ebert's favorite scene was the same as mine. Here is his description:

"One footnote: Two scenes in the movie feature Lauren Tom as the waitress at the nearby Chinese restaurant. You've met waitresses like this before; small women who take a delight in talking back to their clients and banging them on the head with the menu when they order the wrong thing. Miss Tom steals both scenes with a performance that's funnier than anything else in the movie. Sometimes TV sitcoms are spun out of characters like hers, and I'd love to see them try one this time."

This is one of those comedies that will make you laugh if you are already in the mood to laugh, but is not enough to turn a bad mood around. C.

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  • Fran Drescher (1, 2, 3)
  • Lori Petty (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Scorpion (1998) is a Japanese WIP film that translates the genre to Japan, while preserving its essential elements, and tossing in a homage to Cool Hand Luke with a weak hero battling forever in a cat fight against the meanest prisoner. Chiharu Komatsu was a doctor, and runs into an accident victim who was responsible for kidnapping her sister 15 years before. When she revenges her sister's death by killing him, she learns that the sister was actually killed by his accomplice (I suspect this is the basis for the sequel), and is sent to prison for 10 years. We have the evil lesbian warden, the innocent prisoner who was framed by the governor, cat fights, strip searches, and our personal favorite, the shower scene, but this time translated into hotsy-hotsy baths.

    All in all, it is a worthy addition to the genre, and, as an added bit of flavor, Japanese women in heat, while just as depraved as any, are always very polite to each other, even when beating each other to a bloody pulp. Near the end, the film did lose credibility in one scene. The doctors best friend is hung. She cuts her down, then revives her with CPR and electric shock. I am not a doctor, but I didn't know CPR fixed severed spinal columns. This is a solid genre effort, and it is interesting to see the genre in a Japanese setting. C.

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  • Chiharu Komatsu (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The MPAA:

    Are these people knotheads, or what? Did you read Roger Ebert's review of the re-release of Amadeus (link in yesterday's Fun House)? Bottom line is this: because Constanze shows Salieri her breasts in the additional footage, the MPAA has assigned Amadeus an R rating.

    Good call, eh?

    Man, we gotta keep our high school kids from seeing Amadeus.

    This reminds me of my high school days. I once had a long talk with our high school's principal, at his behest. The reason for my summons to his austere and august presence was that I was publishing an underground newspaper which was not approved by the school. It was essentially the same kind of crap that I write now in my movie reviews - no titties, just satirical articles about arts, politics, our school, and our official school newspaper. Several other guys also wrote articles, so it was quite a big production. I typed it all, laid it out with scissors and paste, and produced all the copies at my own expense. It became quite the rage. They actually had several issues on display at my 25th reunion, although I hadn't seen them in all that time.

    Anyway, the principal said to me, "This has to stop", and when I asked why, he responded, "Because it's OK for seniors, but we have impressionable freshmen and sophomores who will see this, and it will cause them to think."

    I responded ironically, but with a sincere tone. "Wow, you're right. I wouldn't want that to happen"

    If he had a quicker mind, he would have realized I was dumping on him and kicked my ass around the room, but he wasn't the quickest car in the race, so the meeting ended amicably, with him happy that I was giving it up. (Which I did, because I was a chickenshit.)

    That guy is probably working for the MPAA now, making sure that our kids don't see Amadeus, because it might cause them to think.

    Luckily there was no such thought risk with the sleazy, brainless Original Sin, which was rated PG-13 in the theatrical version.


    Connelly's Disease:

    You've probably noticed that our princess, Jennifer Connelly, doesn't have much left in the way of hooters lately. I regret to report to Brainscan and others that the once-ripe Kathleen Kinmont has followed the same path. Connelly just lost a bunch of weight, and doesn't really look so healthy, but Kinmont did it all on purpose as part of some kind of a body fat reduction regimen. She looks good, although I think she overdid it. She has muscles and veins popping out everywhere and, unlike Connelly, she's obviously completely fit. But the chest is almost gone.

  • Here she is in Bare Witness.  (Dressed)




    The spate of new DVD stuff is finally gone from my in-basket, so I'm back working on the encyclopedia. Today we have new volumes for Jodie Foster, Valeria Golino and Meg Ryan.



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

  • Oz
    "The Girl Next Door"
    The anorexic-looking Polly Shannon stars in The Girl Next Door. There are some nice pokies and a brief topless view, with her rib cage showing through the skin.
    • Polly Shannon (1, 2)

    "Mad about Mambo"
    Keri Russell plays a rich Protestant girl being pursued by a poor catholic boy in Mad about Mambo. She gets topless but is facing away from the camera. We have to be content with the sight of her swimming in her underwear and a sort-of upskirt.

    • Keri Russell (1, 2, 3, 4)

    We see the very well-endowed Isabelle Menke topless in this art-house movie.

    • Isabelle Menke (1, 2, 3)

    "What planet are you from?"
    Some of these caps from the enjoyable What planet are you from? have appeared before, although there are some extra sexy views of Linda Fiorentino. Most of nudity comes from Judy Greer who shows breasts and a hint of pubes. There are also topless views of Anastasia Sakelaris and an unnamed pole dancer. Annette Bening has her clothes off but nothing is visible.

    "My Mother Frank"
    My Mother Frank is the story of a woman who goes back to university to study. Most of the nudity comes from the dreams of her son. No actual boobs visible, just side views of some hula dancers and Rose Byrne. Zoe Ella just looks nice.

    "Tales form the Darkside - The Movie"
    Rae Dawn Chong shows her boobs in "Tales form the Darkside - The Movie", a horror anthology based on the 80's TV series.

    "The Best Man"
    No overt nudity in the forgettable The Best Man. The best you get is some very nice butt cracks by some strippers Liris Crosse, Lady Madonna and Regina Hall. Sanaa Latham shows some breast but the nipple is taped (see bottom right of the collage). There are also some nice collages of Nia Long and Monica Calhoun.

    "Real Men"
    You see Suzee Slater's sole contribution to the very off-beat comedy Real Men. Just some brief views of her left breast. I have added in some views of an aging Dyanne Thorne. She was one of the stars naked in the Ilsa series of films made in the 70s. There is also a collage of a dominatrix who I could not identify.

    I gather the shag was a dance craze in the States. In Australia it means something completely different and it makes the conversations in the movie sound very funny. No nudity, we just have Bridget Fonda, Poebe Cates and Page Hannah in their underwear.

    "Green Desert"
    Some cleavage of Martina Gedeck in Green Desert aka Grüne Wüste.

    "Kiss Me Goodbye"
    Some minor pokies of Sally Field in this one.

    "Mating Game"
    Mating Game is a Greek film based on the sexual adventures of three sisters. The nudity comes from Natalia Stylianou, who also finds another use for a hair brush. Also, some nice caps of Natalia Dragoumi.

    "Blood Surf"
    Some caps from the inane horror film, Blood Surf, have appeared before. It's the story of a giant renegade crocodile. The nudity comes from Taryn Reif and Maureen Larrazabal. There are some pokies by Kate Fischer, who hasn't really done much since Sirens - probably because she can't act.

    • Kate Fischer (1, 2)
    • Maureen Larrazabal (1, 2, 3)
    • Taryn Reif (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Alice Evans

    Anastasia Hille

    Liza Walker

    Claire Skinner
    (1, 2)

    A nice assortment of toplessness in scenes from "Mauvaise passe" aka "The Escort" aka "The Wrong Blonde" (1999).

    Mimi Rogers
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Excellent 'caps of Mimi's massive mammaries (as well as her bum) in scenes from "Full Body Massage"!

    Patricia Arquette Brand new breast and bush exposure in scenes from "Human Nature"! This was just released (limited) in theaters last Friday!

    Holly Valance
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Very sexy bikini scans of the Aussie actress from the June 02 issue of FHM.

    Claire Hackett Full frontal nudity in scenes from "Liam".

    Joely Richardson
    (1, 2)

    Joely looks great showing a bit of nipple and a lovely side bum view in scenes from "Maybe Baby" (2000).

    Celeb News
    • A Halle Berry news item from the news institution whose name is synonymous with journalistic integrity, as well as bonus buy coupons... Star Magazine.