"Psychos In Love"

Psychos In Love (1987) is bad movie heaven. A strip club owner and a manicurist meet and fall in love. The film explores their tender romance. They are united by a passionate hatred of grapes and grape products, and the fact that they are both practicing psychopathic serial killers. He kills women if they like grapes, then cuts them up in little pieces and plays with the pieces, she kills men who like grapes or talk about the weather, then dumps their bodies on the New Jersey turnpike. Both have been at it since High School. After they settle in together, they find some of the joy gone from their slashings, and she is somewhat jealous of the fact that he ogles the exposed tits of most of his victims. There is something of a problem when another serial killer, a cannibal plumber, discovers their secret and wants them to continue killing and give him the body parts. In case you have some trouble following this minimalist plot, there is a catchy theme song that is an excellent plot review. We have breasts from Angela Nicholas, Cecelia Wilde, LeeAnne Baker, Patti Chambers, Ruth Collins, Shawn Light and Tressa Zannino, and Linda Strouth in a see through bra, all as victims. The further into the running time, the more the third wall is violated. Some of the dialogue is inspired and laugh out loud funny. Ufortunately, you will probably not be able to see this on DVD. I ordered a limited edition German DVD so long ago I forgot the details, and and after more than a year of delays, my copy 235 of 300 finally arrived. It was made for an estimated $75K. IMDb shows it at 5.2. However, the real average is 7.4, and all of the comments are wildly positive. The genre is cult horror spoof, and this is the Godfather of the genre. C+.

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  • Angela Nicholas (1, 2, 3)
  • Cecelia Wilde (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • LeeAnne Baker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Linda Strouth
  • Patti Chambers (1, 2)
  • Ruth Collins (1, 2, 3)
  • Shawn Light (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Tressa Zannino (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004):

    The ultimate heresy. I liked this film more than Sideways. Sideways is filled with a bunch of alkie wine-geeks talking about wine. Bobby Long is filled with a bunch of alkie book-geeks talking about literature. Since, like Dracula, I never drink ... wine, but I do read ... books, there is a lot more for me to relate to here.

    Having said that, let me add that both films are nicely photographed, and both have the exact same problem. Do you want to listen to two hours of people talking about wine and Central California? ... Sideways! Do you want to listen to two hours of people talking about literature?  ... Bobby! In each case, a yes answer will be sufficient to allow you to forgive the film's other flaws.

    Good DVD with plenty of deleted footage, "making of", and commentary



    Birth (2004):

    Tuna and I split on this one. He despised it. I won't say that I liked it because it's too slow and arty and Bergmanesque for my taste, but I found some things to like about it.

    Bare bones DVD with nothin'


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    This week's Poll...

    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Some assorted goodies from the Ghost today...

    First up, B-movie regular Bobbie Phillips baring all in scenes from "The Hustle".

    Next up, one of the Ghost's personal favorites, Ashlie Rhey. Today we see her topless and showing off a thong view in scenes from the 1993 erotic thriller, "Save Me".

    Next we have a few video clips, zipped wmvs as usual.

    • "Big" co-star Elizabeth Perkins, topless and showing just a hint of pubes in a sex scene from "I'm Losing You" (1998).

    • One more from "I'm Losing You". Here is Rosanna Arquette in black undies and baring a bit of bum.

    • Recent Best Supporting Actress nominee Virginia Madsen showing some partial breast views in scenes from "Third Degree Burn" (1989). (1, 2)

    Alexandra Finder Topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from the German movie "Eine unter Tausend" (2004).

    Florence Darel Topless and showing just a hint of pubes in scenes from the French movie "Fausto" (1993).

    Jasmin Gerat The German actress baring breasts, bum and a hint of pubes in a sex scene from "I Love You, Baby" (2000).

    Julia Dietze Another German actress going topless. This time in scenes from "Mein erster Freund, Mutter und ich" (2003).

    Keira Knightley The "Pirates of the Caribbean" star briefly going topless in a dark love scene from the UK mini-series version of "Doctor Zhivago" (2002)

    Ludivine Sagnier The gorgeous French babe baring all and making out lesbo-style in scenes from "La Petite Lili".

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    "The Woodsman"
    Well done if sometimes unpleasant 2005 drama about a pedophile who is released after 12 years in prison.

    He gets an apartment across from an elementary school (something that could not happen legally in many communities) and tries to resume a normal life, but he is shunned by friends and even family.

    He takes up with a hard-edged woman from work who is willing to overlook his past, but others, including the local police who hound him constantly, are not. When he is befriended by a young girl in a neighborhood park, he must try to come to grips with his own demons while trying to help her with her problems.

    Excellent acting and a very good storyline that is designed to neither defend pedophiles nor persecute them gives us an excellent and thought provoking movie. Very well done.

    Cameron Richardson Co-star of the recently cancelled FOX series "Point Pleasant". Here she is topless in a scene from "The Good Humor Man" (2004). Currently this is not available on DVD.

    Sienna Miller
    (1, 2)

    Thanks to The Rock for these Jumbo-ass pics of Jude Law's main squeeze and Alfie co-star. Here she gets caught nip slipping at a recent celeb event.

    Carolyn Crotty
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps Crotty topless in scenes from her one and only movie, the 2004 indie "Shiner".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Supermodel Breeding Farm - A dating website called has launched in the U.K. for people who are sick of dating people who aren't as pretty as they are. Potential members submit a photo, and members of the opposite sex vote on whether they're attractive enough to join. A spokesman said only one in 15 gets in, but they make no apologies: they exist solely so that beautiful people can meet other beautiful people; they are "exclusively for the gorgeous"; and it's an online dating site you'd actually want your friends to know you belong to.

  • That's if you HAD any friends, of course...
  • It's amazing: there are hundreds of female members, and they all look EXACTLY like an old photo of Elle MacPherson!
  • Only special people can join...People with a good plastic surgeon, or a copy of PhotoShop.
  • Unlike other dating sites, if your date doesn't look like his photo, you're allowed to kill him.

    Should've Dressed As "Star Wars" Characters - Police near San Antonio, Texas, got reports of armed militia members surrounding a tanker truck. They rushed in and arrested nine of them for obstructing a highway and two for knife possession. But they were just "Mad Max" fans on their way to a movie marathon, dressed as the characters. They'd decided to stop and surround the truck to reenact a scene from "Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior." A spokesman said their post-apocalyptic outfits were so over-the-top, he doesn't know how anyone could've thought they were a real threat.

  • At least, not until they blew up the truck.
  • With all the leather and studs, they had to be either "Mad Max" fans or a gay rock group.
  • The characters in "Road Warrior" would kill for a gallon of gas, and that's pretty realistic these days.
  • In Texas, knife possession is a misdemeanor...They should've carried guns instead.

    A special thanks to Crimson Ghost for digging up this Comedy Wire blurb about the new pope from back on May 18, 2001.

    Vatican Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger has described masturbation as very bad indeed and advised Catholics not to do it. He brushed aside the protests of Spanish reformist priest Marciano Vidal, who had conducted a lengthy, three-year study which found that no one has proved masturbation is immoral.

  • But the Cardinal couldn't read it because the pages were stuck together.
  • It was what one might call a "self-directed study"...utilizing a real "hands-on" approach.
  • It violates the 11th Commandment: "If it feels good, don't do it!"
  • They interviewed Pee Wee Herman extensively during those three years

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