"Psychos In Love"
Psychos In Love (1987) is bad movie heaven. A strip club owner and a manicurist meet and fall in love. The film explores their tender romance. They are united by a passionate hatred of grapes and grape products, and the fact that they are both practicing psychopathic serial killers. He kills women if they like grapes, then cuts them up in little pieces and plays with the pieces, she kills men who like grapes or talk about the weather, then dumps their bodies on the New Jersey turnpike. Both have been at it since High School. After they settle in together, they find some of the joy gone from their slashings, and she is somewhat jealous of the fact that he ogles the exposed tits of most of his victims. There is something of a problem when another serial killer, a cannibal plumber, discovers their secret and wants them to continue killing and give him the body parts.
In case you have some trouble following this minimalist plot, there is a catchy theme song that is an excellent plot review. We have breasts from Angela Nicholas, Cecelia Wilde, LeeAnne Baker, Patti Chambers, Ruth Collins, Shawn Light and Tressa Zannino, and Linda Strouth in a see through bra, all as victims.
The further into the running time, the more the third wall is violated. Some of the dialogue is inspired and laugh out loud funny. Ufortunately, you will probably not be able to see this on DVD. I ordered a limited edition German DVD so long ago I forgot the details, and and after more than a year of delays, my copy 235 of 300 finally arrived. It was made for an estimated $75K. IMDb shows it at 5.2. However, the real average is 7.4, and all of the comments are wildly positive. The genre is cult horror spoof, and this is the Godfather of the genre. C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004):
The ultimate heresy. I liked this film more than Sideways. Sideways
is filled with a bunch of alkie wine-geeks talking about wine. Bobby
Long is filled with a bunch of alkie book-geeks talking about
literature. Since, like Dracula, I never drink ... wine, but I do
read ... books, there is a lot more for me to relate to here.
Having said that, let me add that both films are nicely
photographed, and both have the exact same problem. Do you want to
listen to two hours of people talking about wine and Central
California? ... Sideways! Do you want to listen to two hours of
people talking about literature? ... Bobby! In each case, a
yes answer will be sufficient to allow you to forgive the film's
Good DVD with plenty of deleted footage, "making of", and commentary
Tuna and I split on this one. He despised it. I won't say that I
liked it because it's too slow and arty and Bergmanesque for my
taste, but I found some things to like about it.
Bare bones DVD with nothin'
Alert to new e-mail worm: (I've Got Your E-Mail)
- Fw: Remember Al Bundy's favorite magazine? "Big Uns" --
Naturbusen is the internet version -- bonus: all natural
- Quick, identify the speaker and the subject.
"He said in session that he does his own research on the Internet.
That is just incredibly outrageous."
A sneak peek at XXX: State of the Union (Bottom film
link on page, under "promo")
FUCK SERENITY... DALAI LAMA LOSES COOL OVER BRATTY 6-YEAR-OLD.
"When the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader went to the snack bar,
Tommy Modine followed close behind, continuously tugging at his
robe. It was then that the Dalai Lama snapped and told the boy to
"go play in traffic!"
Blogger uses Google Maps to "spy" on the mysterious, forbidden
Area 51. Sorta
Interesting Things to See on Google Satellite Maps. If
you want to find your own house, go to maps.google.com, switch the
option from "map" to "satellite" and type in your address. You can
also zoom in and out.
This day in Music :: What was the #1 song on the day you were
born?, or turned 18, or got married, or any other
damned day. Sorry, geezers, it only goes back to 1955 for Yanks
and 1952 for Brits.
RYAN SEACREST'S STAR ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME OVERSHADOWS
SELECTION OF NEW POPE. New Pope "Bummed" By Bad Timing,
The New York Times Critic's Notebook: Cannes Selection Full of
Stephen Colbert - This Week in God
Jon Stewart discusses Reich's book, 'Reason: Why Liberals Will Win
the Battle for America.'
- I don't know anything about this book. But I already like it.
Ben Affleck to become an acting teacher. I'll try to
keep an open mind about this.
- In baseball, sometimes the worst hitters made the best
hitting teachers. Charlie Lau couldn't hit shit. From 1958 to
1961, Lau hit .147, .167, .189, and .194. He was the Affleck of
hitting. But Lau was one of the greatest hitting teachers of all
time, and his star pupil, George Brett, was a batting wizard who
hit as high as .390. Even Lau himself, whose lifetime average
was .181 after the 1961 season, managed to creep up to .255 by
the time he retired, so you might say he got a .250 average out
of .180 talent.
- And the great acting teacher, Lee Strasberg, was nothing
special as an actor, from what I saw of him.
- So Affleck's acting ability doesn't necessarily predict his
ability to teach acting.
- Now that I've spouted all those measured and fair
disclaimers, let me say that I'm still a little skeptical about
Ben Affleck Acting School. Sounds to me about as promising as
Paul Giamatti's Golf Academy
Prophecies about the Last 10 Popes by Malachy.
- Ol' Malachy said this pope would be "The Glory of the
Olive". The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope
will come from their ranks because they are also know as
Olivetans. Although Cardinal Ratzinger is not a Benedictine, he
did take the name Benedict, so I'm going to have to say that
Malachy the Prophet is entitled to the highly dreaded "partial
Cardinals select Ratzinger as the new pope Pope. He will take the
name Benedict XVI.
- Given his age, the cardinals might just want to hang around
Rome and catch a few shows before the next conclave.
- The last time a German was pope, England was still in Saxon
hands and its king was Edward the Confessor! Victor II , the
pope from 1055 to 1057, came from Swabia (Schwaben), the Black
Forest region of Germany. His successor was from Lorraine, so I
guess he could be called German, sort of, but he only lasted a
year anyway, so the German popes ended either in 1057 or 1058.
Ed Helms of the Daily Show demonstrates Grand Theft Auto: Vatican
Jon Stewart reveals that the first rule of conclave is "do not
talk about conclave."
Woman Accidentally Drives Car Off Parking Garage. The
car landed on its nose, the flipped over on its roof, but she
walked away with no major injuries.
Baseball fans! The new issue of Mudville Magazine
- Weird ...
Has Johnny Gosch Been Found?
- Remember Jeff Gannon, the alleged gay escort who got
credentials for the Presidential press conferences and lobbed
softball questions to President Bush?
- In 1982, a paperboy named Johnny Gosch was kidnapped in West
Des Moines . For years, his disappearance made national
headlines. And now, 23 years later investigators are
investigating new developments in Johnny’s case. Somehow, the
trail seems to lead to ... Jeff Gannon
- This week's limited release movies:
House of D - 17% positive reviews. Some very harsh
reviews for this film, which was written and directed by David
- "A cacophony of completely false notes that end in a
- "Awkward and atrocious in equal measure."
- "The reasons to avoid House of D can best be summarized in a
simple declarative sentence. Robin Williams plays a retarded
- "It's unfortunate not so much for Duchovny as it is for the
viewer, who must endure a cloying, achingly precious coming of
- "David Duchovny’s misguided House of D is now the barometer
I use to judge how bad other films are."
Charlotte Rampling and David Thewlis have joined the cast of Basic
Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (It takes place in London
The Inflatable Granny
- I'll be honest. I don't know why this Asian site exists.
Perhaps some crazy porn thing, perhaps a medical dummy to train
nurses ... I don't know, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to
know either way because it's the element of not knowing that
makes it all so weird.
Porn Bread's time-honored recipe for Bukkake Cookies
"Five hundred supporters who identified themselves as the posse
and ho's of Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) marched on Washington today
to voice their support for the embattled House Majority Leader.
- Tom's Official Website announced that
Tom Snyder has been diagnosed with leukemia. He made
the post personally. Our best wishes go to a man whose voice
filled up a lot of our sleepless nights.
Dustin Hoffman receives gala tribute in New York
- "After hearing Mike Nichols take some digs at his nose and
Robert de Niro joke about his age, Hollywood veteran Dustin
Hoffman took to the stage of New York's Lincoln Center and spoke
about his sense of failure."
- I'd say the boy did purty damned good for a failure.
London marathon winner makes "unscheduled toilet stop at the
roadside four miles from the end - which was watched by
millions of TV viewers."
Arrest Warrant Issued for 'American Pie' Actress Natasha Lyonne.
- I don't know what that judge was thinking of. She doesn't
have to obey laws, she's a celebrity. Well, she kinda used to be
a celebrity. Maybe now that her star has dimmed, she will have
to obey a few important laws, but none of those chickenshit ones
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
This week's Poll...
Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Some assorted goodies from the Ghost today...
First up, B-movie regular Bobbie Phillips baring all in scenes from "The Hustle".
- Bobbie Phillips
- Bobbie Phillips zipped .wmvs
Next up, one of the Ghost's personal favorites, Ashlie Rhey. Today we see her topless and showing off a thong view in scenes from the 1993 erotic thriller, "Save Me".
Next we have a few video clips, zipped wmvs as usual.
- "Big" co-star Elizabeth Perkins, topless and showing just a hint of pubes in a sex scene from "I'm Losing You" (1998).
- One more from "I'm Losing You". Here is Rosanna Arquette in black undies and baring a bit of bum.
- Recent Best Supporting Actress nominee Virginia Madsen showing some partial breast views in scenes from "Third Degree Burn" (1989).
||Topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from the German movie "Eine unter Tausend" (2004).
||Topless and showing just a hint of pubes in scenes from the French movie "Fausto" (1993).
||The German actress baring breasts, bum and a hint of pubes in a sex scene from "I Love You, Baby" (2000).
||Another German actress going topless. This time in scenes from "Mein erster Freund, Mutter und ich" (2003).
||The "Pirates of the Caribbean" star briefly going topless in a dark love scene from the UK mini-series version of "Doctor Zhivago" (2002)
||The gorgeous French babe baring all and making out lesbo-style in scenes from "La Petite Lili".
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Well done if sometimes unpleasant 2005 drama about a pedophile who is released after 12 years in prison.
He gets an apartment across from an elementary school (something that could not happen legally in many communities) and tries to resume a normal life, but he is shunned by friends and even family.
He takes up with a hard-edged woman from work who is willing to overlook his past, but others, including the local police who hound him constantly, are not. When he is befriended by a young girl in a neighborhood park, he must try to come to grips with his own demons while trying to help her with her problems.
Excellent acting and a very good storyline that is designed to neither defend pedophiles nor persecute them gives us an excellent and thought provoking movie. Very well done.
||Co-star of the recently cancelled FOX series "Point Pleasant". Here she is topless in a scene from "The Good Humor Man" (2004). Currently this is not available on DVD.
|Thanks to The Rock for these Jumbo-ass pics of Jude Law's main squeeze and Alfie co-star. Here she gets caught nip slipping at a recent celeb event.
|Señor Skin 'caps Crotty topless in scenes from her one and only movie, the 2004 indie "Shiner".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DATING SITE JUST FOR GORGEOUS PEOPLE
Supermodel Breeding Farm - A dating website called BeautifulPeople.net has
launched in the U.K. for people who are sick of dating people who aren't as
pretty as they are. Potential members submit a photo, and members of the
opposite sex vote on whether they're attractive enough to join. A
spokesman said only one in 15 gets in, but they make no apologies: they
exist solely so that beautiful people can meet other beautiful people; they
are "exclusively for the gorgeous"; and it's an online dating site you'd
actually want your friends to know you belong to.
That's if you HAD any friends, of course...
It's amazing: there are hundreds of female members, and they all look
EXACTLY like an old photo of Elle MacPherson!
Only special people can join...People with a good plastic surgeon, or a
copy of PhotoShop.
Unlike other dating sites, if your date doesn't look like his photo,
you're allowed to kill him.
"MAD MAX" FANS MISTAKEN FOR SOMEONE DANGEROUS
Should've Dressed As "Star Wars" Characters - Police near San Antonio,
Texas, got reports of armed militia members surrounding a tanker truck.
They rushed in and arrested nine of them for obstructing a highway and two
for knife possession. But they were just "Mad Max" fans on their way to a
movie marathon, dressed as the characters. They'd decided to stop and
surround the truck to reenact a scene from "Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior."
A spokesman said their post-apocalyptic outfits were so over-the-top, he
doesn't know how anyone could've thought they were a real threat.
At least, not until they blew up the truck.
With all the leather and studs, they had to be either "Mad Max" fans or
a gay rock group.
The characters in "Road Warrior" would kill for a gallon of gas, and
that's pretty realistic these days.
In Texas, knife possession is a misdemeanor...They should've carried
A special thanks to Crimson Ghost for digging up this Comedy Wire blurb about the new pope from back on May 18, 2001.
VATICAN STILL BANS MASTURBATION
Vatican Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger has described masturbation as very bad indeed and advised Catholics not to do it. He brushed aside the protests of Spanish reformist priest Marciano Vidal, who had conducted a lengthy, three-year study which found that no one has proved masturbation is immoral.
But the Cardinal couldn't read it because the pages were stuck together.
It was what one might call a "self-directed study"...utilizing a real "hands-on" approach.
It violates the 11th Commandment: "If it feels good, don't do it!"
They interviewed Pee Wee Herman extensively during those three years
|A quick site note
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