Thursday

 

 

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Inconfessable Orgies of Emmanuelle

 

Las orgias inconfesables de Emmanuelle, also known as Emmanuelle Exposed, is a 1982 Spanish film from Jess Franco. He did not make it intending it to be an Emmanuelle film. In fact, the lead character was not even called Emmanuelle in the original sound track, but the producers understood that the word "Emmanuelle" at the time was a secret piece of film jargon that meant "guaranteed to make money."  The renaming of the character did make some sense. It's the story of a classy young French woman who was living in a foreign country with her husband, and wished to be sexually free. When you think about it, the original Emmanuelle film was all about an expatriate wife learning to be sexually free, so Jess actually made more of an Emmanuelle film than he thought.

Emmanuelle (Muriel Montossé) and her husband are very much in love and in lust. In the opening sequence, they make love in public in a wax museum. The problems start when they and a lesbian widow friend (Asunción Calero) go to a disco owned by the nobleman who narrates the story. Carmen Carrión is stripping on stage, and invites the audience to come fondle her. A drunken Emmanuelle takes her up on it, starting a chain of events best called musical beds among Emmanuelle, the stripper, Emmanuelle's husband, the lesbian widow and the nobleman. Even though a lesbian affair and a brutal double rape nearly split the couple up, Emmanuelle remained committed to allowing herself to take pleasure whenever and wherever she felt like it. The film is nearly non-stop nudity and simulated sex.

This is vintage softcore erotica, and would normally deserve a C, but there are several plusses elevating this release to a top-of-the-line C+. First, it has never been available in the US before. Second, it is a Jess Franco film, and Jess has a following - including me. Third, it is in the sub-genre of fake Emmanuelle sequels, another collectors niche. Finally, it has lots of lovely nudity presented in great video quality. The film is mastered from a clean vault copy, and looks very good. You have a choice of an English or Spanish sound track and optional English subtitles. There is also an interview with Jess Franco recorded for this DVD.

The film is currently unavailable, but due to be released for the first time in the US by Severin, and you can order this title from RLDVDs.com. (Click on the image below for info.)

IMDb readers say 4.6, but that is reduced using the IMDb magic recipe and based on 20 votes.

 

 

Muriel Montossé shows everything.

 

 

Carmen Carrión shows everything.

 

 

 Asunción Calero shows everything

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Dirty Mind of Young Sally

Part Two

Today we have part two of Sharon Kelly in The Dirty Mind of Young Sally. Caps and five clips of Sharon getting it on once again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Splash

Allen Bauer (Tom Hanks) is the successful manager of a fruit and vegetable market in New York City but longs to find love in his life. While boating at Cape Cod, Allan falls in the water but is saved by a beautiful mermaid (Daryl Hannah). Picking up the wallet that Allen drops, the mermaid follows him back to New York City. He is called when she is found walking naked in the streets. She learns to speak English after six hours of watching tv and names herself Madison. They fall blissfully in love, with Allen unaware of her true nature. However she is followed by an obsessed scientist who is determined to prove her existence to the world. This charming comedy was quite a success when it came out. It was the first major parts that Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah and John Candy had had and all three would immediately go onto great success as a result of the film. Splash! also announced the name of Ron Howard as director.

Daryl Hannah

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 37 of 38

Season Four, Episode 21

This is the last of the caps from the series (nothing in episode 22)

Tomorrow, Farscape wraps up with "The Peacekeeper Wars"

Gigi Edgley

Rebecca Riggs

 

 

 

 

 

 

A film clip: part 2 of the extensive Bo Derek Nudity in Tarzan the Ape Man, A classic. Bo is getting hosed down by some decidedly unfriendly locals when a certain familiar cry is heard, and the ol' vine-swinger dashes through the trees to the rescue. More cheese than a Wisconsin picnic!
From Frypan: "Anne Parillaud in Gangsters. These are caps and clips I found on Ragaroo's site. They are not my caps they are his. "

Scoop's note: Parillaud was 40-something when she made this film, and her face showed it, but her body was still like a teenager's. I mean no sag at all, and not even slight signs of aging. There's the blessing of being thin, exercising, and obviously having some freaky metabolism. 

Elli Stark in Anatomie der Daemmerung (2007) . This is a new movie, and the cap is actually from the trailer.

 

 

 

 

 


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...


Wednesday, Internal Revenue Service chief Mark Everson was chosen as the new president of the American Red Cross.  Proponents said they hope he will reform and revamp the Red Cross the
way he has the IRS.

*  He already has dozens of new ideas for how to get blood out of people.


Wednesday in Dallas, wealthy attorney Gregory Shamoun and oilman John Cantrell, who are neighbors, were in court with a donkey for a witness. Shamoun had put Buddy the donkey in his back yard as a
surrogate mother for a calf.  Cantrell complained that it was smelly and brayed loudly all night.  To disprove that, Shamoun had Buddy brought into court, where he just stared quietly at the jury.  The two
settled their dispute before the jury finished deliberations.  One juror said it should've never gotten into court.

*  The donkey was the only one in this case who DIDN'T act like an ass.

 

The CBC reports that cash-strapped Mike Tyson has signed a deal to dance in a music video promoting an Indian Bollywood movie. Tyson is desperate, and apparently, so is Bollywood.

* Mike signed two contracts: one for his left foot, and one for his
other left foot.

 

Animal lovers are protesting a plan to sedate more than 300 horses at a racecourse in Belgrade to keep them calm during an upcoming Rolling Stones concert. No need: the smoke wafting from the crowd should do that.

* No big deal: If they need 300 horse tranquilizers, Keith has them in his guitar case.