"Red Silk"

Red Silk (1999) is a Jess Franco crime comedy staring Lina Romay and Christie Levin as exotic dancers/private detectives who get envolved in far more than they bargained for including major art theft, kidnapping and blackmail. Mostly, however, they spend most of the film wearing nothing at all. Lina, who is Mrs. Jess Franco, has 115 acting credits at IMDb, and currently has one in pre-production. This was filmed not long after her successful bout with cancer, hence the short hair. Both she and Levin show full frontal and rear nudity through most of the film, which is shot in good light throughout.

The dubbed English was done by voice actors who clearly had trouble pronouncing English words, making the film a little hard to follow. I am guessing it would be even funnier in Spanish. Franco, now 74, is still going strong, and has another film in pre-production, again staring his wife. 20 IMDb readers have this at 4.9, but the only comment at IMDb loved the film. The nudity is certainly top notch, and the film doesn't even begin to take itself seriously, which is a good thing. As a Jess Franco nudie, this is a C+, as one of his more enjoyable ones.

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  • Christie Levin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
  • Lina Romay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    This week's Poll...

    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Apollonia Kotero
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    From the 80's classic, "Purple Rain"...here the actress/singer topless and in lingerie.

    Margot Kidder
    (1, 2)

    The new remake of "The Amityville Horror" debuted at #1 at the Box Office this weekend, but let's not forget the 1979 original starring Lois Lane and Mr. Barbra Streisand. In #1 Margot is doing some ballet in her undies (there is also a breast view in the mirror). In #2 we get another partial breast view.

    Linda Hamilton
    (1, 2, 3)

    Hamilton bares a breast in a couple of 80's love scenes. Links 1 and 2 are from the sci-fi classic "The Terminator". #3 features her gettin' it on with Tommy Lee Jones in scenes from "Black Moon Rising".

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    "Santa Maradona"
    Over to Italy for Santa Maradona and some slight breast exposure by Anita Caprioli.

    • Anita Caprioli (1, 2, 3)

    "28 Days Later..."
    Back to England for 28 Days Later..., based on The Day of the Triffids. No nudity but Naomie Harris and Emma Hitching are down to their underwear.

    "The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne"
    Still in England we have The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne and some brief nudity by Rudi Davies.

    • Rudi Davies (1, 2)

    "Wild Things 2"
    Wild Things 2 is very similar to Wild Things but the nudity comes from unknowns and a body double. Very sexy shots of Susan Ward, Leila Arcieri (who is topless but uses a body double) and Katie Stuart.

    "The Last Summer"
    Back to the 60s for a The Last Summer and some brief topless exposure by Barbara Hershey and Catherine Burns.

    "Vampires:Los Muerotos"
    No nudity in Vampires:Los Muerotos but some nice see-through exposure by Arly Jover.

    • Arly Jover (1, 2)

    Katherine Heigl
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Prime Time Skin story of the day....here is Heigl stripping down to her undies in scenes from Sunday night's episode of the new series "Grey's Anatomy". Hello Kitty has never been sexier! Thanks to DAI and DeadLamb.

    PenÚlope Cruz
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Paparazzi pics of the Spanish beauty caught topless at the beach.

    Scarlett Johansson
    (1, 2)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the young star posing for the "Holding Your Own Boobs Magazine". In #1 she shows off much of very large breast in a scene from "A Love Song for Bobby Long".

    Mail Bag
    Subject: Oddball request - Christine Baranski
    The quirky caper comedy "Crackers" (1984) featured a young Christine Baranski as a meter maid who moonlighted as a hooker with a vivid sexual imagination. Apparently this role included Baranski stripping down a couple of times to sexy lingerie. If anyone could get their hands on this movie and make some caps, I'd be very grateful. The challenge....it's only on VHS and is currently out of print.


    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Did She Molest Any Children? - In testimony experts say hurt Michael Jackson's prosecution, his accuser's mom spent two days on the stand sobbing, snapping her fingers, putting on a German accent, arguing with Jackson's attorney, crying "Don't judge me!" and generally appearing wildly unstable.

  • She let her kid sleep in Michael Jackson's bed! Of COURSE, she's wildly unstable!
  • Michael has done all the same things, except he can't do a German accent.

    Those Are Just The Desperate Housewives - Entertainment Weekly reports that as TV viewing and movie ticket and CD sales fall, top stars' demands for perks are skyrocketing: luxury trailers, private jets just for their luggage, $7,000-a-day stylists, $50 French candles for their dressing rooms, and $150,000 gift bags. One TV star demanded the water supply to his trailer be blessed by a shaman. But the studio did let a TV star have a tantrum rather than agree to helicopter her to work every day. EW estimates that star perks now comprise 5 percent of production costs, so when you buy a movie ticket or CD, you're paying 50 cents to a dollar for things like flying the star's dog First Class.

  • Well, at least, the dog might deserve it.
  • They should demand that the studios pay geneticists to develop flying dogs for them.
  • Michael Jackson's makeup artist gets $7,000 a day, but she earns every penny.
  • They also demand private jets to fly them to political rallies where they can speak for the common man.
  • Good thing the water supply to the trailer was blessed, because all the stockholders were peeing in it.

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