Red Silk (1999) is a Jess Franco crime comedy staring Lina Romay and Christie Levin as exotic dancers/private detectives who get envolved in far more than they bargained for including major art theft, kidnapping and blackmail. Mostly, however, they spend most of the film wearing nothing at all. Lina, who is Mrs. Jess Franco, has 115 acting credits at IMDb, and currently has one in pre-production. This was filmed not long after her successful bout with cancer, hence the short hair. Both she and Levin show full frontal and rear nudity through most of the film, which is shot in good light throughout.

The dubbed English was done by voice actors who clearly had trouble pronouncing English words, making the film a little hard to follow. I am guessing it would be even funnier in Spanish. Franco, now 74, is still going strong, and has another film in pre-production, again staring his wife. 20 IMDb readers have this at 4.9, but the only comment at IMDb loved the film. The nudity is certainly top notch, and the film doesn't even begin to take itself seriously, which is a good thing. As a Jess Franco nudie, this is a C+, as one of his more enjoyable ones.

Other Crap:

• Jodie Foster will star in a Spike Lee movie.
• The World of Napkins
• Here's that clip of Tyra Banks going on a rude and clueless rant on her supermodel search show.
• URL says it all: BobSagetIsGod.com
• Robin Williams Reacts to NBC's Mork Movie.
  • "I knew something was up when I asked [NBC] for a script," he says. "They said, 'No, we don't have that.'"
• Fametracker makes the odds on the nature of the surprise ending for the new Shyamalan movie
• 'Star Wars' novel released weeks before the movie
  • "The novelization of Revenge of the Sith, the latest Star Wars movie, is already on sale - weeks before the movie's May 19 release. Matthew Stover, author of Revenge of the Sith, said in an interview with the Associated Press that even though the novel gives away the story, he doesn't think fans will be content with just the book."
• Former PMOY Silvstedt admits to making love on a Jet Ski.
  • Or as they call it in Scandinavia, a Yet She.
  • Did the earth move for you? It moved for me. Oh, wait, that was a passing speedboat
• 'Growing Pains' father Alan Thicke is headed to the altar again, for the 11th time, of which three have been marriages, and the other eight goat sacrifices to the Dark Lord.
  • And yet Cardinal Biffi never considered the candidacy of Alan Thicke for the Antichrist job.
• President Bush Endorses Ariel Sharon's Vision for the Global Enragement of Muslamian Vermin (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
• Two trailers from Three...Extremes
  • "Exploring the outer limits of the macabre, Lions' Gate Films' 'Three...Extremes' is a bracing triptych of horror stories uniting three of East Asia's most compelling directors: Japanese cult figure Takashi Miike, Hong Kong's Fruit Chan, and Korea's award-winning Park Chan-Wook. Using distinctive cinematic styles that span dream-like minimalism, savage comedy and baroque horror, these cutting-edge directors penetrate the dark heart of desire, examining the ghastly urges that transform ordinary people into monsters. Stylish, twisted and laced with haunting imagery, 'Three...Extremes' breaks the bounds of genre cinema, confirming the visionary talent of three master directors."
• Three new clips from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
• Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith - new footage seen on German TV. Different footage because they have to spin the film in reverse for Germany, where they are rooting for the Evil Empire.
• Cardinal Who Warned of 'Antichrist' Rises in Betting Odds
  • Cardinal Biffi believes the Antichrist is alive and is a prominent philanthropist who advocates causes like human rights, the environment, pacifism, environmentalism and animal rights. Biffi added that the Antichrist is a Bible expert who discards its truths to prosletyze for "vague and fashionable spiritual values."
  • Jimmy Carter is the Antichrist? Man he sure didn't do much to capitalize on his evil power when he was President of the U.S. What bigger opportunity is he going to get?
• Discovery Channel's Top 100 Americans
  • WTF?? The list includes Christopher Reeve, Dr. Phil, Madonna, Pat Tillman and Ellen DeGeneres, but not Thomas Paine, Ernest Hemingway, Edgar Allan Poe, or (GASP!!) John Adams, or (DOUBLE GASP!!) James Madison.
• Yanks score 19. A-Rod goes 5 for 6 with four extra base hits including two dingers.
  • A-Rod and Tino knocked in six apiece. Thank God for the Devil Rays.
• Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are reportedly planning to get married in Las Vegas. A source close to the couple added: 'Members of their family have been told to assemble.'"
  • "Told to assemble?" Are they getting married while defending Rome from the Huns?
• Steve Zahn says he's the envy of every man on the planet after spending three days naked with Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. I guess I should explain that Hayek and Cruz wore all their clothing. Only Zahn was naked.
• Virgin Mary appears to Chicago commuters in the form of a salt stain. Police are currently keeping the scene free of deer.
• Sleeping Yankee bats awaken as the team scores 13 in the second inning. Of course, as I type this, their relievers are struggling to hold the lead!
• Majority Leader Tom DeLay Issues Long-Overdue Revisions to U.S. House of Representatives Official Code of Conduct (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
• The official site and trailer for Darkon, the documentary movie about those medieval war game dudes and their fantasy kingdoms.
• Schneier on Security: Hacking the Papal Election. Do they use Diebold machines?
• Payne and Oh to divorce. Payne simply felt that he needed more personal space. Especially now that he's a big deal and can have sex with much hotter chicks. (Obligatory nod to truth: It was actually Oh that filed for divorce.)
• Cyclist Lance Armstrong announces his retirement from cycling so he can run for pope.
• Ann Coulter's Beauty Secret - bathing in the blood of the innocent.
  • "The Heartland has given those of us in the upper echelons of society the go-ahead to live off the blood of our social inferiors. The way I like to think of it is: red states are red corpuscle states, brimming with life and vitality. While the blue states are blood cells depleted of oxygen, the same way the Democrat party is depleted of ideas and morality. If American values and ideals are to survive, we must confront our political opponents, rip out their throats with our sharp incisors, and feed upon the warm blood flowing from their ruptured arteries."
• Surprise of the day: Verizon CEO doesn't like the idea of free municipal wi-fi
• SI's Cousineau-free take on the top draft busts of the modern era.
  • This "bad choice" selection used a different criterion from the one below. It is based on the players' performance, not on whether the team wasted a pick. Cousineau wasn't really a bust as a player, just a wasted selection. He was drafted first overall by the Bills, but told them to shove it and played in the CFL, where he proceeded to be the Grey Cup defensive MVP in his rookie season, and the Canadian press selection as runner-up in the "outstanding defensive player" balloting in 1980
  • By the way, the Bills traded a running back to the 'Niners to get that #1 Cousineau pick and four other draft picks. Some obscure guy named Orenthal Simpson, who apparently retired to a quiet, private life away from the glare of celebrity.
  • Incidentally, the Cousineau pick didn't turn to be that big a bust for the Bills in the long run. When Cousineau left Canada to return to the NFL, the Bills still owned the right to sign him, and they traded that right to Cleveland for two draft picks, including a first rounder that they used to pick Jim Kelly.
  • Mr. Cousineau himself went on have to a respectable career with the Browns.
• Canadian cardinal creeps quietly onto list of papal possibilities, eh?
• Topless beach pictures of Penelope Cruz
• The best and worst first round NFL picks of all-time. Where have you gone, Tom Cousineau?
• 'Monday Night Football' to move to ESPN from ABC. Sunday night game moves from ESPN to NBC : "ABC's venerable 'Monday Night Football' telecast, which ushered in a new era in televised sports more than three decades ago, is moving to ESPN beginning in the 2006 season"
• Candid camera show catches a guy sniffing a bikini
• The list of items you may not take on a plane includes the children's toys called Transformers! (Because they can transform into weapons.) Also, for some unknown reason, they do not permit dynamite as a carry-on item. Go figure.
• Vote Rick James - bitch. I would have voted for him, but he was running against Pedro.
• Rumor: Vinnie Jones will play Juggernaut in X-Men 3
• Sam Mills, Panthers linebackers coach, dies: "Sam Mills, an undersized linebacker who became a Pro Bowl player with New Orleans and Carolina and was later an assistant coach for the Panthers, died Monday after fighting cancer for nearly two years, the Panthers said. He was 45."
• Weekly World News: "BUSH PUSHING TO BE NEXT POPE"
• Jack's License Plate Collection
• Jessica Simpson masters Chicken of the Sea - until she finds a can of Tuna of the Dirt
• Pics of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
• The Greatest of all Film Critics, Filthy, reviews the Amityville Horror
  • "Why the fuck can't the carpetbaggers just move in and take the good with the bad? I've never complained to our landlord about the lump in the hallway shag that weeps blood when you step on it. It's part of the charm of Casa de Filth."
  • "Ryan Reynolds, a contractor who never, ever has to interrupt his day with a job, and his wife (Melissa George) buy a massive fixer-upper lake house. They know a man murdered his family in it a year earlier. They got such a great deal, though, how could they resist? Man, I know the feeling. I once got an awesome deal on a Craftmatic adjustable bed because it had electrocuted its previous two owners. I sleep in a wetsuit and no problems."
• Borowitz: CARDINALS DEADLOCKED OVER LUNCH ORDER. "That Thai Place" Ruled Out
• A comprehensive summary of the Papal Betting Odds
• Historic Conclave Convenes to Elect a New Pope and sing rockin' Gregorian songs.
• Today in Uncle Scoopy's Guest House - Charmed's Holly Marie Combs topless in A Reason to Believe
• ESPN - 25 great hoaxes, cheats and frauds in sport
• Day 1: The Tom DeLay political deathwatch.
• Captain Electro's Guide To Evil. Quite a funny site!
• Is there still hope for Richard Gere to have a late in life career as a composer? Intelligent MIDI Sequencing with Hamster Control. Submitter wrote: "This is not a joke! Check out the music, it is quite good."
• "What was the song used in that television commercial?" Now you can find the answer at Adtunes.com - the weblog of information on music from TV ads, film trailers, and more.
• Couple bites each other's ring fingers off instead getting engagement rings! (With pictures!)
  • "I put my ring finger in Clive's mouth and he put his ring finger in my mouth with our teeth resting right on the last joint. We looked in each other's eyes, nodded, and bit down as hard as we could. It was a little disappointing because we couldn't actually get all the way through, but we did pop the joint open and tear it a little. We cut the rest, just some skin and the tendon, the normal way."
  • The NORMAL way?

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

"Santa Maradona"
Over to Italy for Santa Maradona and some slight breast exposure by Anita Caprioli.

• Anita Caprioli (1, 2, 3)

"28 Days Later..."
Back to England for 28 Days Later..., based on The Day of the Triffids. No nudity but Naomie Harris and Emma Hitching are down to their underwear.

• Naomie Harris (1, 2)
• Emma Hitching

"The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne"
Still in England we have The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne and some brief nudity by Rudi Davies.

• Rudi Davies (1, 2)

"Wild Things 2"
Wild Things 2 is very similar to Wild Things but the nudity comes from unknowns and a body double. Very sexy shots of Susan Ward, Leila Arcieri (who is topless but uses a body double) and Katie Stuart.

• Susan Ward (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
• Leila Arcieri (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Katie Stuart
• Unknowns

"The Last Summer"
Back to the 60s for a The Last Summer and some brief topless exposure by Barbara Hershey and Catherine Burns.

• Barbara Hershey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Catherine Burns

"Vampires:Los Muerotos"
No nudity in Vampires:Los Muerotos but some nice see-through exposure by Arly Jover.

• Arly Jover (1, 2)

Thanks,
3finger

MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL UPDATE
Did She Molest Any Children? - In testimony experts say hurt Michael Jackson's prosecution, his accuser's mom spent two days on the stand sobbing, snapping her fingers, putting on a German accent, arguing with Jackson's attorney, crying "Don't judge me!" and generally appearing wildly unstable.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!