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"Bare Witness"

Bare Witness (2001 video) is a direct to vid grade B erotic thriller with Angie Everhart in the lead role. This seems to be one of a rash of such films with Everhart as sort of a redheaded honkie poor man's Pam Grier. The plot is weak enough to be a soft-core, but the sex and exposure in more on the tamer erotic thriller level. In this one, Cataina Larranaga is Angie's room mate, and works for the same creep that Angie tends bar for. Her job is turning tricks and making pornos. She tapes herself with her customers, planning to make a documentary some day. She inadvertently films a John making arrangements to commit a political assassination. The person who did the hiring kills her, the assassain, and the sleazy bar owner trying to get rid of witnesses, and is after Angie to get the tape. His girlfriend (Lauren Reina) adds additional exposure. The political plot is rather twisted, but is the only surprise in this film, so I will leave it to you to discover.

Everhart shows breasts in a dark and tame sex scene with a police detective. Larranaga shows everything in the opening sex scene. Reina shows breasts in another dark sex scene. There is peripheral exposure from girls making a porno. There are not enough votes at IMDB for a score, they only have three of the cast listed, and they have one of the three wrong. This doesn't have enough plot for an erotic thriller, and not enough exposure for a soft-core. I can't give it better than a D+.

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  • Angie Everhart (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Catalina Larranaga (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Lauren Reina (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)


    Highlander (1986) was just re-released in a special edition, and, since I didn't own it, I picked it up. I will say that the transfer is very good, and, for me, some of the imagery is the only worthwhile part of this film. Even then, the historical scenes were intentionally shot with a grainier film stock, and so were not all that clean even with a good transfer. The enhanced sound enabled Queen to irritate me even more than ever.

    As far as I am concerned, the story is of a 300 year old guy who spent all of that time around sharp metal objects (swords) but never learned to shave, and his inevitable battle to the death with an evil punk rocker. The film has many admirers, but i am not among them. IMDB has it at 7.1 of 10. Roxanne Hart shows breasts in a very dark sex scene near the end, and a lovely Beatie Edney has a nipple slip as MacLeod's first wife. The sword and sorcery crowd, of which I am not one, think this is the finest of its kind. In my drinking days, I once had the greatest hangover I had ever had, but I certainly didn't enjoy it. The photography in parts is something special, but the fighting scenes are rather over-choreographed, and cables and safety rigging is way to obvious during most of the stunts. It has little crossover appeal, so the score is probably C+. Speaking for myself alone, I would rate it lower.

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  • Beatie Edney (1, 2, 3)
  • Roxanne Hart (1, 2, 3)

    Jr's note: To kinda borrow from "Highlander"....There should have been only one. I liked the first movie very much, and I think the world would have been much better off without 3 sequels.

    Here is my theory on why this movie has become such a cult favorite.

    I think the real appeal in this story is that they didn't explain why there were immortals or how they came to be. That left the audience to think a little bit, and to try to fill in the many blanks.

    So in other words...a couple of guys got stoned one day, missed the Pink Floyd laser light show, stumbled into a theater playing "High"-lander, were mystified by the many unanswered questions in the story, and rocked out to the Queen soundtrack.

    Then they told two friends, and so on, and so on.....

    "Butterflies Are Free"

    Butterflies Are Free (1972) is an early Goldie Hawn vehicle based on a Broadway play. Its stage origin is obvious based on the fact that it has a small cast, few sets and locations, and lots of dialogue. It is, however, a very good adaptation. Do to the talent of Goldie, they were able to take advantage of the intimate camera, and have Goldie's facial expression and body language carry a lot of the humor. Goldie moves into a San Francisco apartment, next to a blind man, who is on his own for the first time. His rich and overprotective Hillsborough mother has agreed to give him 60 days on his own. Hawn is impressed, but has never committed to anything in her life, and likes to think that she is a free as a butterfly.

    Hawn is in a bra and panties for much of the film. At 27, she looked absolutely wonderful. IMDB readers have it at 6.7 of 10. Eileen Heckart as the boys mother won Bet Supporting Actress Oscar. This new DVD transfer is very nice, especially for a 1972 film, and is a must for Hawn Fans. C+.

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  • Goldie Hawn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Novocaine is kind of an inept comedy version of The Man Who Wasn't There, in the sense that a guy does one little thing wrong, then keeps hiding and covering his gradually escalating mistakes, all because he got interested in the wrong tootsie. Finally, he's locked up on  Murder 1. I would love to hear the discussions that got Helena Bonham Carter cast in this offbeat comedy film as an American white trash bimbo. She could easily have taken the Worst Actress razzie if anybody had seen this film, since she was neither funny nor American!  More important, however, she got her breasts out for our enjoyment, which makes a it a great performance in my book.

    • Helena Bonham Carter (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Flesh and Bone is a moody, atmospheric noir about people in the seedy underside of Texas life. Sonny Corleone plays an evil, violent cowboy grifter. Not a bad movie, especially if you ignore the silly plot and view it as a character study, marked by a terrific but underappreciated performance by Dennis Quaid, in a note-perfect replication of a classic Texas type. This film is probably most noteworthy for getting not one but two really big stars to remove their shirts.


    Thief of Hearts is a 1984 romantic thriller written as the author's follow-up to An Officer and a Gentleman. He shouldda quit while he was ahead. A good idea, cast wrong, written wrong. It had some good touches - I liked George Wendt and David Caruso as the support players, but the movie just didn't deliver on the promise. The idea: a thief steals a woman's diaries as part of his booty, then determines to use his knowledge of her to seduce her.

    • Barbara Williams. I suppose I'm too picky about stuff like this, but if I looked like Steven Bauer, you'd never catch me lusting madly after such a big-haired, thick-legged, average-housewifey-lookin' woman. Steven's character really needed a self-confidence boost. (1, 2)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Lysette Anthony, in "The Hard Truth". This collage features a really bad haircut as well as some breast exposure.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Renée Humphrey Best known to many of us as Tricia Jones from the Kevin Smith movie "Mallrats" (1995). Here she is showing off a little breast exposure, plus a thong view in scenes from "The Sex Monster".

    Angelina Jolie A little bit of nipple exposure from "Pushing Tin".

    Donna D'Errico Non-nude, but the former hefmate sure knows how to fill up a tight shirt! Scenes from "Candyman: Day of the Dead" (1999).

    Milla Jovovich Looking good on Euro TV.

    Amy Smart Her beautiful toplessness in "Road Trip".

    Amber Smith The lovely Amber barely covering up her breasts in public.

    Demi Moore A very nice collage by Dann of Demi before the robo-hooter installation in scenes from "About Last Night".

    Stephanie Waring
    (1, 2)

    Best Known by many from her years on "Hollyoaks". Here she is topless on the Aussie series "Crash Palace".

    Laura Fraser Full frontal nudity in scenes from "Left Luggage"

    Alexandra London Nice toplessness from the French movie "Pourquoi pas moi?" (1999)

    Girls Gone Wild Ok, so you've seen the commercial every 6 minutes on here are the goodies! From the Girls On Campus video. Plenty of great breasts, plus a few semi-gyno-cam shots.

    Katya Berger
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Topless and full frontal nudity in scenes from "Nana, the True Key of Pleasure" (1982).

    Answering the call
    Thanks to everyone for helping out with the ID of Robert Urich's secretary from the show "Vega$". Her name is Phyllis Davis, and she can be seen topless in "Sweet Sugar" (1972), and full frontal in "Terminal Island" (1973).

    Here are some 'caps that we had in the Encyclopedia

    • Phyllis Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...


    Not much celeb news today, but here are a few things from Ananova. The first one involves a controversy over a pair of hotpants up for auction and whether Kylie Minogue has actually worn them. I can see how it would definitely decrease their value had she not. Check out the picture. If she had worn them, I'm sure you'd be able to tell...

    And yet more Kylie news:
    A website that lets you dress her up like a paper doll. You can even send in wardrobe suggestions. I'm sure your readers will inundate them with the suggestion that she "lose the underwear"...

    New website gives Kylie fans chance to dress her online
    A new website has been launched allowing fans to dress Kylie Minogue. Outfits range from her gold hotpants to the mechanic's overalls she wore as Charlene in Neighbours. Fans can even send in their own wardrobe suggestions. The 'dress Kylie' site can be found at

    No celebrities involved in this one, but it's interesting. Some models are playing a game of strip chess in a store window. This is why my favorite game is blackjack: it's over so fast...

    Game of strip chess entertains Oxford Street shoppers
    Shoppers are being entertained by a game of strip chess in a London shop window. The main window of Selfridges in Oxford Street is playing host to a couple playing a series of provocative chess matches until Sunday. In a stunt to publicise a new TV commercial for Gordon's Gin, which features strip chess, the players have to remove an article of clothing each time they lose a chess piece. Wendy Darlington, brand director for Diageo-owned Gordon's Gin, says: "The Selfridges window event allows consumers to interact with the brand firsthand and, unusually, see an ad before it breaks on TV." She adds: "The live ad will provide Oxford Street shoppers with a little sophisticated pleasure and appeal to the modern, stylish sensibilities of both Gordon's drinkers and Selfridges customers." The players are only allowed to strip to their underwear.

    Finally, from IMDB News, I don't care if he is toting a chainsaw and wearing a mask made of human skin, Ryan Phillippe cannot frighten me. Reese Witherspoon, now SHE would be intimidating...

    Phillippe To Grab Chainsaw
    Hollywood hunk Ryan Phillippe is reported to have signed up to play Leatherface in a remake of 1974 classic horror flick The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The star - whose wife is sexy actress Reese Witherspoon - will have to put on weight, wear dead skin, take to transvestitism and run around hacking up teenagers with a chainsaw for the part. But Hollywood sources say the 27-year-old is keen to take on the role. Production of the film, which will be produced by Michael Bay' Platinum Dunes production company, is due to start this summer.

    Jr's comments: Why? There have already been 3 sequels/remake of this movie. How many times can you tell the same friggin story?

    Fianlly...A little silliness. You have to see the photos. The one on top is funny, but the second one down is hilarious.

    A request from the Mail Bag
    Hey Scoop

    Just curious if anyone made any 'caps of Karyn Parsons from the second episode of the "The Job" on Wednesday night. She spent the entire show in a bikini.

    Until she finally does a nude scene, this episode will probably be the best we can hope for!