The Washing Machine


"You can't wash away the terror."

This second tier giallo from Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) turned out to be a pleasant surprise for me.

Oh, it has its problems. OK, I'll be honest - it has a LOT of problems. Like most of the films in the genre, even some of the best ones, the plot is nearly impossible to follow. It starts out with a hooker rejecting her pimp, then moves to a scene where the hooker's sister finds the pimp dead inside a washing machine and calls the police. Of course, nothing is as it seems. The police conclude that there never was a body inside the washing machine at all, and that the sister who called in the discovery has a few splinters in the windmills of her mind, so there is really nothing to investigate. The pimp does seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth, but the scene with the washing machine was apparently the fantasy or the nightmare of a crazy woman.

Unfortunately, the police inspector can't escape the hooker and her crazy sister. There is also a third sister who has some intriguing theories of her own about the pimp's murder and/or disappearance. All three of the sisters seem to have the idea the one of the other sisters murdered the pimp, and they insist on relaying these ideas to the police inspector at all times of the day and night, whether he is home or in his office. The three sisters are not only interested in annoying the inspector, but they all want to seduce him as well. What makes the film so difficult to follow is that it is never clear to the viewer whether the action on screen is supposed to represent reality, a dream, a hallucination, or a dramatization of one of the sisters' elaborate lies.

To tell you the truth, I never did figure out exactly what the sisters were up to. It had something to do with a suitcase full of money and jewels, and a master scheme concocted by the pimp to obtain that suitcase from some drug dealers, but I don't really know exactly how all the details were supposed to fit together. I lost interest in the details because the usual wooden dubbing and the semi-incoherent narrative stepped all over any potential for suspense or mystery, and I never really took any significant interest in the characters. It's probably just as well that I didn't pay close attention to the plot, because it seems like one of those films that makes less sense the more you study it.

I suppose The Washing Machine must have been a great financial failure because Deodato was never able to direct another theatrical feature, and nobody has even made an effort to sell the film on DVD in North America or Europe. The only edition I could find is an all-region disc from Thailand.

So why, you may wonder, did I like this confusing giallo? Fair question.

Two elements made the film worthwhile for me:

The first pertains only to me. The Washing Machine was filmed in Budapest in 1993. I lived and worked in Budapest in 1993, so this film brought back a flood of memories of a specific time and place in my life. The buildings, the streetcars, the bridges, the landmarks ... it was like looking through the photo album which I never actually made.

You don't care about that, but you will relate to the second element. This film has some creative sex scenes involving sexy women with superlative bodies.

(Click on the names to download the film clips.)

  • Petite Ilaria Borrelli is almost a dead ringer for Elaine on Seinfeld. She was only 24 when the film was lensed, and she looks great in and out of tight outfits. She does two inventive sex scenes. In one, she is trying to have ultra-quiet sex with the detective while her blind friend is only a few feet away, trying to find them. In the other, she seduces the detective by dancing naked on a pole, stripper style, while they are backstage during a musical performance. Hot stuff. I'm not sure why Ilaria never became a star, but according to IMDb she stopped performing before her 30th birthday and is now a writer/director.
  • Barbara Ricci plays the crazy sister. Her sex scenes are not so spectacular and she mostly just removes her top at random times for no apparent reason. But, damn, that woman has a gorgeous body! She's also quite beautiful in a spooky way appropriate for the role.
  • The third sister, the hooker, is played by the the spectacularly busty Polish actress Kashia Figura, and her scenes are played out with a touch of surreal comedy.
  • There is also additional nudity from background strippers and the blind friend. (Although the blind woman has a big part, I couldn't identify her from the credits. She is probably Agnes David, because Agnes is the only female name listed in the cast who I can't match to a role, and the blind woman is the only major female cast member that I can't match to a name. But maybe not.)


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Another double feature. Some caps from a couple of film clips found recently in the Fun House.


Looking for Mr Goodbar



Diane Keaton with some rare T & A from "Looking for Mr. Goodbar." This picture was made the same year as "The Godfather".





Husbands and Lovers


Joanna Pacula with tits and leg in "Husbands and Lovers". You can play "The Spot the Tool" game in this set.








Bingbing Fan in Lost in Beijing
Kate Ashfield in The Baker
Christina Rosa in Stupid Teenagers Must Die
Jamie Carson in Stupid Teenagers Must Die
Lindsay Gareth in Stupid Teenagers Must Die
Claudia Rojas in La Novia de Lazaro
Eleanore Merrill in Swingers

Ellen van der Koogh in Swingers
Nienke Brinkhuis in Swingers

unknown in One Two Many
Jane Gould in Amateur Porn Star Killer

Michiko Jiminez in Amateur Porn Star Killer






Notes and collages

Nicole Kidman

part 2 of 3

Eyes Wide Shut, 1999







Hello, Mary Lou: Prom Night II


This 1987 horror flick, not exactly a sequel to 1980's Prom Night, is also not exactly very good, but it does have a nice full-frontal scene. The main connection to the original is a bad event happening on prom night, but the stories are quite different.

The movie starts in 1959 when Mary Lou Maloney is about to be crowned queen. Her boyfriend, mad because she's planning to go home with someone else, accidentally sets her on fire, killing her.

Thirty years later, the boyfriend is now principal of the school, and it's prom time again. This time Vicki Carpenter (Wendy Lyon) is a shoo-in for queen, but when she opens an old trunk in the basement of the school, she is suddenly possessed by Mary Lou's spirit, and Mary Lou is eager to see her old flame, the principal.

It's B-movie horror all the way, pretty bad, but it's still kind of fun. Unfortunately, the shower scene was dimly lit and loaded with steam, so the shower panels in the collage are pretty bad, but it's still interesting, I suppose.

Wendy Lyon








Jemima Khan upskirt


Nicole Narain nipple action


Film Clips

Jessica Lange in Blue Sky (1994). You probably don't remember this film, but Jessica does. She won the Oscar for Best Actress! It's her only win in five nominations for Best Actress in a leading role, but she did win another Oscar - for best supporting actress in Tootsie.

Taryn Power in Tracks (1976). As you'll quickly determine from these clips, Taryn and the others seen here were not likely to be in competition with Ms Lange for those Oscars.

Lavinia Wilson in Julietta (2001)

Patsy Kensit in Love and Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story (1995). TV movie. First clips I've ever seen. Patsy played Mia.

Vanessa Ferlito in Undefeated (2003). Boxing flick from HBO; written by, directed by and starring John Leguizamo.

We'll sign off with some nostalgia: Patricia Brake in My Lover My Son (1970)