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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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.45
This is a 2006 story about the revenge taken by a battered girlfriend on a
badass Irish gangster. The film starts on a humorous note, with the girlfriend
(Milla Jovovich) talking about Big Al's huge dick. We soon learn that Al is a
genuinely nasty person. He makes a living selling guns when he's not stealing
and fencing merchandise. He is jealous, bigoted, and God knows what else.
Milla helps him in the business, but he thinks she was being too friendly
to a Puerto Rican, and beats her up. The beating is very long and intense,
make deliberately so by first-time director Gary Lennon to make sure could be
no sympathy for Al (Angus MacFadyen).
Three people want to get Milla in bed and are more than happy to help Milla
get her revenge by removing Al from the picture.
This film has not seen a release in an English speaking country, but I
thought the entire cast did an excellent job, and had this been a third film
by a director rather than a first one, I feel sure it would have had a
theatrical release. The plot outline is great, although some of the execution
could have been better. I know why the beating scene had to be brutal, for
example, but I thought it was way over-done.
- There are no reviews in English.
- IMDb readers say 5.9.
- This is a brutal crime drama/revenge film, and is probably a C,
especially given nudity and a fine performance from Milla Jovovich.
It is finally available on a Region 1 DVD, and is ready to ship now to get
to you by the street date.
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This Gun for Hire
Raven (Robert Wagner) is hired to kill a man whom he thinks is a commonplace-average hit. Unbeknownst to Raven the hit is no ordinary Joe, but a US Senator and Raven has been set up to take the fall. He takes Anne (Nancy Everhard), hostage while attempting to elude the authorities who have initiated a massive manhunt for him. He also attempts to figure out who set him up and why. His attempt to evade the cops and figure out what really went down is one plot which the viewer may assume is the central plot,
but eventually Raven's interaction with Anne, and his attempts to
determine what really matters to him, actually becomes the main focus of the film.
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Notes and collages
"Farscape" - Part 36
Season Four, Episode 20
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Gigi Edgley |
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Rebecca Riggs |
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Flannel Pajamas
2005's Flannel Pajamas is two movies. The first half is a happy romance
where two people fall in love and marry. The second half is a domestic
drama where the relationship crashes and burns. The movie as a whole is
overly talky, overly long, and basically underwhelming.
Two thirty-something New Yorkers meet on a blind date arranged by her
therapist. There is an instant attraction, followed by a courtship that is
charming at times, and stupid at others, and ending in marriage.
Family, friends, a miscarriage, a diagnosis of cancer, and just the
stress of everyday life, conspire to eventually drive the couple apart.
They don't fall out of love so much as they fall out of like. They simply
get to the point where they can't stand being together.
All in all, a disappointing movie, but on the upside, Julianne
Nicholson has several nude romps during the first hour of the flick.
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Lauren Bittner |
Julianne Nicholson |
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Troie si nasce, puttane si daventa
Also know as "Le Malizie della marchesa," this is an Italian hardcore porn flick. The performers
include Europeans Eva Orlowsky, Miss Pomodoro, Joy Karin's, and Rocco Siffredi,
as well as
Americans Teri Weigel and Ron Jeremy.
The "story" has a "marquise" (played by
Eva Orlowsky) taking part in orgies with her husband, friends and servants in a
villa.
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
An international sex survey by Durex Condoms found that South Africans and
Nigerians were the most sexually satisfied people in the world. The Greeks have
the most sex (164 times a year), followed by Brazil (145), Poland and Russia
(both 143). But the ones who enjoy it most are the Nigerians, 67 percent of
whom rate themselves as sexually satisfied, and South Africans, two-thirds of
whom claim to orgasm regularly, compared to a global average of 48 percent.
* Nigerians orgasm every time someone leaves them $10
million, so it's very frequent.
The least sexually-satisfied nation on Earth is Japan. Only 15 percent are
satisfied with their sex lives, and on average, they have sex just 48 times a
year, the lowest frequency of any nation.
* If the Earth moves in Japan, it's just a Godzilla
attack.
Nigerians spend 24 minutes on average having sex, longer than any other
nationality, while South Africans last 20 minutes. The world average is 18
minutes.
* If these people are so satisfied, how come they're
checking their watches during sex?
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