"Let's Make It Legal"

Let's Make It Legal (1951) is a classic romantic comedy in the late 40s early 50s Hollywood style, and is currently rated 5.6 at IMDb. Had movie goers voted at the time, it would have been much higher. It stars Claudette Colbert at 48, near the end of her career, but still looking good enough to carry the romantic lead. Playing her daughter is the lovely Barbara Bates at her prime, age 26. The reason I watched this film, however, was that it featured Marilyn Monroe in a small role near the beginning of her rise to stardom age 25. Male performers include Macdonald Carey, Zachery Scott, and Robert Wagner.

Colbert and Carey are close to their divorce becoming final, a divorce she wanted because he seemed to care more about gambling than her. He wants her back . He is manager of publicity for a large hotel, and his son-in-law, Wagner, works for him. Wagner, Bates, and their baby daughter live with Colbert, a situation that Wagner wants to end. Bates wants her parents to reconcile. Wagner sees a chance when Scott arrives at the hotel, as he was Carey's rival for Colbert, so he resolves to get Scott and Colbert together, thus removing Bates' excuse for living with her mother. Monroe is a young model staying at the hotel.

The plot is reasonably predictable, although there was a nice little twist at the end which I personally liked. This was still the era of Ozzie and Harriet marriages, and we never see more than a little cleavage from the three women. There was no attempt to inject any realism. In fact, these films were romantic escapist fare, but featured beautiful women and amusing situations, while they explored some aspect of the age old but friendly battle of the sexes. Something inside me still appreciates that kinder, gentler era, and I enjoyed this film very much, especially after the other film I screened today. If you are also a sucker for this genre and have not seen it, it is worth the rental. It is as good as the genre gets, and the transfer, although there were some chips and one or two scratches, was very nicely re-mastered. This is a C+.

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  • Barbara Bates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Claudette Colbert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Marilyn Monroe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    "In My Skin"

    In My Skin (2002) is the most relentlessly disturbing film I have ever seen. I am not the only one with this reaction, and some theaters posted a warning that there would be no refunds for people who walked out. Many walked out anyway. The occasional viewer enjoyed it, as evidenced by the Village Voice review, although it reads like the writer was far more impressed with his own writing than with the film. One of the comments at IMDb was telling. He said it was so disturbing that he had to turn it off and walk away for a while. He then added that he considered that a good thing in a film. Thus, here is the important question: Do you like to be disturbed by a film? If your answer is yes, this may be the best film ever made for you. If not, avoid it at all costs. By our rating system, it is a C+ as a profoundly disturbing film, but one that most will want to avoid. So what is it about?

    The short version, it is about a girl who indulges in self mutilation. She is in an upwardly mobile position with a market research firm and has a steady significant other, but is not terribly self-aware. Then, at a party, she decides to explore their back yard, trips, and opens gashes on her leg. She returns to the party, not noticing the injury, until she sees her own bloody footprints. The doctor in the emergency room, while he is stitching her up, comments that it is more than a little unusual that she took so long to notice injuries this severe. Then, it is like some door to her psyche has been opened, and she sneaks away whenever she can to cut herself, chew her own skin, and finally cut a large piece of skin from her leg and tan it.

    The film was written and directed by, and stars Marina de Van. She shows all three Bs early in the film, but most of the film is the depiction of her self mutilation. The DVD had a subtitled version of the director's commentary, and I read enough of it to find out that the woman who wrote, directed, and starred in this film was only guessing why the character she created was doing this. Had I her address, I would suggest that she ask the critic for the Village Voice, as he clearly has all of the answers. IMDb readers say 6.3 of 10. The 6 woman who voted have it at 3.8. It was most popular with males between 18 and 44. Needless to say, I will not re-watch this one.

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  • Marina DeVan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    There are 58 new volumes in the K section of the Encyclopedia, indicated in yellow.


     .wmv film clips - Mimi Rogers

    • The Rapture
    • Full Body Massage. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) Except for the fact that Mimi is the only very famous woman to get naked here, this film might be in the celebrity nudity hall of fame. It's sort of the English-language version of La Belle Noiseuse, that film where Emmanuelle Beart was naked throughout, and which was really about Beart getting naked. This film is pretty much about Mimi Rogers getting naked, as you'll see in the clips.



    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    The Loss of Sexual Innocence:

    • Hanne Klintoe in The Loss of Sexual Innocence. This is a strong candidate for the list of the bottom 100 movies of all time, maybe even the bottom 10, but the "Garden of Eden" nudity is great. (,.avi, .wmv)

    • Hanne Klintoe in The Loss of Sexual Innocence. (.avi, .wmv)

    • Hanne Klintoe in The Loss of Sexual Innocence. (.avi, .wmv)

    • Hanne Klintoe in The Loss of Sexual Innocence. (.avi, .wmv)


    • We had Mimi Rogers's career nudity today, so why not Uma Thurman's as well. Uma is a hot topic today, on the first weekend for Kill Bill 2, Here she is in Dangerous Liaisons.  (.avi, .wmv)

    • And here's more Uma breastitude in Baron Munchausen.  (.avi, .wmv)



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    First up from the Ghost...everyone's favorite white trash celeb, Anna Nicole Smith. Here we see her massive mammaries in several scenes from the straight-to-vid flick "Skyscraper" (1997).

    Next up, some more .wmvs.

    From the 1995 movie "Strange Days".

    This movie was one of those Hollywood dream projects with potential out the wazoo. A collaboration with 4 people still riding huge waves of success from other films. Story by James Cameron (who had just done "Terminator 2" and "True Lies"), direction by Kathryn Bigelow (who, had just done "Point Break"), and starring Ralph Fiennes ("Quiz Show" and "Schindler's List") and Angela Bassett ("What's Love Got to Do with It").

    I liked this movie quite a bit. So did Berardinelli (3.5 stars), a mess of other critics and Roger Ebert (who summed up everything very well in his review).

    So what happened? Why did it only make 8 million at the box office?

    I think one of the movie's fatal flaws comes from the fact that they stole from Conan O'Brien by "looking all the way to the year 2000". By setting it against the backdrop of the millenium (at the time only 4 years into the future) they kinda gimped themselves. Had they been a little less specific about when the movie took place, and let us just see this story as a pure fantasy 'in the near future' I think that would have helped let the audience accept the story instead of always thinking 'that will never happe in 4 years' or now when we look back on it, 'hahahhaha that never happened, what were they thinking'.

    Then of course there are a few other problems like a some wimpy "I need love and redemption" crap from the main character, and an ending that doesn't live up to the rest of film's amazing pace, music and editing. But still, it's a fun ride. More's a fun ride with some nudity.

    Click here to see what Scoop and Tuna had to say.

    • Juliette Lewis topless .wmvs (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "House of the Dead" (2003)
    Awful zombie filmed based on the Sega video game of the same name. DVD release has separate director and producer commentaries both discussing the size of the lead actress' jugs. Ona Grauer had a baby before filming started and was breastfeeding her infant on the set. However due to an award winning supporting performance by a costume, her bustier keeps her bouncing mammaries from popping out.

    • Ona Grauer: mega cleavage. (1, 2)
    • Erica Parker: topless skinnydipping, possible partial pubes.
    • Sonya Saloma: topless then having fully clothed sex.
    • Kira Clavell: skin tight body suit showing her breadbasket.
    • Enuka Okuma: white t-shirt with black brassiere.
    • Penny Phang: topless. She's shown the full monty in some hefmagh specials. That's rapper Bif Naked in the bikini top and headphones next to her.
    • Mashiah Vaughn Hulbert: flashing her boobs on videocamera.
    • Hot tub: Ellie Cornell, Kira, Sonya, and Ona relaxing in hottub in documentary feature of DVD.

    "Pact with the Devil" (2001)
    Modern adaption of Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray starring Funhouse favorite Malcolm McDowell. Lots of sex but almost no nudity.

    "Wicked Minds" (2002)
    R-rated romantic cable thriller with no nudity and fully clothed sex scenes.

    "The Inspectors 2: A Shred of Evidence" (2000)
    Movie about postal inspectors, the government agency that before the internet spent most of their time opening people's mail looking for dirty pictures.

    "Sparkle" (1999)
    Zero-budget Showgirls-type mockumentary. Despite the video cover showing the lead Wendy Anderson naked under the American flag she shows nothing in the movie.

    "Puppets Who Kill: Rocko and the Twins"
    Victoria Adilman and Sabrina Grdevich play conjoined twins. Vicki (left) shows some cleavage and Sabrina (right) some slight pokies.

    Last but not least:
    Not my cap but here's Victoria Adilman in the Forever Knight episode "Partners of the Month".

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Something's Gotta Give"
    In this 2003 romantic comedy, a 63 year old bachelor who never dates women over 30 inexplicably falls for the mother of one of his girl friends. What makes this fairly typical comedy funny, maybe even great, is Jack Nicholson, and especially, Diane Keaton. Their performances turn this from an average comedy into an exceptional one. Amanda Peet looking extremely yummy in a see-through blouse didn't hurt, either. :-)

    There are several very funny moments in this film one major high point is when he accidentially sees her naked. The reactions from both are classic. If you're looking for laughs combined with a nice sweet romance, grab up this one.