"See No Evil, Hear No Evil"
See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) is an Arther Hiller comedy staring Richard Pryor as a blind man (Wally), and Gene Wilder as a deaf man (Dave). It is the second film in which Hiller brought the two together. Pryor has nine miles of attitude and is a compulsive gambler who tries to hide the fact that he is blind. Dave, adept at lip reading, tries to convince everyone that he can hear. Dave runs a smoke shop/magazine stand, and Wally goes to him looking for a job. Wally's bookie shows up, but Wally is outside, some thugs for an industrial spy that the bookie is carrying a fake gold coin for come for the coin, and the female member (Joan Severance) of the duo shoots him, but not before he ditches the coin (actually a new room temperature super-conductor) in a coin box on the counter. Dave sees her legs, and Wally smells her perfume, and the cops arrest the boys for the murder.
The bad people figure out that the boys have the coin, and try to get them out of jail. Meanwhile, the boys stage an escape, and decide to solve the case themselves. Severance shows buns in a shower behind a frosted door, and breasts leaning out of the shower to get something out of her bag, which Wilder is trying to steal at the time to get the "coin" back. In the 4/3 version, which is full negative. We also get a long look at her breasts when Dave pretends his erection is a gun, and makes her put her hands up, dropping her towel.
IMDB readers have this at 5.7 of 10, and critics show 14% favorable at Rotten Tomatoes., with a big thumbs down from Ebert as the only top critic. The film grossed $46.9M, with another $20M in rentals. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Not every gag worked, but some of them were laugh out loud funny, and I liked both cantankerous characters. In one of my two favorite scenes, Wally is in a bar fight, with Dave helping him avoid punches, and telling him where to punch. In another, a police photographer is driven to distraction having Wally tell Dave to face forward, and not move. The correct score is probably C- for this slapstick comedy, but I found it great fun.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Forever Mine (1999)
Sometimes it is important to give credit
where credit is due. Cinematographers often have to sit back and
watch their best work ignored because the movie just wasn't much
good. A perfect example is The Patriot, from a couple of years back.
That movie is photographed about as well as a movie can be, and
cinematographer Caleb Deschanel was recognized by his fellow
cinematographers as the king of the hill that year, although the
Oscar went to another film. Has there ever been a case where the
Oscars overlooked a crap script and gave the cinematographer his
just due? After all, it wasn't Caleb's fault that the script wasn't
The poor cinematographer for Forever Mine is the protagonist of
the same story, except times three. This film
had so many problems that his beautiful print never even got
released theatrically, despite a 2.35 aspect ratio which can't be
appreciated except on a big screen.
I ridiculed the movie
unmercifully when it came to DVD, in one of my funnier and nastier
commentaries. The script is in the fast lane to Cliche City,
despite having been written by one of Hollywood's best
screenwriters, Paul Shrader, who wrote three Martin Scorsese films,
including two masterpieces, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.
But now I need to say this, to balance off the ledger.
Cinematographer John Bailey did a magnificent job on this film. The
film was shot to be projected at a 2.35 aspect ratio, which is
outrageous for a movie never seen in a theater. Of course, they
didn't know it would go straight-to-cable when they filmed it. As
bad as the movie is, I would pay to see it on a big screen, for two
reasons (1) Bailey's photography is motherfuckin' incredible - look
at the colors on the top of collage #1 (2) Gretchen Mol is naked at
about every possible opportunity, with a master photographer runnin'
By the way, this was no isolated fluke for Mr. Bailey, as you
might guess. He has never won an Oscar, or even a nomination, but
he's shot some very
fine films in his career, (He probably should have been
nominated for an Oscar for his work on The Big Chill, and he has
shot some terrific offbeat stuff, like Cat People and Groundhog
- Gretchen Mol (1,
The Rat Pack (2000)
Another couple of things I missed
the first time through
this movie (sort of a Sinatra biopic, which I enjoyed) ...
Don Cheadle did an awesome job in this film as Sammy Davis Jr.,
and Deborah Unger, who doesn't normally look that much like Ava
Gardner, looked exactly like Ava Gardner in this movie.
- There is female nudity in the
trailer for Terminator 3
- Great article for
baseball fans. The point: 500 foot homers in indoor stadiums
at sea level are not physically possible. Given the limitations on
bat speed, gravity, and the parabolic arc of trajectory, the limit
is around 470 feet. McGuire's famous 538 foot blast off of Randy,
said by some to be the longest ever seen, actually landed 439 feet
from home plate, and it was 59 feet above the ground when it
touched down, so it would have landed 474 feet from home if
allowed to fall to the ground uninterrupted by seating. Mantle's
famous 565 foot blast in Griffith Stadium is probably the longest
ball ever hit, and actually traveled only 506 feet, despite being
aided by a vicious wind blowing out. (It is possible for a ball to
exceed 475 feet, but it requires wind, or altitude, or both.)
Kournikova will start playing in the satellite tournaments instead
of the big events. Woman's wrestling events will be coming next
on her schedule.
- Silence! aka
Silence of the Lambs: The Musical. Featuring the toe-tappin' Top
40 hit, "If I Could Smell Her Cunt", which features such lines as
"If I could smell her cunt, perhaps I could taste humanity again".
This parody is a masterpiece - amazingly well done.
Madame Tussaud introduces the first wax likeness with a
squeezeable bottom. Sorry, it's not Kylie, but Brad Pitt.
- about five years ago, we used to get plenty of pictures from
the Naked Mile at the University of Michigan. There were hundreds
of participants and thousands of spectators.
year, five people ran, and they were all arrested immediately.
Madonna thwarts internet file-sharing of new album by flooding
the P2P networks with fakes. Some of the false mp3's just feature
her saying "what the fuck are you doing?" She has a right to do
that, I suppose, but she sure isn't making friends that way. For a
woman who was once considered a genius at public relations, she
now seems to make every move designed to eradicate all that PR
equity she worked so many years to build.
- Interesting. Did you even wonder why radio station call
letters begin with K in California, W in Florida, but may be
either in Oklahoma?
Here's the lowdown.
Iraqi Info Guy gets his own talking action figure. It's true,
we really do live in a post-ironic world.
Signs carved into 8,600-year-old tortoise shells found in China
may be mankind's earliest written words, fully 2000 years
before the oldest previously known. Scientists will be able to
confirm once they can ask Cher what she remembers about them.
- which country
has the most beautiful women? Is is no mistake that Venezuela
is at or near the top of these lists. The unique development of
their country's bloodlines has produced a beautiful group of
people. I suppose I've been in about 100 countries, and Venezuela
would have made my Top Three. In my jaunts through South America,
I thought the women of Venezuela to be just as consistently
beautiful as the ones in Brazil. Hungary does not appear on the
list, but I was also dazzled by the women there, and the
spectacular Hungarian women have traditionally been prized brides
for Austrians, Slavs, and others.
- I've pointed this out before, but if you're a young guy
looking to party with beautiful women, Brazil and Venezuela are
not for you unless you are blond. If you are blond, the women will
be curious about you. If not, the women won't give you a second
look because the men there are also very good looking, and the
upper and middle class guys stay perfectly groomed, in great
shape, tan and healthy. Lots of average guys on the street are
movie star handsome, so you'll have about as good a chance with
the women as Rodney Dangerfield would have of winning a Pierce
Brosnan lookalike contest.
- Hungary should be your destination. The women are gorgeous and
well-scrubbed, but the men never smile and have the grooming
habits of ZZ Top. If you look even reasonably presentable,
lots of gorgeous women will be interested in you.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
|Mr. Nude Celeb
'Caps by Mr. Nude Celeb, 2 minute review by me, Scoopy Jr.
Only in Hollywood! I would have loved to have been in on the pitch meeting where someone said...
"Keanu Reeves is a hot shot southern lawyer, and Al Pacino is the Devil. Pacino tempts Reeves with money and power, but in the end, Keanu outsmarts the Devil!
Amazingly, unlike most Tinseltown projects where studios put big names with average scripts and hope for box office gold, this is one of the rare instances where the formula worked! Not only did the movie make a few bucks at the box office, it's become a favorite on the TNT network, and personally I think it's a great movie. Pacino overacts his way into a fantastic performance as the Devil, Keanu wasn't all that bad and best of all, there was plenty of nudity!
- Charlize Theron, topless and full frontal nudity.
- Connie Nielsen, topless, full frontal and rear nudity.
- Tamara Tunie, topless
||Topless in scenes from "Hypercube: Cube 2" (2002)
'Caps and additional comments by Dann:
The sequel to 1997's "Cube", the story's basically the same; a group of people are trapped in a cube they can't get out of, and don't know why. This is the kind of movie you either love or hate, and I loved it; this is top-flight Sci-Fi, in my mind.
|Topless in the original version of "Vanilla Sky", the Spanish movie called "Abre los ojos" aka "Open Your Eyes" (1997).
|Upskirt and topless views from the German actress in scenes from an episode of "Nicht Ohne Meinen Anwalt".
|Topless and rear nudity in her one and only screen appearance as the dream girl in the shower from "Risky Business" (1983).
|Explicit 'caps of the French actress baring all! Including some gyno-cam views and bj scenes. Vidcaps from the 1999 movie "Romance"
|Lori Jo Hendrix
|Full frontal and rear nudity from something called "Heavenly Hooters".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MAN ATTACKS MALL EASTER BUNNY
Harvey Wallbanger - The Wausau, Wisconsin, Daily Herald reports that Travis
Peterson was working as the Easter Bunny at the Wausau Center Mall when he
was assaulted. As shocked children looked on, an apparently drunken man
hopped into Peterson's lap, put him in a headlock and punched him three
times in the mouth. The big Bunny head cushioned the blows, but Peterson
got some flakes of paint in his eye. Police arrested a 21-year-old man.
They suspect he was trying to show off for friends.
But his friends thought that beating up the Easter Bunny was about as pathetic as you can get.
He's been listening to much hip-hop.
That guy sounds like a bad egg.
NEW YORKERS TRY "SLAVERCISE"
The Stare Mistress - The new fitness fad in New York City is "Slavercise,"
a class run by a dominatrix named Mistress Victoria who mixes exercise with
sadomasochism. She threatens to spank her students if they don't work hard
enough, and constantly insults and badgers them, saying, "I don't want to
hear any whimpering. You're here to suffer." She explained, "Anybody is
going to pay more attention to their fitness instructor if she's got a
riding crop in her hand and is wearing leather and stilettos."
Richard Simmons couldn't agree more.
If you really want to suffer, try exercising in black leather and stilettos.
If you'd rather die than do one more leg lift, Mistress Victoria can
Aren't ALL aerobics classes a mixture of exercise and sadomasochism?
Take away the riding crop, leather and stilettos and it sounds like she's just another High School football coach.
MISS NUDE WORLD CONTEST COMING TO DES MOINES
You Really Oughta Give Iowa A Try! - Des Moines, Iowa, has been chosen as
the site for this year's Miss Nude World contest in October. 75 nude
dancers from around the world will perform for up to 10,000 people at a big
strip club called the Lumber Yard. A spokesman for the Des Moines
Convention and Visitors Bureau said it's not the kind of event they'd
endorse, but he guesses that anything that brings visitors to town is
He can finally advertise that people come to Des Moines to see the mountains.
Usually in Des Moines, guys who go to the Lumber Yard for stripping are just looking for varnish remover.
10,000 men and 75 strippers! That Lumber Yard's gonna have a lot of wood!
The contest has only one rule: "No naked Iowans!"
PAUL McCARTNEY'S COLD GERMS FOR SALE
Coming Up - Beatles fan Ian Mears of London claims he caught a cold or flu
from Paul McCartney when he met him earlier this month. So he's cashing in
by offering Paul's germs for sale on eBay. Mears said successful bidders
will receive their germs by mail in a "resealable bag that I will cough
into, or if preferred, they can have a plastic container full of mucus."
After two days, it had attracted two bids, the highest for 1.2 pounds
Sorry, $1.89 doesn't even cover the reserve price for an ordinary bag of mucus.
If you've ever explored eBay, you know that lots of people WOULD buy a bag of mucus.
He's hoping to attract a buyer who already has John, George and Ringo's mucus and needs to complete the set.
MICHAEL MOORE OSCAR EXCUSE #5!
Pot Calls Kettle Black! Film At 11! - Michael Moore is accusing CNN of
manipulating the audio on rerun clips of his Oscar speech to make the
booing sound loud and constant when "in reality, there was only marginal
booing often overridden with cheers and applause." He demanded a full
investigation of this "clear and shocking example of unethical behavior
through manipulation of an historic event."
The only person who's allowed to do that is Michael Moore!
He also released a tape of Charlton Heston demanding a full investigation, spliced together from several NRA speeches.
This is tough...Who to believe: the liar who claims he wasn't booed, or the network that takes orders from Saddam Hussein?