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"Two Moon Junction", from
Tuna
Who cares what happens
in this frickin' Zalman King movie? Sexy visuals.
Sherilyn Fenn is naked and full frontal, It's now
on DVD. The defense rests.
Fenn is a demure
Southern Belle in petticoats, daughter of a
senator, and she's engaged, but she can't resist
a bare-chested carny guy. The tale of southern
gothic erotica includes Louise Fletcher, Burl
Ives (!!), old dogs, pick-up trucks, Milla
Jovovich, longneck beers, Kristy McNichol,
bourbon, slow-movin' trains, and Tattoo from
Fantasy Island. What else is there? You were
expecting an Ingmar Bergman film?
thumbnails. Tuna recommends 1,3,4,9,17.
Sherilyn Fenn (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
"The
Cake", from Tuna
Red Shoes Diaries
episode. A woman has herself made into an erotic
cake for her husband's birthday, and then ends up
delivered to a party hosted by her in-laws.
thumbnails. Jennifer MacDonald (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10, 11, 12) Saxon Trainor Unknown (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
"Shattered
Image", from Johnny Web
Anne Parillaud, the
original Nikita, is back to the slinky murderess
outfit in the opening sequence, and it still fits
her because she obviously hasn't had a meal in
the intervening ten years, and seems to be
getting in shape for the lead in the next Karen
Carpenter biopic. But wait - that woman,
"Jessie" was a character in a dream.
She wakes up. She's not a murderess but a
honeymooner in Jamaica, still frightened of a
rapist who terrorized her in the past. But maybe
the rapist is her husband, who is now trying to
kill her for her money. Maybe. Maybe not. But
wait - now that woman wakes up, and she really is
the murderess, dreaming about the honeymooner.
But wait .....
Yadda, yadda, yadda. Bad
movie with great roots. The premise linked to
"The Double Life of Veronique", some
scenes done in homage to Hitchcock, others a tip
of the cap to Welles' "Lady from
Shanghai", and the ending is even a serious
version of the ending of "Wizard of
Oz". Unfortunately, the director hasn't the
ability to pull off any of it. The obligatory
"hanging from the cliff" scene has no
tension at all, and is more confusing than
terrifying. I suppose it's even more confusing
because the husband clearly comes along like a
white knight to save her. If he was trying to
kill her, as she seems to believe, this would
have been a good time to do it with no legal
repercussions.
The whole movie
generates pretty much the same reaction. You'll
keep saying WTF.
I suppose the premise
isn't so bad, somewhere between Hitchcock and
Serling, but the movie gets lost in poor cutting
and even worse performing. Anne Parillaud's
frightened newlywed and ruthless hitwoman are
indistinguishable, except for their make-up. She
delivers all her lines in the same monotonous
whisper. On some film locations she'd have
someone to help her with her inexpressive
English, but in this case the director doesn't
speak English himself, and the co-star was
William Baldwin, who ... well, write your own
punch line here.
Actually, to be fair,
although the similarity of her portrayals is
irritating during the film, it actually makes
sense when you know the ending. Don't read any
more if you want to see the movie (which is a
waste of two hours of your precious time). It
turns out that Parillaud is in a Seattle
sanitarium, recovering from a pill overdose in
Jamaica. Maybe she attempted suicide (as she had
done before), or maybe her husband tried to kill
her. Who knows? She lies in a coma for six
months, and both Jessies are imaginary, strung
together from pieces of what she remembers, her
feelings toward her husband and the rapist, and
the sensory input from the sanitarium, just as
our dreams can be influenced by the TV program
blaring away while we sleep. That was the
"Wizard of Oz" aspect - the nurse in
her sanitarium at Christmas turns into a voodoo
priestess in Jamaica who runs a
Christmas-artifacts store. And you were there,
too, and you, Auntie Em.
In some of her dreams,
she is terrified. In others, she strikes back at
her own terror by assuming a character in total
control. This is actually sensible when viewed
again, armed with the secret. That actually does
explain why the dissimilar characters are
actually so similar and act so similarly in both
lives. Unfortunately, this is not a movie you
would watch again to see how the director held
the imagery together.
The final scene is -
well, we don't know if it really happens, or if
she has fallen back to sleep and continued her
dreams. And, since she has reconstructed the
entire overdose episode in her coma, and we never
saw the actual events except through the prism of
her dream-state, we never do find out exactly
what the hell is going on.
That might not matter,
if Welles directed it. In the hands of a top
director and crew, this might be a great movie.
Unfortunately, with this inept cutting, cheesy
b-noir dialogue, and weak cast, it's a horrible
botch job, and we don't really care to know the
truth. I literally fell asleep after 90 minutes
of a 103 minute movie, and resumed it later -
that should give you an indication of how much I
wanted to know the secret.
Strangely enough, it is
quite outstanding visually. Seattle is shot in
silver and gray, shrouded in fog. In contrast,
Jamaica is shot in vivid colors and bright
sunlight. Both are photographed beautifully,
although Seattle looks strangely like Vancouver,
possibly because it is. There are also some
visually effective scenes shot in an aquarium.
Robby Mueller was the cinematographer, and he's
worked quite regularly for 30 years, working with
Wim Wenders, and some other respected directors.
He did his part on this movie, but the rest of
the team kinda let him down. At least it doesn't
look like a botched straight-to-vid, but that's
really what it is. It took in a whopping $100,000
in US boxoffice.
And did I mention that
the thing is so frickin' boring that I fell
asleep? Anne Parillaud (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
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