As the father of three college students, my heart is heavy for the students and parents of Virginia Tech.

Beach Balls

I can't remember why I decided to watch this movie, but don't repeat my mistake. It's just another cheapie 1980's clone of One Crazy Summer without the imagination. Our hero and his nerdy friend hang out on the beach all summer long every summer, but for the third consecutive summer he can't bring himself to make his move on his dream girl. When he finally does get to know her, she only wants to use him to meet a guitarist she's interested in. This is doubly frustrating because our guitar-playing hero also fancies himself a future rock star.

Along the way toward the inevitable happy ending, we get to meet the stupid lifeguard jocks, the stupid hoods, and our hero's annoying family. Cardboard characters all, each played by unknowns in a formulaic and predictable plot. The nudity is minimal and poorly filmed, and the 77 minute running time is padded out with two full-length songs and several other song snippets.

Leslie Danon, as the hero's annoying sister, managed to hang around the industry for more than a decade playing French Girl, Girl #1, Girl in Bar, and so forth. I don't suppose she made a great living in the biz, but she did get to see her name in the credits many, many times. This was her film debut, and maybe the best role she ever had, but the nudity is too dark.

She had a nice body and also did a brief topless scene in Sometimes They Come Back ... Again.

Thirteen years after this film a very fit Leslie still looked great in a bikini in Burning Down the House. That was probably her last appearance on camera. I'm not sure what she is up to now.


Leslie Danon



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Monique, My Love

Monique, My Love is an east coast grind house film from 1969, starring Linda Boyce and Uta Erickson.

The stars play roommates. Linda wants to break into adult cinema. Uta wants to be a writer, and decides to tell Linda's story. She also serves as narrator. There is no live audio. The story is more of a premise than a plot. Linda lounges around in bed naked, then sets out to get a job. She takes some stills, then her new boss has her watch several porno films for training and inspiration. Finally, Uta ravishes her in a long girl/girl.

Uta Erickson and Linda Boyce both show full frontal and rear nudity, as do several unknowns.

IMDb doesn't even list this SWV film yet. Although the nudity is plentiful and explicit, the plot is a throwaway, lowering this one to C-.



Uta Erickson



Linda Boyce












Night Vision

Today from 1997's "Night Vision", a lousy movie only redeemed at all by some boobage by two babes. First up Mary Kapper shows off her hooters. Caps and a clip.

Then Nina Richardson is a topless "Babe in Bondage" who is shot by the killer. Two clips.








The Hidden

Police detective Tom Beck (Michael Nouri) investigates a bank robbery committed by a stockbroker with no previous criminal record. The man is badly injured in a high speed car chase and dies in the hospital. The man in the bed next to the stockbroker then gets up, steals rock music and a Ferrari and goes on an identical crime spree. A massive onslaught of gunfire is needed before he can be stopped, and immediately after he is killed, another person completely unrelated and with no previous criminal record takes up on an identical crime spree.

Detective Beck is joined by FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher (Kyle MacLachlan). Along with the mysterious Gallagher, who is not being entirely truthful about who he is, Beck discovers that what they are really hunting is a parasitic alien lifeform that is capable of passing from one body to another.

The Hidden introduced actress Claudia Christian to the world, who went onto become a minor genre queen, most notably as a regular on TV's Babylon 5.

Claudia Christian







Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 35

Season Four, Episode 19

Raelee Hill

Claudia Black







Film Clips

Cat People


I wonder if we'll ever to get to see the nasty stuff Paul Shrader filmed for this movie. Shrader and Kinski were lovers and she dumped his ass during the filming. That may not have been perfect timing, because Shrader got his revenge. There's a scene where Kinski is tied naked to a bed, and Sharader took the opportunity to shoot some explicit close-ups and open crotch shots. Kinski called up one of the producers, who persuaded Shrader to shelve the footage. I wonder if it still exists.

The stuff we can see is already pretty great!



Tara Glass in The Hamiltons







The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Swiss watchmaker Romain Jerome SA unveiled a new line of watches made with steel and coal salvaged from the Titanic, mixed with gold and platinum.  The watches are priced between $7800 and $173,100, but a spokesman said they'll sell because they're "very luxurious and very inaccessible.  So many rich people buy incredibly complicated watches without understanding how they work, because they want a story to tell," he said.  "To them, we offer a story."

*  Unfortunately, the Titanic watches are not waterproof.

A Concord, Michigan, teenager was arrested after he another juvenile
reportedly confessed to breaking into the home of Ted Nugent early Friday morning.  Police say they stole two all-terrain vehicles and two hunting crossbows, which were recovered.

*  By Ted...at bazooka-point. 

*  If ever any burglar had a plausible case to plead insanity, it's them.