Saturday

Fallo (2003)

Part 3, episode "2 cuori & 1 capanna"

Fallo is the latest movie from Tinto Brass, the czar of Italian medium-core erotica. The Tint-man is 73 now, and directed his first film way back in 1963, but is still up to his old tricks. This particular effort is a collection of six short stories, and some of them are pretty damned sexy. They are similar in imagination and romanticism to the best Zalman King erotica, but without the infernal teasing and excessive camera movement that almost always causes Zalman to disappoint. Tinto, unlike Zalman, not only promises the goods, he also delivers them.

Today's story is 2 cuori & 1 capanna, and our erotic stars are Raffaella Ponzo and Virginia Barrett.

Zipped .avis

 

 

Miscellaneous videos:

There's sort of a running theme today: little-known performances from well-known actresses

 


Other Crap:

 

The Smoking Gun: Hooters' corporate staff trainer suggested waitresses put out for extra bucks ... and an assistant manager was fired for complaining about it to corp headquarters.

Hockey fans delight: Alexander "The Great" Ovechkin - Highlight Film.

"A postcard sent from a Stetson home to a man in Riverside, Calif., was returned this week with a 'return to sender' stamp - and its 1956 postmark."

"A woman died Wednesday after going on a ride at Walt Disney World so intense that it has motion sickness bags." ... Now THAT's a ride!

Texas (temporarily) stops arresting people for being drunk in bars

LETTERMAN: Top Ten Signs You've Hired A Bad Easter Bunny

  • Before kids get candy they have to sit through a presentation about timeshare condos.
  • Easter basket is filled with menthol cigarettes
  • Hides five eggs and the body of a drifter

Lewis Black whines about Bill Clinton and George Bush (He isn't funny, but he is non-partisan!)

What are Tom Hanks's five favorite movies?

Wherefore Art Thou, Gnomeo?

  • "Miramax Films has announced an exclusive deal with Sir Elton John's Rocket Pictures to develop and produce Gnomeo and Juliet, an animated twist on Shakespeare's classic tale set in the world of tacky garden gnomes"

The good news: free elk meat.

  • The bad news: "The elk were culled from herds this winter after 56 tested positive for brucellosis, a bacterial disease that can spread to livestock."

Life Size Chocolate Rooms

Home Depot has started a new sports-themed paint line which allow customers to buy paint in the exact colors of their favorite professional and college sports teams

Scientist develops robot snakes

  • Thank God. I was wondering how long biological snakes would be forced to do all the dirty work.
  • This could add another five years to Samuel L Jackson's career.
  • The big question - can they still slither at 30,000 feet?

Porn star will appear nude on Saturday Night Live this Saturday.

  • “We’re nude in the skit, but I’m told that they will pixilate our private parts to avoid any censorship problem,” explained Samson. “Some of the other girls had a problem with the nudity and the nature of the skit. And when they asked me if I had any problem with it, I told them ‘I’m Savanna Samson…I’ve done a lot of licking in my life.'

Whatever happened to ... popular American Idol also-rans

How to Insult Foreign People

Giant Rabbit - three feet long, weighs 22 pounds

Actor Tom Cruise says his Catholic-born fiancee, actress Katie Holmes, has joined him as a follower of the "Church" of Scientology

"Manliness" Author Harvey C. Mansfield Accused Of Throwing Like A Girl

Best legal defense ever

  • "Joseph 'Donald' Scordato offered a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public.
    'That's not possible,' the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest in September. 'I don't have a penis.' "

Brian Doyle: Homeland Security Official - Ask the White House (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

An International Trailer for the remake of The Omen (opens 06/06/06)

  • Man with foreign accent: "Vell, ve are havink der good news und der bad news. Der good news ist God hass geeven you a son. Der bad news is - he's der Antichrist, und you vife has been fuckink mit der Satan."
  • Y'know, if he's the freakin' Antichrist, I'm not sure the "God has given you a son" cliche would apply in this case.

Only in England would there be a Royal and Ancient Internet Act of 1677.

Google Calendar is now live.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

"Mrs. Henderson Presents"

Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) is a show business musical based on the actual Windmill Theater in Soho, which convinced the Lord Chamberlain to permit female nudity on stage as long as the women didn't move. The argument was that the motionless women on stage were no different than a Botticelli in the Royal Museum. Started by Mrs. Henderson after her husband died, leaving her quite well off, it was directed by Vivian Van Damm. The theater refused to shut down during the blitz in WW II. As it was below ground, they argued it was safe. Once more, they had continuous performances.

The film chronicles the history of the theater, as well as a relationship between Mrs. Henderson and Vivian Van Damm. Both were headstrong. Mrs. Henderson was filthy rich, and not overly blessed with awareness or tact.Van Damm, for his part, was a professional, but perhaps a little too stuffy. The two main roles were performed by two giants, Judy Dench and Bob Hoskins, and they owned the parts.

Much of the film shows actual production numbers, and includes the tableau nudity. Kelly Reilly was the star of the shows, and the other women, while equally naked, were mostly shown in groups, and had very little substance in their roles. Everyone did full frontal and rear in medium long shots, and close up breast shots.

IMDb readers say 7.1. Ebert and Berardinelli agree on 3.5 stars. It was nominated for numerous acting awards. The film moves effortlessly from humorous to poignant, and had me spellbound. This is in the top ten movies that I have seen from 2005. B.


Group



Kelly Reilly




 



Today, from a not so hot movie called "Harvest of Fear", we have a nice topless Dawn Pavlonnis running around the woods from a killer. Alas, he caught her and when we see her next she is still topless, but she is also on a slab in the morgue.


Dawn Pavlonnis


A little bonus from "AXE", Darlena Tejeiro shows cleavage and then becomes a "Babe in Bondage". Darlena reminds me of a chubby Denise Richards look-a-like.


Darlena Tejeiro




'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Satanic"
Some nice plot twists are featured in this 2006 horror flick, but at the end of the day, what we wind up with is a fairly lame B-movie. Of course, that also means some nice looking women and some decent nudity.

A young woman and her father are involved in a terrible traffic accident. He dies, and Michelle is saved only after months of reconstructive surgery. She has no real recollection of the accident or the events leading up to it, nor even of her parents. After rehabilitation, she is sent to a halfway house, because she has no relatives, has a record for trying to stab her father's girlfriend, and is suspected of having something to do with causing the accident. When she is taken to her house to collect her things, she finds books of satanic rituals and worship, but she doesn't remember anything about them.

At the halfway house, she meets three other teens, all troubled due to drugs or other problems. The place is run by a married couple whose only real interest is the money they get from the state, plus what the wife can make by stealing the kid's things and selling it on eBay.

During her stay, Michelle is constantly troubled by bad dreams including dreams of her dead father, and satanic rituals. Eventually, things turn rather nasty for the inhabitants of the house.

The plot and storyline aren't bad, but the rest is B-movie dumbness all the way. Still, it kept me entertained.


Annie Sorell Eliza Swenson Priscilla Jones



In the immortal words of Monty Python..."and now for something completely different". From UC99, here is Dagmar Wöhrl going full frontal in scenes from "Die Stoßburg" (1973). Why is this interesting? Well, besides the fact that she was also Miss Germany in 1954, she is also the Secretary of State at the German Ministry of Economics and Technology!

From Vejiita, here is Jennifer Blanc showing off full dorsal nudity, as well as a littl bit of breast in a shower scene from 1997's "Dead Men Can't Dance".

Roxane Mesquida also in a shower scene. This time we see mostly toplessness in these Vejitta 'caps from the French movie, "Les Vagues" (2005).

From the Skin-man...here is "The Ring" and "King Kong" star Naomi Watts showing a bit of breast and bum in scenes from "Ellie Parker" (2005).


Pat's comments in yellow...

WOMEN JUDGE MEN IN UNDER 30 SECONDS
Tip For Guys: "Breath Mint" - Prof. Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire found that women make up their minds about potential partners a lot faster than men do, and men are more thoughtful than they get credit for. Wiseman put 100 singles through 10 speed dates. He found that 45 percent of women decided to accept or reject a date in under 30 seconds, while only 22 percent of men made up their minds that fast. Most men wanted more time to think about it. Wiseman said men are painted as shallow, but it turned out women are twice as likely to make snap judgments of others, which means men have only a few seconds to make a good impression.

* So wear something that impresses a woman immediately, like a necktie that lights up, or a really funny T-shirt.
* Before a man makes a commitment, he wants to take the time to really get to know what the woman looks like naked.
* Women have to decide fast: they aren't gonna waste more than 30 seconds off their biological clocks.


DRINKING IN BARS LEGAL AGAIN IN TEXAS
That Email Was Just The Booze Talking - After being hit with a nationwide backlash, including an email suggesting they "die in a fire," the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has stopped sending agents to arrest people for getting drunk in bars, even if they weren't planning to drive. Bars in the Dallas suburb of Irving reported business down 30 to 40 percent and conventions were being canceled. With the Texas Legislature about to reconsider their budget, a TABC spokesman said they won't end the program, but will pull back until they decide how best to proceed.

* They may stop busting people for drinking in public bars and start busting them for exposing themselves in public restrooms.
* From now on, they will only arrest people in bars that Texas Legislators don't frequent.
* You can't smoke or drink in bars anymore, so I guess people just go there for the dart tournaments.

NOTE FROM PAT! The TABC are morons. Our neighborhood recently tried to get a "Beer To Go" store shut down. The TABC rejected us, ruling that a drive-thru liquor store was a "neighborhood improvement." So they think it's unacceptable to drink in bars, but it's great to hand cases of booze to drivers who don't even get out from behind the wheel. The TABC is proof that you don't need liquor to suffer brain damage.