Caligula (1979) is a film I did in the R version several years ago, and never bothered with the full X rated version. For those who have never heard of it, or don't remember the story behind the film, it was produced by Bob Guccioni, and based on what passes for historical accounts of Caligula Caesar. He hired Tinto Brass, and managed to assembled some then great, and future great performers for the lead roles, such as Helen Mirren, Malcolm McDowell, Teresa-Ann Savoy, Peter O'Toole, and John Gielgud. After principle photography was completed, he decided it needed more sex, so shot a bunch of hard core footage, resulting in a 150 minute film depicting gore and explicit sex.

There is entirely too much nudity for one night, so I will have part two tomorrow with the plot summary and my reactions. Tonight, we have Theresa-Ann Savoy completely naked, including gyno shots, as Caligula's sister and lover, Mirella D'Angelo showing everything as a virgin bride, raped by Caligula, just before he fists her groom, and Adrianna Asti showing breasts in her daily sperm bath.

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  • Adriana Asti (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Mirella D'Angelo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Theresa-Ann Savoy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Some rare .wmv's:

    • This is Leelee Sobieski in L'Idole. This film has never appeared in North America except at a few film festivals, so very few have seen this clip of Leelee stark naked.
    • Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny. Never seen in North America. This is actually from an Asian trailer, but you will see Chloe topless. Still no sign of the BJ clip.(The one on the web is bogus. Looks nothing like her. Is Elisabeth Cavallotti, if I remember right.)
    • Elizabeth Berridge topless in Amadeus. This scene was re-added for the recent reissue and is seen on the director's cut DVD, but was not in the movie when it was shown theatrically in the 80s.




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.



    The Citizen Kane of celebrity nudity - a movie so enjoyable you don't even get irritated by Hugh Grant.

    Various .avi clips

    Various .wmv clips


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    The latest batch of paparrazi edits...

    'Caps and comments by C2000:

    "The Human Stain"
    The film really screwed the nudity fans. Kidman spent a long time topless but showed very little and the scenes were too dark to get decent caps from. Some of Barrett's topless scene is blurred because they focused on the mirror and the striptease was shot from a distance but she's very cute.

    • Nicole Kidman, partial exposure only, but hey, it's Nicole :-P (1, 2, 3)

    • Jacinda Barrett, the Aussie born actress and former "Real World" babe goes topless and full frontal. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Rebecca Romjin-Stamos
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
    Rie Rasmussen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Flautista takes a very thorough look at the Brian De Palma film "Femme Fatale" (2002). Here we see Rebecca Romjin-Stamos (soon to be Stamos free!) doing her sexy dance in black undies, full frontal under water, and making out with a topless Rie Rasmussen.

    Elizabeth Hurley The always sexy Liz wearing a very low-cut dress. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Anne Brochet
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the French actress topless and showing rear nudity in scenes from "Dust" (2001).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Dare To Be Stupid - Britney Spears' representatives are pitching TV networks on a proposed reality series called "OnTourage." It would be a six-week series showing what happens offstage with Britney, her band and her back-up dancers during her steamy "Onyx Hotel Tour." Britney would narrate and even carry a digital camera to record her adventures. They describe it as a cross between MTV's "The Real World" and Madonna's "Truth Or Dare."

  • And a gay porn movie.
  • As in, "I DARE you to torture yourself watching this."
  • The reality it will show is that Britney makes Jessica Simpson look like a National Merit Scholar.
  • Maybe it will finally solve the mystery of why someone who lip-synchs to records needs a live band.

    Hope That's A Deposit Bottle - Donald Trump cut a new deal with NBC to double his fee to $100,000 an episode for "The Apprentice." Meanwhile, whomever he picks tomorrow for a $250,000-a-year job running a Trump company will be served the world's most expensive cocktail. Trump's World Bar sells the "You're Hired" cocktail for $1,000. It's made with $6,000-a-bottle L'Esprit de Courvoisier. There's also a "You're Fired" cocktail of bourbon, Cointreau, lemon juice and grenadine. It's $10.

  • But you'd probably better just order a Schlitz.
  • Drink three of those, and you're fried.
  • The $1,000 cocktail will be deducted from the winner's salary.
  • Would YOU hire someone to run your business who'd drink a $1,000 cocktail?
  • So the big winner get a job that pays in one year what Trump makes in 2 1/2 hours?