"¿De qué se ríen las mujeres?"
¿De qué se ríen las mujeres? (1997) is a Spanish musical comedy with roughly the same style of humor as I Love Lucy. The English title is What Makes Women Laugh. The tale is narrated by a 17 year old boy. He father is a writer, his mother and three aunts comediennes, and his grandfather has just married a girl of 20. His father is run over by a car trying to pick up a chick a the wedding. His mother is crestfallen and carries his ashes everywhere, speaking to his ghost. The ghost is encouraging her to find someone else, but she will have none of it until she finds his little black book, and realizes what he had been up to. Se resolves not only to find someone new, but to learn how to have sex without love.
One of her sisters is having a long term affair with a married man, and the other is a man hater and wants to be a stage actress. Verónica Forqué, as the mother, shows a breast trying to seduce a man. Yolanda Ventura, as the 20 year old grandmother, shows breasts at the beach. IMDb readers have it at 6.0. It is well photographed, and has pace, but I didn't much like the style of comedy, and the plot was not all that interesting either. It is in Spanish with optional English subtitles. The letterboxed transfer was well done, but there are no special features. It seems to have had a theatrical release in Spain, but I could find no reviews, and there are only 31 votes at IMDb. This is a C-. If you enjoy this style of comedy, it is technically sound.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Suspect Zero (2004):|
The basic premise of the film is not too difficult to
describe for those who know films. Imagine a re-make of SE7EN in
which John Doe kills people not because of the imagined "sins" they
have committed, but because they have committed crimes of
unimaginable magnitude, like the serial killing of lost children. As
in SE7EN, we have two cops chasing after a criminal who is deranged
but also much smarter than they are. As in SE7EN, the criminal
leaves behind convoluted or cryptic clues that lead the cops on a
chase to other victims or to the master criminal. As in SE7EN,
the cops discover grisly details by using flashlights in dark rooms.
As in SE7EN, the psychotic criminal mastermind is played by a
distinguished actor (in this case Sir Ben "Gandhi" Kingsley).
Simple enough. Our master criminal seems to be the
garden-variety movie psycho when we see him assembling long lists of
seemingly random numbers and bizarre sketches of brutal crimes, but
he differs from the guy in SE7EN in two critical ways.
First, he is not merely smart, but also has some
super-human powers. He is one of five people who were recruited by
the FBI in a top secret program to harness the power of ESP in
apprehending serial killers. You never heard of it? Hey, I told you it
was top secret. In fact, Gandhi has more than simple psychic
abilities. We see that he seems to be able to place some thoughts
into the mind of a receptive FBI guy, and in a few instances we
see that his charcoal sketches predict the future. This makes the premise much harder to buy into than
SE7EN's. In the Fincher movie, we only had to believe in a crazy
guy who was very smart. Not that much of a stretch. In this movie,
we had to believe in all sorts of pseudo-science and supernatural
humbug which took Suspect Zero out of the plane of grotesque crime
thrillers and into horror film territory.
Second, our killer may be crazy, but he is a
genuine do-gooder who is demonstrably helping humanity. After all,
he is a serial killer of serial killers. If you think about it, we
probably could use more guys like this. One of the FBI guys
doesn't even want to bring him in, and the baddie, in turn, leads
that agent to the all-time career plum - a single-handed collar of
ultimate serial killer, a guy who has kidnapped, tortured, and
killed hundreds of innocent children.
Frankly, the film gets a bit convoluted around the
middle of the film. There are regular serial killers, then the
master serial killer called Suspect Zero, then the serial killer who
only kills other serial killers. Even with a straightforward
narrative style this film could have been confusing, but as told
here, with all sorts of gimmicky shifts in POV represented by
different types of non-traditional visuals (certain scenes are in
red and white, other scenes are deliberately grainy), it could get
irritating. The camera lingers on demented drawings, or on visions
inside Gandhi's head, or maybe the FBI agent's head. There are
gothic camera angles, purposefully underlit scenes, fast cuts,
surreal visions, and just a whole lot of stylized stuff which didn't advance the
film forward. There were a lot of times when my mind was wandering
and I was just plain uninterested in the static way the story was
being revealed. I didn't really snap in and start to get involved
until the film was down to its last ten minutes. In other words, the
story offers none of the traditional pleasure of a crime mystery, of
solving the crime along with the detectives, because everything is
deliberately obfuscated by a baffling use of a technique so hip and
aloof that it simply forces the audience to wait until everything is
explained. I guess they call this "over-directing" in film school.
I'm now pretty sure that I understand who was killing whom and why,
but I was confused as the story unfolded. That is to say I was
confused when I wasn't just plain bored.
I'm still confused on some details.
- Suspect Zero's bodies. I thought for some
reason that his deliberately random method meant that the bodies
were scattered through the USA in random places, but at the end of
the movie they all seemed to be buried on his farm in offbeat
graves marked like Indian burial mounds.
- Suspect Zero's apprehension. I'm not completely
sure why Ben Kingsley wanted the FBI to bring in the master serial
killer. With all the other serial killers, Kingsley was perfectly
content to do the work himself. I guess that he was giving a
career back to the disgraced FBI agent in the hope that the agent
would, in turn, kill him and release him from the suffering of a
life which took place inside the heads of serial murderers. I
guess. Frankly, I'm not clear on this.
- The agent's future. It seems that the disgraced
FBI agent (Aaron Eckhart) is the same kind of super-psychic as
Gandhi, although his ability is not yet full developed. Is this
good or bad? Will that,
in turn, make him just as crazy as Gandhi in time, or will he now
become an FBI super-stud.
- What the hell was Carrie-Anne Moss doing in
this film? There was an unconvincing explanation for her presence
in the film in the first place. The film starts with the disgraced
agent demoted from Dallas to Albuquerque because he failed to
follow procedure. Back at the time of that failed collar, he had
been teamed with a female agent
who was also his lover. All of a sudden, the female agent turns up
in Albuquerque to join him on his latest case. Why would the
agency do that? They had a sour romantic history and had botched
their last job together! So I didn't believe the justification for
Carrie-Anne's presence in New Mexico, but then once she arrived
she served absolutely no purpose. She did comment once in a while
that the other agent was acting illogically, but the bureau chief
was already tending to that responsibility, so Carrie was
redundant. The love story was never developed, which was just as
well, since there was no good way to fit it into the film. If
the script had completely cut the female agent from the picture,
it would have lost absolutely nothing except one more unnecessary
sub-plot in an already muddled script.
You may not know that this film is an important
contributor to film history, at least in an indirect way. The
original script by Zak Penn (X2) was really the talk of the town
back in the mid nineties when it was the object of a studio bidding
war. Universal bought it for some serious cash and Tom Cruise wanted
to star in it. In fact, this is the very film Cruise was going to do
when Kubrick talked him into donating the next two years of his life
to Eyes Wide Shut. Cruise still liked the script well enough to
agree to produce the film, although it languished in production
limbo for years. At various times, the Hollywood rumor mill reported
that some real heavyweights like Richard Friedenberg (A River Runs
Through It) and Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull) did
rewrites. Ain't It Cool News reported that Ben Affleck was asked to
do a re-write (remember that in the late nineties Affleck was a
struggling actor with a screenwriting Oscar). AICN's version of the
story was that Affleck looked at the project and said he would agree
to star and co-produce, but that there was no need to do a re-write
if Penn's original script was used! AICN's Moriarty also read Penn's
script and agreed with Affleck, so two more guys seemed to jump on
the bandwagon which should have departed four years earlier when
Penn's original version had been one of the hottest scripts in town.
Frankly, I'm fuzzy on the details of the story
after that. Tom Cruise is still listed as the executive producer,
and the only screenwriting credits go to Zak Penn and Billy Ray. If
Penn's original script was so good, it did not manage to emerge
unscathed from the effects of Ray's rewrites and the highly stylized
direction. The final film is mediocre at best, despite the $27
million production budget. The producers were obviously well aware
of the film problems, because after waiting for seven years to film
the movie, they waited another two years before releasing it. The
script was sold in May of 1995, the re-written film was shot in
mid-2002, and the final product finally appeared on 1,500 movie
screens in August of 2004, at which time it debuted with a three
million dollar weekend, and disappeared soon thereafter.
This film had me stopping the DVD constantly to
eat or to work on something else. It was just boring and meandering.
Many talented people tried but could not make a good film from this
And yet I can't help thinking that there was a
good film buried somewhere deep inside of it ...
... perhaps in that neglected original
'Tis a mystery to me because if Penn's script was so good in
the first place, why did so many people keep insisting on rewrites
before it could get produced? Subsumed within that major issue
was the question of why anyone was willing to commit $27 million to the script in
its current condition, because it had so many obvious problems (the
completely unnecessary Carrie-Anne Moss character, for example).
This is a routine by-the-numbers STV "erotic thriller" with
Kristy Swanson as a potential murder victim and Stephen Baldwin as
the cop assigned to protect her. Baldwin has a beautiful wife at
home, but you know how it is. He ends up having sex with Kristy
The actual murder mystery is solved about five minutes in! The
main suspect is in custody, breaks free and proves that he is the
psycho killer. End of mystery. The only real suspense, if I may
use that word generously, involves whether the psycho can get to
Kristy while she has a 24 hour police guard. There are a few
half-hearted red herrings, but they seem totally irrelevant given
that the murderer is already identified. Frankly, I don't know why
Baldwin was getting suspicious of other people. What the hell was
he suspecting them of?
I know what it must have been. It reminds me of one time in
Utica, New York when a police officer was threatening to arrest me
and my friend because he received a complaint that two suspicious
looking men were walking through town (we were looking for a good
place to hitchhike). We didn't look all that suspicious. We were
wearing suitcoats and ties! We asked him what our crime was, and
he said he would arrest us "on suspicion". "Suspicion of being
specious characters?", we asked. Boy, did that guy get mad when we
started making fun of him. Anyway, I think that officer has now
retired and is acting as the consultant to Stephen Baldwin.
Since Kristy Swanson stays fully dressed in her big sex scene
with Baldwin (she has gained a lot of weight), this film would be
a complete waste of time except that someone had the foresight to
get Gladise (Gladys) Jimenez to do her first nudity since 1999 in
the thankless part of the wife at home. The beautiful
Puertoriquena has been working on soap operas and "Tremors" since
then, so she's had everything covered up for years. She's ba-a-ack!
- Gladise Jimenez (1,
- Kristy Swanson (1,
- unknowns in the closing credits (1,
MrTwig now has the new SouthPark episode: "The Death fo Eric
Tom DeLay says the GOP's 'Contract With America' ranks right up
there with the Magna Carta, Declaration of Independence and Bill
of Rights among the 'great documents of freedom.'
Very HQ pics of Jessica Simpson in a pink bikini (as Daisy Duke).
"Bono would make an excellent candidate for pope." Ya,
know, I think I'd be a great Pope. I have a really large head
and a thick neck, and could easily wear those giant hats. Plus,
I'm a big fan of the Cardinals.
Three newly-discovered species of slime mold beetles named Bush,
Cheney, and Rumsfeld.
Elle Macpherson caught topless by paparazzi.
Urban legend: "In accordance with a requirement of their
original Royal Charter, the Hudson's Bay Company of Canada makes
annual payments of elk and beaver pelts to the Queen of England.
" Status: False, but with an interesting back story:
- "Actually, the Hudson's Bay Company's original charter did
call for them to provide two elk heads and two beaver pelts to
royalty, but only when said royalty came to the Rupert's Land
area of Canada, not as an annual payment. This "tradition" has
been observed on three occasions when royalty travelled to
Canada, all of them in the twentieth century: a visit by King
George VI in 1939, and visits by Queen Elizabeth II in 1959
and 1970. On the last occasion, however, the queen was not
presented with any heads or pelts but with live animals, which
she donated to a Winnipeg zoo. "
Letterman's "Top Ten Good Things About Turning 58"
Applications to the top MBA programs have dropped almost 30%
overall since 1998, with some schools experiencing declines of
50% or more
Collect Britain presents 90,000 images and sounds from the
Discography - lyrics to all the songs of that beloved,
sentimental band, Anal Cunt. No worry about these
guys being too PC.
Glass Curtain Gallery Archives. An art exhibit in
Chicago features mock-ups of U.S. stamps - including one with a
gun to the President's head!
- This week's movie reviews:
The Amityville Horror. There are only seven reviews
in so far, but they are quite positive!!
This week's theater count - no major releases this
week except The Amityville Horror, which will be on more than
Teenage boy desperate to get head. "A 17-year-old
Morrisville youth was being held on $100,000 bail after police
said he raided a tomb in a cemetery and removed a head from a
Harvard Professor Accused Of Trying To Steal Manure From Farmer
Here's the trailer for Apres Vous. bas/haut debit
means low/high bandwidth (literally "flow"), bande annonce is
the French expression for trailer.
- French Comedy: "Antoine saves Louis from hanging himself,
though in his attempt to get Louis back on his feet, Antoine
gets caught in a romantic triangle."
- Headline of the day comes from from CNN:
Alex Trebek sued over missing horse. Trebek claims
the missing horse is pushin' up the daisies. Story itself is
kinda boring. Talk about beating a dead horse.
- No link here, just useful movie esoterica from my mailbox:
"I'm not sure if you've reviewed Jet Li's Hero but if you
haven't seen it yet, there is something important you should
know. The symbol that Broken Sword writes down is very poorly
translated. Instead of 'Our Land,' it should read 'All Under
Reviewers slammed the ending of this movie because the
mistranslation makes it look like a defense of imperialism. It
is in fact about the choice of Nameless to follow Broken Sword
and his choice not to kill. It is this challenge that Nameless
lays before Shih Chin Tu'an Ti."
The website of MST3000's Michael J Nelson, who is one of the
funniest writers in the world. I have read and
enjoyed his book Movie Magacheese. He has also written two other
books which I have not read.
Something Awful reviews "1 Night in China"
- "Do I really need to paint you a picture on this one? A
giant woman who looks and sounds like a man with breast
implants has a three inch long clitoris. I think this one is
about as clear cut as it gets barring a snuff film review."
We also reviewed this fine film.
The LED Electronic Scrolling Belt Buckle. With a
video demonstration. Good potential to sell advertising:
- Over six billion served
- Have you seen SE7EN yet?
- A taste of paradise
- Live in your pants. Play in mine.
- Let your fingers do the walking
- Reach out and touch someone
- Keeps going and going and going.
- Now You're Playing With Power!
- It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
- Sometimes you feel like a nut.
- Where's the beef? Right here.
- It's not just for breakfast anymore.
- Race for the honey-nutty taste
Jackson Accuser's Mother Pleads the Fifth. Jackson's
attorneys tried to prevent this, but I disagree with their
reasoning. This actually does them a great favor. Having a
witness plead the fifth has a completely different meaning in
terms of legal technicalities than it does to juries. To legal
scholars, it is a way of protecting one's right and avoiding the
possibility of admitting guilt. To a jury, it's WORSE than
admitting guilt. It says to a juror, "I am a complete scumbag
guilty of far worse things than even the opposing attorneys can
imagine, and anything I say should be completely discounted."
IDAHO HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29 - commending Napoleon
Dynamite This is for real - at least in the sense
that it is really on the website of the Idaho Statutes and
- WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film, thus
promoting Idaho's most famous export
- WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to
- WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food
group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry
- WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the
importance of physical education in Idaho public schools
- WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or
the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose
to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN'
Randy Quaid and Jack Nicholson may team up again for a sequel to
1973's The Last Detail. The sequel, "Last Flag
Flying", will pick up with the characters 30 years later. The
article says that the author of the novel The Last Detail has
already written the follow-up novel, but it doesn't seem to have
been published yet.
Justin Timberlake's latest movie is set for a series of reshoots,
because it's based on a real-life fugitive - and he has now been
arrested. Or at least that's the reason they are
giving for the re-shoots. Either that, or they finally watched
what they had shot.
Jennifer Lopez has revealed that she loves cleaning house.
I don't know. She doesn't do that good a job on my house, but
maybe that is a different Jennifer Lopez.
Joaquin Phoenix has checked himself in to a rehab clinic for
treatment of alcoholism.
Weekly World News: "HOW TO HAVE UNINHIBITED OUT-OF-BODY SEX WITH
ANYONE YOU LIKE -- WITHOUT THE MESS . . . IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR
OWN MIND! " I'm pretty sure that all teenage boys
already know this technique.
Bruce Willis was made an officer in France's Order of Arts and
Letters and, interestingly enough, this also makes
him commander-in-chief of their armed forces, so their
surrendering days are over.
German Cardinal emerges as favorite in Papal Pageant.
But I think it's all going to boil down to the swimsuit
Jon Stewart reveals new political gigs in 'Where are They Now
and Who Were They Again?'
The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert explores a new kind of
prejudice against a new kind of 'person of color' - tattooed
Byron York talks to Jon Stewart about 'The Vast Left Wing
Conspiracy,' revealing that a press pass can get you
a long way.
President Bush's iPod: The Complete Playlist (Dude,
it's a joke)
Is "www" in Hebrew equal to 666?
A previously unpublished poem by Tennessee Williams, described
as having been 'written out of absolute, complete despair,' has
been discovered in his "blue book" from a college course
examination in 1937.
Celebrities go for 'esoteric' books: "Annual 'Who
Reads What' list released"
"KIM JONG-IL AGREES TO GIVE UP NUKES IN EXCHANGE FOR ANGELINA
JOLIE." Bush Blasts Proposal as "Indecent"
"You have reached what we think is the Internet's largest
gallery of before and after images of breast surgery"
A SIGNED photo of Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, was beaten
at a charity auction by a pile of DUNG. (And it
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the teen sex-comedy, "The Girl Next Door". The nudity comes from Amanda Swisten and Sung Hi Lee. Former "24" star Elisha Cuthbert looks very sexy in several revealing outfits, including some thong views and parital side/rear breast views.
- Amanda Swisten and Sung Hi Lee
- Amanda Swisten and Sung Hi Lee zipped .wmv
- Elisha Cuthbert
- Elisha Cuthbert zipped .wmvs
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Malibu Spring Break"
If you're a producer about to make a cheapie direct-to-video spring break chicks-everywhere-in-various-stages-of-undress flick, I have just one request: PLEASE find someone to shoot it who knows how to focus a camera. These flicks are dumb, lame, and brainless fun, but it's so frustrating that they can never come up with a sharp product. With modern digital video equipment, it's pretty much a no-brainer, which speaks volumes for the guys shooting this stuff.
2003's Malibu Spring Break is typical of this genre (including, unfortunately, not a sharp frame in the whole film): Two friends from Arizona come to Malibu for spring break, stay at Uncle's place, and raise hell and party as Uncle goes out of town.
Tons of scantily clad good looking young women, some nudity, no brains, very little script, just plenty of fun except for the crappy movie quality, even on DVD. I hate to think what the VHS print might look like. It's a shame, because cheap doesn't automatically mean a crappy picture, but in this case.....it does.
|Johnny Moronic takes a look at the Spanish movie "El Otro lado de la cama" aka "The Other Side of the Bed" (2002). "Spanglish" co-star Paz Vega is topless and Verbeke strips down to her black undies, shows plenty of cleavage, plus a bit of breast exposure as well as brief views of her bum and pubes.
|Kitt 'caps of the young and busty Preston showing plenty of cleavage and going topless in scenes from "Secret Admirer" (1985).
||Bird 'caps of the Vietnamese fitness babe showing off her big ol' robo-hooters. She has co-starred in an adult film or two using the name 'Christina'. Most notably, 1998's "Public Perversions".
||Vejiita 'caps of the Aussie actress and co-star of "Man on Fire", "Finding Neverland" and "Pitch Black". Here she is baring just a bit of nipple duing a lesbian love scene with Ally Sheedy in scenes from "High Art" (1998).
|Señor Skin takes a look at the Sci-Fi/Horror/Comedy flick "Frog-g-g!" (2004). Commercial and Infomercial babe Russell gets topless and also shows a hint of pubes (#7) and a bit of bum (#9). Russell and Shaffer also spend some time topless in bed together.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
SLOW NEWS DAY LEAD: BRITNEY SPEARS PREGNANT
That Explains The 100-Pound Weight Gain - After weeks of denying rumors and
dodging questions, Britney Spears confirmed on her website last night that
she is pregnant. She wrote that "the time has finally come to share our
wonderful news" that she and Kevin Federline are expecting their first
Well...HER first child.
This proves that at least some small part of Kevin Federline actually
The baby is expected to be born drooling and incoherent, but still
smarter than both its parents.
STONES TO TOUR ONE MORE TIME
Saying Goodbye Longer Than Cher - 43 years after playing their first gig,
the Rolling Stones announced plans for a tour that will start in Boston in
August and run for at least a year. The London Sun said despite all the
jokes about their wrinkles, they're still a great live band, but this will
probably be their final tour. The combined age of the four regular band
members is 242 years.
That's 3,000 in rock star years.
That's also the combined age of the last dozen women Mick Jagger's slept
These days, when Mick says, "Start me up," the roadies pull out the
Why should age stop Mick Jagger from touring? Death didn't stop Keith
Richards from touring for the past 25 years.
HIP-HOP MAG SUED FOR SEXISM
Ho Ho Ho! - Two female executives of the #1 hip-hop magazine The Source
filed sexual harassment charges with the EEOC, claiming they could no
longer endure the culture of sexism in the office. Among their charges:
that female employees were touched and sexually propositioned; males were
allowed to put up posters of women in G-strings, smoke pot and do inferior
work and not get fired; and a male subordinate once saw one of the women
eating a lollipop and offered to give her "something to suck on."
CEO/rapper Raymond "Benzino" Scott called the charges "crazy" and said he
Yeah, those bitches are just crazy ho's!
Hip-hop, sexist? Absurd! Next, they'll be claiming that bagpipe music
There was also the office dress code that required all women to dress
like 'Li'l Kim.
That guy must've thought the lollipop looked much too big to fit in her
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S CHILD-REARING TIP
Conan The Disciplinarian - Maria Shriver revealed to Oprah Winfrey that her
husband Arnold Schwarzenegger has a strict method of dealing with their
four kids when they don't do their laundry and leave their dirty clothes on
the floor. She said he goes around, picks their clothes up, and either
hides them or throws them in the fire. Either way, she said, "They don't
get them back."
And if they value their feet, they'd better not EVER put them on the
Likewise, cars left in "No parking zones" in California are now blown
Michael Jackson also burns clothes kids leave on the floor, but just to
destroy the DNA evidence.
ANISTON TAKES BLAME FOR BREAK-UP
He Was No Ross - Jennifer Aniston finally talked about the breakup of her
marriage, taking most of the responsibility. She said Brad Pitt is a kind,
sweet goofball who "accepted me with all of my crap and dysfunction," but
she always felt inferior to him, and being married to him made her feel
Next time, she'll marry someone who's less pretty than she is.
So her next husband will be mean and overcontrolling.
It takes a strong ego to be with Brad Pitt, which explains Angelina
TYSON TO FIGHT AGAIN
One Crazy Mother - Tuesday, Mike Tyson announced that he would return to
the ring for the first time in nearly a year, to fight journeyman boxer
Kevin McBride on June 11. Tyson promised, "It's going to be a train
wreck." He said he expects to be fighting for "a long time" to pay off his
$30 million debt and take care of his children, three of whom sat with him
at the press conference. He added, "I feel like Mr. Mom."
He looked more like "Mr. Dad-GummitThisGuy'sCrazy!"
Aren't ALL of Mike Tyson's fights these days train wrecks?
He doesn't want to get into the ring anymore, but hey, a man's gotta
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