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Funny Money
Funny money; unfunny movie. Ridiculous "comedy of errors" starring Chevy Chase
as a boring suburban husband (he makes wax fruit for a living) whose life changes instantly and dramatically when
his briefcase is accidentally switched with an identical one containing five
million dollars in cash. He decides to keep it, and to flee the country
immediately. Needless to say, the Eastern European mobsters
have his briefcase, which includes enough information to track him down
quickly. The plot thickens still further when the courier for the mob is
killed while in possession of Chevy's briefcase, thus leading the police to
his house before he has had a chance to leave the country or hide the money.
Chaos ensues; hilarity does not. Chevy has lost his comic
timing. The only redeeming facet of
the film is an occasional glimpse at vast acres of cleavage from Penelope Ann
Miller. No nudity, which is a shame, because Penelope seems to be getting up
there in Mimi Rogers territory when it comes to funbaggage.
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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The Night of 1,000 Cats
The Night of 1,000 Cats (1972) is a Mexican horror offering. It stars Hugo
Stiglitz as a wealthy man with an odd hobby. He stalks women in his helicopter
until they agree to go out with him, and they always do, then he and his mute
butler (Drago) chop their heads off, preserve them in a glass jar, then chop
up and feed their bodies to his collection of 1,000 hungry cats. At least,
that is how it worked before Drago had the bad sense to beat Hugo at chess and
became cat food as well.
At 63 minutes of running time, with at least 20 of them being taken up with
helicopter flights, there wasn't room for a lot of plot or a lot of naked
women, but Christa Linder as the first victim we see shows a breast, buns, and
has serious pokies.
The video quality is poor, the film was likely cut at some point to the
current 63 minutes, and there is nearly no dialogue. What lines there are are
in English. I can't imagine why anyone would want to see this film, even if
the transfer was perfect. As it is, it is an F.
IMDb: in the cellar at 2.7.
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El Camino de los Ingleses
"El Camino de los ingleses" is Antonio Banderas' second effort as a Director after "Crazy in Alabama". The movie is about Miguelito (Alberto Amarilla), a young man bumming around Málaga with a few friends in the 70s. (This
is the time and place where Antonio Banderas grew up.)
In the arty opening scenes, Migelito is on the operating table having a kidney removed, and the near-death experience inspires him to declare that what he really wants in life is to be a poet. Throughout the largely episodic film, everyone in the town refers to his poetic aspirations, though he doesn't get around to actually writing anything. Instead, he obsesses over Dante's "Inferno," romances would-be ballerina Luli (María Ruiz) and hangs around the pool and a local bar interacting with other locals, each with a different nickname. There's a hot chick named "The Body" (Marta Nieto); an aspiring DJ named "Throat" who provides a running, nonsensical voiceover; an aging bombshell called "Iron Helmet" (Victoria Abril); and a toady named "The Dwarf."
Banderas went all over the place with this one. There is almost a
constant voice-over; the main character has many weird daydreams; and the
drama goes way overboard. I guess Banderas will have to wait to see if third time is a
charm.
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Notes and collages
"Farscape" - Part 29
Season Four, Episode 11
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The Last Kiss
This 2006 movie, a remake of a 2001 Italian film, is billed as a
romantic comedy, but it's actually a romantic drama. Oh, there's plenty of
funny stuff, but the theme is deadly serious: the problems we create for
ourselves in relationships, the stupid things men do to the women they
supposedly love, and of course, the often tragic results.
Michael and Jenna have been together for three years. They want to get
married, but Michael is afraid of the commitment, because he watches the
relationships of several married or coupled friends disintegrate before
his eyes, and before the eyes of the viewer.
Things become even more complicated when Jenna becomes pregnant,
increasing the pressure on Michael to marry. At the same time, Michael
meets an attractive and free-spirited college co-ed, who tempts him. He
succumbs, only to realize afterwards that he already had what he wanted,
but now may lose it.
This is a well-done story, with good acting and interesting characters.
For some reason, it didn't do a thing for me, perhaps because it was
obvious to me early on the hole this guy was digging for himself, but the
fact is I think most people will enjoy it.
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Rachel Bilson |
Cindy Sampson |
Lisa MacKay and Patricia Stasiak |
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The Comedy Wire
Tuesday, a Nassau court finally revealed that DNA tests prove Anna Nicole
Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead is the father of her baby daughter,
Dannielynn. Birkhead happily declared, "My baby's going to be coming home
pretty soon." But all those people fighting over what they thought was an
heiress may be surprised: in a Legal Times article, a Georgetown University law
professor explains that Smith's claim on her late husband's millions was always
tenuous and is likely about to be thrown out by the courts. So the baby will
probably inherit nothing but a big pile of legal bills.
* Funniest line we've heard on this subject came from
WWTDD.com, which said that a CSI team examined Smith's house, and when they
turned on that light that makes semen stains glow, you could see her bedroom
from outer space.
Columnist John Tierney reports that a University of Chicago/MIT study of over
20,000 online daters found that, not surprisingly, women are pickier about who
they'll date than men are. Men mainly set a minimum level of physical
attractiveness, but women are less likely to date someone of another race and
care more about a partner's education, profession and income. They also prefer
taller men, but money will compensate for shortness. A 5-foot-8 man was as
successful as a six-footer in getting dates if he made $146,000 a year more.
But a 5-foot-2 man has to earn $277,000 a year more.
* And a 4-foot-10 man has to earn $20 million a picture
to marry Katie Holmes.
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