Basic Instinct 2 (2006):
Just for the sake of completeness, I rounded up all
the deleted scenes from BI2
(These are zipped .mov files, so you need the
basic Quick Time player.)
Deadly Strangers (1974):
Hayley Mills topless!
It's small, and the quality of this
is mediocre at best, but this is the one movie where Hayley whipped 'em
out. (She also showed her bum in The Family Way).
Here are some of Herr Haut's collages from those two
|The Family Way
The Dying Gaul (2005):
A Hollywood producer just has to obtain a hot new script called
The Dying Gaul, which is a tragic love story about how a devoted
homosexual relationship ended with the death of one partner, as
scripted by the other partner. Only one problem - he wants to
produce the film as a tragic hetero love story, and the author is
opposed to making the change. With a combination of charm and lots
of money, the producer manages to convince the author to play ball.
And then they start playing much more than that. Turns out the
producer is bi-sexual, and was already in love with the author after
having read his brilliant, soulful script. Turns out that the
producer's wife is also just about in love with the author who,
after all, did have a wife and kids himself, so he must have some
interest in women, right?
The wife, a brilliant and bored
housewife who used to be a screenwriter herself, decides to engage
in some safe cybersex with the author, all the while hiding behind a
male identity. Of course, as the author confides ever more intimate
secrets to his new online pal, he eventually confesses that he's
having an affair with a certain producer. This comes as shocking news to the
wife, who had no idea that her devoted husband was either unfaithful
or bi-sexual. Rather than confronting the two men with the secret,
she decides to fuck with their heads.
All of that is merely the set-up. Many twists follow.
is an unpleasant movie.
It is also quite good.
- The direction is creative, if a touch on the arty side.
- The acting is excellent. It's essentially a three character
play, and all three actors have plenty of time and the necessary
talent to develop their characters. Campbell Scott, Patricia
Clarkson, and Peter Sarsgaard are all top-notch actors, and all
three were cast perfectly.
- The script is not as good as the execution. The dialogue is
interesting, but the plot seems to have a couple of small
loopholes in its logic. No biggie, though. There's nothing so
illogical that it distracts from the flow of the drama.
Yes, it is quite competent, but it is nas-ty! What makes it so
deeply cynical is that all three characters are basically decent
human beings. Very decent. One might even say that they are all
principled, reasonable, and compassionate. They are virtually drawn
with "decent" signs on their foreheads. This makes it all the more
alarming that they are so willing to hurt one another so deeply, and
that they all suffer so greatly. We are used to seeing evil behavior
from conniving ice-queens and greedy scumbags, and we normally have
no sympathy for the evildoers when they get what's coming to them,
even when it is operatically excessive, but it shocks us to see three of the nicest
people we have ever seen go to the extent of destroying one another over matters
that should never have gone so far, which they should all
have talked out, and which all of them would have been decent enough
to regret greatly in the long run.
In other words, the script
carries the message that we are all, even the most decent of us,
capable of hurting the people we love most when we are hurt. And not just hurting them in the sense of uttering a few
unkind words, but really hurting them in the sense of completely
destroying their lives in the worst ways you can imagine.
The subtext of the film is the Buddhist concept of karma. You get
back what you have coming to you. Ye shall reap what ye have sown. I don't have any problem with that, but it seems to me that the
characters in this film consistently harvested much more pain than
they had sown, and that the harvest kept escalating constantly until
an ending which was downright depressing and over-the-top.
Yup. It's a very sound movie. And I wish I had never watched it.
At one point, the producer character says to the author character, "Nobody goes to
movies to have a bad time." Good advice. The people who made this film did not
heed it. Unsurprisingly, it did nothing in its theatrical
run. The distribution maxed out at 24 screens, and it grossed only
Critical reaction was mixed. 48% positive reviews. Ebert assigned
it 2.5 stars, which seems like the right score to me. I've always
felt that 2.5 out of four means "Too good to pan; but not recommended,
either." That summarizes this film perfectly.
Patricia Clarkson at 45? Has any woman ever done what she has -
becoming a sex symbol after so many years as the next door
neighbor? There are other women who have played sexy roles at age
45, but they were sexy when they were young - Sharon Stone, Kim
Basinger, Barbara Hershey. Beautiful women are expected to start out sexy,
and then the ones with real talent start to play the character
parts as they age. But Clarkson somehow went from the Eve Arden
roles to the Kim Basinger ones, and Eve Arden is not supposed to
turn into Kim Basinger! Throughout Clarkson's youth she was always
the dependable gal-pal with the sensible shoes and a husky voice
which always sounded best delivering wisecracks and sarcasm and
compassionate, well-grounded advice. Now, she appears in the
credits in a white bikini with a semi-transparent top, stays in
that bikini for several minutes of screen time, and does topless
sex scenes. Our Miss Brooks isn't supposed to do that!
is just fine in that role. She looks great in that bikini. Her
tummy is flat and her whole body looks young, slim, and
well-exercised. Her face is not a young woman's face but, hell,
she didn't even have a young women's face when she was young. It
was always one of those "faces with character." Yet her face is
beautiful in its way. She looks much better in moving pictures
than in stills because she's pale and fair-haired and from a
distance she seems to have no eyebrows, so we need to see how she
moves her facial muscles to appreciate the humanity which
underlies her beauty. Her eyes are compassionate, and her face is
exceedingly expressive. It's surprising to me that she has never
become a recognizable name. Then again, given her astounding
reverse career path, she may yet make it.
|Patricia Clarkson. These
are all different frames, but many are quite similar. The
changes in brightness and color are caused by my tinkering.
Weekly World News:
"THE 'BUZZ' ABOUT EVOLUTION ... 'We came from insects not
from apes,' says expert!
Press Briefing by Scott McClellan That is Actually a
Wonderous Fantasmo-Magical Dream Induced by Eating Spicy Tacos
Firefighters respond to blaze at their own firehouse
- "Assistant Chief 'Skippy' Hipp says it's unusual to
have a fire at a fire station, but mistakes happen."
"Pregnant Angelina Jolie and boyfriend Brad Pitt have taken
refuge in a remote Namibian game lodge where wild lions will help protect them
from the media"
A new clip from "La Mujer de Mi Hermano"
"Rowan Atkinson has announced his intention to sign on the
dotted line for upcoming horrorshow Mr Bean 2: The Drivel Continues."
- "There’s always a certain sadness when it comes to
watching Rowan Atkinson ‘do his thing’. There’s always an inevitable mental
cast-back to the beautifully observed performances he gave across four
BlackAdder series. And now? Watching Atkinson play Bean is just like watching
Chaplin star in Dude, Where’s My Car?"
- We "can only assume that something untoward has
happened - that Atkinson has placed a big-stakes wager with Ben Affleck, Cuba
Gooding Jr. and David Icke, simply to see which one of them can amass the
biggest number of staggeringly bad career choices over the course of their
Here is the full list of the Writer's Guild's 101 Greatest
- Do today's writers really believe that Hannah and her
Sisters is one of the 100 greatest scripts of all time, and The Big Lebowski
is not? No wonder today's movies suck.
- They did make some good selections of
under-appreciated films. I don't know if Groundhog Day is really among the
best thirty scripts ever written, but it is nice to see that professional
writers acknowledge it to be a great script, even though it was never
nominated for an Oscar.
Kiefer signs up for three more seasons of pulse-pounding,
Man Gets $218 Trillion Phone Bill.
- Man, he really shouldda switched to MCI. He coudda saved ten trillion dollars!
That's, like, enough to buy England. Maybe they will feature him in a
commercial, standing in front of Buckingham Palace, dreaming of what might
Thanks to Dave Barry's blog for being tasteful enough not
to provide a link to this man's web page
The trailer for Stolen
- "In 1990, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in
Boston suffered the largest art heist in American history, resulting in the
loss of 13 of the world's most famous artworks, worth $300 million, including
pieces from Degas, Rembrandt, and Vermeer's masterpiece 'The Concert.' Not a
single work has been recovered. With an eccentric cast of characters including
a reformed fence nicknamed Turbo, cunning art detective Harold Smith, and
Isabella Stewart Gardner herself, we journey into the mysterious world of
stolen art where conspiracies abound, rumors are left unhinged, and a painting
can change your life forever."
Hi-Res pics of the Martian surface
ABC to Offer Four Shows Online for Free,
including "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost"
Bollywood star jailed for poaching rare Indian gazelles
- "Bollywood superstar Salman Khan was sentenced to
five years in prison after he was convicted of poaching endangered Indian
gazelles almost a decade ago"
- In addition to being jailed, he was (I'm not kidding)
CBS RENAMED "COURIC BROADCASTING SYSTEM"
"GEN Y ACCESSIBLE" REMAKE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS STIRS
CONTROVERSY ... Scene of Moses posting
Commandments on MySpace angers religious groups
Brick, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic
- "Somewhere, a film school is missing the kid who sits
alone in the first row and wears the turtleneck. Holy shit, has there ever
been as academic and masturbatory a movie as Brick that escaped from a
university's film festival? What a boring, pretentious and pointless hunk of
Bomb Iran!!! - to the tune of "Barbara Ann"
RapidShare Video - Maria Bello in A History of Violence
Part 7 of Silent Bob's story of Jay's heroin addiction
It's that time of year again - for the Giant Pink Japanese
- Everyone has his own favorite sign of Spring - The
Masters, Easter, the first robin, the streams swollen with melting snow, March
Madness ... for me, it has to be the first sighting of the Giant Pink Japanese
- "Cabspotting traces San Francisco's taxi cabs LIVE as
they travel throughout the Bay Area. The patterns traced by each cab create a
living and always-changing map of city life."
On The Set Of Silent Hill
Entertainment Weekly's Photo Gallery: Jennifer Aniston
movies: Hits or misses? You decide!
"This Boring Headline Is Written for Google"
Ten video-sharing services compared by Digital Guru
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Long Good Friday (1980)
The Long Good Friday is the prototypical English gangster movie. A mob boss
is about to cement a lucrative deal with the American Mafia when people around
him start dying and buildings start exploding just before he is to enter them.
He is stumped as to why this is happening, but his first priority is to stop
it before the American observer leaves, and before the police can no longer
Helen Mirren was hired for a part that was written as a brainless blonde
bimbo. Before she would take the part, she demanded it be rewritten to make
her a mastermind and kind of second-in-command to the boss. Frankly, she
seemed out of place in a film that was supposed to be dominated by Bob
Hoskins. This is a one-character film, and a brilliant performance by
Hoskins brings that character alive. His Harold Shand makes Marlon Brando's
Don Corleone look like a teddy bear. He runs the London docks with an iron
hand, but even though he is a scrappy fighter, he's proud that he has brought
10 years of peace to the London underworld, and he is a complex character. He
is loyal to his friends, takes care of his mother, and shows compassion for
people on more than one occasion.
IMDb readers say 7.7. (Their Top 250 requires 7.8)
Ebert awards 4 stars.
This is a B.
Pauline Melville shows breasts when Hoskins
breaks in to question the man she is having sex with.
Dann reports on Love on
This 2005 romantic comedy
from Canada, set in the quaint town of Squamish, has more fluff than
stuff, but it's still a fun, lighthearted comedy with a slightly unique
Eve (played by Marla Sokoloff) is a
small-town waitress who also owns the diner, left to her by her mother.
She is in love with Jeff, who she has known all her life, but Jeff thinks
of her as a little sister. Beautiful Linda (Monika Schnarre) from
the big city comes to town to check out the place for possible
development. Jeff immediately falls for Linda, but Linda only has eyes for
Cute comedy, and a pleasant way to spend
(Film clips. Zipped. avis)
Here is Michelle Bauer
in Lust For Freedom, a worthy entry into the "women in prison" genre. I
figured out how Lifetime could broaden its appeal to include anyone with
levels of circulating testosterone above those of, say, Rosie O'Donnell. Get
their women in peril out of their clothes. Sure, sure, have the gals win in
court or have 'em gun down the guy that done them wrong, but get 'em nekkid
first, and we will watch. (Multiple clips zipped together.)
The woman with whom Michelle Bauer is playing nicely
is pornstar Crystal Breeze.
She did several straight roles and was also a body double, using the name Lisa
Marie Stagno. (Multiple clips zipped together.)
Pat's comments in yellow...
David Holmes, a
psychology lecturer at
Manchester Metropolitan University in England, has developed a formula to
determine the perfect female butt: (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. That's shape (S)
or droopiness + how spherical (C) the buttocks are, times bounce (B) +
firmness (F), divided by skin texture (T) or presence of cellulite, equals
V, which is hip-to-waist ratio, or butt symmetry. He tested the formula on
2,000 women and said that "the perfect female derriere has firmness to the
touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft
with flawless skin. Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will
frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly." One caveat: women still preferred
the big, curvy J-Lo butt, while men preferred the tight, firm Kylie Minogue
* He tested 2,000 women's butts for firmness and touchableness? What's
the formula to get this guy's job?!
* Finally, some university research that it's worth spending tax money on!
The Sandwich Counter at Selfridge's department
store in London is offering the world's most expensive sandwich for 85
pounds ($148 US). As you'd expect, it's big, but it's the ingredients that
cost you. It's made with 24-hour-fermented sour dough bread, mayo flavored
with foie gras ($52 a pound) and black truffle ($593 a pound), brie de
meaux (Europe's finest cheese), and Wagyu, an imported Japanese beef that
costs $49 a pound. A top chef who tried it called it the perfect
meal-to-go, if "a bit dribbly," and the perfect hangover food.
* And mighty tasty, with enough ketchup.
* You can supersize it for just $200 more.
Thirty prostitutes in Germany have signed up
for a church-funded training course to become telemarketers. A project
spokeswoman said competition among hookers is fierce, prices have hit
rock-bottom, and "once you hit the thirties," you can't make a decent
living at it. But ex-hookers make good telemarketers ...
* They can screw anyone without it bothering their
TODAY'S BIRTHDAYS - Omar Sharif (74). Trivia: While Sharif is Hollywood's go-to
actor for Arab roles, many Arab Muslims condemn him because he kissed Barbra
Streisand in "Funny Girl."
* Muslim lips are not allowed to touch ham.