"Walking on Water"

Walking on Water (2002) is a highly acclaimed character driven drama from Australia. David Bonney is dying of AIDS, and is being cared for by a friend, Vince Colosimo and his fellow partier and business partner Maria Theodorakis. He has asked that they assist his death, as he wants to die with dignity at home. It is time, and they summon his family (mother, brother, brother's wife and brothers daughter) to be on hand. When the drug they administer doesn't finish him off, Colosimo strangles him with a plastic bag, a fact which only Theodorakis knows. The film is about dealing with loss. Theodorakis ends up in bed with Bonney's brother, and Colosimo also tries sex as a way of dealing with grief, but his boyfriend ends up leaving. Colosimo won't accept Theodorakis having sex with the married brother, and she can't get the image of the plastic bag out of her head.

This is the only film I can think of that has gays as lead characters that is not a gay film. The characters are very believable, and do some very stupid and human things as they try to deal with this death. The acting is top notch. Theodorakis won AFI best actress, which is only one of the five Australian Film Institute awards the film garnered. IMDB readers have it at 6.7 of 10. The few reviews are positive. The DVD is pretty bare bones, with some cast bios, and there is a lot of motion blur. Some scenes are washed out due to back lighting, but there are some good scenics of Sidney. Unfortunately, there is no plot to draw you in, and the basic situation is rather depressing, so I couldn't call it an enjoyable film. It was, however, well written and acted, and does, in fact give some insight into the grieving process. Theodorakis shows breasts in two sex scenes. There is also male nudity (buns). This is a C. IF this is your type of film, it is well enough made that you will like it.

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  • Maria Theodorakis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Wild Things (1998)

    I think you all know what Wild Things is. If you're reading this page and have not seen the movie, get out there and rent it, because it is on our required summer viewing list. Wild Things is to our site as the book To Kill a Mockingbird is to high school.

    There isn't all that much nudity, but it is one of the best guilty pleasure movies of the past decade  - sex, greed, sleaze, humor, sweat, threesomes, lesbian kissing, plot twists up the patoot, comic relief from Bill Murray, and the one and only real look at the Denise Richards chest.

    It is about halfway in between a noir thriller and a parody of noir thrillers. It has so many double crosses that you can't even keep them all straight. In fact, they are still explaining the old ones and adding some new ones in the closing credits. I'm not sure if it really all makes sense, because it's too much of a strain to try to think it all through from the point of view of each of the four main characters who were in on the sting. Perhaps if you watch it a second time knowing all the secrets that everybody knows, some of the characters' actions won't make sense, but I don't think it will bother you very much, if any. I've watched the movie about five times, know all the twists, and still enjoy it.

    In fact, I'm not sure if the excessive plot complications and the bad acting don't just make it all richer somehow, like some kind of massive inside joke that everybody is in on except Denise Richards and Matt Dillon. Usually, actors are hired because they can act, but those two were obviously hired because of the flavor they would act with their bad acting, and I don't suppose anybody actually told them that.

    There is one obvious betrayal of logic in the film. All of the characters keep referring to Neve Campbell's character as "poor, dumb, Suzie", and they all assume she is some kind of illiterate white trash druggie. Yet when the detectives pay her a surprise visit in her trailer, she is reading a copy of Celine's "Death on the Installment Plan". The honest cop even notices what she is reading, so Neve has to pass it off with a glib remark, but neither cop seems to assume that she must be a whole hell of a lot smarter than they thought, and they leave that trailer still thinking of her as poor, dumb, Suzie.

    I think this was supposed to be the tip-off to the alert viewer that the simple-minded swamp rat was really a criminal mastermind, and that's OK. In a good mystery, viewers should be able to participate in the solution process, and truly alert viewers should be able to spot all the clues and deduce the secrets before the director reveals the solution. Keeping all that together without being too obvious is part of the skill necessary to be a mystery writer. But that's only OK if the other characters react the way they really would have reacted in that situation. If Neve had hidden her book when she heard people at the door, then the audience would have a clue that she's a genius, and the cops can reasonably keep assuming she's a dummy. But when the cops make note of her reading choice, how can they keep on assuming she's stupid? That just wasn't logical.

    Amazingly enough for a movie which is junk and doesn't pretend not to be, critics liked it (61% positive at Rotten Tomatoes). It was a moderate success with a $30 million gross.

    Director John McNaughton has made two excellent guilty pleasure movies, this film and Mad Dog and Glory, but I haven't really liked much else that he's done.

    Casablanca (2004)

    Let me be the first to show you the new poster for the upcoming Casablanca Remake


    Other crap:


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    I think I am in love.

    A movie with a great new actress Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Secretary" who gives one fabulous performance.

    We give you first some nude scenes and then a little kinky stuff as a "Babe in consensual Bondage".

    We will do more from this one?. You bet!

    'Caps and comments by C2000:

    From a Channel 4 (UK) drama called "40" (2003) starring Eddie Izzard. It's about a group of friends reaching the age of 40 who meet up at a school reunion. Aired over three nights, each episode looked at the same series of events but from different points of view.

    • Amira Casar, topless and rear nudity.

    • Chloe Howman, topless

    • Joanne Whalley, partial breast exposure and feeling herself up. (1, 2)

    • Yasmin Kerr, UK actress and daughter of Chrissie Hynde and Jim Kerr in her debut appearence. Topless in #1, skimpy outfits in the rest. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Gretchen Mol
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Gretchen's gorgeous topless as she gets it on with Shakespeare in "Forever Mine" (1999).

    Sarah Chalke Cleavage and fishnets on an episode of "Scrubs".

    Angie Everhart
    Catalina Larranaga
    Lauren Reina

    Great collages by Dann from "Bare Witness". Light on plot, but plenty of good nudity.

    Claire Stansfield A huge collage by Scorpion of the UK actress topless and showing off a terrific thong view in scenes from an episode of the late night cable series "Erotic Confessions".

    Amanda Ooms
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    The Swedish actress and author bares all in scenes from "Så vit som en snö" aka "As White as in Snow" (2001). Great 'caps by Señor Skin

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Pull The Plug - Two years ago, GM hailed its electric car as the "car of the future," and California passed laws requiring that a certain percentage of all cars sold be electric. One problem: people refused to buy them. They're now gathering dust at dealerships in California, the law's been dropped, and GM just announced that they're discontinuing it. The remaining electric cars will either be scrapped, shipped to museums or a research lab, or looted for parts for the people who actually bought one.

  • So Ed Begley Jr. will never run out of batteries.
  • Even Californians would rather trade blood for oil than drive one of these things.
  • Or they'll weld a spoke under the bumper and sell them as slot cars.
  • Nobody wanted a car that ran for only three hours in a state that has six-hour traffic jams.
  • Apparently, it will ALWAYS be "the car of the future."
  • They're sending one to the "City of the Future"...Epcot.

    Do Not Tease Happy Fun Ball - The creators of the Teletubbies are about to debut a new series in Britain that could be the next toddler sensation. It's called the Boobahs, and stars Humbah, Zumbah, Zing Zing Zingbah, Jumbah and Jingbah, five sparkling little atoms who live inside a magical glowing ball.

  • And at the end of every show, they split.
  • "Humbah!" is also the sound of parents vomiting.
  • The Boobahs sounds like an enormous boo-boo.
  • It's hosted by Al "Hoo-hah!" Pacino.

    Her Lawyer Has Them By The Short Hairs - Wonderbra supermodel Eva Herzigova is suing the La Senza Lingerie company of Canada for refusing to pay her $30,000 fee for a day of posing for their catalog. The company claims they didn't like her hairdo, which was cut short for a previous job.

  • And they really think anyone would be looking at her hairdo?