Wednesday

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Tuna
"Jesus' Son"

Jesus' Son (1999) is a very watchable film about a doper named Fuckhead, played by Billy Crudup, and his journey through drug addiction and possibly sobriety. The film gives equal weight to the passion, the fun, the highs, the stupidity, and the tragedies associated with drug use. Scoop wrote a somewhat longer review a few months ago. I agree with him that it is not a mass market film. On the other hand, it is very nicely photographed, and shows all three Bs from Samantha Morton after her OD, when Crudup is trying to revive her, and breasts from Holly Hunter in a sex scene. It was also well-acted. An unidentified naked parasailor is also shown. This film is somewhere between a B- and a C+. I generally hate "drugs suck" movies, and I didn't hate this one.

  • Thumbnails
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  • Holly Hunter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Samantha Morton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Unknown

    "Fort Apache, the Bronx"

    Fort Apache, the Bronx (1981) is a rather dated week in the life of an NYPD precinct in the Puerto Rican slums of South Bronx. The story centers around Paul Newman as Murphy, a 3rd generation cop, who is great at his job, but does not always see eye to eye with his boss. In the opening scene, two rookies are shot and killed, and the current captain is retiring. The new captain is a by-the-book hard-nose, who decides to play hardball with the neighborhood to catch the cop killers. His clash with Newman is inevitable. When some fellow officers throw a kid off a roof during a riot, and Newman sees them in the act, Newman must choose between keeping the only job he knows, and ratting on his fellow officers. In a major sub-plot, Rachel Ticotin plays an emergency room nurse who has an affair with Newman. We see one of her nipples in a bath scene. Two unknowns also show breasts fleeing from their apartment.

    This film, at the time of release, was considered raw and honest, portraying the dark side of slums and police work. By todays standards, it has no shock value, and seems very tame. Still, well developed characters make it very watchable. C

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  • Rachel Ticotin (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown #1
  • Unknown #2 (1, 2)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    MOVIES:

    High Heels and Low Lifes is a British film. I'll bet you'll never guess the genre. If you made any other guess besides "seriocomic gangster film", I wouldn't count on that invitation from Alex Trebek to the Ultimate Jeopardy Competition. This one is heavier than usual on the comedy, and lighter on the violence. I watched it because the box said nudity. Yup, there is a completely gratuitous scene in a strip club with a background stripper, and a really ugly old guy with a butt that sags about to his knees. But nothing from Mary McCormack or Minnie Driver!

    Spy Game is the big Hollywood film with Redford and Pitt engaged in international espionage. It took in a reasonably good $70 million at the box office, but couldn't justify an outrageous $92 million budget. They needed a $200 million dollar picture, and it wasn't even close to that level. The star power alone wasn't enough to carry it that high. It is one of those films with several hundred cuts, like a two hour music video. Actually, I thought the style and editing were OK, but the story just wasn't all that great to begin with. It was just an OK movie, no better. No female nudity.

    Red Shoe Diaries finally got the "Amber Smith on the beach" episode on DVD. It probably has more nudity and clearer nudity than any other episode I have seen. Plus - it's Amber. The other two girls below are from the other episodes on the disk.

    "Mulholland Dr" news update...Regarding the electronic blurring of Laura Harring's pubic hair, David Lynch wrote on hois website:

    "WE DID THAT BLURRING FOR THE DVD ON PURPOSE AS WE KNEW THAT PICTURES OF LAURA WOULD BE EVERYWHERE IF WE DIDN'T".

    And that would be a bad thing because......

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Junior
    Today's "masterpiece"....the Steven Seagal flick "Exit Wounds".

    Actually for a Seagal flick, this was pretty good, one of his best.

    "The Plot"
    Who cares! All Seagal movies are the same. He's some kind of "supercop" that hits everything he shoots with the first bullet, he breaks a ton of arms and even more rules, and is not only friendly with, but loved by whatever minority culture is featured in the film.

    So what's good in this flick...
    The strong supporting cast deserves all of the credit for making this watchable.

  • While hip hop artist/actor, DMX does a little too much "pouting for camera", he's not that bad. With better direction who knows what he could do.

  • Jill Hennessy of "Law and Order" and "Crossing Jordan" was miscast, but turned in a fine performance.

  • Michael Jai White (the guy who played Spawn) was very good. In fact his character was the only one with more than one dimension (although the script limited him to 1.5 dimensions. Maybe 2 with luck) Why isn't he a bigger action star?

  • As Scoop has mentioned, a little Tom Arnold used the right way can be very effective. Such is the case with "Exit Wounds". He played a Morton Downey Jr-esque local TV celeb, and provided very good comic relief. In fact, while the credits role, Arnold and fellow comic reliever, Anthony Anderson do a great improv bit! I laughed out loud several times as they did about 5 minutes of an "interview" from Arnold's character's tv show.

    What else is good....

  • Thankfully...for the first time in several films, Seagal a)cut off his pony tail and b)stopped running around in damned Davey Crockett buckskins!

  • The photography! For director Andrzej Bartkowiak, this was only his second time in the big chair. However, he has very impressive credits with regards to his work as a Cinematographer and Director of Photography! The only downside is that they ended up with a lot of cheap and/or small sets, so his skills were wasted most of the time.

    The nudity:
    Fortunately for us, Bartkowiak's photography skills were put to excellent use in the one place that matters the most! The nudity comes from Shannon Jobe and Kym Kristalie (I have no clue who is who). They play topless dancers who are covering each other with body paint in a well lit and very colorful dance club. Many of the images are repetitive, but I kinda like the brunette :-)

    The DVD transer is very good, as you can see by the quality of the images when enlarged.

    • DeVo
    Rya Kihlstedt
    (1, 2)

    		Topless in the made for cable movie "She Creature"

    Claudia Black The Aussie Sci-Fi babe wearing a very tight shirt in scenes from "Farscape". You may also remember her from "Pitch Black".

    Veronica Ferres
    (1, 2)

    		Topless and full frontal nudity from the German actress in scenes from "Schtonk!".

    Trek Babe
    Jolene Blalock
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    		The sexy Vulcan about as out of her uniform as possible without revealing anything. Don't get me wrong, she's has a great body, but I'll take Seven of Nine any day over T'Pol! Ok...enough Trekiness. Thanks to AD for the scans.

    Celeb Gossip
    From the IMDb

    Penélope Cruz is being comforted by her mother after being dumped by Tom Cruise.

    Penélope flew back to her native Spain and, according to pals, Penelope is seeking sympathy from her mom and mentor, Spanish movie maker Pedro Almodóvar. A friend says, "Penelope has had a terrible few weeks lately, but splitting from Tom is the final straw. She will bounce back, because she has a tough inner spirit. But to go from being Hollywood's Golden Girl to going home to mom is not what she had planned."

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Talk about locking the barn door after everyone has already seen the horse naked!...

    Madonna Turns Coy on Nudity
    By John Joseph

    LONDON (Reuters) - Pop icon Madonna, happy to bare all in her raunchy videos and appear naked in her own photography book, is altogether less happy about two new oil paintings that depict her in the nude.

    The McLaurin Gallery in Ayr, Scotland, is the unlikely venue for the unveiling on April 13 of the two nude Madonna portraits by Scotland's leading contemporary artist Peter Howson.

    "The reaction from her camp hasn't been good," the painter told Reuters in an interview.

    "I think they're frightened of what she'll think."

    The Howson exhibition will be split between the McLaurin Gallery north of the English border and the more hip Flowers Central Gallery in London from April 18.

    Mother-of-two Madonna is a fan and collector of Howson's work and the two have met several times, though the nudes are figments of the painter's imagination.

    Howson has sent Madonna an invitation to the exhibition, but her spokesman declined to say whether the singer would attend.

    For his part, Howson is no fan of Madonna's music -- "my musical heroes are Bach and Mozart" -- but he has spent the last 10 years working on the two images of the 43-year-old London resident, who is married to British film director Guy Ritchie.

    "Nobody knows the true Madonna, not even herself," said Howson. "The thing that strikes you about her is her strength, but there is a great weakness underneath all of that."

    The first painting depicts the singer squatting, with a small graveyard at her feet, her arms lifted skyward, her body a mass of writhing flesh.

    The second image is a representation of the naked Mrs. Ritchie on a bed surrounded by five images: Mary, the mother of God; the biblical character Salome; the Jewish heroine, Esther; Eve, the first woman; and the Athenian courtesan Thais.

    TIGHTROPE Howson won fame in the 1980s as one of the "New Glasgow Boys" and his paintings earned him international acclaim. During the Balkans conflict he was the official British war artist, traveling to Kosovo and Bosnia, where he came under fire. A reformed alcoholic and drug addict, Howson has for the greater part of his 44 years lived the archetypal artist's life.

    "You have to use yourself in your art, but that can be destructive and it can kill you. It's like walking a tightrope," he said. "Now I don't live the life I used to. I thought my art would get worse, but it has got better. I have more ideas and my mind is clearer, so there is more quality control."

    The exhibition tracks the depths into which Howson plunged before he went into rehabilitation -- an experience he describes as more "boot camp" than "trendy clinic."

    His lowest point came two years ago when he was so out of control that he was unable to negotiate the three steps up to the kitchen in his flat. Now he attends church regularly.

    "My life has completely turned around. I feel incredible now and I've also got my visions back which I used to have as a child," said Howson, a sufferer of Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that manifests itself most obviously by obsessional behavior.

    Despite being at the forefront of British contemporary art, Howson has little time for his conceptual contemporaries, such as Martin Creed and original bad boy of BritArt Damien Hirst.

    "All this conceptual art is rubbish and those artists who do that are being irresponsible. They're putting the public off art by their stupidity.

    "I would like art to be respected and deal with real things -- war and poverty, things that are meaningful. Not switching a light on and off, or putting sharks in formaldehyde."



    Other News
    "D'oh"!
    The Simpsons are being sued! Apparently the Brazilian Tourism board wasn't pleased with how the country was depicted in a recent episode. Personally, I thought it was funny as hell. By the way, in January the mayor of Rio threatened to sue a weather forecaster who wrongly predicted that there would be storms on New Year's Eve. I think FOX will be ok if there's legal action....


    Here's a great link - the backstage demands of rock stars in concert! Not rumors either, but copies of the original documents they filed!


    Another excellent link. Well worth a look if you're a breast man.